TTC after MC - August 2020 (Thread 9)

[VP91x]

Hey ladies,

Fingers crossed for lots of BFPs this month as we are definitely due some!

BFP list❤️

@Hayleylou89
@1990EM
@Tink20058
@mumoftwobeauts
@DontStandSoClose
@peonyrose87
@Ejb86
@Girlmum83
@Dipsy77
@DBTJ
@SmileyT
@ManchNic
@Niisa
@fafi
@2020wish
@calimommy

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@VP91x
@Runnergirl1
@Hayley19835
@Mommybear05
@HE88
@Rainbowhope11
@HopeForRainbowbaby
@Renna
@Diorissimo1985
@Rb486
@Wishingfornumber2
@Northernsoul90
@Sallyjo27
@Pugprincess
@Jazper
@elliew818
@AC2020
@Eli2020
@littletandme
@MichT4
@Re6ecc4
@Bellabubble
@Lollol86
@Firevie
@stayinghopeful92x
@chloedancer897
@Lollol86
@MrsK21
@Rebecca1992
@Beesy90
@LKMH
@Cici89
@Blondecomment0703
@CasperFlamingo

I'm CD11, waiting for something (anything) to happen this month 😂. Only taking my Inofolic Alpha this cycle and nothing else.

Hope I've tagged everyone xx

@Bl0ndi3 so I found out on the Monday the baby had no heartbeat and ent in for the mva on the Friday which I had that week off and then my doctor signed me off for another 2 weeks. It just depends on how you feel, some ladies find it better to go straight back and some need some time x

Ladies advice please, DH has suggested not ttc this month so that I can monitor and see what my period is like this time - because of my worries about it being so light this time and potential scar tissue. It does seem like a sensible option but the thought of waiting any longer kills me.

I am speaking to a nurse on Wednesday but I doubt that any referrals will be made based on one period. Would you wait this month out to see what happens with AF? I was considering trying to get in with a private gynaecologist but I'm not sure if you can self refer. I hope I don't sound really ott about this but I just want to know that everything is okay, the last thing I want to happen is potentially leave something untreated for it to get worse

@Northernsoul90 it’s completely ur call and what u think will be best for u. I believe having a proper af in June helped me hold onto this pregnancy.
I had a loss in jan/feb, got pg straight away in March - lost that pregnancy in April and wasn’t bleeding much even tho the scan said I had a complete mc, then caught again in may which ended up as a chemical and a very heavy AF after that (which I believe may have helped clear out my womb properly) , then my body had a break in June and af came as normal and seemed back to normal, no chemicals or anything. Then July I caught again and so far so good... so maybe a one month break from the stress and pressure and let ur cycles normalise might help u in the long run x

@Lollol86 "one day" is right! Sounds like you have a lovely setup though How old are your kids? I've been working overtime to try and make sure I get ahead of everyone who might be competing with me for a job in the next year or two but maybe I need to chill out a bit

@Bl0ndi3 So glad you could take time off. I'm training at a university, meaning I have a stipend rather than a proper salary so I'm sort of my own boss, but that does mean I don't really have any extra benefits or leeway if things do go wrong. At the moment continuing work, which I enjoy a lot, is helping me retain a sense of control, but I'm going to commit to finishing a bit early some days so I have time to unwind.

@Northernsoul90 I don't have the experience to give you advice on what to do, but I can sympathise with the being absolutely fed up of not knowing what's going on in there, and wanting someone to just take you seriously. I hope you do get taken seriously, it's the least you deserve.

@scrambledeggy I don't love my job (nor do I hate it) but it's really quiet at the minute due to Covid and WFH, which is good in a way as I don't have much to do but I always feel guilty when i am not doing anything as it is so I really don't fancy going back just yet I definitely want next week off and maybe go back after that if I feel stronger mentally.

I'm due annual leave from 28th - 7th as it's my 30th on 6th September so I'll have that week off as well so be nice to break it up I guess.

