Tits out, chin up and ❤️ yourself - TTC Bus 19

[Juno231]

Come join us on our TTC journeys - all you need is a sense of humour!

Bus history:
June - 24 BFPs
July - 11 BFPs
August - 18 BFPs
September - 4 BFPs

October BFPs so far:
@blackcurrantqueen - Oct 5th
@mrsbear1122 - Oct 12th
@savethechubbyunicorns - Oct 13th

Testing dates:
@adogisforlife - October 17th
@pebblesinthesand - October 17th
@mosherchick - October 18th
@Vil10 - October 21st
@ladybird345 - October 22nd
@lucyrp - October 22nd
@Franklydear - October 25th
@Kay00 - October 25th
@Juno231 - October 26th
@dsr87 - October 28th
@clairey844 - October 30th
@notyetamumbuttrying - October 31st
@katao - November 1st
@2020mission - November 2nd
@nestinginNL - November 18th
@Hopeful110 - November 22nd

Thanks @notyetamumbuttrying and @juno231. No harm eating 1 or 2 a day, just reading up there.

And should I speak to DH first?

@minster2012 that's a lovely idea. I shared the candle on my Facebook and some commented saying sending hugs etc and I'm sure alot liked wondering what it was about. I'm lucky in the sense a good few of my friends and family have asked how I am etc and that opens it up to be spoken about. I suppose I'm not talking about it as not everyone will feel comfortable talking about it. But certainly have no issue talking about it. It can be a very lonely time because people don't talk about it. The amount of people I've found out had a mc since my loss is unreal. Same as DH the amount of fellas talking to him now because they can relate.

@2alreadywantanother my concern is that DH hates talking about stuff with others, social media (he isn't on it) & might not want ppl to know 🤷‍♀️though he prob wouldn't care but he likely wouldn't talk to ppl

I was half expecting DH to say something about me posting it but he didnt. He knows that's my way. Not his but in fairness who's gona say it to him? But I get u as there stuff DH doesn't like me posting about

@Sausage1990 thank you for that, they are happening during the night when I have no active fast acting insulin on board. Normally for the last half of my cycle I need to up my basal by around 20%, I haven't had to this cycle and I'm still having hypos! This is the only thing that doesn't fall into pre AF symptoms.

@blackcurrantqueen I'm really sorry to hear that, look after yourself 💕

@Minster2012 I'd talk to DH about it, not to ask permission, more a heads up about you posting something. It's a subject that isn't talked about when really it should be. I was 22 when I was first pregnant and because it's not something openly discussed and at that point I didn't have friends who were ttc I was woefully ignorant and just assumed that the vast majority of pregnancies resulted in a baby. A bit of reading up and a few forums for pregnant diabetics showed me how wrong I was. Both women and men should be able to talk about this as it is a loss at any stage. Anyone who says "oh it was only a few weeks, you can just try again" needs to be poked in the eye and promptly told to fuck off! They are the reason it's not spoken about and why those who have lost feel sometimes that their emotions aren't valid. I hate that we feel we can't "announce" a pregnancy til after 12 weeks because something might go wrong, it's why so many people have the skewed view that pregnant = baby. I don't know if I'm wording the next bit right but here goes... we have to normalise (?) miscarriages so they aren't something we feel needs to be kept quiet or hidden. Talking about people we lose helps with grief why isn't it the same for the loss of pregnancies?
I'm getting on my soap box now so I'll rein it in but the pregnancy loss awareness week showed me so many friends who have lost babies but never speak about it irl and I'd be heartbroken to think this wasn't their choice, that they don't mention it because they feel they shouldn't.

@Minster2012 ah I saw a lot of this last night. Obviously we wouldn't want anyone to go through it in a perfect world, but there were people on my Facebook/Instagram who I would never have expected had struggles. Some people were just in support of it in general, but some opened up with their own stories and I thought 1. How brave of them but 2. How nice for other people in the same situation to see they're not alone. I think if your DH is comfortable with it then it's a nice sign of support to others if nothing else 💕

Quick update, but will catch up soon. I'm passing clots, so it's game over for this month. The worst part is that my boobs are still sore, I'm still weeing like crazy and I'm stuck with this sour taste at the back of my tongue. I guess it will pass.

