TTC #1, cycle 13 and fed up! Whose with me?

[Theawkwardblonde]

Hello. So AF arrived yesterday which means I'm officially on cycle 13 of TTC. I'm a healthy 28 year old with husband whose 33. We've had 2 chemical pregnancies in the time we've been actively trying. We are just waiting on our dates for blood tests and SA for husband.

Needless to say I'm bloody fed up! Had 3 friends announce pregnancy news in the last week, and one friend is due in 4 weeks. TTC is definitely starting to take its toll on both of us and the realisation that something may be wrong is starting to sink in.
Who else is having similar? Please feel free to share/rant!

Have you had/are you waiting for a scan of your follicles too? It is very daunting yeah, but it’s good that you know so you didn’t wait years and years longer. I don’t think people realise how stressful it all is. Signing yourself off is probably a good plan.

@thislittlebird I had a scan on the NHS in early Sept that diagnosed my fibroid, a private scan in November which measured the fibroid properly. She did look at my ovaries but I can't remember how many follicles there were. I'll apparently have another scan when I'm on the list to start IVF.

@thislittlebird no I don't think people do understand what this is like. My sister, friends, and DH's friends and sibling all decided to have babies and were pregnant a few months later. Some even had unintentional pregnancies. We can't really speak to them about it as they have no idea what we're going through.

Do they think the fibroid will be a problem for you @CurbsideProphet? I had one too but she said it was small and not in the way of anything.

Yeah, my friends were all the same. It hurts tbh. Hard to deal with. My friend seems to get it more (instead of telling me to relax) now I’ve told her DH has some mixed results he needs to work on. But still, I don’t have any friends who have been in this tedious, depressing boat.

BBC did a news feature last night on this convenient street full of pregnant women in Bristol that nearly pushed me over the edge . Decided to watch Rhod Gilbert’s documentary to balance things out (it was really good, would recommend).

Had a letter through this morning with update re waiting times from my referral to gynae. Looks like services have been closed in my area. Only just re opening and months before they’ll be back at full capacity. No indication of how long it will take for an initial appointment. Feeling a bit flat. Think we may look into going private at least for a scan. It’s just so frustrating.

@Rosie189 sorry honey! We're going private for my antral follicle scan and will prob go private for ivf too. We still get our nhs round funded if we have no more than 2 private rounds. So that's our plan now. Hopefully our nhs appointment on the 22nd goes ahead and I can give the private clinic my amh results and Dh gets his repeat SA. Then once I have the scan with the clinic we get our consultation and get going once they come up with a plan! Appointments are booked for early March. So if you can afford it I'd defo look at private. Nhs wait times are through the roof! I was told 3-6 months just for the funding approval and a further 6-9 months to actually start! I'm 35 next month, I just can't bear to wait that long...

@notyetamumbuttrying thanks. Im going to speak to DH properly today. I think we might go private for initial investigations. Then wait and see how things go over the next 6 months (and save like crazy) if we’re still not pregnant then that will be us at the 2 year mark if it’s not looking promising with nhs we might bite the bullet and go private. If I’ve had no update from nhs in another 3-4 months will contact gp and see if they’ll refer straight to fertility, fairly sure they won’t do it till near the 2 year make anyway.

I think we could afford private it but it would really effect DH giving up offshore so unless this working from home thing can become long term I’m not sure how we will deal with that but one problem at a time. I’m in Scotland. Rules look to be that we could still get nhs treatment if private unsuccessful but have to use all frozen embryos privately first.

@thislittlebird my fibroid is a bit of an issue in that it is close to my left ovary, but it's nowhere near the endometrium which would would have been a concern. It's definitely medium sized, not small.
DH has recorded the Rhod Gilbert documentary. He wants to watch it on his own. I'll encourage him to watch it soon if you thought it was good.

@Rosie189 what a nightmare for you. I didn't realise things are so different in Scotland. We needed 1 year of ttc, not 2.

@notyetamumbuttrying the wait times are awful aren't they 😬 I was 35 before Christmas and really feeling the worry. My AMH is low as it is 😬

@Rosie189 so sorry to hear that. I hope you can get sorted with a private scan 🤞🏻

@Rosie189 what did Dh say? Hope you've come to a decision on it all now x
@CurbsideProphet we've still not watched the docu. I did say to Dh but he said no at the time. Will suggest it again tonight and see what he says! Might suggest he watches it without me, but I'm always here 😂
Yeah the wait times are so bad at the moment! Are you actually on the waiting list for ivf yet?
@Theawkwardblonde hope you're well lovely ☺️

@Rosie189 are you with barclays at all? their personal loans tend to be quite good - I sometimes think that's the route we'd take if we need private ivf. Interest rates are decent and you can then spread the cost over 3 years or whatever instead of killing yourself trying to come up with all the savings up front. Just a thought!