@scrambledeggy I have 2 girls ages 3 & 7, I'm definitely happy with my set up.
What job do you do? I can get quite bored in my job but it's so flexible and they understand family comes first x

@VP91x ah I’m sorry you had a bad experience at Chessington! We’re quite local to it and have passes and went when they first opened up after lockdown and they were really good with restricting numbers, I guess now it’s summer and hot they’re taking full advantage and packing it out!

@Bl0ndi3 I would definitely say take off as much time as you need from work if that’s possible. I ended up having 7 weeks off - my miscarriage was complicated in the sense the bleeding just didn’t stop (72 days in total!) so I had quite a lot of appointments where I kept going back to the doctor or for scans etc and my boss handed all my cases over to someone else so there was no rush for me to get back. It really helped as I was a bit of an emotional wreck. Don’t rush if you need the time off and speak to your doctor if you need them to sign you off for longer x

@Lollol86 I think anyone who has kids is not only really lucky but must be an octopus! I struggle with ironing for DH and I (which is why he mostly ends up doing it lol) and there's only two of us AND we're mostly in pyjamas anyway!

I'm doing a PhD (research) at a university. I was supposed to be able to visit some really specific places like libraries to be able to carry out my work this year, as well as travelling for conferences, but instead I've been busy re-planning my research whilst trying to shore up my chances of getting a job as a lecturer some time...if ever. I know how privileged I am to be working from home or at all, even if its not the big bucks.

@Bl0ndi3 how nuts is it that even when we could do with the time off we feel so guilty for not being busy! Walking sounds like such a good way to distract yourself. What have you got planned for your birthday?

@scrambledeggy nothing planned for my birthday as it stands I feel like it's going to be emotional because I was going to be 11/12 weeks pregnant on my birthday and telling people plus where I love we are in a local mini lockdown so I can't even have friends or family in my house!

I'll take next week, ring GP on Tuesday and see what they say it's a bit awkward that I went off mid week as it's not clean if that makes sense. Might ask for another week and go back for half a week next week and then I'm only in til the following Thursday and off for a week again booked annual leave. If I loved my job I reckon I'd be okay going back after 7 days self cert but the thought of working my job right now is just so disheartening I can't handle it the way I feel.

@Lemondropsandgumdrops your story sounds so awful that must've been so difficult for you ☹️ XX XX

@scrambledeggy you certainly do feel like an octopus at times 😂😂
You job sounds really interesting, I've been lucky enough to work from home too although it has been very challenging with my 2 girls here.
Honestly I've started finding grey hairs, I'm 33 but this lockdown has really taken its toll 🤣🤣

@Bl0ndi3 it was difficult but tbh I think no matter what happens after the miscarriage, it’s so rubbish to loose a baby that the after effects for me were just more frustrating than anything. As I said earlier it’s so horrid we all had to go through this, personally it wasn’t something that ever even crossed my mind as I had a textbook pregnancy with my first :(

@VP91x
It feels such a long time to wait doesn't it but it's nice they are only a day apart, you're right, we can wait it out together. Is that for your initial consultation too? If so, what is the GP doing for you in the meantime, anything? Bloods?

@Northernsoul90
Sorry to hear af got you too. Cycle buddies again, here we go! Yes, tests are mostly private. I'm having the tests done more for peace of mind. I've never struggled to conceive before and we just want to check that everything is on the level after the mc in Feb. My partner is older and as such, I don't feel like we have time to waste. I would hate to get 18 months down the line to discover there's a problem and all that time would have been wasted.
Remind me, long have you been trying?

@Bellabubble
I see why you would want to get the ball rolling for tests. I am the same really, I know I haven't been trying for 'too long' but longer than I would like considering our ages. So I get it.

@Pugprincess
Stop POAS! YOU.ARE.PREGNANT!!!! 😂😂
And what wonderful news it is. I am so happy for you.

