TTC #1, cycle 13 and fed up! Whose with me?

[Theawkwardblonde]

Hello. So AF arrived yesterday which means I'm officially on cycle 13 of TTC. I'm a healthy 28 year old with husband whose 33. We've had 2 chemical pregnancies in the time we've been actively trying. We are just waiting on our dates for blood tests and SA for husband.

Needless to say I'm bloody fed up! Had 3 friends announce pregnancy news in the last week, and one friend is due in 4 weeks. TTC is definitely starting to take its toll on both of us and the realisation that something may be wrong is starting to sink in.
Who else is having similar? Please feel free to share/rant!

DH got his results back and all ok. In one way it’s a relief but feeling quite down that it’s likely me with the issue.

I’m in the same boat @Rosie189. We’re still waiting for an email with a breakdown of his results (hopefully tomorrow) but they said his SA was fine.

@thislittlebird I’ve booked another drs appt. hoping I’ll get a referral or at least a scan sorted as not had that yet. Have never got any figures for results just told normal or not. Although they did phone me really quickly (before I thought results would be back) when my day 21 showed no ovulation. Not helping I’m 10dpo and my spotting has started was almost feeling confident as last month it started at 7dpo.

Is the spotting a new development? @Rosie189 you might have mentioned this and I’ve forgotten.

Did the doctor tell you? Glad they called quickly. I got told by the receptionist it was ok and I didn’t follow up for ages which was an error I won’t be making again because my day 21 was borderline. Booking again tomorrow hopefully to repeat the nhs tests and then I have my private transvaginal scan and AMH blood test on Thursday.

Sorry @thislittlebird It was a receptionist that told me too. Although the dr has been really good I’ve passed a few questions via reception and they’ve been great at getting answers. Also squeezed me in on the 23rd dec for 3rd set of day 21 bloods (although they were actually day 30 lol). It was a bit frustrating though as first bloods showed no ovulation as did 2nd although cycles are slightly long/irregular so think were mistimed but they kept suggesting repeating them.

Spotting has been since June. So realitively new. Thought it was an implantation bleed at first as never use to have it. Normally only 3/4 days before period is due but occasionally much earlier. Concerned I’m maybe having short luteal phase.

I think I’m going to see what happens with referral but tempted to look at private assessment too.

Relatable @Rosie189, I’ve not had spotting but since october my periods have been much lighter which is adding extra anxiety into the mix. Stress can play havoc with us, I think.

Sounds like you’ve got a good doctor. Mine just vanished and either she’s working in hospitals to help out with covid or she’s on mat leave, no idea. Two new ones appeared who are fine but the system is just really messy right now but having a good GP is a start.

See how your referral goes. I only booked private because of my age, I would not rush quite so much if it weren’t for that.

TMI alert but the grapefruit juice might be working for my EWCM. I’ve had a huge lack of it recently but maybe seems like a bit more from today, will see if it continues.

Been MIA on this thread soo apologies ladies. Hope you're all keeping well.

@Rosie189 @thislittlebird I never used to have spotting pre period, but since my last chemical
I spot around 12dpo. It's very odd but my consultant wasn't concerned 🤷🏼‍♀️ I still find it odd, and my periods aren't as heavy but bloods show I'm still ovulating etc.
@Rosie189 hope you get sorted soon. I went private for initial bloods etc but just had my referral put in today with nhs for scans.
@CurbsideProphet hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Yeah I appear to be probably ovulating ok @Theawkwardblonde (although not 100% retesting next week) but the lighter periods do worry me. It’s very unlike me, I just hope it’s stress I guess.

So my husband requested his SA results from the GP. He was also told “normal” by a receptionist as I was (wrongly) and it seems that it’s not quite normal. They told him to come to the surgery to pick up his results and it’s just a piece of paper saying “normal” within range count, “normal” morphology also within range, but “below normal” motility. No numbers included??? He called them up and the receptionist has since told him that this is all the info on the system and they don’t provide more detail. Then she called back again and told him she does have it and will email it tomorrow.

@Theawkwardblonde my periods also changed after CP, but HCPs all just say my periods are normal 🤷🏻‍♀️
I'm just the same really. AF due this week. May then be off for more bloods / scans / learn how to inject myself. Or instead told to wait until next period.
We've heard from another couple that our CCG was delayed in responding to the clinic with payment , so we're expecting to be told to call again on my next period.

