ttc after mc July/August 2007 - shiny new thread as the other was full

[winemakesmummyclever]

Hi,

I hope nobody minds me adding a new thread, but the other wouldn't let me reply.

LadyLush - Sorry to hear about your loss . In answer to your question, I thought I was around 11-12 weeks pg, but the scan said the baby was around 8-9 weeks. When I'd had the ERPC, the gynae reg said the uterus was around 14weeks and the baby was still 8-9 weeks.
I'm sure things do get better with time, but things are still pretty raw and new for me. I'm glad things are getting back to normal for you (and hopefully for others too).

Hello Torres
My due date would also have been next weekend - you're doing the best thing by getting away. I heard after my miscarriage that the due date would be hard and it is, as soon as Sept started, found myself thinking why, why why.
I had a miascarriage at 10 weeks back in Feb and its taken till last week for a period so feel have lost time. Long story but they ended up having to put a camera inside and having to have a bridge/wall cut out my uterus. Oh well time to be positive and move forward.
Good luck to everyone - hers looking forward to summer 08 babies

Hello ladies sorry not to have been on for a while - been feeling seriously rough because..... BFP!!!
Very very excited but also wobbly, my due date from the mmc was next week.
Can I stick around? xxx

Congrats zamMummy! Lovely news x

Torres and Dubaidiva - keep your chin up ladies - the due date will pass. Mine was supposed to be next week and my SIL was/is due same day. Am going to eat LOADS of chocolate and try to ignore it.

Jo & ZamMummy - it's so lovely to hear such great news, it spreads such positive vibes through the thread for all of us .

Flosspot - lol - wish you could have seen how much wine I consumed in my student days - must have made me a bloody genius

Just got back from Ikea - went for a plant pot and a roasting tin, but ended up spending £100! They must pump some kind of shopaholic-inducing chemical through the air con!

Hugs to Torres and DubaiDiva - hope that you both are getting the love and support that you need in the coming days.

Zammummy- yippee- what fab news!!!! We'll have to rub your tummy when you come over for the cake-fest....and stick around for as long as you need.

Torres and Dubaidiva- thinking of you both Sending hugs and positive vibes, esp. for torres- hope you will be joining zammummy soon!

WMMC- Ikea is an evil place made to make you spend money on things you didn't really need. Have a glass of wine, it'll make you feel better.

Hello all.

Dubaidiva-
oh how awful for you to have had to undergo all that worry and another operation. You must be so relieved that your period has returned - a sign your body is healing and getting back to normal. I remember reading a post on here about a woman who has something similar to you and she went on to have 2 healthy DCs. As you say, we all deserve a great 2008. I agree about September's arrival bringing on the wobbles. In a way I want the date to arrive and pass as i think I am getting more in a state about it now than I will on the day iyswim?

Zammummy- congrats! that's fab news! i can understand you still having the wobbles about your due date next week. A new baby doesnt replace the one we lost. Hang around as long as you like!

Ellie- good to hear from you hun! and sorryto hear you have a double whammy with your due date. I think your idea is great- chocloate is a great healer- I plan to have lots!

crossposts there flossy and wmmc

thank you both for the hugs and vibes.

I agree with flossy- IKEA is evil, I am always astounded by the bill every time!!

Congratulations Zammummy

Thanks Gilly- that's really helpful advice. Birth announcements tend to send our small office into a frenzy- big white board messages, lunchtime drinks, cards, pressies and group emails of photos. I think I will have a quiet word, I really can't face that. I think I'll try and work at home for that and any baby visits too. Good idea!

Flossie - so sorry to hear you have also moved from the Due in march 08 thread over here there are so many us now I had a scan at 8 weeks and found baby had not got past 6 either. At 10 weeks I had a natural mc at home. Also second the physically OK mentally all over the place.

So sorry to everyone coming up on their due date I know no matter what March next year will be tough.

Zammummy - great news on the BFP wishing you a good pregnancy and birth.

flosspot - wow your busy alright, hope you get time to relax and get in some BDing too x

WMMC - glad you are having a better day today, agree about IKEA everything is so cheap and useful you think wow a bargain then your trolley comes to £200

I've had a horrid couple of days too yesterday was really down in the dumps today a bit better I keep thinking I should be 13 weeks pregnant by now getting a little bump I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. Trouble is I don't know whether to ttc no 3 or not, head says no heart and body say yes. Theres 25 reasons to stick at 2 but only 1 to have another baby because I want one. Would it make the 2 I already have lives worse by having a third??? I'm all over the place, I have these thoughts last time even though DC3 was planned and that made me feel really guilty when the mc happened, oh I don't know....

Hi everyone

Congratulations to Zammummy!!!!

I generally feel much better during the day but keep having really realistic horrid dreams. Last night i dreamt that i had the homebirth i planned and then they wouldnt let me keep the baby. DH said i was crying in my sleep (Yeek thats a bit worrying!). As i was waking up this morning and still a bit dozey it took me a while to work out if i was still pregnant or not - not a great way to start the day.

