New thread for the crazy gang - part 4!

[Mumofboys17]

Hope you don't mind - I'm taking ownership this time ladies 💁🏼‍♀️ old thread was filling up 😉😘 here we go again!!

@Ange211
@Beau20
@Danni2019
@Missgoldilocks
@Katie1109
@Fredthespider
@Langpants
@BFP2020
@WaitingOnThePositive

Plus our BFP's @Sunflower2019 @Quiffy

Apologies if I missed anyone!! ❤️❤️

@Sunflower2019 I'm not sure if that was at all helpful. But trust me when I say everything will be okay. I imagine he is just struggling. Men have a different attachment to babies than us women do. Blokes really really struggle with this kind of thing. He just needs a little reality check. If you want to leave him, leave him, take a little break away if you can (of course with the intention of coming back). Maybe he just needs some time alone to realise what's important in life (and I promise you that will be you and his child). No decent man will walk away him his baby and his babies mum xoxo

@Beau20 no worries 😊😘

@Sunflower2019 Oh love. I think you've hit the nail on the head there though, preggo hormones send you craaaazy!!
Probs a stupid question but have you actually spoken to him and told him how you feel? I agree with Beau men treat this whole thing totally different to us. My DH was fine but I found changed a lot through DS' pregnancy. At the beginning he practically wrapped me in cotton wool and was so over cautious with everything. 2nd trimester and for the most part after it was like he wasn't as bothered, hated feeling my bump for kicks and kind of expected me to get on with stuff. Towards the end he was a bit better but I think he was nervous too, just as I was! Once DS arrived he really went above and beyond. The birth was awful for us both but he was as supportive as he could have been.
My point is that this could still all turn around. Lord knows I've wanted to throw DS out the window and murder DH since lockdown happened and I'm not even pregnant!!
Talk to him. Be open and honest, you might find he opens up too xxx

@Beau20 & @Mumofboys17 thank you so much! It really helped.
We went to bed and both ended up in tears, I told him how I felt, that I still loved him but I had felt like I was losing him. What I need from him and the reality of it all and he said to me that he’s always struggled to understand his own head at times (he says this a lot) he says he loves me so much but doesn’t always know how to be. He said he’s going to try harder, and I really hope we can work it out as I know he has all the good qualities to be the best partner and dad, just he can’t be excited as there is no baby yet, that’s how he feels. I guess the lack of social activity and we can’t get out to look at baby clothes has ruined that also!

Thanks again, I read over what you both said last night twice 😂 made me feel really comforted and see things differently. It’s easier to hear when you know it’s most men that have these funny sides to them.

Lots of love xxxx

@sunflower2019 I hope you're okay ❤️ I agree with everything said. Could he maybe benefit from some sort of therapy? Just to talk through how he feels and how he doesn't understand his own head sometimes? Might help him work through some things. My dh used to Skype one to talk through work stress and anxiety. It wouldn't be for me, but it really helped him.

Plus it is really hard for them to get excited when you're the man. I've been getting infuriated that my dh isn't so into looking at every detail of the nursery or what bedside crib. But then I know I've got the nesting bug bad. Plus quarantine is FUN. Everyone is worried and fed up and we're not getting to do our usual whether it's shopping, restaurants or visiting family.

I really hope you can both work through it. When your little baby pops out he'll be beyond excited. Some just need to see them for themselves ❤️

@Sunflower2019 I promise you, you will both be fine 💕 it's soooo positive that he can recognise how he is being and wants to change. It's really reallly common for men to struggle with pregnancy/emotions/feelings. Especially when it's their first. They can feel so helpless and not sure how to behave because they just don't have the same attachment as we do. They aren't carrying the baby. When my stepdad freaked when my mum fell pregnant it was his first baby but he had been looking after me from 12 months to 4 years old before they had my sister so it's not like he wasn't used to it!

