Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

@sunflowersaremyfav93 what are you hoping the private gynaecologist will be able to do for you? If you've already had it confirmed you have it and the NHS has referred you to a gynaecologist. I went to a private consultant when I was waiting for my NHS laparoscopy, all he did was tell me what I already knew and then the price of having it privately was about £10k!

If it's going to hugely make you feel better then consider it but sounds like it's unlikely an option for you to get the full procedure done privately?

Hi @Nate1! Yes, I thought it was a good place to start! Probably cardio to start with, and then move on to some strength stuff. I’ve just finished Couch to 5k so I’m feeling quite positive about that! How about you?

Hi @sunflowersaremyfav93 not taking any specific pre conception supplements, but I do take the Wellwoman vegetarian supplement on the days I remember, which is about 90% of the time! When things get more serious I’ll speak to a doctor and see if that’s ok to keep taking while TTC. Are you taking any? Sorry to hear about your worries about your uterus, it’s great you managed to get a consultation so quickly though.

Hey guys please can I join! It is SO good to read people planning in advance I literally thought I was the only one that was counting down the months

I'm 30 and we did start trying in March about the same time the whole world went into crisis and so we decided to stop. Looking back I'm sure it would have all be fine and now I see pregnant people out and about and I am so jealous! Anyway since March we've had a bit of a look at options, we moved into our forever home almost two years ago. We were suppose to be getting married in August, I think we still will be, we were only having a small ceremony and party after so it might just have to be even smaller than we initially planned!

The problem was my job, it's never been the ideal job to have if you want children as it involved a lot of working weekends and Xmas etc and although people do make it work I decided to go for something that was going to be more 9-5 min-fri. Since then I've had an interview for a job I would love, I thought the interview went ok but it's in education and I haven't got qualifications in that area (I think they interviewed me for the industrial experience) so I'm sure if someone else was being interviewed for the position they would get it. Anyway sorry to blab on! The said they would get in touch with people at the end of the week (last week) and so far not heard anything 😭I'm taking it as bad news and so on to plan B! Plan B is to start my teacher training in September but plan B also means that babies would be on hold. This is fine, I'm fine totally FINE! Except since maybe this time last year we've been talking about the best time for children and I don't know if I can wait for so long in the future, also I know 30 isn't old but I have no idea what my fertility is like and so how long it may take, waiting until 32 is that a bit risky 😟

I am really sorry for such a long post but now I feel better 😂

Hmmm I just did another OPK strip and it seems just as dark as yesterdays, not sure what to think of that. I guess I will have to do another tomorrow and compare again, this is all new to me so just interested in getting a bit more of an insight into my cycle.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 quite often consultants work 50/50 in the NHS and a private clinic so it might be worth having a look to see if you can find one local to you that does this, that way if you wanted to transfer over you could see the same one.

@MsQueenInTheNorth wow I‘m impressed! 5k is very very good. Because COVID happened we can‘t go on the initial holiday we planned and decided to hike several days (150k) instead. I am training for that but it‘s not really cardio so I need to overcome my fear of shortness of breath to get fitter I guess :D. What changed that you managed to accomplish 5k? I do enjoy YouTube yoga classes. I can recommend Yoga with Adrian (she‘s from Texas so English speaking) and I feel like it‘s just exactly the right kind of strength training for me. Lots of core and back work which I reckon is good for an upcoming pregnancy but nothing too strenuous :)

@MayDay27 Hi :) I‘m a teacher and in my first year of teaching. Happy to hear that it is a career you‘d like too persue. It is very rewarding. Sorry to hear that it delays your ttc plans though. :( I am waiting to ttc because of my husbands job training which will end in April 21. Any due date after that would just financially be the sensible and smart thing to aim for :)
Maybe you already said and I forgot but why are you other ladies waiting? Sorry x

@Nate1 I LOVE Yoga with Adrienne, she goes through everything so clearly. I didn't used to have the patience for yoga, but her videos make it more fun :)

We're waiting for our house to come through (put in the offer a while ago but the current owners haven't found somewhere to move yet!) then we'll probably start TTC. Though DH looked at me today and said "It's probably going to go okay, there's no reason we wouldn't get the house, shall we just start now?" So my resolve is slipping!!

@butterfly5291 You’re right, I need to think about what it is I want to find out and how/if the appointment will benefit me. Atm I’m thinking, have the consultation and find out if I will need to procedure and take it from there. I think I need some kind of peace of mind.

@msqueenofthenorth I think the main thing to avoid is Vitamin A, but yes I think it’s recommended to speak to your GP before TTC just to be sure 😊 thank you, hopefully I’ll have more answers after my appointment on Friday. 🤞🏻

Hi @MayDay27 - I know what you mean I thought it was just me who planned, so nice to see other people do too! I see what you mean about the career, it depends how you feel about it, you’ll do the teacher training and then be a NQT but then you’ve done it and won’t put it off any longer. It’s a tricky one but you should do what makes you happy, what does your partner think? Would you consider doing the training a bit later on once you’ve had a baby? I’ve been at my job for 2.5 years now and was considering moving to another firm but in the end thought I should stay, I quite like where I work now and I’d get the enhanced mat pay, I’m also a creature of habit but there’s no right or wrong.

