Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

I will 100% join in on this! Last year me and hubby decided this year would be the year we start TTC but decided we would wait until after out birthday and a big wedding that was due in April.

Of course, the wedding got cancelled and is now next February.

I know they say you can't plan when you fall pregnant, and many will think this is a silly reason to postpone baby making, but I have a ton of outfits all ready for the wedding, and I really would like to still fit into them! So we decided to wait until later this year when, if by some miracle, we fall pregnant in our first cycle, I will hopefully still be slim enough to fit into the clothes!

So October will be our first month of TTC. Fingers crossed!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I know the feeling... I try to talk to my hubby about it, but he's like its too far away and never wants to really discuss it. Plus he is so awkward, we have been together 6 years and he still gets creeped out asking me if I am on my period. Men.

What have you done to start preparing??

memememememme please!

Hubby and I are hoping to start NTNP in October and then actively in January. Unfortunately due to my husband's childhood cancer he is currently undergoing hormone treatment to get his body to produce sperm. Doctor's are very hopeful but we still don't know. We should know by the end of September which will hopefully also coincide with when he passes his probation at his new job (fingers crossed).

However, I want to be raring to go when the time comes. Planning to have coil removed at the end of next month (i had horrific periods so not looking forward to that) and trying to lose weight atm. Started my folic acid etc this week.

So anxious and so excited at the same time. Fingers crossed for September

We're not planning on TTC immediately, but probably in the new year. So I'll be spending the next 6 months preparing for Baby #2. I didn't prep at all for baby #1 but having been through a pregnancy I know what things I want to focus on.

For me it's:

• Lose the weight from my first pregnancy. I had a BMI of around 24 with my first and want to be in that area again.
• Improve cardiovascular fitness, I had a lot of complications in my pregnancy so was pretty much on bed rest and lost a lot of fitness
• Improve core strength
• Pelvic floor exercises
• Coming off of hormonal birth control early and switching to barrier methods. I've already had my implant out so my body has plenty of time to regulate pre TTC

Once we do start TTC I might start taking folic acid. I'll also focus on making sure I have plenty of iron in my diet.

Ah it's so exciting and doesn't sound stupid at all! It's so nice to know when you'll be TTC but I really wish I had some kind of idea how long it's going to take.. I'm a bit like Monica from Friends I just love planning things haha!

I hear you on the men front! I've been with my bf for 6 years too and she still doesn't like the period chats haha!!

I started taking Folic about a month ago and started taking Vitamin D yesterday, I read a lot about women being deficient in Vit D and the effects it can have on the baby etc.

I've cut out caffeine and I didn't really drink loads of alcohol anyway but only really have one here or there and just trying to eat lots of fruit and veggies. There's a really good page on Insta it's called the_dietologist ..I'd say that's the most useful thing I've read.

I've seen a lot of threads about OPKs and they just blow my mind! I don't get them 🙈

Have you done anything to prep?

Ooh yay so happy there are others who are prepping early too, I was starting to worry I was overthinking it all.

@bells3032 Oh I have fingers crossed for you that all is ok, is he able to have a sperm test? I had cancer 4 years ago, I was 23 at the time so it's def a worry of mine. Good idea on getting the coil out so you're cycles regulate! I came off the pill when I started chemo and didn't bother going back on it after. I think I'd benefit from losing a few pounds too, are you doing any particular plan?

Hey @curiosity101 - did you fall straight away with baby #1? Ooh your points are really interesting I hadn't thought of improving core strength!

Have you ladies read Luisa Zissman's maybe baby blog? I don't want to become a walking tablet bottle but the tabs she speaks about sounds good - DHA and Coq10?

I also read up on conceive plus? Apparently it's meant to help those little guys swim haha!!

Ooh yay so happy there are others who are prepping early too, I was starting to worry I was overthinking it all.

@bells3032 Oh I have fingers crossed for you that all is ok, is he able to have a sperm test? I had cancer 4 years ago, I was 23 at the time so it's def a worry of mine. Good idea on getting the coil out so you're cycles regulate! I came off the pill when I started chemo and didn't bother going back on it after. I think I'd benefit from losing a few pounds too, are you doing any particular plan?

Hey @curiosity101 - did you fall straight away with baby #1? Ooh your points are really interesting I hadn't thought of improving core strength!

Have you ladies read Luisa Zissman's maybe baby blog? I don't want to become a walking tablet bottle but the tabs she speaks about sounds good - DHA and Coq10?