DH is taking it all badly. His friends all have children. Every single one of them. His brother will become a dad in spring / summer. If IVF doesn't work for us he won't have a single friend he can spend time with (after covid) and not think about how they're going home to their children and he's not.

I know we're supposed to try and be optimistic and not catastrophise etc. We're still doing normal things like getting through our working hours, watch telly, do the housework, go for walks. There's just the undercurrent of what's to come. The one thing we agree on is that if IVF doesn't work we will change our lifestyle and try to move to the proper countryside.

@thislittlebird your GP surgery really sounds awful 😔 A receptionist should not be reading out SA results. Did you know that you can request the full results from the hospital where the SA took place? I only knew this because my DH is NHS. He got his direct from Access to Records, rather than wait for the GP.

@CurbsideProphet honestly they’re really getting me down. They should have offered us an appointment to discuss the results, not just hand them out on the phone. But when they told us both “normal” or “ok” in the summer we just took it as that and carried on trying. Only when no bfp had arrived months later did I decide to find out the specifics. It’s been a thoroughly awful experience with this and my ongoing mystery skin condition that they refused to refer me for for a year (still haven’t). I’m so tired of this shoddy treatment but don’t know where else to go because I’m worried about getting a worse experience not better whilst covid is ongoing if I move surgeries.

I guess on the plus side we’re speaking to the private consultant on Monday and can bring the results up. But I’m really so done with this GP surgery.

It’s hard to stay optimistic, I get it. I don’t know whether to just keep trying if our results are ok or get help. Probably shouldn’t worry until I get our results from the tests this week and have had the consultation.

I should add I didn’t know that about where you can get results but hopefully they’ll send them tomorrow. Sigh.

@Theawkwardblonde nice to hear the spotting is hopefully nothing to be concerned about.

@thislittlebird sorry that you’re having so much trouble with your dr surgery.

@CurbsideProphet keeping everything crossed that things work out for you!

Finally getting the breakdown of results today I hope and I got my first ever peak on my clear blue fertility monitor

It’s vaguely exciting because OPKs never worked for me but this has on month one which is great.

Oh and we don’t have any single friends or childless friends either @CurbsideProphet. We had two and then they both announced they were expecting in March and May so now we have none, which sucks.

@thislittlebird yay to the monitor showing you peak, that's good! when's your consultation booked for or does that get booked in once the results are bk?

I have my AMH and tv ultrasound today @notyetamumbuttrying, then the consultation on Monday which is good, not too much time thinking about it, then nhs 21 day bloods redo to get an nhs referral next week.

What do you guys with more knowledge think of these SA results from July? We were told “normal”, presumably because only one category is especially poor but I’m not any sort of expert on SA results. Going to raise it on Monday with the clinic and try to book him another SA at the GP tomorrow.

Volume 3.78
PH 7.7
Total sperm number 180
Sperm concentration 48
Progressive motility 14
Vitality 38
Morphology (normal) 3.9

There’s clearly a lot of dead and poor moving sperm here so it’s confusing to me that they think this is relatively normal, I can only assume the quantity balances it out somewhat?

@thislittlebird his motility was the same as my Dh's but they would have said normal due to the high count! Mine only had 5ml per ml and terrible morphology too. 2.3% so because only one parameter was low and count is most important they told you normal. I think they look at 3 mainly, count, motility and morphology. Motility should be above 32% I believe. I think vitality should be above 50%. Good luck with scans and blood test today!

Just spoken to my dr and getting a referral to gynaecologist then from there we would get referred to fertility department no idea how long waiting times will be though.

Ok I had a really good experience today with the private tests and the nurse was lovely. Really relieved it wasn’t bad and reassured I guess. Still need to speak to the consultant on Monday so fingers crossed they won’t ruin my positivity but so far it’s good, I have 11 follicles on the right and 17 on the left, womb looks good, and a little fibroid that they’re not worried about. I just said this on another thread I’m on but perimenopause is one of my big worries because my mother claims hers was early so it’s good to know that doesn’t look too likely. They said AMH should line up with follicle count roughly. Hopefully it be a good talk with the doctor on Monday too.