I am sure he will be the best parter and dad, it might just take a little time for him to get used to the idea all this is happening. Xxx

@Sunflower2019 if it makes you feel better, I got a tad drunk yesterday. Convinced myself I hated my OH, planned on ways to sell the house and move to Australia and set up a new life, just because he didn't hug me when I wanted him to in the garden. Honestly, I don't even know how the crazy in me kept my mouth shut and told myself to not say anything I'll regret.

Instead I took myself up to bed went to sleep at 6pm fully clothed. I'm not even pregnant! 🙈🙈

Thanks lovelies, and Yesterday was a much better day! So 🤞 he stays that way!

@Beau20 😂😂 That sounded like me pre pregnancy too! I bought him for his birthday one year a cabin in the woods, thought it would be romantic, turns out it wasn’t, it was full of spiders which I’m terrified of and moths flying everywhere which he hates, had to wee outside as the eco friendly toilet was full of creepies, we had a few drinks and it ended up us discussing his ex and turned
Into a massive row, I stormed off with no where to go for hours, I was so bored! We made up in the end but it was such a disastrous night 😂 I couldn’t wait to get home!

💕

@Quiffy hey :) have you had your scan yet?
How are you?
I’m thinking he may need therapy too, he does struggle with his own head a lot!

I have the nesting bug too, so bad! This e ole can’t shop stuck in malarkey is not helping either 😖 I’m now at the point of pram searching and I’m determined not to get rid of my fiat 500 with the tiniest boot!

I know it’s hard for them, I just want him to share some of the excitement but I doubt the lack of shopping is helping and also the lack of antenatal care/ appointments and classes isn’t making it seem more real for them!

Xxx

@sunflower2019 scan all done, they let me take a video to show DH so he was over the moon. It felt like leaving a big sad puppy in the car while I was going to the park to play without him. I’m 15 weeks today

There must be a thread on fiat 500 prams somewhere 🤔 I’m dreading the pram research. I’ve decided on the bedside crib. Found out on Saturday that DH thought a Moses basket was something religious ffs. DH is excited now though, I think the few bits of clothes from the eBay fairy are helping...

Therapy does sound like something to try. DH was really bad with work stress. The therapist talked him through it and helped him understand why and gave tips. Despite it being everything I've told him, he believed it with her. Could really help!

@Beau20 you should definitely stay, but how good does restarting life in Australia sound 😻😻 you could meet a Chris Hemsworth. He’ll be funny, pretty and make you bbq every day 😻😻

@Quiffy the moses basket had me in stitches, I'm sure my partner probably thinks the same! I'm so glad you got a video from the scan to show him ❤️

During movie night with my step sons yesterday, the eldest pointed out that our sofa is quite big and has enough space for two more children. Then told me he wanted us to "find" him a sister 😂

@Sunflower2019 hey girl glad you're all okay now ❤️❤️ keep your chin up :)

@Quiffy glad to hear everything's good with you too xx thank god they let you video it!! That's awesome x

Nothing new here really, haven't really been on mums net, think I've sort of given up on getting pregnant and have to wait till corona is finished to get my tubes looked at. We are still going to try but I'm not obsessing anymore my head can't take it! I'll probably leave the obsessing to past 8dpo haha. This time last year I came off contraception would have thought I'd be pregnant by now so fingers crossed something happens soon.. I'm cd9 so heading into my fw. Wish me luck x

@Beau20 @Mumofboys17 hope you girls are doing okay xx

@Missgoldilocks Yeah we're as OK as we can be, thanks 😘 I'm CD18 today and FW starts today. Still sticking with every other day thus far! According to SMEP it's every other day then 3 days in a row once you get a positive OPK. Then a rest day, then DTD one more time. Exhausted already 😂 but it's working OK for us so far. We're also taking daily vitamins now too. Xx

@Quiffy we had a next2me and it was the best! It physically attaches to your bed, obviously I don't know what your feeding choice is (and either is fine IMO!) but I bf DS exclusively, and the next2me was a game changer. Once he was a few months old I could slide him into bed with me and feed laying down then slide him back with minimal effort 😂😂 didn't even open my eyes most nights hahaha which is the aim! 😂😂 xx

