Anyone TTC first baby, aged 35 or over?

[Honolulu1]

Hello ladies,

Just looking for some pals who are in similar situation to me - hopefully we can support each other in this emotional journey. I'm 35, OH is 38 and we've been TTC first baby for over 12 months overall now (11 months trying). I naively thought it would be easier (emotionally and physically) than this. We sadly miscarried early in Sept so feeling even more cheated that we don't have out BFP by now. My GP has done tests which have all come back normal and have been referred to gynaecology, 1st appt in March. No idea what to expect from that

Would love to hear from others in similar situations, for a bit of moral support. I'm currently 2dpo; feel I should be more than used to 2ww by now, but it doesn't seem to get any easier x

I was going to crack on, because it didn't look like we were getting married in a hurry. But then when we came to booking it (booked it with only 9 months notice anyway) I decided to wait and then TTC after.

Hi everyone, so happy so see this thread. I'm 36 my DH is 40, this is our 4th month ttc our first and I hear my own thoughts and worries in so many of the posts I've read already! AF literally just started today and I'm at work, in pain, and feeling so demoralised and set right back at the beginning of things. We also waited until wedding / house / job factors were all in line and then, of course, now everything is as good as it could be.... Tumbleweed.
But hey, for now I'm buying a bottle of red wine on the way home and going to have a little cry and get ready to start again.

Where's everyone else cycle wise?

Hey all, I'm 40, partner is 39, been together 4 1/2 years and ttc our first. I came off the mini pill in August, although I had regular (every 28 ish days) 'periods' my periods came back properly almost straight away but took a couple of months to settle back down.

I'm currently 10dpo, have had dizziness, feeling faint, weird heart rate, headaches, neck aches and spotting in the last few days. I did a one step test earlier and am convinced there was a vvfl there. Will do a frer on Thursday 🤞

Evening everyone! Hope everyone is doing ok today.

I keep reading that's twins are more common in "older"  women - something to do with both ovaries releasing eggs because they want to get use out of the "last" ones haha! Who knows. We want to have two so part of us wouldn't mind doing it in one go , but then a big part would be like "oh shit!"! Plus, I'd quite like two rounds of maternity leave (and pay).

@Honolulu1 Congrats 🥳 on your engagement and snap! We got engaged in November. We haven't progressed wedding planning as would like to see how this pans out first with deciding on dates, etc. I'd be leaning towards before any baby is born and I'm also happy to keep it small, simple but lovely too.

@AsSurprisedAsYouAre good call on the red wine! Its generally what I turn too 😂

I’m 3 DPO so currently googling everything and wishing the next couple of weeks away. Not sure how many months I’ll be able to do this for!!

@MimiArm I keep hearing rhe same, there are twins in my family so I've got a higher chance anyway and think it would be good to get 2 😊

I'm now 41, TTC 8yrs with 2 losses, and FINALLY starting IVF in March. Started TTC about 34. Saw GP before TTC and all good to start. A year later saw her again, but was told she woudlnt do any tests as I was 1 week off TTC 12mths, only 11.5mths!!! Told not to stress and relax! (I was far from stressed then).

I was working away often, so didnt worry too much. Saw GP 6mths later who did bloods, all normal, and no futher tests or referrals! Again, told to relax! More working away and changed GP, then had the 2 losses. Last one was 2yrs ago. Seeing IVF nurse this week to get more info.

After my experience, I'd say if you are over 35 and have tried a few months, see your GP ASAP! I know they say wait till TTC 6mths, but I now wished I'd insisted on checking much sooner. Good luck everyone.

Hello! 41 and ttc for 15 months. All normal on tests except for endometriosis. Dh ok. Could really do with some moral support! I thought it would be easy once we decided to start....cue hollow laughter... been total hell. Considering IVF soon...

@MimiArm I'm 38 and the doctor also told us about the twin possibility... I was trying to clm my DH telling him: "Don't worry, it's only 5% possibility" and he was like: "we should ask the doctor how we can increase our chances on getting twins!" LOL
So with his answer I want twins now! It's our first so if we can get two in one shot, it would be nice! I would be happy with one or two anyway!
@claireb707 there are twins in my family and in my DH family as well! So maybe we will get a double gift!
@AsSurprisedAsYouAre good choice on the red wine! I do the same everytime I get AF!
I'm currently 5DPO!

