October 2007 ~All about us ~ MC'ing or MC'ed or TTC of BFP after MC or just loves cakes!

[katendmom]

As we agreed - starting a fresh thread before our original shuts down. Will post this new link into the old thread so everybody can find us!

In the meantime ~ sprinkling it with pink and blue baby pixie dust

and splashing with baby glue so lo's stick around forever ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ignore me lol im just feeling generally shitty and tired

oh no, so sorry about your kitten, ilts . hope the others pull through okay.
twingey back and constipation though -it may soon be time for more live testing

i spent the day at work researching IVF so i can write a brochure for a fertility media (as in the stuff they do the procedures in)company. Seeing all the pics of babies made me sad, and all the infertility info made me nervous too.

anyway, my five day cake pig-fest is over and i will be making veggie-sludge soup from an organic box this week in penance.

starlight its an absolute outrage. i just think its appalling - i just don't get it. i mean the scandinavian countries do so well and i know we pay high tax here but its bloody high in the uk too.

katie i guess she was trying to be chummy and postive but that was really clumsy.

i have got to the point though, where i kind of don't want to talk about it with other people much anymore. in fact, i have a friend coming down from stockholm this friday and she has been so sweet and kind (she has no kids and no intentions to right now) but i am really hoping that i won't have to re-hash everything right now. is that weird of me?

StarlightMcKenzie I'm so sorry you had such an awful time thiugh as you were at Chase Farm I'm not at all suprised! That was our closest hospital when I was pregnant with DD2 and when the gp whipped out the CF referal form I shouted no a bit too loudley and asked to go where I had dd1 which was a pain to get to but a better hospital. After DD1 was born our community midwife came from CF and decided to visit everyother day as we were doing well. On dat five she didn't visit and dd was really floppy and wouldn't wake, I called the number she gave and only a HCA was available and she told me to give dd some water and the midwife would visit me the next morning. I called the post natal ward where I had dd and they bleeped a pead who told us to come straight to a&e, dd fitted a few minutes after we got there, if I had listened to the people at CF DD would most probably have died. I have heard so many horror stories like that from that hosptial.

ILTS - sorry your kittens have been so poorley.

Hello to everyone else and sorry I have ranted on about something totally irrelevant!

oh ILTS I didn't realise you were hand rearing kittens. How are they getting on? No wonder you are so shattered! So sorry one died. What has happened to mum?

Starlight: I had a pretty similar experience when I went in to have my 'medical procedure' to bring about my missed miscarriage, although not nearly as awful as yours. It's unbelievable that this sort of stuff still happens in this day and age. You should definitely complain, I couldn't be bothered as just wanted to forget about the whole thing, but as my Gp told me later, if no-one complains then it just happens to someone else, and other people might not be as strong as us and less able to cope with it.
Katendmom: My relationship with my SIL has always been a bit dodgy, but she did know about my mc and she called me first to tell me her news, and I think thought that was a privelige. I would rather not know until she is past the 'dangerous' stage as I would hate for her to go through what I did.
Spooky: terrible about your DC3. I had similar comments from close family when I told them about my mc, as I already have a ds. 'Never mind, you've already got one wonderful child, many people don't even get that'. I agree, but doesn't make it any easier. Even my Mum just said 'Never mind', family eh!

she is finding it a bit to hard to cope with as she only gave birth to 4 the other 4 are from my cat that was pinched.

They all seem ok now but there are 2 in particular im worried about as they are 5 weeks and about 3 inches long and still fit on my palm when they should be about 6 inches long and wrecking my furniture

ILTS no, don;t want to ignore you . tell us what you're feeling!

You know TJuice I am completely in the same boat? just can?t talk about it anymore? don?t want to think about it anymore? Even told my DH ? if the insurance didn?t cover our blood work and we couldn?t find out if anyone of us was a carrier of some gene that was causing our babies to have chromo problems and mc ? I would be ok with just having our DS? Maybe it?s me trying to play mental games and ?protect? myself?

Actually, maybe not? We?ve been spending a lot of time with our DS. I think I mentioned to you girls that at the age of 19 month he isn?t really saying any words. So he was diagnosed with speech development delay that is secondary to sensory hypersensitivity (tactile in his case). We?ve started with an occupational therapist 2 weeks ago, today is our 3rd session? and I think she is helping . He isn?t saying anything but is starting to want to talk. So we are so excited?.

