TTC after loss penguins get fit & healthy in 2020

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

This is the thread for those of us in the TTC after loss penguin huddle who want to try to eat a more healthy diet, exercise more, lose weight or just feel better physically this year
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@MrsMGE @Avocuddles @MissSparkles81 @SunshineCrocodile @Mumlili8 @VenusStarr @SunStruck

If I’ve missed anyone please tag them

How about we start by saying what our goals are whether that he the number on the scale, doing more exercise or just feeling better about ourselves?

I’m BunnytheBlueWhale (NC recently - see TTC thread). I’m 35 and probably weigh about a stone more than I’d like since I had my stillborn daughter in February. I don’t need to lose weight massively but having post-baby weight and no baby is a bit rubbish!

I’d like to lose a bit of a weight all over and also target my belly with brushing, moisturising and maybe microneedling at home...

I eat a lot of sugary snacks so want to massively reduce those and also try to take a healthy lunch to work to stop me spending so much money on food!

[Shefliesonherownwings]

Evening all, hope everyone has had a good Sunday. I am a tad hungover today. After saying to DH that I would drive last night so he could drink, his friends ended up plying us with fizz and I drank way too much. Luckily they only live 15 min drive away so we got a cab back. It was our first proper night out since losing Isla and I managed to enjoy it for the most part. I don't have many friends locally, I was looking forward to meeting some mum friends but DH's friends have been incredibly supportive to us over the past few weeks and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better and have some friends that are more local.

I am off to the gym shortly to meet a PT to discuss having some sessions to get back into exercising and building up my core strengthen again. I've started the couch potato to 5k app on the treadmill but want to get back to some strengthening exercises and i'm hoping he can help with that. One of my MILs friends works at my gym and recommended this guy. She has also filled him in on my situation so I hopefully don't need to explain.

@LASandOtto thank you for the gym clothes recommendation, I really need some leggings so will check that out. Those balls look amazing too, I am defo copying that recipe. I am very bad for snacking so need to look at healthy snacks.

@SunshineCrocodile I have the Samsung Gear Fit 2. I have a Samsung phone and they work well together. It does all the usual tracking, has a heart rate monitor and you can track you fluid intake as well. All the data goes straight to my phone which I like. It's comfortable too.

[LASandOtto]

@Seahawk80 I hope you're ok! I can imagine spotting is always worrying, but I've read many many positive outcomes of ladies who had it and all was fine!

Definitely rest up a bit and do what feels right for you! Keep us posted!

I'm going to buy the Deliciously Ella Plant Based Cookbook, I think. It looks quite good! I'm not a massive desert person so wouldn't try making those anyway. More snacks and main courses and lunches etc!

In terms of good reads:

I read Sally Rooney's Conversations with Friends and her other book Normal People too, and loved them. Easy to follow!

I also like Haruki Murakami but know what's not for everyone - I read Norwegian Woods last year and 1Q84z.

My OH doesn't like fiction so he read Homo Deus, Human Universe by Brian Cox, and Matthew Walker Why We Sleep.

[MrsMGE]

@Seahawk80 I'll be keeping everything crossed for you?! @LASandOtto added some great recommendations above (btw, sister, Haruki Murakami... I've never met anyone in RL who read him too!!!). We've started this chat on one of the previous threads, I remember writing about GG Marquez, Milan Kundera, C Ruiz Zafon etc in terms of good reads. Sure enough reading will keep you busy. Also, could you do some professional development or business development? Not sure what you do professionally? I find I get very absorbed in this kind of thing and time flies!

@Shefliesonherownwings Well done, girl. So glad to hear you had a good time and don't feel guilty re having a few drinks. It's a social occasion, you're allowed to enjoy yourself. Getting out after the loss and being around people can be very daunting (I get it). Well done you. You will feel more and more confident about this in time. Did you lose Isla last November (2019)?

Well done on the PT front as well, a very sensible decision and good that he knows about your circumstances, hopefully he'll get a nice tailored programme for you xxx

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

@Seahawk80 Hope you’re okay. I’ll look up the books. I don’t think the sweet things will be for us either.