@2alreadywantanother

"I suppose I'm not talking about it as not everyone will feel comfortable talking about it." 😢

I'm honestly heartbroken that you feel that way. If a person goes through the loss of a baby then as a fellow human being it's my duty to allow them to talk about it without feeling uncomfortable. If they went through that loss and can talk about it then I have no right to feel uncomfortable.
This really shouldn't be such a taboo subject.

@Minster2012 I also posted a pic of my candle and a girl I'm friendly with re posted her Instagram from last year which detailed her loss and me and her exchanged a few hearts in the comments. People don't know exactly what's happened but I guess it's just kind of hinting at something and awareness 💗

@Mosherchick 😭sorry you are out this month, hope you've got some nice treats to make you feel better, sore boobs & all

@Gem176 yeah I feel the same & your words are very eloquent about not announcing a pregnancy til 12 weeks but that doesn't make it any less of a pregnancy or any less of a loss. & I often feel like @2alreadywantanother's words too so as not to have that awkwardness but I am now thinking that shouldn't be the case & for everyone's mental health that shouldn't happen

@gem176 I've plenty to talk to and have done. It's like sex, I've no issues talking about most subjects, but not everyone is comfortable talking about things.
Regarding the 12 wait before telling people. I'm completely agree. We decided not to tell anyone, I mean anyone as it was a big thing. I'm 40 and alot wouldn't have expected it and it was to be a surprise. We told family and friends b4 12 wks on previous pregnancies. But I said to a few its bull because you still end up telling the ones you would have told about the bad news and in my case I didnt get to share my happy time. Just the sad part.

Herro all!

@Minster2012 I'm thinking perhaps I have supreme cum suck technology in my vagina.. we never get sticky sheets, but it takes much upsuck and twisting manoeuvres and tissues to achieve this.

@LBee2020 our dog was 2yo when first baby came home, was fine for a while but then got ultra protective. She used to love running with other dogs at the park but then only wanted to hang out near the pram and would growl if other dogs came near us 🤷🏼‍♀️

@blackcurrantqueen I'm so sorry to hear, that's total shit 💔

@Franklydear aah rough day poor love! You are a legend for mumming with such care and patience 🙌🏼

@KateColx yep I had spotting in early pregnancy and all was totally fine!

I'm not big into social media and don't post much, so wouldn't get into the candle sharing thing myself, but if that's your thing then 100% go for it. It's so important that women (and men) feel like they're not alone in their loss and grief.

On this note, I promise some day I'll explain how I found myself back on the TTC train, but if it's ok I'm just not feeling up for that 'conversation' today! X

@Minster2012 The 12 week thing really does mask the true number of losses in early pregnancy. We see friends with for example 3 kids and we only hear about those 3 pregnancies so as far as we are aware they are just super lucky. We may not know that in between each pregnancy they miscarried before 12 weeks or the reason for the big age gaps is that it took years of trying or medical interventions etc. Nobody talks about it so we sit at home wondering why we are struggling to get pregnant or have lost pregnancies without knowing that a lot of other women are in the same boat or have been through the same thing before. I think that might be why I love these threads so much. We talk openly to each other about our struggles, we find support and don't feel alone.

@Skip86 I'm crying laughing at your talented cum sucking vag 😂 want to hand out some hints and tips, hate the wet patch and can't stand the though of dirty sheets so with dtd so often I'm changing the sheets almost daily 😂 neighbours must think one of us is pissing the bed 😂

Oh thanks @Skip86, care and patience, and a bit of tough love, I did push him to go to school at mid morning, but he had a good day and even managed to do some work, and the lesson of just because something happened, you don’t get to have the whole day off, you pick up yourself and carry on.
I know I asked, but don’t feel you need to tell us until you want to.

@Gem176 my talented vagina thanks you for the compliment 💁🏼‍♀️

@Franklydear Keep Calm and Carry On, yassss 👑

For those who don't know, I am in Australia (#straya) so pop in and out at weird times. So for now it's goodnight! 😘

@2alreadywantanother I'm happy you have people to talk to. Can't imagine not having someone to talk to. I'm a bit like you, no subject is off limits and I'm quite open, maybe too open 😳
I just don't get why certain things that are so common are taboo... I'm sure 99% of adults either have sex or have had sex, why do so many feel uncomfortable talking about it (irl not here 😂). The same goes for ttc and pregnancy loss.