Has anyone else had wierd dreams or am i going mad?

Then went to work and bumped straight into pregnant colleague - had to sit in toilets for 15 mins trying not to cry - not a great day!

Hope everyone else is ok x

Hello all!

CONRATULATIONS to Zammummy !

Torres and Dubaidiva, I feel for you both, with your due dates on the horizon. I had mine on 1st July, and, as Gilly says, the days just before were the worse. We decided to spend the day together, and went to buy a climbing rose to plant to mark the date, and remember what should have been. It did help, and after the date I did begin to feel more a sense of closure, as though I had to get through the duration of my pregnancy. It will always be my first baby, nothing will ever change that. Thinking of you both.

Torres, where are you going to in the Lakes? It is our "special place" ...It sounds good for you, on the cd front, hope this is the month for you .
hopefully our month too, as we have tried our hardest this month.
Pipsqueek, I had my mc in December,it was later diagnosed as a partial molar pregnancy. We have been ttc since, against advice but nothing yet, I think this is my 11th cycle, as I ususally have cycles between 23 and 26 days.

hello to everyone else - waves x

Hi kensgirl- what a lovely post as always. I think you're right. I'm building myself into a frenzy about the due date - it will actually be a relief when it is the due date. I've got a box and I'm going to put in the scan pics and the cards and messgaes we received from friends. On the day itself, we plan to sit on a hill and have a cuddle and a think about what should have been.

when i say we've 'booked' a cottage, i mean we are booking... DH and I are so indecisive! so it's between ambleside and bowness. The cottage in bowness looks nicer but ambleside seems cuter. Any suggestions? any other must see spots?

AF has held off so far but I don't have any symptoms of anything still so we shall see. I have off course done no worlk this afternoon as have been going back and forth to the loo to check my knickers!!

That IS a lovely post kensgirl. I feel exactly the same way - that one will always be my first baby, but the first due date is bound to be the worst. You can only have one first one can't you?

Hello ladies. Congrats to those with recent bpfs. Sorry I have tried to catch up since being back but have forgotten much of it.

Sad for those of you with due dates looming

Glad the cake fest went well I thought it would.

Kensgirl and Torres - hope this is the month for you. Effort always deserves reward imo

Kensgirl - I have been to Barbados and Grenada (Carriacou also - one of the Grenadine Islands)but dh parents are from Guyana near Brazil and we hope to go when ds is older. My family are Irish but I was born here. Actually to be precise we are a bit of a mixture. My mums parents were both Irish (from the Republic). My paternal grandfather is Irish but my grandmother is half German, quarter basque and quarter Castillian. So naturally, the family are bonkers but a warm, friendly lot.

It was good to see my grandparents but sad at times. My granny was very poorly the first day we visited but had perked up a lot by the second day. My grandfather was not so good as it seems he has given up the will to live. He thinks the answer is to stop eating

hi ladies

so sorry to hear that due dates are imminent - hope you have a lovely time in the lakes torres, getting away has got to be nice at a time like this.

CONGRATS Zamummy and thanks Jo71 - I do love the straight-after m/c stories . . .

Thanks for the tips ronshar and everyone else. I still haven't really done my research because i am trying not to let it become this huge mission. but i have to say that much to my surprise, b/d every other day for two weeks has become rather old already. I really thought that our naive attempts at ttc would be good fun (and maybe a good workout) but its already beginning to pall . . .
maybe i should get those agent provocateur pasties i saw on another thread . . .

i work in a creative department with 15 other guys and one young girl and i didn't tell anyone that i was p/g. but its weird that i almost wish i did have more women, in pregnant ones . . . i can't believe how no-one knows what we went through (i only took one day off work for the actual d/c) and how my life has just gone back to normal so quickly - its very disconcerting actually.

anyway, will now drag myself to gym for token workout (i.e watch telly while slowly rotating on cross-trainer)

Have a lovely holiday Torres - the lakes are beautiful and the air so fresh

Hi TJuice - how are you getting on. have a look at this website - i think it is quite good (another MNetter recommended it to me).

www.fertilityuk.org/nfps25.html

Wow, ladylush, you must have a beautiful family with genes like that! Your ds must be going to break a few hearts, you'll have to post a pic! Sorry it was a bittersweet visit for you, its very difficult seeing those you love become frail when there is little you can do, except let them know you love them. Yesterday was the first anniversary of my dads death, and I remember only too clearly how it felt to watch him suffer. There is a pic of me and my dad on my profile that I have in a frame in my dining room. Not that you all really wanted to know that!

Agent Provocateur, then TJuice, hmm? if that doesn't liven up the bd then nothin will [wink}! It does get to be like another chore sometimes, doesn't it? only sometimes though, I stress!

Ellie, nothing can ever replace it, for sure. How are the dreams?