@Shefliesonherownwings Well done for getting out. It’a important to have fun (Get drunk) occasionally

[tortiecat]

Evening all! I had to go to work today and have been looking forward to catching up with the thread once I got home.

@Seahawk80 - keeping everything crossed for you.

@Avocuddles, I hope you had a great spa day.

@MrsMGE I was drooling at the thought of your soup and lamb when I read your post yesterday! I speak from experience when I say that having your due date approach is really tough - I am glad that you and DH have something nice booked for mid-January.

@LASandOtto yesterday's dinner looked incredible - also, may I say what beautiful balls you have . Much, much better than brazil nuts!

@BunnytheBlueWhale how is your tooth? I mean your root canal tooth, not your sweet tooth (from the sounds of things both you and I have sweet teeth! When I was at work today I thought about what you said about snacks, and snacked on a banana and a tin of sardines I found lurking in my drawer!)

@SunshineCrocodile don't let me put you off barre if it is something you would like to try - I am sure you are much less Bridget / Miranda-Hart-esque (another heroine of mine) than I am! It is very different to yoga, but it's low impact and it's so challenging it effectively distracts me from feeling low / thinking about work for the full session

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

@tortiecat Tooth has been a bit better the last couple of day’s but still tender and I have to be careful eating and bending down(?!) I’m hoping I’m not struggling until my next appointment which is in nearly 2 weeks

@tortiecat @SunshineCrocodile I have tried barre and really liked it. Unfortunately the class times weren’t convenient so I didn’t carry it on but I would have.

[tortiecat]

For those of you that I tempted with my Italian dinner last night... we ended up in Pizza Express as it turned out that our lovely local Italian is closed for refurbishment. I was good and went for the holey leggera pizza with salad, then a decaf coffee instead of dessert. Quite a departure from my usual choices but I enjoyed it.

I am on leave this week - I am going skiing! You will be pleased to hear that I am about as good at skiing as I am at barre. I have only been once before and that was a few years ago now. I was worried that my ski suit wouldn't fit after my pregnancy weight gain but having loosened the waist straps to the max and tried it in the morning it does do up. Only just - obviously last night's half plate of salad made all the difference

[MrsMGE]

@tortiecat I'm just watching Miranda! 😂👏
Enjoy your skiing trip, I haven't been for years! The part I always enjoyed most was mulled wine and bratwurst 😂 But of course you burn a lot, so completely justified! Xxx

[Seahawk80]

Thanks everyone. DH and I had a good chat today and I've taken inspiration from the booking something nice for the due date (I didn't do this as I'd had a BFP and figured that was enough) if it's bad news at 7 week scan we'll book a night away to look forward to.

@tortiecat those leggera pizzas always make me laugh. DH is very much not a natural healthy eater and he ordered one once, I thought he was perhaps deciding to make an effort to be healthy and didn't want to be the kind of wife who comments....his face when it turned up, he was horrified at his tiny pizza and salad. Thinking of that has cheered me up, Thanks!

[Avocuddles]

@SunshineCrocodile I have a Fitbit versa which I love, it's waterproof so can be used for swimming and you can customise the screen in all kinds of ways as well as buy loads of cheap alternative straps online so you can dress it up or down!

Spa day was excellent, a very good distraction from my due date (middle of this week) and a great bonding experience for DH and I. The last time we visited this particular spa was around 15 months ago, long before either pregnancy, and just being there and relaxing in the various heat experiences and outdoor pool (blissful!) was just as lovely as we remembered. For any northern based penguins (or those who enjoy an indulgent night or two away) I highly recommend Rudding Park, I think the massage I had today was definitely one of the best I've ever had.
@MrsMGE I'm glad you've booked a spa for you and DH and hope it's as relaxing as ours was!

