Disclaimer: Psycho B*tches - Sep Bus 16

[Juno231]

June BFPs - 24
July BFPs - 10
August BFPs - 18

September testing dates:
@mrsbear1122 - August 31st
@Juno231 - September 4th
@LV1987- September 4th
@franklydear September 4th
@frolicmum - September 4th
@florence13 - September 6th
@2020mission - September 8th
@mrsi2020 - September 12th
@vil10 - September 13th
@notyetamumbuttrying - September 14th
@Katao - September 19th
@Laceymermaid - September 29th
@minster2012 - October 9th

creeps in after hearing sex talk

@blodyn91 that's fucked up 😂 I could never

@Minster2012 that does sound sexy! I don't think anyone has asked me to anything too out there. I mean one guy wanted to tie me up and leave me all day until I weed myself? I mean the way he spoke about it turned me on but we hadn't even had anything yet we just chatted at the park sometimes while our kids played years back 😂 anyway I never went there.

Probably being asked to spit in my exs mouth lol which I obliged 😂
Oh and another guy ate me out on my period I never asked for it and I never spoke to him again. How did he really expect me to respect that shit? Lol so yeah never went there again, he knew I was on too and I was like urm no but he was pretty adamant. So I thought well fuck it I'll enjoy and never contact you again 😂

Haha @Missgoldilocks some top notch stories there!! I can't think of anything other than anal which isn't that risqué these days lol!

Ha ha love it! I knew this would draw ppl back out!!

@blodyn91 I don't think I could do that sober anyway but A NUMBER if times I've weed myself drunk anyway in front of DH if he like it he might as well just stand near 😂🤣he's a good un really 🤣

@Missgoldilocks those are fab! Bit of kink n run 🤷‍♀️why not eh like you say, might as well enjoy being munched out then fuck off! But the first ones a bit weird..."yeah hi, can I tie you up til you wee yourself?!" Errrrrr no?! Who are you???? Brilliant

@notyetamumbuttrying there are some Mn Threads where anal is VERY much still the worst thing ever

@Minster2012 I have been weed on myself by my OH😂 we were messing around and did it just as a joke and no idea what happened next 😂. @Missgoldilocks I thought spitting in mouths is normal ?😳

@lucyrp normal 😂 if a man spat in my mouth I'd fucking knock him out loooool but I'll spit in his 😂😂😂 calm

@notyetamumbuttrying lool I know I was thinking anal but I haven't done that in ages anyway all this Ttc lark 😂 waste not want nor lol anyway my partner hurts too much, now the person I was with before him woooiii that anal game was sooooo good🤤🤤🤤 🤫 hahahaha

@Minster2012 you can always draw me out with sex talk 🤪 yeah he was weird but soooo sexy he was like 6 foot 5 half chinese and half Jamaican! Exotic much, I wouldn't have minded being tied up lol we got into the convo by him getting horny at the fact I bruise easily and he saw a bruise on my leg loooool he might have killed me ffs

Yeay fun chat to lighten the mood 🥳

Wee seems to be a common theme, my ex asked me to wee on him too......I didnt oblige, it may have been a turn on for him but it definitely wasnt for me!

I had a guy want me to lie on the edge of the bed legs open while he popped open a bottle of champagne on me and licked it off. Was not expecting the champagne to come out with such force felt like my vag had been blown off it was like someone turning on a hose full power down there! 🙈 That was definitely a never again moment! Seemed like such a tame request but by god was it sore.....and a waste of champagne in my eyes!

@Minster2012 ha well it is a bit uncomfortable esp if they're a big boy 🥴
@Missgoldilocks I've not even done anal with my husband and I know he wants to. Defo not happening whilst ttc, I need all his sperm in my vag considering they don't know where to go anyway 😆 stupid things 😂
@DKDK123 wow that's an odd one 😂 I feel so boring lol!
Anyone shagged a celeb? I have! He's a bit grim so I won't say who but he's mega famous now. A hint is fat comedian/actor, now a tv host in America.

@notyetamumbuttrying 😲

@Minster2012 go girl, upping the mood around here 😉
@Missgoldilocks 😂😂 sneaks back in for the sex talk
I'm boring, no celebrity shagging and can't think of anything weird I've been asked to do....clearly vanilla attracts vanilla 😂

@notyetamumbuttrying nooooo you can't do that you have to tell us now!!! I'm on the edge of my seat hahaha

And this is exactly why I love this thread!!🤣🤣🤣 actually pissing myself here!!! I can't think of anything weird that I've been asked to do! Mines just the usual dressing up & using toys! With one of my Ex's before I had kids, we used to have what we called 'Sexy Sundays' where we'd just have a shag fest all day, mixed with toys, food & massages! I'm quite gutted that I can't actually do anal, because I know my OH would love that. I've only done it once before when I was pissed out my face with an ex. I've not been able to do it since, it just hurts toooooo much🙈 any tips ladies??? It doesn't help that I did actually have to have an operation once on my little bum hole🙉 I had what they called a chronic anal fissure & they had to put me to sleep & take some of my ass muscle away because it had ceased up! Don't ask! I know it sounds weird but I'm actually telling the truth🙈
@notyetamumbuttrying spill spill spill.....!!!!

@DKDK123 🤣🤣 I hope the cork didn't fly into your foof!

@Chlo2701 I think it takes about 3 tries to ease into it 🤣🤣 the more you tense the more it hurts so practice some yoga breathing and have him pleasure you at the same time 😜

We haven't got any sex toys, Ive asked and he is like no 🙄 work in progress.