@scrambledeggy
You only hear the surface of people's lives on here, much the same as any form of social media. I am secure and stable now, and unbelievably happy, but it hasn't come without its ups and downs. When I was your age, I was four years in to a controlling and abusive relationship. I lost friends and family as a result and we were literally living hand to mouth every month. 6 years that relationship lasted and then I had to have two years of counselling to recover from the abuse I suffered - while bringing up my three children single handedly - the youngest of which was just one month old when he left.
Be grateful for what you do have, the rest will fall in to place ❤️

@Jazper We started trying in November last year, it feels like longer though as I came off the pill last August but we had to wait for 2 months to start ttc (we got married in Jamaica and there is Zika over there). We conceived in April after 6 months and then mmc in June. Six weeks after mva I finally got a negative hpt and then ovulated about 3 days after, af arrived on time but was very light - more like spotting and was very dark almost black. That lasted 3/4 days, my periods have always been light and lasted about 3 days but I expected it to be a lot heavier than it was this time so don't know what to think of it.

I agree with just not wanting to prolong things - I wish we could get some kind of MOT done just to check everything was okay 😂!

@Bl0ndi3 I had three weeks off after... I tried to go back after two but needed a second lot of medical management so ended up having three. I think going back helped though because I don’t even have a chance to think about it at work as I’m a nurse and always busy on the ward. But I have had a few moments, especially when people ask how I am and if I’m trying again etc. I feel okay speaking about it but it is tough sometimes. Generally though I think it did the world of good to get back asap. I was in total lock down during my short 12 weeks of pregnancy so was nice to speak to other people and socialise again.
@Northernsoul90 I think maybe still do things unprotected but just do what you wanna do, don’t track or anything. Just have a care free month. If af comes she does and you can assess, if not then woohoo! Just don’t put all your energy into it and see what happens 😊

@Pugprincess OMG congratulations, that’s amazing news! Praying for you that you remain healthy and have a happy 9 months until your little bundle arrives! Buzzing.

P.S I’ve been working nights, so hard to keep up with this thread.

Any good news from anyone else? Xxx

Thank you @2020wish @scrambledeggy @Rb486 💕

I feel a bit all over the place at the minute. I'm hormonal and I have anxiety which I do take medication for but it's been particularly bad since the mc. I might wait to speak to the nurse and see what she suggests - I think part of it is I'm just overthinking absolutely everything. I need to relax and not presume the worst all the time - one light period doesn't mean I have scarring but that's where my mind instantly goes to 🤦🏽‍♀️.

@Northernsoul90 no I get it, I googled everything after as well. And thought omg what if this and what if that. It’s normal, when you go through something so traumatic like the mc it really does make you feel like nothing good will come of it again. But when you heal and start rebuilding yourself it starts to feel better and I think we have to allow time. I’ve had two periods since now and I think yeah i would have loved to have caught then but maybe my body did need a good clear out and I feel so much better physically and mentally this month now! You’ll be absolutely fine! Just give yourself some time. All good things come to those who wait 🌈 xxxx

@Pugprincess wow you've told so many people already, it's good to have that support, I've only told one person but everyone always says I'm such a secret squirrel, I dated my ex for 2 years and bought a house with him before I'd introduced him to my parents 😂 ahh the bloat is so bad isn't it, think it's maybe worse after a recent loss, at 7weeks last time I could still see my abs 🙈

@Bl0ndi3 I'm glad you've joined over here and find some comfort in this thread. The Dr who did my surgery signed me off for a week, I didn't have any contact from anyone after that so I don't even know how I wouldn't extended it even if I'd wanted to but I think I would've wallowed at home so it was good for me to get out into the office and be so busy I didn't have much time to feel sad x

@Lemondropsandgumdrops really hoping you catch quick given all you've been through x

@Northernsoul90 glad you had a lovely meal and you are definitely not being OTT to want to investigate if there is anything wrong. I think it's such a personal decision and if I've learnt anything from this thread it's that there is not one path that leads to success. There are ladies that have had no AF or needed 6 cycles for AF to regulate and both have gone on to healthy pregnancies so just do what feels right for you x

@2020wish yay to hitting another milestone, are they scanning you again in 2weeks? ❤️

@Bellabubble I think 6months is the officially time the NHS will start investigating fertility over the age of 35 so might aswell get yourself in the system because think the wit can be long at the moment due to COVID x

@VP91x what a nightmare about chessington, hopefully home safe and sound and chilling now x

@scrambledeggy please don't take this in a patronising way but you are so young and it is so normal to want the world but it all takes time to find your own personal balance, I'm a mortgage advisor and go through peoples bank statements on a daily basis and can tell you categorically most people don't have their shit together. I honestly would've loved to be trying for a baby at 25, it was always my dream to be a young parent like the rest of my family and I was so jealous of those that did but now I realise that what is meant for me won't pass me, also a PHD 🤯 I dropped out half way through my maths degree because I'm a flake so I commend your work ethic, it will definitely pay off for you xx

@SmileyT hey lovely ♥️🥰 thanks so much for recommending it, though I'd much rather be on the other side with you still obvs!

