TTC after MC - June 2020 (Part 2)

[VP91x]

Hey lovelies ❤️

Just doing the new thread as the other is full will tag you all here - anyone else who wpuld like to join please do!

Little bit of background -
Cycle #3 TTC after MC in December
This month doing SMEP, tracking BBT and OV (CB advanced and Femometer strips), also drowning myself in grapefruit juice 😂 and will take Calc Fluor in TWW.

Sending everyone lots of luck 🤞

@SmileyT
@Rainbowhope11
@Hayleylou89
@Dipsy77
@HopeForRainbowbaby
@elliew818
@MissyBate
@MichT4
@NightDreaming
@NadJade
@Renna
@Re6ecc4

Ahhhh I’m talking myself out of it now believing I have line eyes. I can’t get it to show on the camera. It’s literally just whatever way the light hits it so I’ve convinced myself I have line eyes as one min I see it then I don’t :( maybe I’m just talking myself into seeing it. Yes I’ve taken it out of the holder and held up to the light lol suppose I couldn’t have expected anything clearly showing at only 7dpo lol

@MichT4 yes I think stress and anxiety can really affect your cycles and temping for the first time after a mc heightens that

@Hayleylou89 how many dpo where u on that pic?

My second MC my frers wouldn’t show a positive at all not then a flicker even when clear blue digitals were 1-2 positive. And I took a few frer. That was the pregnancy I carried until 7 weeks. Strange. So I dunno whether I can fully trust the frer lol I’ve heard some women aren’t sensitive to pink dye tests

@1990EM I don’t think I’ll be joining any groups until after the first scan at least when I do get pregnant for sure: it broke my heart leaving the Facebook group with my second loss and then the private WhatsApp group with the ladies on here with the third.. don’t think I could cope with feeling like the reject again lol

@Hayleylou89 aw bless !! Your hormones all over the place so expected! Aw well wont be too long and you'll know if it is a boy 😁 xx 🌈 xx I'm okay xx not feeling hopeful tbh 😓 I'm trying not to symptom spot but I have noticed I have more CM than usual . I'm not even checking CP /CM really but I've just noticed a bit more CM when I go loo etc . My ava saying temps gone down but femometer has temps going up ... so I'm struggling to rely on temping this month as it's all over the place when normally I can rely on it . Last time my temp only spiked down for one day prior to AF coming , it wasnt gradual . And my AF this time is due thurs /Friday so got a few days yet. I wont test before hand I'll just wait and see if she shows . I've also had some little abdo pains and very slight crampy feelings since last week , seems to have eased a bit but as it started last week it's not related to AF but could be anything 🤷‍♀️ I just really dont feel hopeful 😓 xx

@2020wish 8/9 dpo i was! ... and look ur not a reject atall and we are all her to support every single person on here through the good and bad moments cos lets face it none of us know if we will be in the same boat again (me included) and i might need that support which is one of the reasons iv staying in touch on this thread hopefully not and i can just sit and watch everyone else join my with their bfps though 🙏🌈 x

@1990EM how lovely that it has happened in a month where you weren’t thinking too much about tracking. So happy you got your BFP, you and all the ladies. Really hope the rest of us will be joining you soon.

It’s funny you say about the cycle you tracked temp and @elliew818 about it being stressful to you. I actually felt better doing it all, until it hasn’t given me the perfect trend and results when I wanted them, so maybe it was an underlying stress - hard to say. Like I said I’ll carry on wearing Ava because I don’t have to think about it. I just need to sync the data and not fret about what it says. Maybe the doctor is right and I may not have ovulated, it’s just so easy for her to say not to track ovulation and just wait another 3 months - it’s impossible to not think about it when a MC makes you realise how much you want it. I just keep crying today. Ridiculous given it’s just a temperature! But maybe it’s more than that, maybe it’s more stress over the past couple of weeks trying to get all the answers.
This is when I really wish I could go on holiday xxx