Re books I'm another Sally Rooney fan, but my favourite read of last week was 'Expectation' by Anna hope which is a novel about the ups and downs of a group of friends in their thirties. I've been reading a few memoirs recently and would recommend Educated by Tara Westover, and I am I am I am by Maggie O Farrell (though please note it does feature miscarriage). I've started using an app called Bookly to record everything I read this year, I've set my initial target at 3000 pages a month so aiming for a couple of books a week.....

[Shefliesonherownwings]

@MrsMGE yes we lost Isla in November last year, it's actually 2 months today. It's the first Sunday I have felt a little better. I'm glad we went out last night, I feel proud of myself for managing it relatively well.

Just been to see the PT recommended to me. He was very nice, bit older with three kids so perhaps understands a bit more about childbirth and recovery. I'm seeing him next week for a health MOT which includes blood sugar and cholesterol checks. Apparently it's free for members, first I'd heard of it! Then I'm having a taster session with him on Thursday and if I like him and what we do I'll book some sessions. Am quite looking forward to getting back into exercise now.

Enjoy your skiing @tortiecat and worse comes to worse, enjoy the apres ski!

Think it'll be bath and early night tonight for me, hangover still kicking around!

[MrsMGE]

@Shefliesonherownwings Just wanted to say, you're doing really amazing. I was a mess for the first few months after my MMC, I am not sure how I'd be after a full term loss, presumably the same or worse. You should be super proud of yourself. Please don't feel like you should be doing more or quicker, personally it's 6 months for me soon and only now I've been in a fairly OK place for a few weeks and able to crack on. Obviously everyone's pace is different. Remember you're already doing a great job ❤️

@Avocuddles Glad you had a lovely time, it sounds blissful ❤️ xxx

[LASandOtto]

@tortiecat ohhh Brazil Nuts! Yeah, I just find they taste like wood chips personally? I want to like them for the alleged fertility factor but we just never made friends! 

Enjoy your skiing trip. I've only been snowboarding once in my life, I spent most of the time horizontally in the snow, and with bruises the size of dinner plates on my behind. I also didn't make it off the lift fast enough and got knocked on the back of the head by the departing seat I had tried to get off. Another Bridget over here! The Apres Ski on the other hand I mastered exceedingly well  when are you off?

@Avocuddles glad you had a lovely day with DH and enjoyed some bonding time! I'm going to have to check the place out you went to! I wouldn't mind escaping the big smoke for a spa weekend, my 34th is coming up in February and I could do with a plan!

@Shefliesonherownwings great stuff seeing the PT and having found someone who will get your current mental state and also assess your physical needs. I had a wonderful PT a few years ago and I still see him now in the gym, and he still helps me out! A great PT will really get you into the mood and swing of it! It's tremendous that two months after losing beautiful Isla you're already finding motivation to do all of this! I really admire that a lot!

The leggera Pizza thing had me in tears as I ordered that once not knowing what it was but secretly hoping it was a normal pizza with a less fatty cheese or something. Great marketing, get a smaller pizza with a side salad served in the middle and call it light 😂

When is your scan @Seahawk80? I hope the spotting is getting better and will be thinking of you!

@MrsMGE YES on the book front sister, we did chat about them before when we were exchanging good read ideas on the other thread! We do like a lot of the same writers!

We've just had Minestrone for dinner and 2 oranges for dessert - oh how times have changed! At Xmas that would've read Chocolate Orange!

X

[tortiecat]

@Avocuddles I am glad you and your DH enjoyed Rudding Park. I went last year and it has ruined all other spas for me for life. I just wanted to stay there and shuffle about in my robe and branded slippers forever. The only slight fly in the ointment was that they did suggest a v expensive Elemis anti wrinkle cream to me after my facial, I wasn't aware I had any wrinkles (my cheeks are far too chubby) so this was quite anxiety inducing!
Also - I will be thinking of you and @MrsMGE and your babies this month ❤️

@Shefliesonherownwings I second what @MrsMGE said, you are incredible xx

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

I’m glad you enjoyed Rudding Park @Avocuddles I have been wanting to go there. As you know I think we’re not far away from one another.