@JamesZebra really dumb question here - so you pee on the stick everyday and then see how fertile you are based on the strength of the colour, is that how they work? I find them so confusing 😂. Yeah I checked her out she also works on the NHS so Im going to do the initial consultation and then hopefully move over to Nhs or my private healthcare said they would cover me for my periods being terrible but not fertility-related so I’m hoping I could go there for periods and be covered if that makes sense?

@Nate1 I’m not entirely sure why were waiting 😂 we bought our house last May so we’ve been here over a year, I’m hoping it’s because my bf has some grand proposal planned 😂

Hello! Can I join in? I’ve been in preconception planning mode for a couple of months now and good to know I’m not the only one!

We are going to start officially trying in October. Until a few weeks ago I had been waiting to speak to my consultant about where I stood on trying - I have an ongoing medical issue and the advice I was given when I started treatment two years ago was not to get pregnant whilst receiving this medication. That was fine two years ago when we thought the treatment would only last three months, but I’m not going to be done any time soon and at 32 I’m not getting any younger. Fortunately I’ve been told I’m fine to try as long as I let them know once I’m actually pregnant so we can revise my treatment plan!

I had my Nexplanon implant removed last week so am hoping my cycle returns soon. Started temping just to get into the habit and have been taking prenatal vitamins.

I’m also hoping to lose some more weight before we officially start trying - I’m down 10kgs in 2020 and I think another 5 - 7kg is doable before October. Like @MsQueenInTheNorth I also did Couch to 5k earlier in the year and I’m now running 15 - 30k a week consistently (albeit at a glacial pace!)

Welcome @queenatom. You're in a similar boat to me Tbh. We are looking to start trying in October (hopefully if all medicstion goes right). I turn 32 next month. Welcome to the club.

Wow everyones taking their fitness so well. I need to start doing more exercise. I'm. Shit at it Tbh

The only thing i would recommend for ttc is that you are MARRIED.
Unless of course you have independent income or a mat leave deal that pays you 100% until you return (including pension contributions).

If he isn't prepared for that then he isn't contributing to your sacrifice for HIS child.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 i pee in a pot and dip the stick in. you get a control line to show it has worked and then a second line which can vary in strength/colour, the line should be dark to match the control line if you are having a spike in LH which happens when you are ovulating. When it shows you are ovulating thats the time to get jiggy.......thats my understanding anyway. I thought you would only get one day of a strong line......mine has been strong for 2 days. I will see what tomorrow holds.

Hi, can I join.

All very new to this. I'm 31 this month. Just finished my last pill packet June 21st. Started taking folic acid and drinking less alcohol to try prepare my body. Been on pill for 10 years.
Don't mind when I concieve but would like to have a late Spring/early Summer baby.
After coming off pill we said we wait until Aug, but had unprotected sex last night and had my withdrawal bleed last week. So I doubt I'm ovulating. Famous last words 🤣

@sunflowersaremyfav93 It‘s great that you live in your house! I‘m always envy of you guys in England because you often seem to be quite young and homeowners. I am married but no house :D and tbh not for a while I think.. :(

Hi @KittyT30 I would like to have a late spring early summer baby too. :)

@JamesZebra Ah thank you I’m going to start using them next month so I have an idea of whether my app is accurate.

Hi @kittyT30 Ah exciting, I think Folic is one of the most important ones, are you going to speak to your doctor beforehand?

@Nate1 A lot of my friends aren’t homeowners I think it just depends doesn’t it. I’m sure it’ll happen soon 🥰

@disorganisedsecretsquirrel I personally don’t think it’s necessary to be married.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I haven't spoken to my doctor. The way things are at the min it is impossible to get an appointment unless emergency or urgent. I would considering myself to be in good health, just need to start getting more fruit and veg into my diet. Very thin last year for my wedding, but managed to put on about 8pounds which is prob better for convincing.

So many of my friends say when is the right time to have a baby or start trying. Things like job, wedding, house, commitments make you think I will wait until next year, month etc. Many people do it and they haven't got everything together. But it all works out.

My twin fell pregnant in her first cycle last year, wonder how things will go for me.

I'm not married, I have been with my partner 5 years and we have owned our own home for 3 of them. I would love to get married but we just can't justify the cost at the moment.

I feel secure in my relationship that being married isn't needed immediately.

@Nate1 thank you! I think I just had a bit more perseverance this time, I’ve started it a couple of times before but not finished it. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep it up! Your hiking sounds great, I wish I lived someone that had slightly more exciting walking routes! I think yoga is a great idea, I know I definitely need to work on my core strength. Not so much for conception but for actual pregnancy and birth!