@elliew818 must have been so hard to lose the pregnancy at 12 weeks-can’t even imagine what you’ve been through. Didn’t realise you have DC-I guess it's reassuring to know you can carry a baby to term? I want to be a mam so bad it’s killing me every time I get my period 🙁I’ve decided something must be wrong with me and maybe I should call the doctor to get some tests done (not sure how it works) but worried they will say because I got pregnant once I’m not a priority for such tests and they could tell me to keep trying for a year counting from when the miscarriage was.
@Banbi sorry to hear AF is here-I actually feel better now than when I was getting all the BFNs-now there is some glimmer of hope a new cycle has begun and this could be the successful one 🙏 which is this cycle for you? Will you be doing anything different? I've just been juicing a grapefruit and that's my contribution to this cycle so far 😀 started using pre seed last cycle so will use this again and have just realised I only have few opks left and I decided to not order new ones with the hope I'll feel less stressed if I don't feel I need to pee on a stick every few hours to see if ovulation is here or not. Having said that I also have amazon prime so my intention can well change 😂

@Eli2020 hi hun x I feel the same as you , I keep telling myself maybe something wrong with me but also dont think theyd do any tests until been a year since MC ? I dont know how it works either xx 🤞🌈 neither of us need to go down that road xxx

@2020wish you're not a reject! Soon we will all be in a little group discussing heartburn and nipple shields 🤣 like @Hayleylou89 said 🥰

@MichT4 sending you a massive hug!! Please don't be too hard on yourself. No one's chart is perfect and charting as I said is useful in hindsight not when you're in the midst of it. Do something you enjoy today xxx

@Eli2020 sorry if you've said already. How long have you been TTC? I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you ❤️

@VP91x thank you so much, I could do with a hug. Though I think if anyone actually gave me one they'd be in for a very wet shoulder. Not sure why but it's like someone turned a tap on today! Doesn't bode well for Wednesday when my sis is having her scan!
I'm trying to keep positive and will just keep going through this TWW either way. I'm sure things will become clearer. I just need to not get wrapped up in every detail.
And although it's a long way off, she has said I can go back to her in September, so let's try and make it so I never have to see her!
I'm working at the moment, but might nip out to see my other sister and my lovely nieces, they always make me smile.

Thank you ladies. You all really are lovely. And I can't wait to be talking to you about nipple shields

xxx

Aw I know I’m not. Just feels that way joining groups and then having to leave cause my pregnancies don’t know how to stick :( next time I know I’m gonna be so scared joining one. But fingers crossed this month I’ll get the opportunity to join one. Thank you ladies x

@MichT4 sometimes we just need a day of crying and feeling all the emotions so that we can re set and have a clearer mind.

I hope you never had to go and get those bloods done from her in Sept 🥰 that will be nice to go and see your other sister. Hopefully they'll put a smile on your face and distract you a bit xx

@MichT4 we all need our down days. Let those tears out and feel ur emotions xx

@2020wish i'm like you I was holding the test at all different angles almost drawing a line on the test with my eyes

@Renna Speak to your doctor so at least you can get some advice and most importantly it can be documented. I was told from my gp that I would have to have another MC making 3 back to back then they will refer me for some test. Don't give up hope we will all get there

Congrats to all of you with your bfp hope it sticks

@2020wish I think I'm due AF the same time as you. I was really tempted to test early but it's so hard to tell at this stage. Hold off for a few days, even until wed and try again. Because it's just going to drive you mad. I'm hoping to hold out until Sunday

@2020wish I know the next day after that frer my 2nd frer was a clear positive just not the day before so that was a bit wierd and i didnt expect the cb to come up either before an frer so that really shocked me as the blue dye is meant to be rubbish so i though the cb was a dud test tbh x x

@renna aw it the awkward time of the month now where u start to feel less hope but uv done all u can this cycle so no reason to not feel hope :) plus u said ur temps hve been crazy cos of the dog etc so hard to rely on them xx the cramps do sound promising though! Xx I have everything crossed that this is ur month x

@micht4 I'm with you on the needing a good cry. Had that yesterday and felt like an absolute mess - honestly think this whole TTC journey is the hardest thing to go through but 🤞🏽 we will all have our babies to hold at the end of it.