The next bit might not be for everyone but it might make you feel a bit more normal!! I hope it won't put a downer on anyone, not my intention at all, just hoped to make us feel a little less like it's only happening to us.

Had a wee look at some statistics (today has got me thinking) at 25 your odds of getting pregnant after 3 months trying is just under 20%, this declines as you age so in theory over 80% of those 25+ have to actively ttc but we think we are odd when it takes us months of trying. We aren't!
Up to 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage but this only applies to known pregnancies so the actual figure could be a lot higher as this is after the 5 week mark and many may not know they are pregnant before this point.
Now for the less gloomy news.... a study suggests that after week 6 only 5% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, this drops to 1-2% after 12 weeks.
For any of the 1 in 100 women who have recurrent miscarriages (3 or more in a row) more than 60% go on to have a successful pregnancy.

Not all bad news!! I think we are sold some sort of myth that getting pregnant will happen in spite of us so when it doesn't happen instantly we get down and because no one talks about their struggles we assume everyone else is getting pregnant oh so easily!

@Skip86 during lockdown I loved having the Australians to talked to during the night when ds didn’t sleep, it was a big help.

Starting to have cramps, boobs and nausea, af due next Wednesday, doesn’t look good...

We are here when ever u are ready @skip86 xx goodnight

@gem176 when we started trying mid june, researching didnt give us much hope. I was nearly 40 and been overweight didnt help matters. We caught on our 2nd month of trying. Now I wasn't on pill or anything so didnt have to get that out of my system thankfully.
Getting to 9wks we thought we were well on our way.
I know theres no way of knowing and absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent it happen but I do think my tooth had a big part of it. I had an awful toothache, got filling the following wk I got the bad news. Since then I've had 2 infections 1 in the tooth, got antibiotics and cleaning and ended up pulling the tooth then another infection in the gum. So something was brewing while I was pregnant and getting that toothache kicked ut all off. I'm near the end of my antibiotic and it seem to have settled well. I just want to put an end to the last 5wks, nearly 6 wks of pain and heartache.
And please god we are blessed with another bean that will be a sticky 1 💕

Been to the loo and for 2 days hat watery/slippery cm today its still slippery but a milky white consistency when I wiped. Is this a good sign. Roughly 2-3dpo

@2alreadywantanother yeah you said it there, often you end up telling ppl afterwards that you would have told so they just get the sad bit.

Though I don't know if it's me in some mean way sometimes wanting ppl around to know it ain't f ing easy for everyone (certainly for 95% of ppl I know it has been very easy cos at least 3 ppl I know were like "oh yeah my 12 week scan is then but it will be fine like totally blase I'm like we were petrified). That's prob very mean. And not make sense but I'm always being told after events "oh you are so strong" oh you mean by not talking bout it? By just saying I'm fine? Hmmmm really strong, not crumbling inside, honest. 😂😬

Oh yassssss @Skip86 I knew you are a bloody porn star with ya fake boobs (true dat) and your queen of the upsuck vagina....you need to teach us brits your "down under" trucks cos they are clearly working better than our massive vaginas for holding onto swimmers! I used to love waking up to your sense of humour first post of the morning! And seriously, don't tell us if you don't want to gorgeous 😘no need, we just welcome you back with sticky tits & quizzes

@Franklydear miss cucumber??? Thems can also be well known pregnancy signs. As we all know so calm down llama.

Anyway. I will stop being a downer
Sorry ladies just a bit thoughtful today

@Minster2012 I know! Yuck. Can it? Hmm hopefully then!
And boo to wet patches, they suck balls! Enjoy pumpkin picking x

@blackcurrantqueen so sorry about what you're going through 💕

@Minster2012 hmm, I'll tell you Wednesday, I guess... I don't dare to hope anymore

[quote Juno231]@2alreadywantanother I dont think theres a specific time to eat them - just throughout your cycle!

@Joanna1009 Welcome! I've added you to the list :) Will this be your first?[/quote]
Thank you! No this will be my 5th! I thought I was done as my Ex husband left when I found out I was pregnant with our last baby (almost 3 now). We are divorced now and I'm happy with my children...I never expected to meet anyone again. But here we are, happy, engaged and he has no children of his own. I'm just worried I'm late 30's now and my cycles aren't as regular xx