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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

4th chemical since May

119 replies

Whyhaveidonethis · 13/02/2020 23:45

Hi all, I feel so low. Got a bfp a few days ago and then negative yesterday morning. Tested again with a frer last night and the line was there and very slightly darker. this morning another faint line but tonight after a 5 hours hold, it was bfn again.

This happened in May 2019, then July, then September. Could have possibly had one in November too but I refused to test. Now again. What is wrong with me? What could be causing this? Has anyone had recurrent cps and gone on to have a successful preganacy?

My age is against me. I'm 41 been trying for 21 months now. I have high FSH levels but very regular but light periods.

Every chemical i have had really really strong symptoms. Yesterday and for 3 days before that my boobs were huge, I felt sick and had an awful taste in my mouth. Today its all gone.

Nor bleeding yet but its just a matter of time. I've been referred to a gynaecologist and my appointment is on 26th Feb but I'm fairly sure that they will just say its my age and do nothing.

God, this is so horrible

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 27/02/2020 11:50

I was calling everyday! @ceebee21 but they said they didn't mind :)

Sadly, no, they won't offer progesterone until we've had 4 losses - he did acknowledge that it's hard to hear that. However, they were really supportive of me going for the nk cells biopsies.

He said he was pleased we were advocating for ourselves and that we were clued up on what our potential issues are as he said there are limits to what the NHS covers. It does feel that we will have to continue to push back on the system. He said if my nk cells tests came back positive, we may find that our GP won't prescribe for us, but I'm hoping that I can get it privately through the Coventry clinic (if we need it). I do feel more hopeful that we are getting closer to understanding why this is happening to us x

ceebee21 · 27/02/2020 11:56

@VenusStarr

Ah ok, it is a shame, the NHS are so good, but I think in this particular area a lot of people end up going private as the NHS just won't/Can't offer it all.

It's good he supports the NK cell testing, I have heard a lot of them don't agree with it at all.

I know that with Dr S he seems to supply all the medication, probably because as you say GP won't do it.

When do you get your results from the coventry clinic?

x

VenusStarr · 27/02/2020 12:13

Hopefully in 4-6 weeks @ceebee21, maybe a bit quicker (I hope!)

We've got the complication that we have been referred for ivf as we're nearly 2.5 years ttc now and he said the NHS might not fund us if I need prescriptions for the nk cells! So we could have the basic ivf plan, but if I do need additional meds etc then that's a deviation from the standard so they might revoke the funding. However, we don't definitely know we need ivf - it's a bit of a minefield. First pregnancy took 16 cycles, the next 2 were both cycle 2.

His view was that if you try something and as long as it doesn't harm you then it OK. And that private clinics are more likely to do that and are not tied to following a robust evidence base - so private clinic can try new approaches. He did say its really hard to recruit women to randomised controlled trials because if there's a chance you're placed in a control group and don't get to try the new treatment, they find proope aren't keen - I understand that but it does mean that some research areas are lacking.

I also think they don't fully know why some women have recurrent miscarriages and then go onto carry a healthy pregnancy. It's such an emotive subject.

We did tell him about a story we read on the Tommy's website where someone had negative blood results but then had a follow up when she was pregnant and it showed she did have sticky blood, but only when pregnant) so we asked if I could be tested in the next pregnancy. I'll share the story here too. He's escalating that for us. I do think having someone rho seems to genuinely care and listen definitely helps (complete opposite to our fertility doctor who said I don't know why you can't conceive... Erm, we can now! 🙄)

Sorry this is so long! I'll dig out that link x

ceebee21 · 27/02/2020 12:23

@VenusStarr It is all a nightmare really, and the hardest part is there is just no definitive answer. Even if you have High NK cells etc, they may not be able to treat them etc.

It is frustrating as we have no control over it either, and timing is everything as well - always a massive wait to see everyone, then a wait for your next cycle etc.

x

Original poster
Whyhaveidonethis · 27/02/2020 12:56

It's so frustrating isn't it. All you want are answers and the system works so slowly it's painful.

I am still waiting to bleed. I really want it over and will try to get an appointment tomorrow for a follow up from last week. I want it medically managed now, this is tortuous

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VenusStarr · 27/02/2020 15:32

I hope you can get an appointment @Whyhaveidonethis 💜

Original poster
Whyhaveidonethis · 27/02/2020 20:35

Update: I've now got a slight amount of brown blood and my boobs are agony. Maybe it finally happening and we can move on.

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 27/02/2020 21:10

I hope this is the start of your af @Whyhaveidonethis and you're not in limbo any more x

Original poster
Whyhaveidonethis · 27/02/2020 21:34

Thanks @VenusStarr I never thought I'd wish for AF so much. Don't know what to do about TTC now, I'll probably just get straight back to it, but right now not sure I can face it

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VenusStarr · 28/02/2020 08:34

How are you today @Whyhaveidonethis? I think taking a break would help me but the reality of taking a break is I'm more stressed than ever.

ceebee21 · 28/02/2020 09:37

@Whyhaveidonethis @VenusStarr I keep thinking about taking a break, but I know I would 100% be thinking it could have been it this month, it could have stuck etc, you don't know unless you try.

