TTC after MC - August 2020 (Thread 11)

[VP91x]

Hi ladies 🥰

BFP list ❤️

@Hayleylou89
@1990EM
@Tink20058
@Dipsy77
@DBTJ
@SmileyT
@Niisa
@fafi
@2020wish
@Rebecca1992
@Beesy90
@Pugprincess
@IWM20
@HopeForRainbowbaby
@Lollol86

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@VP91x
@MichT4
@Hayley19835
@Mommybear05
@HE88
@Rainbowhope11
@Renna
@Diorissimo1985
@Rb486
@Wishingfornumber2
@Northernsoul90
@Jazper
@Bellabubble
@Firevie
@stayinghopeful92x
@chloedancer897
@MrsK21
@LKMH
@Happyvibes
@Bl0ndi3
@Lemondropsandgumdrops
@TJM123
@eclipsechips
@Will867

If anyone else would like to join please do xx

@MichT4 I’m so sorry to read your update! It makes me so angry reading about the NHS and apologies don’t mean to offend anyone but having been brought up in a country where the medical system is second to none I’m honestly appalled every time I see and hear things about the NHS. It seems their whole premise is one of let the bad things happen before you do anything about it. Premise in Austria is prevention so you don’t even get to the worst case scenario. It really seems in the UK that if you have the financial means you can get better care which is absolutely infuriating. I’m sorry for the rant which obv doesn’t help you. I do agree that if you can go private then look into it. Happy to send you the details of my private doctor in London if it helps! Sending you lots of. Ritual hugs! Don’t give up! Give yourself time to grief but then get back onto the positive side of things. It will happen but just in its own time! Xxx

Thanks @chloedancer897 @Firevie 🥰🥰

@Firevie couldn't agree more. You shouldn't have to go through such heartache to be given some support and help. It's really infuriating.

I just don't know what to do next but hopefully the GP will guide me. I feel like I should book some private tests anyway, but I need to be careful how far I go with the GP if I want to use my medical. I'll be quite upfront with him about that today

@MichT4 I'm so sorry hun, just be heartbreaking, even if you had a guy feeling we always hang on to that glimmer of hope don't we! Sending massive hugs & sticky baby dust xxx

Not much to update here, cd32 still no signs of af arriving, have that stretching pulling feeling in my tummy today again & the nausea and keep feeling like af is coming as it feels wet down there but when I check its not, cm hasn't even a touch of any colour, so blinking confusing!

@MichT4 totally with you on that. See what the GP says and be firm with him. And as ever, let me know if you ever want details of my doctor in London.
Sending you lots of hugs xxx

@MichT4 I’m so sorry to hear this update :( you have such strength. It’s crap we have to go through 3 losses to get any answers. Ask ur doctor to do the basic blood tests (full blood picture, coag, ESR, thyroid, bone profile, LFT, autoimmune screen and antiphospolipid test)

They can do all these blood tests no bother.

If it’s worth anything as you know I’ve had 3 losses and here I am progressing with this bean so it can and will happen. Don’t get up hope.

For those with pcos I thought I’d share some good news to help give u light. My friend just rang me telling me she was pregnant naturally on her own. She had two previous kids that took clomid and years of trying to get so she had her fertility appointment this year to get started on more clomid and check her ovaries and it was all cancelled due to covid. So she’s in complete disbelief this has happen and it shows it’s possible and can happen for u all! Please stay hopeful and loads of BFP dust ur way!!

@MichT4 I'm so sorry you have to go through this again. Did they have any answers as to why you got faint lines but it still progresses enough to form a sac?
I'm so angry that the nhs can treat you like that, why should you have to go through this 3 times and then wait to see someone, like @Firevie prevention should be more important.
I don't understand why they sent you away to come back for more tests today when it was showing as negative, why allow you to have some hope when they knew it wouldn't progress any further xx

@MichT4 I’m so sorry to hear what your going through. Seems awful that to have told you Tuesday with the bloods. I know you said your feeling sad but you seem to have quite a positive attitude about it all. Thankfully they have referred you? But here’s hoping you get your rainbow baby before you even get to that stage. Again so sorry? Sending lots of love x

@MichT4 I'm so sorry to hear this 😢😢 I also agree with @Firevie in that although the NHS is amazing at times there are also areas that are lacking - fertility and women's health seems to be one of those areas. It's crazy having to wait for this to happen before getting somewhere. I'm sending lots of love your way ❤️❤️ I'm glad you have finally got your referral and can hopefully now get the correct support and medical guidance that you need. You have shown so much amazing strength and positivity but do allow yourself time to be sad, I hope you get some rest and support at home. We are all here for you xx

Oh @MichT4 bless you my lovely! I am really gutted for you to have gone through the journey you have. Part of me wishes you had just got the BFN and then your glimmer of hope wouldn’t have been so deceiving and upsetting for you.