@Katie1109 haven't seen much from you lately hope you're doing OK? Xx

@Quiffy another vote for the next to me crib. We had a rocking crib in the bedroom and after a month bought a next to me and was a life changer as you didn't really need to get out of bed for feeding just as @mumofboys17 says wish I bought it in the first place. It was also quite easily transportable for staying at other people's houses as stayed at my parents a bit. I wouldn't have done without it. X

@Mumofboys17 thank you 😊..I think I will wait a while, maybe a couple more months, then see what the doctor says!!

@Mumofboys17 @Danni2019 thanks ladies! I think I'm going to go for a Snuzpod 3. It was between it and the next to me. I think they pretty much do the same but I'm drawn to the Snuzpod for some reason.

@quiffy I had a moses basket but ended up sleeping with my son anyway 😂 I'd probably get one of those ones that latch onto your bed now :)

Trying so hard not to symptom spot on this TWW but been feeling so tired today and moody which I usually only get the day before my period. I'm only on day 8 after ovulation so still got a while to go but first symptom I've had in a long time and hate getting my hopes up to be knocked down again but the wait until the weekend is going to be torture! X

Lockdown definitely makes the TWW much harder without the distraction of a busy life. Hope everyone else is doing ok x

@Danni2019 I agree. It's still such early days, try and wait a little longer yet. I don't think I'll be testing really early again this time as it just raises my hopes 😩
Had a load of ewcm this morning, took me by surprise as my OPK's aren't anywhere near dark enough for a positive yet. Just so happens to fall onto one of our 'on days' 😉🙌🏻 ladies would you start DTD every day now or stick to every other until OPK gets darker? Had some VERY light cramping on my left side as well.
Attached a pic of this mornings OPK 😬 the crazy is coming again I can feel it!! 🤣

@Mumofboys17 mine tend to get darker really quickly ok those OPKs and when I start to get a darker line I test again in the middle of the day and it is way darker than the morning and I test at the end of the day and it starts to be lighter again so I think my surge happens quite fast so you could try testing again later in the day and see if there is any change? That's just me though if I didn't keep testing I would miss it using those OPKs x

Morning ladies x sorry I’ve been away from MN for few days, needed to clear my head x we’re all good x I’m 2 DPO today x had my peak on Saturday morning so O day on Sunday. We DTD Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday so hopefully we’re covered, so we missed the 3rd day in the row after peak, but I’m sure I ovulated Sunday morning because of ovulation pains x Used conceive plus couple of times, so let’s see if it makes any difference x
@Mumofboys17 thanks for checking up on me x I would DTD every other day and then for 3 days in a row from peak if you can x
How is everyone else doing?

@Mumofboys17 glad you're back, we've missed you ❤️ I have nothing helpful to add to when to DTD, I still feel like we are winging it so I would just bang as often as you have the energy to do so. Which for us, is never at the moment 😂😅

Back to work for me today (from home though) and I've so far got the grand total of ZERO done. I am just not motivated, would rather be watching number jacks hahaha

@LV1987 haha bless you 😘 I was still here! Just took a step back for a few days. Felt a bit overwhelmed with everything at the moment. Totally get the lack of motivation too. I'm still working as normal (I work for the NHS) but on my days off I'm going insane. If I don't make myself get up and get dressed I'd just mope around the house all day.
Tbf sticking to SMEP has helped a bit as it gives me a bit of routine 😂😂 we'll DTD tonight as we're due to anyway then see what tomorrow's OPK says. My apps predict ovulation on Friday so we shall see! X

Morning ladies x how is everyone doing? Where are you guys in your cycles?
I'm 3DPO today and already getting impatient for whatever reason, usually the first week of TWW I'm not bothered at all. My af is due between 25-27th of April x
@Mumofboys17 how are your opk's? Progressed to peak yet? x