But it is highly depressing going into it just thinking that even if you do fall, you will likely miscarry!
x

Original poster
Whyhaveidonethis · 28/02/2020 09:57

Exactly how I feel @ceebee21 and @VenusStarr plus as I'm 41, time is running out. I'm bleeding heavily now with really bad stomach cramps. Luckily I'm working from home today

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VenusStarr · 28/02/2020 11:04

It's such a conflict in my head @ceebee21 @Whyhaveidonethis, I believe until we have some answers I'll not carry a pregnancy to term, but my head and body are saying but you have to try! I'm so tense at the moment, going to bed with a tension headache and waking up with it. I feel horrible. I 'should' use this time productively to look after myself, but I've actually just ground to a halt.

I'm sorry you're in pain @Whyhaveidonethis, it's like another punch in the stomach isn't it. Glad you can work at home today. I'm pleased you didn't need a medical intervention but it's still crap ❤️

How are you today @ceebee21? x

Original poster
Whyhaveidonethis · 28/02/2020 12:07

I just went to have my fertility blood test as requested by the gynaecologist. 8 vials!!! He is checking my lupus anticoagulant, along with about a million other things including my thyroid. I can't read the form, will try to post a picture to see if any of you can work it out, but the MN app isn't working or the mobile site.

@VenusStarr, that is exactly it. I am sure I will not carry to term unless we find out why I keep having losses, but my head won't let me not try!

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ceebee21 · 28/02/2020 12:15

@VenusStarr @Whyhaveidonethis

I am not bad, abut to go into my fertile period so I am always ok around this time, it's when AF arrives I go into deep depression!

That's good new about the blood tests, sounds silly but you sort of hope hey find something, so that there is some kind of answer. Then the question is can they do anything about it!!!

Hayd88 · 28/02/2020 12:36

@whyhaveidonethis I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, and sorry I'm a bit late finding this post. I had 4 chemical pregnancies last year, one after the other. I'm about to turn 40 but was able to conceive fine with my firstborn. I have met many women who have gone through this and my heart goes out to you, it's devastating. I am currently taking 1200mg progesterone daily as my recurrent miscarriage clinic prescribed it to me. You may find they do the same - you need it to be able to progress any pregnancy and your levels might just be too low. Hopefully they will prescribe it to you immediately (it's expensive, just warning you!) and you can start post ovulation in your next cycle. She also prescribed low dosage baby aspirin too... xx

Original poster
Whyhaveidonethis · 28/02/2020 15:35

@ceebee21 Weirdly that's how I feel...if they find something then maybe it can be fixed. If it is just age related then it is probably hopeless.

@Hayd88 I just hope that it doesn't take too long to be seen in the recurrent miscarriage clinic. Now that I have had blood done i want it to move forward. I might ring the hospital and ask. The only time I have had my progesterone levels taken, I was unknowingly pregnant (with my first chemical)so that may have thrown it out

OP posts:
Original poster
Whyhaveidonethis · 29/02/2020 11:48

TMI ALERT I'm so confused. I passed what I think was the pregnancy last night. It dropped out in the shower and really did look like a small placenta with attached sac and a form in it. I collected it into the tub the hospital gave me and took it in for testing. Thing is, since then I've had no bleeding. I feel really unwell still as I seem to still have a really upset stomach and I have a raging headache. Just feel like crying.

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 29/02/2020 11:54

I'm so sorry @Whyhaveidonethis, I hope that testing might give you some answers.

I found with my missed miscarriages once I'd passed the pregnancy sac that my pains eased. Can you rest today? It's physically and emotionally brutal xx

Original poster
Whyhaveidonethis · 29/02/2020 12:15

I got passed from pillar to post at the hospital. Consultant had told me to take it to antenatal ward, I rang them they said to go to A&E, no way I was going there, I was meant to be on an ambulance shift there today and had to call in sick. So I went to the antenatal ward anyway, they sent me to delivery suite, where I cried!! They took pity on me once I explained why I didn't want to go to A&E and took the sample for testing.

You are right @VenusStarr it's exhausting. I just want to curl up and cry

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VenusStarr · 29/02/2020 12:32

I think it's OK to cry ❤️ I'm glad you've been able to take the day off, it helped me to take time out from real life for a while, just to give myself space but I also struggled to function.

I'm sorry you had such a horrible time at the hospital too xx

Original poster
Whyhaveidonethis · 03/03/2020 18:35

I'm still not bleeding. Don't know what else to do. I saw my GP yesterday who told me that as long as I've had a negative pregnancy test then there is clearly nothing in my womb and so I don't need to bleed.!!! Not sure what medical school he went to, as I seem to recall womwn have periods every month. I feel so miserable

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ceebee21 · 03/03/2020 20:13

@Whyhaveidonethis that is odd? All I know is when I had my chemical they started to go negative, but I did start bleeding whilst it was still positive. I didn't pass anything significant though, just a few more clots than normal.

@VenusStarr got my letter today and my appt is on 16th March, really positive knowing it's so soon x

VenusStarr · 03/03/2020 20:25

That's really good news @ceebee21, I'm glad that's not far away. I took a list of things I'd read about that I thought might have been the cause. I'd read Professor Regan's book - everything you need to know about miscarriage and that helped. Our consultant listened and answered all our questions. Hope you have a similar experience.

I'm sorry you still haven't bled properly @Whyhaveidonethis and that your doctor is so passive. Would it be worth getting a private scan for peace of mind? I appreciate you shouldn't have to though ❤️ did your GP not offer to do bloods?
How regular are your cycles usually? Do you track with opks or bbt? Just wondering if you will just go onto the next cycle?