A huge silver lining - you are now referred to the specialist and have all the appropriate oversight.
Hopefully a bit of reassurance, my referral was pretty quick. My appointment was about 6 weeks after referral - and in that time I’ve had all bloods done in preparation for the appointment. So hopefully you’ll get a similar experience timing wise.

I would recommend speaking to your GP ASAP about the bloods as you will need to do them either at the beginning of your cycle, or CD22. So you will need to know ASAP for when you get CD1.

How are your cycles usually? Are they regular? Xxxx

@gizmo167 something tells me that your length of cycle & your increased CM could very well be a strong indicator of an upcoming BFP!!!! When was/is your AF due? How many DPO are you? Xxx

@gizmo167 @2020wish @Lollol86 @Runnergirl1 @Northernsoul90 @HappyVibes thank you girls. It's so lovely having your support. I'm having a rough day, not helped by my sisters advice of 'at least you know and maybe relax with it all for a bit'. I honestly don't think I've felt so alone, with OH at work and judgements like that.
I've told her I'm just not going to discuss it with her any more, I don't need her opinion and I don't want people knowing what we are doing really either. It's too personal and her words are hurting me. I am waiting for a call from my doc this afternoon.

@Lollol86 they couldn't really tell me anything. She just said not to worry and it would pass out with a bleed at some point. I don't think they have any answers to be honest.

@HappyVibes no they aren't particularly regular, and they are long. They were about 38 days before my second MC, so it feels like waiting forever. Today would be CD47, and without any signs of bleeding I have no idea when I'd have blood tests. I feel a fool for being positive after MC2 - I was either going to get pregnant or at least have my bloods. Now here I am with neither.

Really struggling today, I didn't expect it because I was already so certain it wasn't going to be ok. I'll get through it. I've just gone and bought a load of chocolate and cake xx

@MichT4 your sister really does say the wrong things but that's most likely because she really doesn't understand, like when people say things like it just want meant to be of it's just one of those things. When you are right at the point of going through a mc you just don't need to hear those things.
Definitely keep it all to yourselves now.
How is you do?
Eat your weight in chocolate, cry and let it all out xx

@MichT4 I'm so so sorry! Please kind to yourself and allow yourself to heal! ❤

@MichT4 & having a rough day is fine sometimes lovely & we need them so allow yourself that. The chocolate & cake sound perfect. Maybe get yourself a good chick flick on / series, snuggle up with a blanket for the rest of the afternoon, then maybe a hot bath & face mask tonight. Sometimes we all need a real self care day with no judgements or guilt of anything you think of do.

Everything else will happen in motion as fast as they can. You’ve got it all lined up girl & everything in your control you’ve done. The referrals etc are in, so you just take a deep breath now.

Maybe try research into inositol see if you feel that would benefit at all re regulation of cycles? I know that so many women use that to help regulate things. I’ve taken it the first time this cycle just for reassurance more than anything. There are so many positive BFP stories about it.

xxxx

@MichT4 still silently reading this thread each day, not commenting much as I know those of us now expecting sometimes can de-rail the TTC chat and that's not what its for. Just wanted to hop on and add to the support you're already getting from this amazing group. So sorry for what you're going through again and there really isn't much more I can say to make it feel better, just to echo what has already been said- you're an inspiration to all of us. And you know what's best for you so don't let anyone, especially someone who hasn't gone through this tell you how you should be feeling or what your next steps should be. After my MC I couldn't bear to wait even one more cycle to try again, it would have been far more stressful to wait and "relax" (hate that word in the TTC context!). Some decide they need time and that is ok too! But it is no-ones job to tell you what to feel. We are all here for you and hoping and praying that the next steps with the specialist bring help and reassurance. I have no doubt that the next year will bring you every good thing ❤ stay strong

@MichT4 just read what your sister said. Makes me so mad! Like don’t say anything if you haven’t got anything positive to offer. Best approach to keep it to yourself and shut negative people out of your life even if it’s difficult but you just need to focus on yourself. Get all the cake and chocolate and allow yourself to feel sad, angry, rough whichever! You need to let it out to rise again! Don’t feel silly for having had hope - I’m time you will start trusting your body again and trusting that you will have that healthy rainbow baby when the time is right. Sending you lots of virtual hugs xxx

@MichT4 I think your response to your sister is spot on. it's such a private matter and she should know better than that.