Haven’t read any Sally Rooney but I’ve been tempted. I love Jodi Picoult, Lianne Moriarty, Kazuo Ishguru.

I’ve probably mentioned I’m in a book club. They chose a Lianne Moriarty book that happened to be about a child drowning that has the same name as our DD who was stillborn. This time I’m reading a Jodi Picoult book about a dead baby 🙄 They really know how to pick ‘em! But it’s a good book!

[Shefliesonherownwings]

Thanks ladies. To be honest 99% of the time I feel like I am hanging on by a thread, so thank you for your kind words. I have found that sitting in the house all day makes me feel worse and there have been and still are plenty of days like that so I'm trying not to succumb to it although some days just getting dressed is an achievement.

Getting fit and healthy is giving me a great focus right now and I need something to do. DH goes back to work tomorrow and I am nervous about being on my own so going to the gym for a bit will hopefully become my sanctuary. Also DH and I really want to try again and although we are just seeing what happens right now, I want to be fitter and healthier if it does happen. This thread is really helping motivate me so thank you all so much. I'm now in tears writing this!

I don't have the attention span to read a book but I used to love reading so am storing up all your suggestions on here for a later date.

@Seahawk80 I hope everything is ok. I'm crossing my fingers for you. X

[MrsMGE]

Morning ladies!

I weighed myself today and it shows I've put on some weight over the weekend, but still overall more than 2lbs lost last week (1.3kg) which considering I've only started on Wednesday is really good, I think 🎉🎉🎉. I'm now going to switch to weighing weekly because I suspect if it slows down/plateaus I don't want to get discouraged or upset. I know this is normal, but I also know that I used it as an excuse before not to continue with my health mission or to loosen up ("it will take a while anyway so a little treat won't do harm") and it simply didn't work as a result. I am absolutely determined for this not to happen again. Please wish me luck!

6am HIIT done today, on my own as DH is having a rest day. Dance/fitness class later tonight 😊 Happy Monday, team! Xxx

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Well done @MrsMGE weighing yourself no more than weekly is definitely a good idea as our weight can fluctuate from day to day, and even during the day, anyway.

I have sort of started the day off as I intended. I got up at 6:45 and we left the house for 7:45 for work which used to be a struggle. I didn’t sleep well due to PMT (yes it actually keeps me up!) and managed to wake up feeling and looking fresh, which is great! I didn’t quite manage to make myself the packed lunch l had intended last night but managed to put something together this morning 😊

Happy Monday all and hope all of you going back to work after the Christmas Day find it ok!

[MrsMGE]

@SunStruck Sista ❤️ I'm replying on this thread because this is where I'm active at the moment. I struggle to keep up wuth multiple threads and also felt I needed to shift from the TTC focus onto living my best and healthy life focus which inevitably will achieve two things: 1. It will help long term with being able to be happy again after the loss, and 2. It can only help with TTC, it might happen quicker, it might make me stronger and fitter if it doesn't and it will eventually help throughout the next pregnancy. To me it's a no brainer, but you've been with me throughout this entire journey and you know it's taken me a while to be in this frame of mind.

I think you'll really like this thread, I know you're into fitness and healthy eating anyway!

It's so nice to talk about everything and anything with you ladies. We're interesting women, we actually have a sense of humour too and it's so nice to rediscover this, in myself as well. Only now I realise how low my self esteem was for months after the loss, I clearly secretly blamed myself for what's happened even if I didn't think I did at the time. I forgot what I'm into as a woman, what I enjoy and what I'm good at, didn't see there are things worth doing in life regardless, or maybe because of what's happened. That's no way to live long term, is it. I clearly hoped I'd be pg again in no time and all the sadness would go away, but it doesn't work like this.

