TTC after MC - November 2020 (Thread 15)

[VP91x]

Hi All,

Please tag anyone from the old thread 🥰🥰

And anyone else who would like to join please do xx

Hi @Joan7986 and @DancingGiraffe sorry you are both joining.

DTD whilst TTC is not fun, especially when you are situations like all of us, I bet when we all first started it was novel and now months/years down the line the novelty has most certainly worn off. I'm only 28 but been with DH over 10 years now so I'm not as into DTD as he would like anyway haha, I prefer a cuddle on the sofa nowadays. I think exactly like @elsimo and talk about it is good, we both said to each other that it is a chore as we are desperately trying TTC, so I think it helps to both be on the same page. If you are really concerned have a little break from it, and try and work on the build up, maybe message each other, watch a romantic/sexy film, sometimes I like to do my hair and put a bit of makeup on to make myself feel better.

Honestly, I think my DH just thinks I think of him as a sperm bank lol, maybe we need to show them a bit of affection and attention so they think we want them not just for their swimmers!

Hi ladies, I haven’t posted for a few weeks but have been keeping up with the thread. I was wondering if anyone could offer some advice ? My early miscarriage bleeding started 1st Nov but I haven’t had AF again yet. We have been trying again but the cheapy tests are all completely negative. When did most people get AF again ? I don’t know if I should be expecting it now or not and my period tracker app doesn’t seem to know either 🤷‍♀️

Hi @NatNoo96

It’s such a tough one to answer. From reading this thread I’ve seen there’s a HUGE variation in timing. I had a mmc at 8 weeks and found out at my 12 week scan, and my period returned within 29 days following the surgery. But I’ve heard some people say it takes a few months. I know it’s not helpful but it’s good to prepare for a bit of a wait. I think that’s why I used my first month of waiting for AF after my surgery to take a month off and enjoy some of the nicer things in life such as wine and naughty food :) . That way I wasn’t thinking and testing every day. Everyone is so different though.

What date did you stop bleeding? I bled for about 2 weeks and got my period two weeks after it had stopped. And when you say negatives? Are you talking about HCG or LH tests?

@familybythesea thanks so much. I’ve taken antibiotics and feeling back to normal. Amazing how quickly they’ve worked. Only taking three days worth.

Welcome @Joan7986 and @DancingGiraffe

@MSG92 I don't find it too bad but I think DH can sometimes be a bit like wtf. Because of the MC I'm currently going through and then the one before we've not DTD on medical advice for about 3 weeks this time so it always seems like it's all or nothing with us at the moment 🙈

@NatNoo96 after my first MC I got my period about 30 days after like @RichmondLady1981 but not expecting the same this time around. I'm going to try and distract myself by getting back into exercise instead of waiting for AF to arrive - completely the wrong time of year but I've put on 6lbs by being pregnant twice in the last 5 months and need something to focus on!

Thank you @RichmondLady1981 and @bez91! After worrying about it last night I’ve woken up this morning and AF has arrived! I’m a little disappointed obviously but at least I can track this month better if it’s a proper cycle unlike last month!
I feel like I’m getting a bit obsessive with getting pregnant at the moment but I can’t think about anything else!

@CLSM it's here

Thank you @MSG92.
I have recently had a missed miscarriage and DNC and have had one period since. My next period is in 5 days however I’ve had some cramping today that really feels like it’s coming. Could this be implantation bleeding? Has anyone else had this? I’m really hoping for BFP x

Than you for all for the welcomes! So we dtd after my positive OPK on Wednesday night but didn't dtd last night as didn't want to put too much pressure on it so soon after my MC - I am temping but haven't had a substantial rise yet (although my resting heart rate has risen) so I have either just ovulated or about to.

After both my MC it took about 5 weeks for me to have a period again so only slightly longer than usual.

So I am now in the TWW, due on the 18th December and going to try and wait to test until then. Trying to not put too much pressure on this months seeing as we only dtd once just before ovulation and it is our first cycle after my miscarriage.

I am going to have a few drinks this weekend but after that I am going to hold off just encase we do get lucky this month.