I also read up on conceive plus? Apparently it's meant to help those little guys swim haha!!

ppatel87 here... quick name change!!

@Bells3032 really hope the treatment goes well for your hubby and he passes his probation!
I started folic acid as soon as I came off the pill (end of last year) and have been on it since, but also read somewhere Vit D is also supposed to be good so might pick some of that up this weekend and combine with FA.

@Curiosity101 I am trying to lose a bit of weight too ahead of October, I am probably about a stone heavier than I would like to be so that's keeping me motivated to get the weight off! This will be baby no1 for me, is there anything else you would recommend we prepare?

@sunflowersaremyfav93 sounds exactly like me. I have worked out how many months pregnant I will be at the wedding if I was to fall pregnant in September, October, November and December. October won as I will be just over 3 months. Still hopefully fitting into my clothes, and everyone will know.
For ages me and hubby (mainly me) were toying with options... should we try earlier so that we don't have to hide it, but risk having to buy a whole new outfit for the wedding or late enough that I will still fit but that no one will know and will have to go through potentially dreaded 1st trimester symptoms while no one knows. And its a close family wedding, full of Asians... all the eagle eyed aunties will definitely clock on!!

In the end, we have no idea how long it will take, so just going to start in October and pray for the best.

My older sister fell pregnant the first time they tried, maybe it'll run in the family!

I have been tracking my ovulation ever since coming off the pills, mainly to know when my periods would be, and usually the apps tell you about ovulation too, but recently also been temping. I have decided I am going to invest in cheap internet OPKs and also a CB one to help. I also don't know if this counts as prep, but I have been warning hubby we are going to need to have a lot more sex. I think I am probably the only wife who's husband was not pleased with that! He works super long hours, so at the moment we only ever really DTD once a week. Anyone know of any natural aphrodisiacs I can slowly start slipping to him?? lol

@sunflowersaremyfav93 he's had two so far, one had 10 immobile sperm and the second had nothing. But he's not producing LH and FSH himself yet so he's started on Menopur and doctor's are really hopefully. his testoerone is staying high and all the plumbing is working. just need to find the right tap now!

To be fair, we might all be overthinking it . You just know you're not alone now!

I fell pregnant on my second cycle. I came off the pill (which I'd been on for 14 years), had a withdrawal bleed as usual, then a period 35/36 days after, then next month a positive test. Now I have a 10 month old .

I've not read anything additional. For me ignorance is bliss, if I found out something was potentially beneficial to pregnancy then I'd instantly feel 100% like I had to do it and would make myself feel bad if I didn't. I'll take prenatals once pregnant and potentially Folic Acid while TTC, but I do feel that looking after yourself is the most important bit. If you eat well and exercise then your body will take care of the rest. I'm still on the fence about Folic Acid for TTC to be honest, I eat quite a lot of fortified cereals and green veg so I probably get plenty from my diet and probably have a pretty good store of it already.

Haha love it @cookiemonster3001

Hahah I know exactly what you mean, I'm Italian, plenty of eagle eyed aunties there too!! I think you're making a good decision though 😊

You're right, we can prep as much as we want but it'll just happen when it happens. Brilliant about your sister though, did she have any tips? My sister in law fell pregnant straight away too, miscarried but then fell pregnant straight away the month after.

Ooh you'll have to let me know what cheapy OPKs you're using, I'm going to start using them.
Haha oysters 😂 are you going to ask him to take anything to increase quality/quantity of sperm? Imagine they knew the conversations we were having!! Makes me laugh 😂

@CookieMonster3001 I can definitely only speak from my experience of pregnancy. So no, they're the main ones for me that I think would benefit any pregnant lady.

The only other thing is that from an emotional and relationship stand point - make sure you do as much with your partner while it's just you two together. Go out for meals, sleep in, do whatever it is to make your relationship as strong as possible pre baby. Also talk about all your parenting ideas/opinions to make sure you're on the same page. Is one of you 100% against CIO method or sleep training in general? Do you want to breast feed? Will your partner support you if you do want to breast feed?

Anyone know of any natural aphrodisiacs I can slowly start slipping to him??

Does lingerie count? Or tbh just rocking up to bed naked - I bet if you just come to bed naked you wont even have to instigate anything so long as he notices .

@bells3032 that's brilliant, positive news there! I acc have a call with my docs tomorrow I want to find out if the chemo did effect me at all.

@curiosity101 ah amazing!! You're right with the whole looking after yourself idea there I'm such an over thinker and worry I'm just causing more hassle for myself, working from home and being at home all the time isn't really helping.