@paintfairy we do not want to wait on the TTC because of my age (38). That's why we're doing marriage/TTC on one shot! Anyway, I already told family and friends that we are not in a hurry with the marriage thing
And besides our parents, no one knows about TTC We don't want the pressure!

Hi everyone, lots of new people joined in which is great. Hope you’re all fine wherever in your cycle you are.
@Elouera good to have reassurance about maybe seeing a doc sooner rather than later. I’ve been thinking about it. I’ll be a Year trying the end of May but I’d rather get some help and advice soonish.
Also twins would be amazing, I’d love a set of multiples!!! I’ve had EWCM today and due to ovulate sometime in the next few days according to my two apps so baby dancing ahoy here.

Hi everyone, I'm 37 and TTC #1, so glad to have found this thread for support too. We will be on 4th cycle trying this month. I just had a 40 day cycle (normally 26-29 days) so of course hoped I was pregnant but no such luck. Now back on CD2....

Another tip to help others. Hubby and I were overweight, not obese, were fairly active, regular periods and ate a very good and varied diet. We had TTC 4yrs by then. We both lost 10kg each and got pregnant for the 1st time the next month. Unfortunately, then had our 1st loss, but I do think the weight loss helped.

Also keep note of your weight if IVF might be needed. Some trusts (UK) only cover cycles if you BMI is within a certain range, so check your areas rules. I lost the kg's again to qualify for IVF, but from losing the weight to actually starting the IVF, its likely to be 6mths.

Lots of wedding vibes on this thread 😀 Congrats on your engagement too @MimiArm! We have booked our wedding already, for June this year....it's almost like I've been waiting for him to propose for the past 9 years 🤔 Just having a small low key wedding so not too crazy to plan. Saying that, we've arranged a lot of it already, so I'm fast running out of TWW distractions....help 😂

Mauritius sounds amazing @paintfairy! There are so many places i'd like to go. Honolulu (you'll never have guessed) being one of them! Expensive flights though.
September is a great month for a wedding @Morgane777! We did think about waiting until after a pregnancy so I can get merry on wedding day, but who knows when that will be so I don't want to put things on hold any longer. It's nice to have something positive to look forward to and a flowy/boho dress would be nice @EB211.

Temp dropped again 3rd day in a row, think it means my body was deceiving me, no idea what caused the hot flushes and dizziness then 😢 am a little bit gutted as I thought I was definitely in with a chance here.

Really hoping it wasn't signs of early menopause 😢😢😢

@claireb707 mine has dropped for the second day also. So feeling miserable. Also having early menopause worries but I'm sure its TTC messing up cycles and throwing up symptoms. I've definitely had things happen in TTC months that I never have before? Being so hot in the luteal phase being one of them.

Hello to the new ladies to this thread @AsSurprisedAsYouAre, @claireb707, @Elouera, @TigerJoy and @Bearhug9. Sorry I did type out a message to you last night but it hasn't uploaded so will try again!

Sorry that AF has come to visit @AsSurprisedAsYouAre - wine sounds lovely though. I've been doing dry Jan, but will defiantly be getting out a bottle if AF arrives next month. I'm either 5 or 6dpo now, so expecting AF next week x

@claireb707 - Your faint line sounded really positive - but I know what you mean about temp drop - this usually happens to me before AF, but could also be a faulty temperature. It's so frustrating that the rise in progesterone in luteal phase seems to mimic pregnancy symptoms. Are you due AF on Thursday?

@Elouera - I'm so sorry for you losses - those must have been incredibly heart breaking. I hope it goes well speaking to the IVF nurse this week. I was quite insistent that my doctor refer me on to Gynaecology for support/further tests so really pleased that she did as it will have been a 3 month wait for my appointment in March.