Also we saved anal for AF week during ttc 🤣🤣 (not every month mind)

@Minster2012 OMG so feeling an Oreo brownie! I've been SO healthy the OST few weeks and we're having a Chinese tonight, I feel guilty but sorry not sorry! Oreo choc for pud is healthy right?

Oh the riske sex thing... just the usual! Although we had sex in the sea in a VERY Muslim country where just holding hands is illegal. I count that as a personal win from a secrecy point of view 🤣

@Chlo2701 100%! I swear if I catch this month 😂

@Franklydear that sounds awful! Your poor ds and poor you :( so traumatic.

@lucyrp really hope it doesn't get to that for you!

@LBee2020 sorry about af :( I've heard that about Pregnacare too, dodgy isn't it.

@DKDK123 omg wee?! Is that a thing?? Why!

@notyetamumbuttrying I NEED TO KNOW.

@Chlo2701 so sorry to hear about your loss it’s horrible. I feel you. But like you I too just wanted to get going again after. I’ve had my first full cycle and should get af tomorrow. Bfn 12dpo which was awful as I thought we would get lucky quickly but if af comes we just go again. Hope your ok. Im on another thread ttc after mc - September 2020 thread 13. Another bunch of lovely ladies if you want to talk about anything miscarriage related. They are VERY open about things x

@Chlo2701 it always hurts but it's best if you're eases into it. Honestly the only thing that works for me is poppers and alcohol 😂😂 get some poppers they will relax you something wicked and it's easier to slide it in that way!! Lots and lots of anal lube and get some toys to play with before hand x

@Runnergirl1 funnily enough I found that thread & put it on my watch list! I've not read it today, but will have a catch up on it tomorrow, because tonight I'm just off out with my best friend to a comedy night! It's very much needed & good bloody timing! We're going to watch the Scummy Mummies!! They're a brilliant act! One of them split with their husband in lockdown so no doubt she'll be making jokes about that tonight! I bet you were gutted when you got a BFN as everybody says you're suppose to be more fertile after a miscarriage. Unfortunately I don't think that'll be the case for me either as took me 15months just to get pregnant this time🤦‍♀️ & being nearly 36 I can't really afford to wait another 15months to get pregnant & then lose again, as time isn't on my side🙄 why do us women have to have a biological clock! Honestly men get off soooo fucking lightly🤬
@blodyn91 I reckon I've attempted it about 10 times🙈 right I'll try again..... breathe & I better get the old bullet out, I love that thing! Also I think I need to get pissed beforehand as well!! If I manage anal successfully again, you ladies will be the first to know🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Missgoldilocks I got the anal lube🙋‍♀️ I'm not kidding you it hurts soooo bad & my pain threshold is pretty good! I honestly think I have a really tight ass hole! No jokes! Just like my fanny!!🤣🤣 but I do think to myself.... how the hell can I do a big shit out my ass but can't take cock up there🤷‍♀️😆

I've even got anal beads & butt plugs! Even the smallest butt plug hurts!!! I am trying but just getting nowhere 🙈

@Newbie0818 poor me, I am ok now I think, D's doesn't know that happened, he asked once where the babies come out from and how, we were in the science museum, so I showed him, he said, that must have hurt, I am sorry, mum.
No kinks from me, so vanilla

@Katao haha 🤣 omg that pic!!
@Missgoldilocks I'm too scared to confirm or deny in case my name is ever identified and I get found out. I've always denied it as I was so embarrassed lol!
@Chlo2701 I defo don't recommend anal then, it hurts mostly!
@Newbie0818 you can wonder like the others lol!

@Missgoldilocks omg il take some spit in the mouth if I'm really turned on! 🤣😂

@DKDK123 omg the image I've got of you with thag champagne 😭😭🤣🤣 I can only imagine the force it came out with !

@notyetamumbuttrying omg it's defo him! I wouldn't be embarrassed lol. Funny men are attractive men eh 😂

@Chlo2701 sexy Sunday's sound like my kind of thing! 🍆 omfg I'm in tears reading your response to @Missgoldilocks 🤣🤣

@blodyn91 hell come round. My OH was the same and now he loves them ! Only certain times tho not all the time.

@Newbie0818 I really hope so!

@notyetamumbuttrying omg I wouldn't be embarrassed!!! I'm slightly attracted to james cordon and I have no idea why😂😂

So weird sex things for me, OH has weed on me also😂 and poured alcoholic beverages and food on me and licked it off, and gone down on me whilst I've been on my period🙄 other than that nothing out of the ordinary I don't think!

@Vil10 omg so glad I'm not the only one who's OH has weed on them 😂 pretty sure I squirted not long after the peeing on me so not sure what that says about me as a person ...😭🤣 my OH won't come anywhere near me when I'm on my period and even hates it when you're on your last few days of bleeding and it's like brown and hardly liquid he still cringes then!

I need a hand hold, some idiot came to me to tell me that the local threat level has been raised to yellow, worried me and freak me out, I research it, yellow is only up from no Covid, we must have been there for ages!
As you were, keep the kinky stories coming...

@notyetamumbuttrying 😂 I couldn't resist! It's so him. I wouldn't be embarrassed, he's definitely got something about him 😉

@Chlo2701 haha I'm the same, but I'm a firm believer that bums are an exit, not an entrance!

@Franklydear aw that's sweet. And hugs! It's ok, we'll get through it x

So the wee thing... they just literally stand there and pee on you?! I mean I can just about cope with my pup doing it by accident, let alone the love of my life 🤣 I wonder what the appeal is? It's all so interesting what different people are into. Like genuinely!