Oreo 🍫 , 🍷 , puffy sex & BFPs by snaccident #dirtydozen

[SmileyT]

Have you seen our guide to getting pregnant?🤣

1. Lots of sex (every other day to catch) or SMEP or just Banging OH to death seems to work for some - For the same sex couples out there; Insemination using a cup (easily available on Amazon) Bum up after the goods are deposited... don’t leave it in the cup for ages before you put it in ✌🏾

1. Relaxing & lots of patience

1. Prenatal vitamins e.g Pregnacare, COQ10, Primrose oil, B6, B12, Calc Flour, Folic acid/Folate, Magnesium, Vit C (will have to do your research on amounts/when to take these)

1. Conceive plus/preseed - if you haven’t had enough assfruit juice and you aren’t moister than an 🦪 💦

1. Seed cycling - make sure you ground them up

1. Grapefruit juice (ass juice) for EWCM - CM should be stretchy sometimes hard to tell the difference between cum if you get loads of action.

7.OPKS/CB Digital ovulation kits 😂 A lot of us seem to like fermometer to record the OPK peaks

1. It will happen when it's meant to but not necessarily the month you want it to 😩

9.Wine, pizza, oreo choc and pouffe sex

10.Relax, dont be stressed, take bbt, dont take bbt, dont obsess, obsess, exercise, don't exercise too much, loose weight, don't loose too much weight, eat healthy, don't let it consume you and eat what you want apart from too much alcohol, caffeine, cigs obvs

11.PMS/ early pregnancy symptoms are the same and the progesterone likes to trick you.

And most of all it isn’t your fault, blame corona for all BFN

@lbee2020 I pee in the lid of my dry shampoo (it's nearly clear so can tell how concentrated my urine is too and it cups nicely and catches everything so no spill 🤣 FYI if you take preconception vitamins your pee always looks very yellow but you eventually manage to tell the difference

@2020mission I think more babies are born to mothers over 30 now anyway so it's the majority being born around this age 🥰 and I'm so disappointed in your rich tea 😫

@lucyrp so glad you're finally getting somewhere!!! AF will probs show up now to be annoying🙄

@garagesale welcome to the group! We're a mad bunch but lovely! So sorry to hear about you MC at 22weeks that must have been really painful! Sending you some bus beginner baby dust xx

And some more baby dust to all you other bus babes 😘😘 xxx

And some more baby dust to all you other bus babes 😘😘 xxx

Thanks @Mococo1 I need all the dust I can get!! 😝 how you getting on?

Welcome @garagesale you're in good hands here! So sorry to hear about your MC!! 

@SmileyT I'd love that sort of age gap and not having to go bk to work in between the two. Absolutely ideal 👌🏾

@SmileyT I've ended up coming to my sisters caravan so left before the delivery 🤣🤣 suppose it will take my mind off it for a bit xx

Rich tea biscuits have to be in finger shape, or they don't fit in the cuppa, they don't taste as nice with coffee, so you'll all have to become acostume to tea, soz... this also applies to custard cream
I like steak medium done, my brother is a savage and often ask the chef to just sear it🤯

@notyetamumbuttrying she worked for Barclays actually and funnily enough she hated it and got made redundant on 2nd mat leave so got paid throughout pretty much then got a lump sum to go off do an accounting course and find a job she loves... all worked out perfectly, plus turns out putting 2 kids under 3 in full-time nursery runs about £1500 a month 🤯 this is your month I can feel it ❤️

@Catherinettc ahh enjoy lovely xx

@garagesale welcome 🙏 I'm so sorry for your loss. Did you track ovulation at all? Or just going for regular sex throughout method? xx

Hi everyone!

@SmileyT no, I haven't been tracking so far, just regular sex! Although I've told myself if I don't conceive this month I'm going to start tracking. I'll buy some ovulation tests and go from there. It sounds ridiculous as a fully grown woman who should know her body but I don't really know where to start with tracking

@LV1987 men and their periods! If you feel up to it I would also try tomorrow, can take 36hr to ovulate from when LH starts to surge. Do you take bbt?

@garagesale so sorry about mc, 22 weeks must have been mega hard 💙

@garagese welcome t the group! So sorry to hear about your miscarriage, that must've been awful and so hard to go through!x

OMG yes @Blodyn91 can't believe I missed that. I knew I'd need this picture again. See pic & for anyone who missed the end of the last thread this pic was the answer for everything on Saturday 😂

@Lucyrp it's a start I guess 🤔 did I remember you saying earlier you & OH had filmed you two & you like to tell him you are watching it? Was that you, or @Blodyn91 or @vil10 or @Katecolx I can't keep up!! But fir fertile week that would be good!

@LV1987 Bloody men eh!! I bet your egg had already been snared by an eligible Sperm already 🤵🏼that's how it goes in my head anyway 🤷‍♀️oooo and @Notyetamumbuttrying OV day too see in your head too it goes this way too right?!

@Garagesale welcome & sorry for your loss, my cycles we're screwed after early MMC I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you. We are a bit of a crazy bunch here but very supportive & chatty

In other news in looking back for twatface pic my photos (& my deleted ones) from here are hilarious. My little pony or porn star. Sex toy or dog toy. Porn pics from when @skip86 was shovelling shit at the Reno house & I swear she was the actual porn star from the channel 4 programme I was watching "sex in lockdown"

Good times 😂

@Minster2012 it was me and @Vil10 !!