But on a flip side ? we?re worried that he might have a dx that for whatever reason his evaluation team either didn?t tell us or didn?t feel they could confirm since he is so young (many behavioral/ development disorders don?t get diagnosed until a bit later in childhood). So knowing me, the analytical mind, I am Google ing things like ?dyspraxia? and stuff? I am starting to drive myself insane? honestly.

Yea gods Starlight! What a shocking story.

If anyone has to go/has been to Nottingham Queens Med, it's a different story. Well, it was for me anyway. When I turned up last week after having a big bleed in the car park, they got me some paper knickers (most comfy actually!) and provided pads too.

Still feeling rubbish, still bleeding quite a bit, still passing clots (sorry if TMI).

Don't feel like eating much other than choccy (feel justified as someone mentioned national choccy week!).

Had to stop myself looking in the baby books to see what bean would have looked like this week. It was my little ritual on a Monday.

I seem to be rather grumpy, and I don't think poor DH knows quite what to do. I'm trying hard to be nice, honest!

I actually went into the outside world today, after the cat decided he had a wee problem (bless). Went to the vets, two injections and a bill later and he seems to be feeling better

I am dreading going back on market. I don't feel like being all smiley. If anyone makes any sort of comment like "don't worry, it's so common" or "you'll get pg again soon" or "well, it wasn't a baby yet" I may lose my rag. I have had the latter comment from someone who should have known better. Grrrr!

Hey ho.

DH starts his cancer treatment again on Thursday. Hopefully it will just be 3 weeks this time, but it's going to be a much bigger dose than before. Fingers crossed they sort it this time.

Big hugs and gooey cakes to everyone.

Grinningbee

Katend thats such good news your DS is showing improvement already. What is DX though?

Grinningbee everything crossed for your DH and his treatment.

Ronshar - so sorry. Hope you get the scan to confirm either way for sure.

ILTS - sorry to hear about your kittens. Mus be hard work hand rearing too - not too much sleep for you at the moment I guess.

Starlight - what a horrible experience - the last thing you need when you're having such an upsetting time is having to track down toilet paper etc. Hope you're going to complain.

Katie - welcome to you, sorry about your mc, and hope you have lots of luck ttc.

ALBS - I would have thought there must be some antibiotics safe to take when pregnant, as there are some that are ok to take when bf. But I don't think anti histamines are reccomended at all. Just chat to the dr, and see what they suggest. Are the ear infections unbearable?

TJuice - sounds like you had a fab time - how long did you go for - certainly sounds like you did us proud with your cake scoffing. And Paris has to be the perfect place for a proposal.

My good news is that I got a BFN when peed on the boots stick. So if the doctor knew what he was talking about (and I'm not entirely convinced) then that means my mc is complete and I won't have to have any interfering. Phew - don't fancy staying in hospital, even for a few hours, if I can help it. So does anyone know if this sounds correct - that a negative test is definitely proof there's nothing left? I don't want to get some awful infection weeks down the line.

Claire - dx is diagnosis.

Grinningbee - sorry you're still feeling awful. I just feel like eating chocolate too, weirdly. Can't be bothered with normal food much. Will soon be the size of a house. Even avoiding gym, as last time i went I told the gym instructor I was pg, and it turned out she was too, but about 3 weeks behind me, so not telling anyone. So don't feel like going back and saying actually I'm not anymore. Might just burst into sobs or something, I'm very teary still.
Good luck to your dh GB - is he having chemo?

I think all the hormones from the m/c are finally catching up with me. I've turned jekyll and hyde one minute im cuddling dp next hes every bastard under the sun whats wrong with me??? i think im having some sort of mental breakdown or its PMT or its......

no, im not saying it lol im setting myself up for a big fall

splishsplosh - are you having a scan to confirm everything is gone. I had one 2 weeks after my mc was diagnosed, when I had the scan I had had no bleeding for 3 days but they could tell me there was still some left up there but it was less than 2mm so was not a worry and it would come out and it did.

grinningbee - best of luck to your DH

katend - I think you are being a normal worried mummy x

Just posted this on the ttc thread thought I would post it here as it's made me cry

Just been searching old messages found my announcement for the BFP with the one I lost

but found my thread on the live test I did with DD2 (It's called waiting for the Clearblue digital display to clear so I can retest, I messed the first one up, second one was BFP

also found my first ever post on MN 12th Jan 2004 just after I had my first scan with DD1 (at 9 weeks suspected mc) I was saying I had seen my baby wriggling on the screen, that little thing is now a 3 year old madam!