Where is everyone else in their cycle?

@Joan7986 am also in the dreaded TWW and due on the 13th Dec. Dtd the day before and day of ovulation (according to app). Dunno why but I’ve been super hopeful the past 4 cycles but I’m just not feeling it this cycle. Let’s see. Lots of baby dust to you 😀 💫

Please someone advise on the above I’m going out of my mind lol

@CLSM -with my pregnancy which was a lot more progressed further than my most recent (which ended in 6 weeks) I had really bad bloating and cramps from about 11DPO! I had a lot more cramps with my pregnancy which progressed to a heat beat then the one which didn't so don't loose hope!

I have found that period symptoms have been the same as BFPs, I would just test in a few days! Xx

@Joan7986 thanks so much 🤞🏽

@CLSM I know it’s hard. But I’ve been pregnant twice now (one ended with a healthy baby boy- now 19 months) and I can honestly say the symptoms of pregnancy and imminent AF are very similar. The only thing that helps is Measuring BBT as temps slowly starts to rise after 10/11DPO when you are pregnant. It starts to fall when you’re not.

I noted bloating, spotting, PMS, itchy nipples both when I was AND was not pregnant. Last month I swore I was pregnant as my boobs were sore and I felt lightheaded. I was wrong. I’m avoiding symptom spotting as it’s been playing tricks on me lately 😆.

With my first pregnancy which lead to my son, I had a two day bleed which I thought was my period. I was on honeymoon in France at the time. This was apparently implantation! So weird.

Wishing you all the best. Try not to obsess too much (easier said than done I know). Watch a movie... or even better the final of I’m a celeb this evening to take your mind of it! 😁 😘

@RichmondLady1981 thanks so much that has really helped. I will try and distract myself and see what happens next week. I guess either way I can’t change the outcome so what will be will be 😘

@RichmondLady1981 @MSG92 @susiebluebell Thank you so much for the advice on the pregnancy tests ladies.
I don't think they will be necessary this month as pretty sure the arrival of the Witch is imminent.
Feeling pretty rubbish about it all really I was sure this was going to be my month. I think in all honesty I just felt like it had to be my month and I really just needed it to be with my EDD being the 12th Jan and it being a year since we started trying it so times all just feels too much to bare.
It is tough xx

@CLSM I didn't really experience any symptoms when I got my BFP, other than cramping that I thought was AF. I don't think symptoms actually start properly until the egg has implanted and hormones have had a chance to start rising a bit.

I have my scan tomorrow ladies!! 1pm, I'll be 7w6d so hoping abdominal will suffice, DH has just had a pop at me for not eating enough salad and veg... Honestly with my appetite so low the last few days it's been a struggle to eat at all, and I've had an upset stomach the last 2 evenings after I've eaten dinner :/ not pleasant. Feeling so tired. Hope everyone else is doing well.

Anyone nearing the end of their TWW?

@Jellybean8 - I’ve promised myself only to test once a week otherwise it really does drive you insane. I eellike its a reminder of the loss and what could have been. I have been told to expect AF in 4-6 weeks time, which really does feel like forever for me. Like you, I just want to know what’s going on in my body. I hope you are able get some clarity now that you know where you are in your cycle.

@susiebluebell - I’m glad to hear you and your OH are on the same page. It’s hard not to think about what could have been, what might have happened had we had done things differently. I think the only thing you can do is focus on the present and look forward to what the future might hold. As horrible as it sounds, we need to learn to let go of the past in order to be excited for the future. As I’m typing this message, I realise I’m giving you advice which I should really implement in my own life too. I hope you receive some positive news soon xx

@RichmondLady1981 - I completely agree with you. It is real hard work. I know it certainly has taken the excitement and fun away for my OH and I. It’s almost as though we are so determined to reach the end goal, we aren’t actually enjoying the journey. I know there are times where we both just feel so shattered and DTD is the last thing on our mind. I hope you feel better soon! Sending lots of love to you xx

