Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

@soontobeamama I've honestly no idea! I'm just feeling so down about it today. It was just a call centre booking team I spoke to who just matter of factory said yeah it's quite a wait, around 33 weeks then you'll get an appointment which will just be a phone call for the first one, it didn't even know what to say! I'm going to look at the prices of private tests over the weekend then speak to the go again next week and see if there's anything else they can do themselves and say to them I'm just totally anxious about waiting that kind of time due to my age! I really hope so too as it's really knocked me back xx

Good luck ! I think you're right to push it and take matters into your own hands. We definitely need to be proactive as time isn't on our side but there's still hope - take care xx

@soontobeamama thank you and good luck to you too! How far into the tww are you? I'm 7dpo today xx

Hi @Marvellouslymadmum - I'm 6 dpo - on cd 20 - period is due on 10th April - I'm counting the days and they are not moving quickly enough for my liking! xx

@soontobeamama ahh so we are around the same dpo then, I can't even remember what cycle I'm on without checking but it's somewhere around the 40 mark 🙁 af should be due for my around 9th/10th as well and it feels like forever away!! Xx

Hi everyone sorry I havemy been on-line for a while as I have been trying not to obsess too much each month. But I just got a BFP on Friday. I don’t feel like I’m there yet after two miscarriages, holding out for early scans and tests to see if this is a pregnancy that can last. Fingers crossed. Delighted to be in with a shot at least. Pic attached from 14 dpo very feint but there!

@October1979 how are you doing are you still trying naturally? Or did you decide to try IVF? I hope you are doing ok.

The funny thing is we had just been getting fertility tests and were considering ivf. It was appealing for the chromosomal screening which is the but we have been having difficulty with.

Wishing everyone luck this cycle.

@Bouncytree oooh congratulations! I fully appreciate the nerves in waiting to see how this progresses but as you say, definitely great to be in with a chance.

Oh wonderful news @Bouncytree delighted for you! Keep us updated with how things are going. I think we've decided against ivf 10%chance seems so low for success and I'm worried I would get sucked in to trying multiple times with no success and not knowing when to stop. But I'm not totally against going abroad for a donor egg if I reach the end of the road. The success rate seems to be around 70%. However for now I am still trying naturally and hopeful. This is such lovely news.

@Bouncytree ah such lovely news. Congratulations. Just remember, today you are pregnant. I’ve got everything crossed all is ok and this is it for you! Xx

@October1979 it’s such a difficult decision. I think it’s a shame you can’t have a funded cycle since it’s your first baby you’re trying for. I’m still surprised the odds are so low. Hoping you get some good news naturally! Xx

@Marvellouslymadmum I’m so sorry to hear the wait is long for an appointment. I think it’s awful considering it’s time sensitive. Hoping you can get a private appointment though annoyed for you it’s come to that. Xx

As for me, I’m cd 19 and still no o. I had a melt down yesterday when my temperature dropped. I just felt so sad and frustrated with my body. Thankfully I’ve always suffered with irregular cycles. If not I’d think it was the dreaded peri menopause. My hormones seem all over the place. I’m getting mood swings and hormonal headaches. I have none of the other symptoms so just think it’s maybe still my body sorting itself out after the miscarriage. Or else I’m still recovering from having my ds last year. Maybe having a baby later in life takes longer to recover from, He is one tomorrow and my aim was to start trying then so I guess we’ve got the ground running. Wishing baby dust to you all! Xx

@Bouncytree oh congratulations 🎉 here's to a sticky bean!
CD 11 for me, still no positive OPK but starting DTD yesterday and doing it as many times as we're physically up to it lol. Usually ovulation happens around CD 13/14 🤞🏻

How are you getting on @Bouncytree? Hope things are going well. That's a nightmare @Catconfusion I feel for you how frustrating. Stay positive you managed to get pregnant before it will happen again. I'm at cd 12 so in the middle of my fertile week. Like you I usually O cd14/15 @sabtom

Hi everyone, thanks for your kind words.

Good luck with ovulation @sabtom

@Marvellouslymadmum I hope you get sorted with tests soon. It may not be as much as you think privately and worth it when feeling under such time pressure.

@soontobeamama Fingers crossed for your TWW your nearly there

@October1979 good luck with DTD this month, it always feels good to be on a fresh cycle and seeing the positive OPK. Fingers crossed this is your month 🤞

I have to say I found a lot of the stats very confusing in relation to fertility and IVF. They are given out of context of the studies and very hard to get a sense of what they mean in practicality. I was told I had a 5% chance of getting pregnant naturally and 15%-20% with ivf. That Is all prior to tests so based on averages. It didn’t seem to encouraging but then I read a 20 year old has a 20% chance of getting PG. it is all theoretical anyway, no one really know what will happen in practice and persistence is key really. It makes me me laugh that I was actually pregnant when he was telling me I had a 5% chance. Though I’m not there yet 🤞

@Catconfusion so frustrating when you feel under pressure to ovulate and it just won’t happen. My periods were different after the MC, 2 days longer and symptoms for about 5 days before hand, cramps nausea, thought I was PG every month and also worry about peri menopause.