@lucyrp yay glad you're starting to get somewhere finally! You'll probably start to destress now someone's taking you seriously and AF will show 😂🤞🏻

@garagesale welcome! ☺️ so sorry to hear about your MC 😔 this group definitely makes TTC a little easier ☺️

Guys I'm CD9 and first day of CB tests today and blank as normal ⭕️, based on the last two months I should get peak ov either Saturday or Sunday. What days would you guys try to DTD? Only slight annoyance is we're both out Saturday afternoon/night so it'd have to be hungover Sunday morning sex 😂 every day would be a push, but every other day maybe from today? X

@Minster2012 @lucyrp haha not meeee 😇 I filmed it once with an ex when I was steaming, thought I was dead sexy and then when I watched it back was like 😳 I like to watch porn but I think my time in front of the camera has come to an end 😂😂

@KateColx honestly I seriously hope so although tonight I'm on super stress mode because my OH best friend has had their baby today and had a little girl and I couldn't even bare to look at them when he FaceTimed us to show us her and I've been in a horrible mood ever since☹️

@SmileyT bloody hope so! Just been chatting to a mate who said his wife is pregnant with their second and it took a week-think he meant one cycle lol! He started by saying that the docs said it would take 6 months too just to rub salt in the wounds lol, not that he knows we're ttc of course so can't blame him for bragging. They're both older than me too. I don't get why it's taking us so long 😫
Wow go your SIL, she nailed it!

@Minster2012 yep gonna start believing it'll happen rather than thinking it won't. Need to get out of this funk, I should be happy on ov day. Need to stop talking to fertile mates 😂
Twatface is my favourite photo of yours 😆

@KateColx I think every other and less pressure is much better than everyday and getting all worked up. Drunk sex on Sat night an option 😏? Also gotta love hangover sex!

@Minster2012 hahaha yes that was me and @lucyrp

@KateColx hahaha this was me, whilst drunk I thought I looked so good and like a proper porn star, and we watched it back and it was so hilariously cringey😂

@Minster2012 hahaha yes that was me and @lucyrp

@KateColx hahaha this was me, whilst drunk I thought I looked so good and like a proper porn star, and we watched it back and it was so hilariously cringey😂

@lucyrp aw bless you it's so difficult isn't it 😔 my best friend is due to pop any day and it's such a mix of emotions. One of my other friends recently told me she's pregnant (after saying she was thinking about trying when I said we'd stopped trying not to get pregnant), so it took her no time at all and I'm struggling to be super happy which is so mean. We're allowed to feel a mix of emotions, but our time will definitely come 🥰 try not to let it get you down 😘

@notyetamumbuttrying I'm with you on needing to stay away from fertile friends 😂😂

@blodyn91 yeah you're right every other is much less stress haha. There's a good chance of drunk sex on Saturday but alsoooo a chance we might just pass out 😂 hangover sex is a fave though! So hopefully we'll be good for Sunday morning. Might try and cover Friday night too.

@Vil10 hahaha it's bad isn't it?! I actually thought Christ why do you even want to sleep with me?! 😂😬

@DKDK123 snap!! I'm 36, had my first at 33.
Ideally wanted a 2 year age gap but no I'm telling myself 3 years is better lol. My little girl will be 3 in March

@2020mission I'm 32 TTC my first as well! I was ready to start years ago but OH always had an excuse!

@blodyn91 don't worry - I had three big ginger biscuits today!

@TheDaydreamBelievers haha don't worry, I had my white rice for dinner 😅. Technically carbs were fine, just a matter of changing to brown rice and wholegrain. The quarter Chinese in me though only believes in proper rice though, not that brown shit.

@clolo I called my GP last week and got booked in for blood tests the day after, so must be on a trust by trust basis?

I missed 4 pages whilst at work girls, what the heck!

I can honestly say I've never felt the urge to film it, I've taken some pictures but even when watching in a mirror when DTD I'm thinking "god my arms don't look good" 😂I can't imagine they would look good on film 🙈@Vil10 & @Lucyrp I will leave that to you youngsters it's enough for me to act like I'm a pornstar & think I'm dead sexy (steaming or not) than try watch that shit back 😬

@Lucyrp right ok, I get you on the OH best mate baby thing so, to cheer you up here's 3 of my favourite things I'm looking at right NOW ...there are 3 pictures ladies

WINE 🍷
CAKE 🧁🍰on tv (& yes I know you are just noseying the rest but I can't zoom in more)
DOG one very relaxed dog & his cock in true relaxed male style legs akimbo

Sending hugs to all 🥰

@KateColx good, glad I'm not the only one 😂 I didn't ask either, he just offered it up. She's only 8 weeks too! He was talking about needing a bigger car and then just told me 😳 I desperately wanted to say we're ttc so please don't say anymore but I've told too many ppl as it is. I don't want even more pressure!
@Juno231 have you been trying a year now then? I'm calling docs next month if still no joy 😬

@Juno231 - ahhh the relief, I'm already 99% wholegrain (the 1% is sourdough)

@Minster2012 - well, when I pretending to be saintly its celery but when I'm not lying to myself its salt and black pepper kettle chips, mmmmm