I'm sometimes scared this is the end of my grief. It is a scary thought. But I still cry at times, in the shower, like yesterday I had a thought that my best friend's baby will be in the school year that my baby would have been and I'll watch him/her go to school, graduate etc. and always think I had a baby who would have been standing next to him/her. That thought made me choke up. So maybe this grief will stay there forever, and actually I don't feel it's a bad thing, it's keeping the memory of baby MGE alive ❤️ xxx

[MrsMGE]

Thank you @BunnytheBlueWhale and well done to you too!

@SunshineCrocodile How are you doing, lovely? I'm thinking about you xxx

@Shefliesonherownwings Oh bless you ❤️ I'm glad we are doing our little bit to help. I never thought how difficult it is to stay on your own on leave. It sounds like adding some regular activities will be very helpful xxx

@SunStruck Meant to say, well done for going through the due date period. I totally understand why you took a step back xxx

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

@Shefliesonherownwings It is so strange and difficult being on mat leave alone, without your child. I took six months off and DH went back to work after about 2 weeks! I found it really hard but actually adjusted quite quickly. I had active days where I went for a walk, did food shopping, cleaned the house... and others where I watched Netflix most of the day! The one thing I tried to do every day is make us a nice dinner. It kind of gave me a purpose and kept me busy. I met up with friends too and tried to carry on with my old life if that makes sense. Forgive me if I’m repeating myself by the way, we may had discussed this before on the other thread xx

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

I think I mentioned before Christmas I had the opportunity to go for chair for the committee related to the area of law I work in. I didn’t go for it. The current chair sent another email extending the deadline to today, given the Christmas period, and I’m not sure what to do!! I want to do it as I think it seems like a good opportunity for me to be known in this field and is good for the firm but I’m also wondering whether it will just be a lot of work for not much benefit?! Deadline is 4pm. Maybe I should just got for it...

[Avocuddles]

@BunnytheBlueWhale quick reply here as about to go into a meeting but YES - go for it! And we'll all be rooting for you.....

[SunshineCrocodile]

@tortiecat oh Pizza Express - I'm not bothered about pizza, even ones with holes in, but that little mini pudding they do with figs in Marsala syrup with mascarpone . Do you know, I think I'll take myself there in the afternoon lull and literally just order that pudding and a coffee next time I have an afternoon to myself. And read a book.

@BunnytheBlueWhale do you think you'd genuinely enjoy it? If so, I'd go for it!

@MrsMGE I'm doing ok thanks! Feeling a bit more chipper, trying to get myself back on the positivity health train I was riding before New Year. I get a hideous mood slump with PMT and the first few days of a cycle and I think the CP plus coming home from holiday exacerbated that this time, but coming out the other side now. How are you? Good job on the weight loss! I think the odd tumble back into grief is inevitable and it does get less often and less painful - but I still think sometimes about the first baby I lost, 8 years ago now, and who they would be now, if they were a girl or a boy, what they'd look like, and I know none of these babies we never met will ever be forgotten.

@Avocuddles how funny, Rudding is literally over the road from where I work. I drive past it every day but have never been to the spa - maybe I should!

@Shefliesonherownwings I think you're doing brilliantly. I'm a PT and it's amazing how much it's like being a therapist sometimes, people can use exercise as an escape, or a release, or to work on self confidence and self worth. It's never 'just' exercise. Some sessions I honestly just chat with clients and we never get past the warm up but they value those sessions so much! I hope your PT is a good fit and you get some real benefit - don't be worried about finding a different one if you don't click, you need to feel comfortable with him.

@Seahawk80 I hope the spotting is on the way out now. Fingers crossed for you.

Sorry if I've missed people out, I'm supposed to be catching up on all the admin I didn't do over Christmas and haven't fully kept up with the thread but I'm here and trying to read even if not always responding!

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

@Avocuddles @SunshineCrocodile Thanks! I have put myself forward. I think I’d enjoy it and the exposure would be good. Part of what had put me off going for it was that I’d have to step down if I get pregnant or go on mat leave but I can’t put my life on hold for something that might not happy or might take time to happen.

Next time we’re finding it all a bit hard going maybe we should book a spa day since a few of us are local 😂