I'm with you in the lingerie idea haha!! Want to try make it as fun as poss and not like 'we must have sex because I'm ovulating' 😂🙈

@CookieMonster3001 I just spied in your last post that you may be of Asian decent? If so it's worth looking up gestational diabetes. Depending on your ethnicity you may default into the category of being tested. It's not a big deal but it's a pain if you do end up with GD, another very good reason to lose weight.

GD is one of my other reasons for losing weight. I was tested this time round cause we have Type 1 in the family. My results came back 'ok'. I saw the results and my midwife said "Well it's a pass... but it's not exactly a pass with flying colours". So Ideally I want to weigh a tiny bit less that I did with baby #1 as well as being fitter. The idea of having to limit my carb intake whilst pregnant fills me with dread, or worse insulin injections

I know what you mean. Everyone has to do what's right for them though. For example I steered clear of OPKs and temping because I agree with this...

Want to try make it as fun as poss and not like 'we must have sex because I'm ovulating'

Instead we just DTD every other day, with the exception of AF days of course. We plan to do the same next time. However if we have trouble conceiving (eg. 6 months+) then we might change strategy.

I think we'd like to take that approach as well @curiosity101 I get quite horrible cramps when I'm ovulating and the EWCW so I feel like I can guess without all the faffing about. So were you pretty chilled with it all first time round?

@sunflowersaremyfav93 @Curiosity101

No chance of any oysters in this household, they look like boogers! I have told him he needs to quit his vaping though, and his juice runs out this month, so will be interesting to see how he gets on with it. I have a feeling I am going to experience having a child before I even have a child if you get what I mean!!

Lingerie also doesn't count, the only one I have I tried on the other day and flesh was spilling out all over the place, it would work turning him off though!! And as for him noticing in the first place, I'd need to pry him away from his mobile first!! lol

I have a smear test booked in August, so I am also going to have a chat with the nurse about family planning to see what crops up, especially about GD and thallasemia.

Tried to approach the subject of making the most out of our time now before a baby comes into the picture, but hubby doesn't really get it. Especially with the whole lockdown situation really preventing us from doing a lot of stuff! I really wanted a holiday before TTC, but I doubt that will happen now!

BTW I know I'm making my MR sound like a terror, but he's absolutely amazing really!

Hahah I know exactly what you mean! I managed to get my boyfriend to stop smoking when we started lockdown, saves a lot of money as well doesn't it!

And yes on the having a child before having in haha. We bought our first home together last last so we've been living together for just over a year now and he's the best but omg why don't they put the empty loo roll thing in the bin???

@sunflowersaremyfav93

haha I know the feeling. What's worse is he starts a new roll when there's still some left on the last one!! There's constantly 3 or 4 loo rolls on the go. What is wrong with them!!

How old are you? and will this be your first? If you don't mind me asking?

Haha so funny!!

I'm 27 and yes this is our first, what about you? I can't wait to be a mum, I find myself looking a baby clothes how bad is that!

Forgot to tag you in my comment below @cookiemonster3001 x

@sunflowersaremyfav93 good luck speaking to your doctor.

you're still very young. I am turning 32 next month and my husband is about to turn 28 (yay toy boy). He was ready for a baby the minute we said I do. I was so resistant to it before lockdown, still too much i wanted to go. Then suddenly a switch flipped inside me and its all i want!!!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I guess I was reasonably chilled first time round. As chilled as you can be when TTC I think. We spent a stupid amount on pregnancy tests though. I wasn't aware of one step dip tests and similar. I kept seeing pictures of 'weird' pregnancy tests online and wondered where people were getting them from.

I still vividly remember standing in Boots buying our first ones and both of us looking at eachother like "how much?!?!".

Aw @Bells3032 that's so lovely!! Got everything crossed for you!

@curiosity101 Yeah I've had a look online, really expensive!!

I've started thinking about what my mat pay would be like etc so saving as much as we can now.

Also another thing, I'll speak to my doctor tomorrow but I have a septate uterus as well so that's been on my mind! Apparently really increases the risk of miscarriage!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 im 33 in June and yep 1st child too. Age does worry me a bit but I am trying not to focus too much on it!!

Defo at a stage now where I cant wait. I think about it all the time. Never really used to understand when people said they felt broody... and ive always wanted kids but i get the broody feeling now! The overwhelming urge to become a mother like RIGHT NOW!! Lol