Taking it day by day here and trying to keep a level head until I can get some scans and info. Feel like we’re in with a good shot but trying not to think too far head, I know there’s a possibility of MC again but trying not to worry too much. Cramps just like period last night and seemed less nauseous than before so was flipping out a bit. But no bleeding so all good for now. I’m on Easter break and looking forward to getting back to work for some distraction, they days are going so slow! .

Thanks @Bouncytree! It's the longest wait ever, but I've only got a few days to go now - resisting taking an early test until Saturday, as that is when I'm due on.

How are you feeling? Have you been in touch with the early pregnancy unit to book in for an early scan?

Wishing you looks of luck that this is your time!

Hopefully the rest of us won't be too far behind! xx

@Bouncytree glad you're doing ok, yes I'm going to speak to the doc this week about a few things and see what I can find out then book some private bits if I don't get anywhere.
I also found out recently that most of the data on getting pregnant at an older age was all gathered year and years ago think it's was like 1800's or something stupid when the average age of a woman was around 45 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ no wonder they didn't have many successful pregnancies when they were all on their last legs or dead!

Hello, can I join the over 40 TTC for the first time? I'm 41 and stopped taking the pill last month. Scared and excited but also feel bombarded with negativity about my age.

Welcome @ponymum1980 you have friends in us we are all in the same boat. Don't let the negativity put you off x

Welcome @ponymum1980! Have you thought about any tests/supplements yet? They’re v helpful for women our age :-) Good to get an idea of where you’re at so you can either just chill and enjoy the process or take any required action quickly. We have less time than those 30-something chicas! 😆 Also, do you know about ovulation tracking? It’s not scary and is another good way to make every month count! Xx

Welcome to the thread @ponymum1980 😊 I second what @Geriatric1234 wrote, get going with tests and supplements, time is not on our side unfortunately, wish I started earlier.

Update from me: CD15, after 2 days of flashing smileys I just got the static peak smiley today. FF says ovulation day was CD13 and Ava says it was yesterday. Temp dipped this morning, but I'm hoping that's the dip before ovulation happens? Anyway, DTD CD10/12/14 and plan to jump my OH tonight and tomorrow and maybe the day after if he's game 😂 hopefully all bases will be covered

Been taking folic acid since Xmas, calcium and vitamin D because I have a cow's milk allergy and multivitamin. No alcohol since I stopped the pill (Nosecco is a good alternative!) and have cut down to one coffee in the morning and no retinol eye creams anymore. Trying to up the exercise, eat well and do mediation more regularly too. Was just going to give my body a chance to settle and see what it does for first couple of months off the pill. Have been recording physical changes on an app (think I ovulated on Sunday) and have ordered a thermometer to start doing BBT once it arrives. Really surprised though how different my body is off the pill too. I'm a scientist so I'm okay with the science bits, but it's the emotional side of it that's full on and the uncertainty. Also really missing chatting with girlfriends about this with the whole lockdown - it's different on Zoom.

Hi all! Hope we're all doing well and looking forward to a little normality again tomorrow?

I made a post earlier about my temps, but don't seem to be getting any replies, maybe you lovely lot can give me some opinions?

CD 15 (day after Ava’s predicted) I got a peak static smiley after 2 days flashing smiley, but temps are going down not up? I normally ovulate around CD 12/13/14 and regular cycles (26-28 days)so this month seems very unusual. Could it be late ovulation this month or not at all? I tested again today (CD 17) but got an empty circle so I'm no longer peaking. Gunna DTD again tonight just incase but this is the longest we've ever gone! Both getting tired 😂

Hi @sabtom is Ava saying you've ovulated. Usually Ava moves my ovulation day if it's not sure I've ovulated. Has she moved yours? I've had my static smileys on Friday and Saturday but got this message from Ava yesterday when Ava predicted I would ovulate and today. See attached photo. Is it possible your LH surge was detected because your body geared up to ovulate then it was delayed? I'm kinda in the same boat

Hi @October1979, no, Ava has changed my ovulation date, it predicted ovulation CD14 and still says I ovulated CD14. It has moved my ovulation date before but this month it hasn't. Hopefully my ovulation was delayed and I get a ride in temps within the next few days.

Other than adding vitamin E tablets, I can't think what I could've done different to delay ovulation 🤷🏻‍♀️