My cycle has been all over the place too, I think that's what triggered it for me too. After thinking I ovulated at some point between CD 13/14 (counting mc bleeding as CD1) I've now got EWCM today. OPKS are showing absolute zero firmly negative. So I have absolutely no idea what is going on. Like you I'm feeling so deflated wondering am I even going to ovulate / when will I ovulate etc. The last couple of weeks have been exhausting to say the least...

@Renna thanks for reaching out 🤗 I wish the nhs would make it easier and not make us wait that long to get tests done. Before the lockdown I saw two different doctors telling them about my concerns (it was just 3rd cycle at the time but wanted to know options due to a surgery I had in the past) and they told me to not even bother them before a year has passed. I was hoping with my background they'll at least deem it important to check and not a waste a year of my life. Now that I had the miscarriage in March I'm worried they'll start counting the year from then. Which cycle is this for you?

@VP91x this is cycle 7 now. Got pregnant on cycle 3 bye miscarried shortly after and how it's 4th cycle since then. I've read here on mumsnet lots of people saying they were so fertile after their MC and got pregnant straight away and i believed the same will happen but no-currently CD2, cycle 7 ... I don't know how I'll cope if 22nd of Nov comes (when my due date was) and I'm not pregnant-I think I'll lose the plot 😢

@Eli2020 you are very strong and you will absolutely be okay. However, completely understand that due date looming over you. Mine is next month and it will be so hard if I am not pregnant. Its crazy, how doctors can just dismiss how intense it is and overwhelming. But, I suppose they need to work to some sort of guideline. I'm on cycle 5 post MC and cycle 3 TTC as didn't for the first two cycles. We will get there for sure. For every woman getting PG so quickly post MC there are 3 more who it takes longer for xxx

@mrsssk I had ewcm and then the day after i got positive opk. Good luck get ready to dtd

@Eli2020 yeah I'm similar to you with regards to cycles. I properly started TTC Sept last year . Fell in decemeber so took 3 -4 months to fall first time. Had MC /ERPC In early march. So I'm currently in 4th cycle since then .. although I dont think I ovulated the first cycle so I'd say I'm in the 3rd one of actually having a chance .. AF due by the weekend and just dont feel confident . In total I'd say I'm currently in my 6th cycle when adding up pre MC and post MC xxx we will get there eventually hun xxx just a tough journey isnt it xx I think if I'm still not successful in a few months I'd consider getting some private investigations but I know I'm probably being premature doing that as have no reason to believe anything wrong but i dunno think it's just a tough journey xxx

@Eli2020 I don't know if this is an option for you but I went privately for fertility testing, it's just really to get your foot in the door and all subsequent tests were NHS so it didn't cost very much. I think I paid £280 altogether. Hubby had his tests free and I got a hysterosalpingogram on NHS but got the test done really quickly because he referred me. I went privately after trying for 6 months. I just knew it wasn't happening.

@VP91x sorry to hear your due date is so soon. I really pray you will be pregnant until then. Nobody deserves to go through this pain. And thanks for the kind message-I should repeat to myself this last sentence more often xx

Thanks @VP91x and @2020wish. It just gets on top of you sometimes doesn’t it, guess it has to come out. I just try to stay upbeat because then it feels like it’s not stressful. Backwards way of thinking I guess.

@mrsssk gosh it sounds like we have had the same emotions. I wasn’t expecting it either so I felt a bit confused by it all.
If it comforts you, just to say again that the doctor said how normal it is not to ovulate for at least 1-2 cycles, and the fact she said my bloods wouldn’t show anything conclusive because of the hormones from being PG says a lot. I think we forget what our bodies go through getting PG and it can take a while. Hard to put that logic into practice but I’m just going to try and be kind to myself and remember that it’s a big deal and I need my body to be at its best to hold onto the next bean for 9 months.

I’m the same as you @Eli2020 with a very similar due date that I want to be seeing some happy news before. That’s why I was quite teary when she said she’d see me in September. Doesn’t seem long enough.

We’ll all get there, ladies xxx