@Joan7986 - Hi Joan. Welcome to the thread albeit in unfortunate circumstances. As you will have already seen, there are plenty of women here who have experiences across the spectrum so I’m sure you will find some support and guidance. If you ever you feel alone and would like to talk, please feel free to drop me a private message. My situation is very similar to you, no only the loss of two pregnancies but also that the intimate relationship between my OH and I has really changed since we started trying. after months of trying to ignore it, I spoke about how I feel to the OH and I was surprised at the response. He really did understand where I was coming from and to a certain extent felt the same. We were both putting so much pressure on timings/dates and it just lost a bit of the spontaneity. We have agreed to strike a better balance in order to feel like “us” again. Fingers crossed for you! xx

@DancingGiraffe - Hello my love. I hope you are doing ok. I do understand how difficult it can be to be around others who seem to have conceived effortlessly. If I’m honest, I feel that I unintentionally avoided my nieces and nephews who are all under the ages of 5 even by just not wanting to speak to them over FaceTime! I know - It’s ridiculous.. but I feel like I’m getting better. Like you say, we have to try our best and just relax. I have faith that it will work out in the end.. I just have to keep reminding myself of that

As always, wishing all you lovely ladies lots of love and warm wishes! xx

@MSG92 thinking of you for tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll come out with the biggest smiles on your faces. So sweet that your OH is fussing about your nutrition 💕 Keep us posted.

@Mustkeepgoing2 I hear you. My due date would have been NYE so this is my final TWW before then and I know it’s going to be an emotional one. Try to stay positive..... you know what I’m going to say:.. it’s not over till the witch arrives. 😘

Thank you @RichmondLady1981. I hope this is your month. It's so hard isn't it.
I know it sounds ridiculous but I sometimes feel like such a failure. Like this should be the most natural thing in the world but my body just can't get it right. Time to go to sleep I think. Tomorrow is a new day xx

Hi all, new here. I've had 2 mc this year. First one in Feb i had scan at 6.5 weeks and saw baby and hb but no hb at 8 week scan and it had stopped growing at 7.5 weeks. Second one in oct/nov. Started bleeding after bfp but hcg rising. At scan at 7 weeks I had an empty sac but they weren't sure if I was just earlier then I thought. Had to wait 2 weeks and it hadn't grown at all. Had a d&c early November and af has just arrived so we can try again. I'm so anxious about everything. It took 7 months between last time and I'm worried it's going to take that long or longer again and then I'm even anxious about a bfp

@Simmy20 welcome. So sorry for what you’ve been through. To have gone through the trauma twice is so awful and cruel. I can honestly say you will find comfort and strength here. There are so many lovely ladies who have been through the same as you. Although it’s horrible, at least you’re not alone and you can talk to people who understand. There are so many success stories that will give you hope.

Thank you @RichmondLady1981. I was part of a group here for pregnant after miscarriage which was really good so I thought a ttc group would be too.

Hi and welcome @Joan7986 @DancingGiraffe @CLSM sorry you find yourselves here but it will be such a help having other ladies in the same boat to vent to 😊

@NatNoo96 Good to see you again

@Mustkeepgoing2 You sound really low 💕 Are you seeking any counselling or other help offline? I've been where you are, feeling like a failure and TTC feels hopeless. Hugs x

Hey everyone!

Hope you are all doing ok
I got a negative test yestertday so that is us back to TTC again.
My cycles are pretty regular and from what I can remember my period came back after my last mc after about 4 weeks. Surgical managment this time tho so who knows when it will appear.
Hopefully it won't and I can get pregnant straight away again xx

Hey @elsimo good news on the negative, how many days post procedure was this?

Similar to you I my surgical management on Wednesday. My bleeding has practically stopped already just a bit of spotting. Interesting that you are going to try again straight away, that was my plan but the consultant who did the procedure said to wait for one period but they seem to advise everyone else slightly different! I thought the only benefit was that it's easier to date if you had a LMP. This pregnancy was actually straight after another MC (naturally) but didn't know if it changed anything because of the surgical procedure. It's all just a guessing game 🙈