Thanks for the good luck wishes @notyetamumbuttrying, and I think I’m going to get him a new semen analysis booked in. See what that says.

Hope you get more info on your referral soon @Rosie189

@thislittlebird so pleased you had a good experience that's great! All sounds positive 👍🏾
Yeah get him a new one! They should have one every 3 months to check improvement. We're month 4 since his last one so it'll be 5 months before he gets a second one. I want to see marked improvement or else 😅
@Rosie189 glad things are moving forward for you too

@thislittlebird that's good you had a positive experience! Let us know how you get on with the doctor on Monday.

@Rosie189 been catching up on posts. Excellent you've had a referral done. I was told referral times in our area could be 6 months, however my gp referred me last week, and I've had my NHS letter through a few days later for an appointment in March, which isn't too bad at all. Fingers crossed you will get a quick referral!

@Theawkwardblonde I really hope my appointment is soon too! Glad it’s not too long a wait for you.

I’ve been struggling a lot recently. I’ve not been in a great place mentally with everything. Feeling pretty low and frequently quite tearful. Wondering about maybe looking into some counselling. Think I need something to help me deal with it. Has anyone else needed/done similar?

@Rosie189 I'm really sorry you're struggling 💐💐 If it's any consolation at all I'm feeling the same and so is my DH. We can access counselling through the IVF service so we will likely do that once we know what's happening timeline wise (unsure if it will help tbh but I'll try). Do you have a helpful GP you could talk to? I know there is self referral IAPT for talking therapies , but the wait might be long. Would you consider private talking therapy?

I don't think people understand what a complete drain and misery it is to be ttc without success and to know there is an issue. Plus to be trying to carry on with work, keeping up with normal life and necessary chores, and managing this worrying way we're all living with covid...
I keep reminding myself that this is a horrible situation, so it's actually normal to feel like I'm struggling.

We're in limbo right now. The clinic told me last week that the hospital will only let them treat 15 NHS patients per month. They can safely treat 30. The wait list is building, so we're looking at treatment in May. The clinic asked me to complain to PALS, as that's the only way to challenge the hospital and start treatment sooner. They think I have a good chance of winning. They want everyone to complain to PALS, but doesn't sound like many other patients are doing so.
I sent my email on Friday and PALS did acknowledge it.
It's exhausting. I've signed myself off work for 7 days as I can't deal with other people's emotions on the phone while I'm also dealing with this. I should get a decision this week 😬🤞🏻

Thanks @Theawkwardblonde @notyetamumbuttrying!

Appointment was pretty positive and it was good to speak to a doctor on video rather than just a phone call with my GP. My AMH was 36 so that’s in line with my high follicle count. They’re happy with the womb lining and said I could be mildly PCO(S) when I raised it but didn’t seem very worried by that.

She was a little more concerned by my DH as said his SA wasn’t great and he needs to redo it. Going to arrange that this week but they said we might need help if it doesn’t improve because natural is not great odds with his motility. He was recommended to take Impryl we will get the SA redone and carry on trying for a couple or few more months naturally for now and then go from there. Maybe I’ll decide to speed it up further if I get bored after another month of this or when I see some more iffy SA results. The overall picture wasn’t awful though, it was ok so that’s good. But we have a plan at least and a chance to save some more money before we head down the assisted route.

You aren’t alone @Rosie189, it’s really, really hard and people don’t understand the struggle. If you feel you want some help definitely look into a therapist of some kind like @CurbsideProphet suggested. Our IVF clinic offers counselling which I will take up once we start the process if I feel the need but will wait until it gets a bit more real first.

@thislittlebird having a plan is half the battle isn't it! Glad you have one in place now. Was his motility 14%? I know someone had the same as my Dh but his count and morphology was also low!

So we have a plan in place too now. Not sure if I updated this chain but the nhs hospital I'm with has crazy wait times now, like 9-14 months to even start treatment 😱 so I contacted a private clinic today and I'm booked in for an antral follicle scan on the 8th March and a consultation on the 10th. So we'll still have our nhs appointment on the 22nd feb to get my amh checked and his repeat SA done, and the private clinic will take those results! If they put me on a short protocol we could be starting as soon as the 29th March when my March/April period is due! 😃