To hell with being polite!

[Nuttypea]

Just absolutely pissed off with this ttc lark now. It's great that so many people are getting their BFP's but I've reached a point where my eyes roll and I have a selfish mini strop whenever I see or hear about it.

Preseed, conceive plus, vitamins and the SMEP method, which have miraculously worked for others on their 'first try' have failed me on many cycles!

I'm pissed off with hearing "once you stop trying... Or once you relax that's when it will happen" WELL THANK, FUCKING YOU KAREN. I'll just turn off my shitting mind shall I?!

"Go away on holiday, then it will happen for sure" WHAT FUCKER'S FUNDING THAT THEN CHERYL?

"You're still young, you've plenty of time" WELL THEN WHY AREN'T MY EGGS RIPE AND READY YA SILLY TWAT.

Fuck it all! But also, let me check my underwear real quick...

Haha I know the feeling, we're coming up to 3 years now, it's so irritating when "helpful" fuckers give you their two pence worth.

I mean, I can't imagine how frustrated and emotionally drained you must be! We're not far off the 1 year mark and I'm already finding it really hard. Will this be your first pregnancy @juneybean? I guess the only positive is, we can engulf ourselves in brie and alcohol this Christmas 🤷‍♀️

Yeah, I'll be giving up once I've got one haha, can't go through this again!

But yes going to enjoy pate, brie and alcohol

Amen to that. Fuck this shit.

I hate to say it but...after almost 3 years of trying and fertility investigations it happened completely out of the blue for us when I had basically given up hope and told myself I couldn't get pregnant without help. I've heard of this happening to so many people. I planned loads of stuff ahead too and actually started to enjoy life again with DH by going out at the weekends and allowing myself a drink, going to the gym a lot etc. I used to be so enraged when people would tell me to 'just relax!' And especially when most of them never even had to try lol!

The whole tIme TTC I was stressed out my box and it was the worst time of my life where I was genuinely suicidal. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

Good luck to you OP, have you visited your GP or got the ball rolling with any investigation?

Hope you don't hate me for posting my story but I thought it might give you a bit of hope x

@BelleBox19 of course not! It's a tough time for everyone that is struggling to conceive! I just never thought it would be so soul destroying seeing negative tests and constantly analysing my body!

I've had blood tests to see if I'm ovulating, which I am apparently! DP is going to have his count checked in Jan when we've hit the 12mnth mark!

It is just one of those days where I am done with people that think we can just switch our brains off! I'm glad you were eventually able too and was successful! 😘

I'm with you, hating life and everyone around me at the moment. I echo OP's post 100%.

I had a miscarriage in June after catching very quickly (to my huge surprise) and the absolute NEED to get pg again ASAP after the loss is killing me. It's not something anyone tells you about and it's uber shit because you were already on your way and you think like a mother, but have no baby to look after. My would-be due date is looming, I'm getting older and older (33), another birthday with no baby, Christmas with no baby, and 10, TEN women in my circle of friends, acquaintances, clients and colleagues are pg, half of them quickly following their miscarriages/having diagnosed fertility issues/IVF.

DH is forever the optimist and I currently hate him for that, too, optimism isn't what I need.

I tried acupuncture, reflexology, "doing nice stuff for myself", tracking, temping, not tracking, not temping, focusing on something else, focusing on TTC, fertility friendly diet, good diet, eat-what-I-want diet, you name it, we went on holiday, stayed home, and nothing fucking works.

I lost hope.

I am the only woman on this planet that can't fucking get pregnant again.

I'm going to counselling today, but that's another waste of money, it's not going to fertilise my fucking egg or implant it. I'm so done.

@Nuttypea well said!!!
Ttc is just awful. I just don't get how it doesn't work, I mean surely if I ovulate and there's a perm there how hard is it for my body to just work? I actually don't understand
And all these people who use a crap internet strip test at about 7dpo and get a pink lime I'm like how the hell does that happen?
And then getting a positive and then having a miscarriage, people saying well at least you can get pregnant, yeah that makes me feel much better thanks
Feel a bit better to get that off my chest lol xx

To finish off my rant, I haven't got any more fucking money to burn on TTC/trying to feel better, I am fuming nothing has worked and don't intend to waste a penny more. Plus I have to do a lot of savings next year and cannot justify hundreds of £££ going down the drain anymore. I won't be going on holiday once a month in my TWW either, who the fuck does that?

I feel so awful, two of my closest friends are pg and they try to stay close to me and be kind, bless them, but I don't want to be around any pg women anymore and in fact fear more and more will announce their pgs soon.

I'm on the verge of quitting this malarkey for good, I know you won't believe it, but I used to be a happy, energetic woman, full of life, conquering the world. I am now a miserable shadow of my old self and hate that so much, too.

I totally get that. People say the stupidest things.
I had a woman at work keep telling me: "When you stop trying, that's when it will happen!".
I just wanted to scream at her, what the hell do you mean stop trying? Stop having sex? Because that is not how you make a baby!

It took us nearly 2 years and 2 MCs, and when we got this positive it was NOT because we had stopped trying!
Wish you all the best, but I've been there and I know theres nothing people can say.

I hate to say it but...after almost 3 years of trying and fertility investigations it happened completely out of the blue for us when I had basically given up hope and told myself I couldn't get pregnant without help. I've heard of this happening to so many people
We had a similar situation. My GP said it is surprisingly common, but it doesn't make the journey any easier.