@notyetamumbuttrying yes we're on the list. Our CCG refers to Care Fertility who run the fertility service at the Countess of Chester hospital (35+ miles away 😬). The Countess of Chester have capped NHS patient numbers to only 15 per month. Unsure when we're starting. Possibly in a few months. Care Fertility asked me to contact PALS so we're waiting to hear the results of negotiations...

@CurbsideProphet ah yes, remember now. What a pain for you! Is private an option for you? X

@notyetamumbuttrying he’s happy with the plan. To be fair I think he’d be happy to go for ivf straight away where as I’m open to waiting a little longer. He opened up a little bit about how much he wants this too. I think he’s definitely feeling a bit stressed about it all.
@CurbsideProphet they will start investigations but don’t think you can start any fertility treatment before 2 years (I may be wrong) at least that’s what my gp has said to me.

@Juno231 we’re actually fairly lucky and have a semi decent amount of savings already. Had hoped to use for new car and an extension or for making a change in work/maternity leave easier but all those things were mainly for life when we had kids so might as well put it towards hopefully actually having them.

@notyetamumbuttrying we're prepared to pay once we've had our NHS round. We would prefer our NHS round first, so we don't completely drain our savings on the first go...

@Rosie189 it would be worth checking, as your GP may not know / may interpret the policy for themselves. I'm not sure how it works in Scotland. There's a website that you can use to search fertility rights. I'll check if it so covers Scotland...

@Rosie189 fertilitynetworkuk.org/trying-to-conceive/nhs-funding/scotland/

[quote CurbsideProphet]@thislittlebird my fibroid is a bit of an issue in that it is close to my left ovary, but it's nowhere near the endometrium which would would have been a concern. It's definitely medium sized, not small.
DH has recorded the Rhod Gilbert documentary. He wants to watch it on his own. I'll encourage him to watch it soon if you thought it was good.[/quote]
That’s good @CurbsideProphet, glad it’s not too obstructive.

Yeah I really enjoyed he RG programme. He did a great job of making it funny and also sensitive.

@CurbsideProphet I think cause we’re unexplained at the moment we’d have to wait to the two year mark for treatment. Although obviously if I could get my scan it may something may show up. Going to contact private clinic this week then will look at getting back in touch with GP after that.

@Rosie189 good he's opened up and is happy with the plan. Mine asked me today when we will start if we went private. I was like erm the appointments are booked in so as long as it's short protocol we'll start at my next period after then. Would be 30th March.
Good luck with contacting the clinic and your gp!
@CurbsideProphet yeah makes sense! A few months is not a bad wait time. I hope you find out soon!
@thislittlebird I still need to watch it and was going to suggest watching it last night but chickened out 🙈. Will suggest it Friday as we're both off then.
Cd2 today and feeling particularly meh 😕

We haven't watched the Rhod Gilbert yet. DH is quite sad and emotional so I don't like to suggest it.
@notyetamumbuttrying I keep reminding myself we will likely end up paying for at least one round anyway, so it's better to hold my nerve now for our NHS round. We might get to start in March 🤞🏻

@CurbsideProphet ooh March will be great if you do! We're looking more n more likely to go private so if we do we should be starting end of March all going well!

Hello ladies-been reading all your updates. Been a bad OP as been on a hellish set of shifts this week..
No updates on me. AF hasn't arrived after my random red bleed on CD 24, although got usual light brown spotting so no doubt will be on her way. Due in 2 days. Paranoid the red bleed may have been implantation and that I'll have another chemical. I feel like absolute rubbish and have for a week now. Absolutely exhausted. Just been coming in from nights and sleeping right through to the next shift. Off food too. It's not covid (tested neg). Just really out of sorts. I'm a regular exerciser and only had one workout in the last week too. Trying not to stress, just want proper AF to arrive now.
Hope everyone is well and staying safe!

Booked private scan and bloods for next week. DH will have another private SA done. Then booked consultation for mid March with a private dr. I’m mainly terrified about taking this next step but hoping it’s a positive one.