@TigerJoy - I'm with you on the total hell comment. I've never felt so defective in my life than with this while TTC business. But I have to remind myself that it happens to lots of couples who have been trying for a while, not everyone (although it may feel like it) gets pregnant straight away - hopefully this with be our year :)

@Bearhug9 - a 40 day cycle is really mean isn't it - how frustrating that happened. I had some longer than usual cycles last year after MC and really got my hopes up..only to be disappointed. I always quite like CD's 1-10 as I give myself a bit of a break from it all, and it usually doesn't consume my every thought.

Congratulations on your BFP @MLR11 :)

Not sure if anyone has seen this before, but I saw a link to this website on another thread - it shows symptoms of pregnancy at each DPO that pregnant women experienced and gives a guide of when you should test, among other insights...

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/

Have a nice day all x

I guess it could be faulty temp as I've had a lot less sleep than normal the last few days (lots on my mind at the moment, not least ttc)
I use a normal bbt thermometer as well as an Ava band.
Am due on on Saturday, think will still do a test tomorrow but will see what happens

Hi everyone! This is a great thread to have found.
@honolulu1 I am 37, also had a miscarriage early sept at around 9 weeks (first attempt at TTC)
Left trying again until the New Year to let my body recover so coming up to month 2 of TTC this time - last time that was when it happened for us.
Due to ovulate on monday so had lots of plans to capitalise on it over the weekend but i have been struck down with flu so not sure we'll be able to this month!
Also turning 38 on Monday...

@Honolulu1I just had a quick look at that website, it seems really good and very informative! Thanks :) x

Hello ladies!
For those who have been worrying about early menopause, I've been there too! I totally understand!
Last october I was having hot flashes and then my breasts always hurt during luteal phase... when I went to Dr. Google, those were all signs of early menopause!!
DH told me I was just being crazy!
Anyway, I had my bloods retaken this year. Last year I had some hormones checked as well. I think I'm getting older, but I'm still Ok... It's normal at this age to worry about it.
In October 2018, I had this: FSH 7.8.; AMH 1.95.
November 2019: FSH : 7.7.; AMH : 1.60.
So my FSH didn't change a lot, but I was worried about my AMH. My doctor didn't comment...
Have you taken these tests?

Hello @Morgane777

AMH is how many eggs you have left. Don't worry about it. The fertility doctor I said that it makes no difference to trying to conceive naturally - as long as you are producing an egg every month, which I am (did you have the comparative hormone tests done to show whether you're ovulating?). Mine is 4.2.

He also said the only difference with AMH and IVF is you need to take more drugs to stimulate egg growth - there's also a chance that I might not respond at all and may not produce any eggs. My doctor friend who is TTC says it doesn't make much difference either (hers is also low and she's not worried about it at all).

However he was very clear that AMH levels make bugger all difference to TTC conceive naturally.

Hey ladies.
Your thread just popped out to me as I spent a couple of years ttc and had 1 mmc and a chemical but I finally got my rainbow baby boy in October!
While on my journey I found it was very important to take my temp every morning at the same time before doing anything to really see when I was ovulating. Those opk sticks are good but they don’t actually tell you when you have and to be honest you might not ovulate just because you get smily face. Only way to really know is by tracking your cycle.
I used an app called fertility friend. Put temp in every morning and when you ovulation happens your body temp actually rises slightly.
But temp must be taken before you step out of bed, no having drink anything! I temp vaginally but some temp in the mouth but I found I slept with my mouth open sometimes which affected my temps
Look up that app and it will give heaps of information

Hey @TigerJoy !
Thanks for the info! I haven't had any stimulation yet. I don't know if I'm ovulating... I didn't take that test you tell me about (comparative hormone test).
I've been using OPK and did temp tracking during two months. According to my app (Fermometer), I did ovulate.
But temp tracking is not easy (you need a good night sleep, do not move, do not drink, etc.). I usually wake up during the night to go pee, etc. So I don't know if I can trust my measurings.

Thanks for the welcome @Honolulu1, it's nice to find people of a similar age. I had my bloods done after 2 extra long cycles last year (36 and 43 days), I had slightly low LH levels but then they were back to normal at the second test. My GP suggested it was likely due to stress