@MrsMGE so sorry to hear of such a shit journey you've had so far! I'm with you on the optimisitc partner! I lov him for doing his best, but also just want someone to tell me how unfair it is instead of "there's always next month"

It is so, totally okay that you don't want to be around pregnancies and I'm sure those that love you understand! Just rant/scream/cry as much as you want with us here. Sometimes it's easier to offload to strangers than those closest to us!

Thanks @Nuttypea. I'm sorry you're also finding yourself in this crappy position. The only thing that helps me is to acknowledge that it is that: bad. And knowing that other people understand it too, well not many do, but some do. Your post has really struck a chord with me today, I feel I've been to hell and back and when I thought things can only get better, this lack of luck in TTC has really floored me. I really don't know what to do next, tbh. Sending you lots of love ❤️

@sarahc336 you've nailed it. My timings are always spot on, and we've tried everyday and also every other day and neither have been successful. My elgs are in the air and at one point I was on my head... Jsut a fucking joke really 😂

Sex Ed was an absoloutle con. And don't get me started on the "happy accidents".

I went so insane I spent months looking at prams, filling up a basket online on mothercare and calculating when I would go on maternity leave. Even looked at nurseries I would send my child too... Never once, was I pregnant whilst doing this! BAT SHIT CRAZYYYY

@Nuttypea it isn't crazy, lots of people do it eg at the point of purchasing properties, choosing jobs, cars etc., as they're thinking ahead. I had all my money worked out, I knew which car I wanted to buy, I have my house in a fab location for nurseries and kids' activities etc. It's just a sign you are emotionally ready to be a mother, and it sounds like you're a planner.

What's bat shit crazy is that pregnancy involves our bodies and yet, we have absolutely no control over it. And it's very, very, very hard to accept.

I’m out the other side and don’t want to piss anyone off more but one thing I found really helpful was temping. It gave me something solid to focus on, yes you get obsessed with your chart, but it’s cheaper (free once you’ve got a £10ish bbt thermometer) than peeing on endless sticks. I read Taking charge of your fertility which I got second hand off eBay or amazon and it didn’t get me pregnant but it got me in tune with my cycle and was a productive preoccupation. It’s not for everyone but might be worth a look.

I feel your pain so much OP.

And the "happy accidents" got me really down during our struggles, mainly because it usually turned out that meant not using contraception and then gushing over what a wonderful "surprise" it was.

Also seen on MN with claims of "super fertility" where people claim that they have some magic fairy dust because they used 2 forms of contraception perfectly, then took the morning after pill (why you'd do that if you knew you'd used contraception properly is beyond me) and still ended up conceiving despite only having sex once outside of the fertile window. On MN some people are very quick to point out how perfect use contraception still fails all the time and that's why they're happy surprises. Meanwhile offline I know loads of people who have had various degrees of difficulty conceiving so i often thought the super fertile should bottle their magic.

I think most of us would have tried temping by now, no offence.

AMEN!
Woman at work (who is actually really lovely) 'we'll be hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet coming your way soon, it'll be you next!' After a colleague got pregnant 'accidentally'. Smiled and said yes I'll get another dog then left the room and stuck my fingers up behind the door.
DH is so optimistic and lovely but he looks at me like I've got 2 heads when I talk ovulation/fertile window/tww etc.
Seeing your posts on this thread is making me feel slightly more normal. This morning i was working out what shifts I'll do when I come back from maternity leave. Not even a sniff of a BFP yet but here I am wondering. Also looking through mothercare sale wondering if it would be totally absurd to buy things now when they're closing down. DH said absolutely no way. I was only half joking (I think)

It's shit but if I actively think or try and plan out things round my periods I end up with the timings all wrong, I can end up one to two weeks late and then have a massive period plus one when the next one would naturally be. God knows why, I have endo but I really do think it's mind related.

I couldn't conceive for a few years with someone, then became over fertile to the point I developed anxiety about becoming pregnant again.

I guess I'm saying you can't win (a bfp has to seem like a win I admit, but you see where I'm coming from?)

I really hope it happens for you, and soon. I'd love to know what really effing happens inside our bodies to make them behave so appallingly or on the other hand, too efficiently.

@MrsMGE I've been temping for a while, I'm pretty clued up about my cycle and when I should be ovulating. It doesn't make any difference with regards to having luck, in fact it justs another reminder that things aren't happening even at the right time.

@bluebell94 Do you work for the NHS also? I too have planned my shifts for when I return and have actually bought things for baby. Even have a bodysuit wrapped up to give to DP when I get that BFP 🤦‍♀️

Hi ladies i hope you don't mind jumping onto this post! But i feel i can so relate to you all. Since i have been TTC all i seem to hear is others getting pregnant and it is so draining. The bigger me tries to be happy for them but i cant but feel shitty like is something wrong with me? Ive been ttc since September since stopping the combined pill but finding it difficult to ovulation track. I cant seen to getting a positive LH surge which is very frustrating since my periods seem to have been on track (few days either side but nothing to crazy). I hope we all get a BFP soon. Here is me hoping. 🙄

@Nuttypea yes I do. Ha I was looking at little personalised body suits last week too! 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Nuttypea Couldn't agree with you more.