@Northernsoul90 will you carry on temping for the rest of this cycle? I am considering giving it a miss as my sleep is so disrupted and I think I'll worry over every dip and peak. I think I will drive myself nut s symptom spotting too and comparing to "last time". Remind me how long your cycles are again? I'm due AF on 7th Sept using a 28 cycle and assuming a 14 day luteal phase

@Firevie your doctor sound sooo proactive. I love that the Austrian ethos is "prevention" rather than "wait till someone falls apart". I'm currently with a private consultant in London who is OK at best, she doesn't do anything over and above the minimum, I suspect that stems from also working for the NHS!

@MrsK21 absolutely! Prevention is the way forward. 20years ago, my same doctor spotted a lump in my mums breast - this was a routine appointment - and sent my mum for tests etc. They discovered it was cancer but removed the lump before it turned malignant! So I’m absolutely for prevention rather than waiting until something goes wrong. I’ve been seeing my OBGYN since I was 13, always every three months for a routine check up. She’s always done smear tests, checked my breasts and done an ultrasound (well as soon as I turned 18/19 would be weird before then lol). So when I get letters from NHS now saying you can now come for a smear test because I’m old enough at 36 and can get a smear test every two years I’m like no thanks I get mine done twice a year at home anyway. If you ever wanted to change your private doctor let me know. Happy to give you the name of mine in London - he’s great! And I’m very lucky to be with him. He will also see me through pregnancy. Xxx

@MichT4 just catching up with the thread. I'm so sorry to hear your news please look after yourself, sending you a virtual hug and love ❤️ xx

Thanks @Firevie , sent you a PM just in case I need to see someone else / need additional support in future xxx

Hi, just catching up on the last few pages so I can’t remember who to tag what in sorry 🤦🏼‍♀️
-scan is 8.20am tomorrow although I bet I will be waiting around longer than that. Thanks for the good lucks all. Broke down at work today cause I’m worrying. X
@MichT4 I’m so so sorry to read about your blood test 😩 we were all hopeful for you so please don’t feel silly for having hope. If we don’t have hope what else do we have? I read somewhere the only thing stronger than fear is hope ❤️ And I really hope your referral is quick and you get some answers/support ASAP.

It really annoys me too about this 3 losses thing with the nhs. And I too have struggled to get hold of progesterone through them. I’m using the low dose cream @2020wish recommended, gp said not too but I’ve ignored that and continued. My gp reckons they don’t readily give it to ladies and if they do it’s later on in preg, what use is that for people who struggle to get past the 1st trimester? Unfortunately I think in this country money is power so private would no doubt be better.

@MrsK21 just sent you a PM xx
@Pugprincess good luck for your scan tmr! I’m sure it will all be fine!!! You’re absolutely correct in that money is power and that is such a sad thing! Can’t believe you need to be financially stable to get looked after 🙈🙈 xxx

@MichT4 Definitely treat yourself to lots of chocolate and maybe a nice bath and some cozy pjs. Don't feel silly for being hopeful it's been such a rollercoaster for you and we have all been hopeful along with you. ❤️

@MrsK21 I think I will temp for another couple of days and then stop for this cycle otherwise I will also overthink and panic about every little temp dip. My cycles are 31/32 days and ovu normally happens on cd19 sometimes 20 and my luteal phase is usually around 12/13 days. AF is due on the 6/7th Sep so same as you! Xx

I mc in May at 5 weeks. I'm now on 2ww.
I had a chemical after mc, the following month a normal af and now I'm praying this is the month. Wishing you all the best luck ttc. X

My AF is due 8th september @Northernsoul90 so we are all in the same boat! That's my daughters birthday so I don't know what to do. Test on 13DPO so I don't get a big shock on her birthday with my inevitable BFN or just wait it out. Hard to know.

@MichT4 chocolate cake sounds like a plan. I'm also a fan of a good ugly cry, usually cry in the shower or stick on a soppy movie and just sob my eyes out. The notebook is particularly good for that! Sometimes it's quite cathartic to have a good cry. And some chocolate. Tomorrow is a new day and you have all your tests lined up and a plan in place so keep doing what you're doing and you will get that beautiful rainbow baby xo