I only have self cert until Wednesday but from what I gather all I have to do is call my GP and get a fit note for basically however long I feel I need, tempted to say 6 months 😂 joke, maybe.

I think next week for certain as the thought of going back to work tomorrow even WFH is too much to take I'm just not ready I keep crying at really random times and I just can't fit work stuff in my head with everything else right now so I definitely need some time off I just feel guilty taking it, like some kind of a fraud!

@Lemondropsandgumdrops some of your story is so similar to mine. Took a little while to conceive number 1 and it was a textbook pregnancy. I only took one cb digital test and that was it, didn’t even think about testing again and mc didn’t really cross my mind. When we started TTC next one I caught first month! But unfortunately MC at 10 weeks. Fingers crossed for you that you get another bfp again soon. X

@VP91x sorry to hear about chessington, that’s a shame they let so many people in, such long queue times! X

@Wishingfornumber2 that’s exactly like my first! Never had any worries during my pregnancy with her - overall it went really well. I had a lot of growth scans because they thought she measured small and there was talk of inducing at 37 weeks but even then I wasn’t worried as I knew that was still term and complications were unlikely. In the end I didn’t need inducing and she arrived on her own terms at 41+3 so kept me waiting! I didn’t think I had any reason to worry this time round and then obviously the miscarriage and now I feel really anxious and know I’ll be a nervous wreck during any future pregnancies! Thanks though, I hope the same for you

@Lemondropsandgumdrops I feel the same, if I hopefully get pregnant again I won’t be able to relax in the early stages. Thanks, fingers crossed to the both of us and all the other ladies in here!

@Jazper What a situation to have overcome- your kids must think you're a superhero. Thank you for sharing. I hope no-one here feels pressured to sharing anything they don't want to just because I'm having an episode of insecurity. I am so grateful- I was really sick as a kid, to the extent that teachers told me I wouldn't be able to manage secondary school, let alone college, uni or anything else. My being so down on myself and so jealous is probably just hormones, but you all being so ready with your kind words helps so much. Glad to hear you are in a better place.

@SmileyT Not taken the wrong way at all, glad it's not just me that doesn't have the proverbial shit together! I think people assume I'm very mature because of the PhD, but because I was such a late bloomer, both academically and in general, I get really stupidly impatient and cross with myself, and take any failure as proof I'm back at that stage in my life where I felt totally powerless. TTC seems to be having that effect. Thank you so much for the reassurance, I think a good night's sleep and some yoga will do a world of good Also, you don't sound like a flake at all, you just sound persistent in purduing what's right for you!

@Bl0ndi3 Aw that's absolutely rubbish I thought that when I saw you mention Darwen. All my family are in local lockdown areas too, I miss them so much. Did you say you live with your DP?

@Lollol86 It is interesting, I really love teaching as well though, so I hope there are some lecturer jobs about. And my god I've been in so many Zoom calls with colleagues who have kids, sounds like an absolute mare, on the bright side I get to see their cute kids!

Oh ladies I've had really strange feeling in my left lower side today. I'm trying not to symptom spot but also thinking could it just be in my head? It feels achy, heavy and a slight pinchy at times. I'm 7 dpo is it too early?

@scrambledeggy yeah unfortunately in a mini lockdown so no visitors and limited socialising outside the home too. Hopefully it changes by my birthday as I need something to look forward to! If my cycles go back to how they were pre pregnancy and MC then I'm due on the day before my birthday 🤞🏻

Yeah me and OH have been together 6 years, lived together for 5, last 2.5 in our own house, I can wait to get married, baby is next on my list! X