Hi @queenatom, fellow Couch to 5k-er! My next step is to get a little bit faster, but a glacial pace (which is my current effort too) is definitely better than nothing!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 It doesn’t have any vitamin a in, but it does say to check with a doctor before taking it if you’re pregnant. Hopefully it will be OK!

My boyfriend and I aren’t married (obviously, or I wouldn’t be referring to him as my boyfriend ) but if we do start trying in the new year then I will want a plan put in place for when we are going to get married, and I’d ideally want to be married before I finished maternity leave. Not so much for romantic or commitment reasons (although obviously that would be nice too!) , but just for the legal protection that come with it. It’s not for everyone though!

@wrensandrobins Agreed! I’ve been with my bf for 6 years and owned our home for just over one year and we’re perfectly happy and made the joint decision tostart a family. We’ve had plenty of horrible things come our way, trials which really do test you as a couple. whatever works for other people but saying you HAVE to be married just seems a bit archaic to me doesn’t it?

@KittyT30 I got a phone appointment within a few days I don’t know if it varies from surgery but they might be able to give advice over the phone but to be honest the basics are eating well, folic and Vit d, healthy weight and exercise (which I really need to start doing). Aw that’s so nice about your twin and must make you feel positive. Did she do anything to prep?

You’re right, my mum says you’re never ready to have a baby!

I dont think that's its necessary to be married (I am) but I do think there are things to consider if you aren't and not for maternity leave reasons (although that is a consideration and I know people who have been caught up for it). It's more that, whilst the vast majority of pregnancies are safe there are dangers to it and if something should happen to you a partner wouldnt automatically have rights to make medical decisions for you or the child or automatically be the father of the child legally if the worst were to happen. Similarly if you own a home together there may be inheritance tax implications if you aren't married and you'd be forced to move out of your home.

You don't need to make a big hoha you can literally do it in half an hour in a town hall but it does mean much better legal position. But maybe I'm morbid haha.

I thjnk everyone has to do what's right for them though. Marriage or no marriage is up to them as a couple

Good morning ladies!!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I hope you are feeling a bit better today! Agree with the others! Stay away from google!

@butterfly5291 ooo I'm so excited for you! you will have to keep up updated with your journey!

@MsQueenInTheNorth I have just started Couch to 5 K, absolutely loving it! On week 4 at the moment.

So good to see other ladies on here too! Lot of us seem to be on a fitness journey and quite a few planning to start TTC in October! We will all have to start another October thread when we get there.

I placed an order to ebay this morning for some balloons as its DH birthday next week and thought I might as well get some OPKs while I am at it, saves me doing 2 separate orders! so looking forward to getting them and testing them out!

@JamesZebra so you can't just pee on them? gonna have to hunt down a pot I'm willing to pee in. Is there a set time a day you usually test? sorry if you have already said this!

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend! I'm starting AF today and really hoping I can get my run in before it starts, although I have to admit, this is the first time in a long time I don't have any major PMS symptoms. Since coming off the pill last year, me and DH have just been relying on the withdrawal method, and I do sometimes get anxious around my AF time because although its unlikely, I know it is possible!

@CookieMonster3001 I think they come with the pot no?

@sunflowersaremyfav93 stay away from Google!

It's my wedding anniversary tomorrow. Not quite how I imagined my first anniversary. It's going to be quite disappointing. We aren't even doing presents as we said we'd rather keep the money for something for our future house (I have asked my hubby for a mirror jewellery cupboard when we move). There's not space in the flat so presents are IOUs. It's been a bonkers year with my husband's firm collapsed the day after our wedding and he was TUPEd to a new firm, six months later his boss's business hadn't picked up and he was threatened with redundancy but thankfully got a new (and much better paid) job before he was made redundant and started that job a day before lockdown started! We lost my grandpa at Christmas, my birthday i ended up needing surgery and lockdown. But we had amazing trips to Japan and Disneyworld and Vegas as well. it's been absolutely bonkers. We hope by anniversary 2 our world may change again!

@Bells3032 from the picture, it doesn't look like the ones I got come with one? They just look like foil packets with strips in them. Might be wrong though!

Sounds like you have had one hell of a year so far. Praying you have the most amazing gift for your 2nd anniversary! Whilst we cant really do much at the moment, enjoy your time with your hubby this year :) Its mine and hubbies 3 yr anniversary in August and both of our birthdays this month and hoping it will be our last just us two!

@Cookiemonster3001
Some do and some don't. If you can't find anything else (I am pretty sure you can get urine sample pots on amazon) do you have a cap or something from a hairspray or something similar. I used to use one of those and just make sure it's washed out between uses and not put back onto the hair spray!

Oooh mine and my husband's birthdays are also in the next month!

@Bells3032 great idea on the hairspray cap!! Now I will just have to practice my aim........ haha