Hi Torres! Your plan sounds lovely, very personal. Hope you get through the day. The Lakes are fabulous everywhere, personally I like Ambleside as it is so pretty, and there is a lovely art shop in Bowness. Coniston is beautiful too, but more rugged, dh loves a pub there called the Black Bull, and I like to watch the sunset over coniston water. Rydal water / village is small but pretty, where Wordsworth house is, and theres a nice walk there. Another good walk is old Dungeon Ghyll in the Langdales, with a tarn at the top, if your feeling energetic. The Drunken Duck is a nice pub too, halfway between Coniston and Ambleside. My sister goes to Ullswater and Wasswater and says they are less touristy. Idon't think you can go wrong really though.
I find the lakes really help me put things in perspective, a bit therapeutic. Hope this helps - have you been before?

There's too much to take in for a newbie, but thanks for the messages of support, congratulations and good luck to those who are heading back to the ante-natal threads, and commiserations to all of us for having been through the mc s**t, especially those who are coming up to due dates.

Tjuice - I am in awe - you only took 1 day off work? After the blood loss over the weekend, the medics advised me to take the week off, but I think I'll go back in on Thursday, if I can summon up the energy.

DP and I are keen to resume TTC without further delay, but I fear that I might experience the same waning enthusiasm as you describe. I'm an all or nothing sort of person, and it's very hard for me not to turn it into a big mission and not make him feel like a mere sperm donor.

Some people on the thread have mentioned having tests following their mc. Can I be nosey and ask what sort of tests there are? I'm positive the NHS won't do anything after only one MC ("It's just bad luck / nature's way etc) but I have a leaflet for a local private fetal medicine clinic that offers post-mc investigations, at a cost of course.

On one hand, I know the chances are that it was a random, one-off genetic thing, and the tests won't find anything, on the other hand, if there are hormonal / blood clotting issues that can be treated, I'd rather know now than two more mcs down the line (I'm almost 35 and this was my first pg, so I'm feeling the biological clock time pressure). Also, if I go for it, at least I'll feel like I'm doing something, which might help.

Any thoughts / advice appreciated...

Evening Flossie, I was told that my local trust (Pennine Acute NHS - acronym = PANTS ...ok I added, the 's' ) won't do any testing until you have had at least 3 m/c (this is my 2nd ). They will do histology if you have an erpc, but no genetics initially (we asked). In addition, there is no follow up care here for me at the mo, which seems strange as have had surgical procedure after all .

Ask your local trust, it may be different.

Off to bed (well, actually in bed already) - sleep well .

Hi ladies

Thank you for all the lovely wishes for next weekend and positive vibes- much appreciated.

ladylush- your weekend sounds hard, especially with your grandfather giving up. It really is so sad and tough. Your visit would have given them such happiness though and hopefully in time you get some comfort from the thought that you did get to see them and show that you love them.

TJ- your gym approach is identical to mine! When I go (which is not very often), I always sit on the exercise bike in front of the TV or if there's nothing on I read the paper (you can see how hard I workout!). I am amazed you only took 1 day off. Don't feel guilty if you need time off later. I think I had been back to work about 6 weeks and it all got too much,, I was in tears everyday and generally feeling run down. My GP signed me off for a week and it did me the power of good. I don't want to sound like the voice of doom, you might not get like this, but if you feel off sorts or that its all too much, don't feel you have to soldier on. I think its a time for us to be selfish about our needs.

kensgirl- thank you for your tips, they are really helpful.I've never been to coniston in particular so I will definitely check that out. I have been to the Lakes before but absolutely ages ago ( a real downer of living in London is that mountains are so far away). I checked out your profile pic- it's really lovely. I'm sorry to hear yesterday was the anniversary of your dad's death. I can't imagine how tough that is but I am sending you a big hug.

flossie- I think if you can afford the tests then go for it. There is so little we can do to control this ttc business that everything we can do to help ourselves must reduce stress at least. I'm 34 and this was my 1st pg so I started getting the wobbles if I had any problems they might not be detected until it was too late. I sent myself halfmad conjuring up various scenarios of what was wrong with me. My GP suggested going for a private scan (about £100) to put my mind at rest but this actually mad me worse as I was diagnosed as having a thin womb lining- another source of paranoia. I then had to wait a while for an NHS appoiintment to discuss what this could mean. So I would say go for the tests but make sure you are given the results by a consultant to explain them on the spot rather than a sonographer as in my case.

wmmc- I agree with you about the lack of follow up care post mc. I was shocked. The operation is seen as the final stage and then that's it- as though nothing really happenned.

Well, I had a VERY odd dream last night. I dreamt that Frank from shameless offered me a glass of red wine, a line of coke and a cigarette. DH went mad and said we had to do a pg test first and whilst he was looking for it, I smoked the cigarette and really enjoyed it (very odd as I have never ever smoked!!). Anyway, this spurred me to test when I woke up and -BFP! actually, small faint positive. Of course panicked that the chinese herbs i've been taking meant it was a false positive but then I have to worry about something. I am very excited and scared as you might expect. I also feel a little 'disrespectful' to the baby I lost- but I think thats me being odd and because i've been focussing so much on the due date next week. Don't get me wrong- I am very happy