I feel all fuzzy and tearful now.

katend - knowledge is power but google can make you go a bit potty. i total know what you're doing, but really, there's probably no need to worry at all. if they didn't say anything, why assume it, i suppose. anyway, i think your ds sounds really cool (talking is over-rated anyway!) seriously, i really hope he's fine, and that you can just relax and enjoy him. you have the best attitude. I just can't wait for my own

spooky - that is so sad but so very sweet at the same time. i dare not search for my old messages. wasn't that long ago, but i honestly feel like a different person. bit dramatic maybe, but it was such a bittersweet summer . . .

ilts not only could you be pmt-ish, post-mc-ish or up the duff, you're knackered as well. its hardly surprising that the inner bitch-queen (that we all experience, okay, i'll just speak for myself) is about. do the test already? or are you still waiting til Thursday?

splishsplash - i had the whole gym dilemma too, having just had a new workout programme designed for my pregnant status. i kind of took each one of those situations step-by-step as part of the process. It was hard saying "by the way, it didn't work out for me this time, and i lost my baby last week", but each time i felt a bit stronger, in a weird way. i had to do it for the gym bloke, a yoga teacher (who had been a bit nervy about the pg anyway) and another astanga yoga teacher who coincidentally had also just mc-ed in her second trimester when i told her. i did shed a few tears during my yoga workouts but it gets better and the exercise helps.

not that i have done any since i moved flats. i have a really big gym near me now, and one close to my office, plus a new yoga center on the cycle ride home. but i can't seem to get into it at the moment. i will pack my stuff tomorrow and try and do something. (yeah right)

TJuice - the tears weren't for the one I had lost I knew about that so to speak I was checking testing dates but the other two they were happy tears, it seems strange that a test saying Pregnant, writing it on an internet chat forum along with your thoughts and experience of pregnancy and the birth then you have the most wonderful little person in the world, reading those posts transports you back to that time.

I guess I'm trying to say that when it all goes right it's the best feeling ever and I suppose we have to hang on to that. But you are so right you do change, I've lost my naivity that I can get pregnant and have a baby at the end. Sometimes I think I have two why go through the bloody ttc heartache then the whole pregnancy/birth worry thing again, I'm just being greedy, stick with two!

Oh I don't know I'm rambling

woohoo I think AF may be on her way! I have bought a thermometer and took my temp this morning but in the 2ww thread they recommended a one that goes to .00 so will go get one of those from Boots today. I have my OPK's all ready, and I'm raring to go!

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck....

i just got a faint bfp......

well i think it was.....

there is a line there and i took it 5 minutes ago.....

cant be right.....

nope im imagining it.......

ok im gonna test again in 2 days, ignore all of this and ill try again on thursday

iliketosleep Yeah! How fantastic, not so invisible now!! Look forward to hearing that you have a darker line on Thursday or maybe this is enough reason to treat yourself to a digital clearblue test?

Sorry I just dropped in to this tread to see about the disgraceful hospital. It is an outrage mad me very . Then my face turned to to read iliketosleep's news.

I had two chemical pregnancies jun and sept. They call it very early mc and i feel a little disrespectful for those who lost babies later on as I only kept mine for 5 wks. I've found comments on here very interesting so may come back later as have to collect DD from pre-school now.

Fingers crossed for you ilts x

ILTS - fingers crossed for you!

Just got my first AF after mc this morning. Feel a bit down as I was secretly hoping to get pg straightaway but at least this way I know everything is working as it should be and I can start a new cycle on CD1. I'm also going away for a hen weekend on Friday so at least this way I can drink and eat anything I like. I just hope AF doesn't last for too long!

Hope everybody else is OK.

i'm not convinced to be honest

i did the test and it was bfn after a minute, then a streak of pink dye quickly went through the test and as it disappeared there was a line. Think it may be a duff test

Wait a couple of days and try a clear blue digital - no room for lack of clarity there