To hell with being polite!

[Nuttypea]

Just absolutely pissed off with this ttc lark now. It's great that so many people are getting their BFP's but I've reached a point where my eyes roll and I have a selfish mini strop whenever I see or hear about it.

Preseed, conceive plus, vitamins and the SMEP method, which have miraculously worked for others on their 'first try' have failed me on many cycles!

I'm pissed off with hearing "once you stop trying... Or once you relax that's when it will happen" WELL THANK, FUCKING YOU KAREN. I'll just turn off my shitting mind shall I?!

"Go away on holiday, then it will happen for sure" WHAT FUCKER'S FUNDING THAT THEN CHERYL?

"You're still young, you've plenty of time" WELL THEN WHY AREN'T MY EGGS RIPE AND READY YA SILLY TWAT.

Fuck it all! But also, let me check my underwear real quick...

@Nuttypea honestly I have no idea, my cycles have been all over the place since stopping the pill so it's so hard! If I had a 28 day cycle, it would be due on 23rd December. I think I ovulated around day 16 this time so hoping it's due between Xmas and new year

I say I'm relaxed and won't start looking for symptoms.....I'm 5dpo & ofcourse I'm googling why I have more CM than normal and why I'm lfeeling a twitch in my left side... probably totally psychological. Will definitely reunite Xmas day good luck girls spreading the strength & positivity to you all... and remember the answer to a BFN is ...'fuck it, it's Christmas !

Anyone else close to breaking the 'I won't test early' habit 🙈🤦‍♀️

I get fed up of hearing the just relax crap. I didn't conceive on my honeymoon even though we were dtd basically daily in my fertile week and I've never been more relaxed in my life!!

18 months in and I'm much less tolerant of 'helpful' advice. Or when people ask when I'm having children or I bet you it'll be soon. I just say I've had a miscarriage and that tends to shut people up! I feel as though if I'm unlucky enough to have had one, then I'm allowed to use the experience to silence people!!

Sorry I am very new to this topic. Why do you need to check your knickers when you are TTC?

@MrsMGE I 100% get when you are coming from. The need to fall pregnant after a mc is just horrendous and takes over your every thought. In my head it reminds me of free falling with nothing you're able to reach out to, just thin air and you're just desperate to grab onto that ledge. But you can't.

I have also tried absolutely EVERYTHING. Everything you can think of, been there, done it. I feel like I'm a ttc old wives tale expert. I recently read about cough medicine being good for cm and I'm currently in my fertile week with a chesty cough, wondering whether just to give it a go . I've also been to therapy and that did sod all, they just minimised my mc as an issue so I never went again after 4 sessions.

I even get frustrated now reading threads of ttc for one cycle and the sheer panic from people. And in actual fact I remember that early feeling distinctly but I often feel like saying it could take months or years before you have a baby so just chill the f out. I didn't think it would take me years and yet here I am. We've both had fertility tests. We have apparently great fertility prospects. Well where the hell is my bfp?

Just to say I really found the book Fertile Thinking (Anya Sizer/Cat Dean) really helpful dealing with the mental side of infertility - the title sounds woo but it has lots of really practical ideas and exercises for staying yourself as you manage all the crap that you have to deal with. to you all.

[note to self, really must find some other adverbs]

I can relate to all of this!! 1.5 years in I'm sick of peeing on sticks, taking my temperature, not drinking, going to appointments, taking medication that makes me feel ill (plus the needle marks and weight gain) etc. Putting up with nonsense advice e.g. the classic "relax". We are unexplained Infertility so that always confuses people. An ex-work colleague charmingly interpreted that as me subconsciously not wanting to have a baby. Oh and l gave a acquaintance who has conceived, had a baby and is now pregnant again while we have been trying

Don't start me on some of the snug threads l have seen on MN. One was very dismissive and smug about 'infertiles' as she called it. Getting pregnant for the majority of people just happens and is easy. For most it’s not an achievement like getting a first in a degree or passing your driving test with no faults 🤨. So why be so smug and nasty about someone else's misfortune with it?

l quit my job after our IVF failed. It was a shit job l thought but the maternity deal was ok (it wasn't amazing but was better then most). I was bored of forcing myself to do a job for "what if". Now looking for something more interesting with better money.

For 2020 l have decided not to limit myself or miss out. Cue lots of gigs and we are about to book a trip to Japan. Dreading us using the embryos in the freezer, we have a few but lm not feeling hopeful

I point blank refuse to buy anything as that would be too upsetting. Can't even face looking at the pictures of the 2 embryos from our failed IVF

PREACH TO ALL OF THE ABOVE!!

Nearly three years in over here too. Bloods for me are normal. DHs SA has come back with slightly reduced morphology.

I've resigned myself to, it's never going to happen and I doubt we'll ever afford IVF. Our CCG doesn't fund any!! Last night, I drank and drank and drank at the Xmas party!! Here's to living!

Took us 12 years, every dx in the book (eggs rubbish, low sperm etc)

Take heart with, actually for most of you its actually round the corner!

It is shit though I havent forgotten

@Sshsecretenclosed lm fairly resigned as well 😔. Sorry to hear your CCG fund no IVF. The postcode lottery is a joke.

@EL8888 it's awful isn't it. We have to have further SA in a week to either confirm or refute a diagnosis of reduced morphology.

I cannot des robe the sadness I felt when I was ttc and all of my friends were getting pregnant around me. In fact I recently found diary entries from that time and they were so painful to read I had to put them away. We gave up trying to conceive and decided to adopt instead. We adopted a 6 month old a year after being approved for adoption. Obviously this is not for everyone, but it worked for us. After 6 years of trying to have a baby naturally we fell pregnant when our little boy was 2 and now have an 19 month old baby girl.
I totally get where you are coming from OP. Until you experience it, you will never understand it. Be kind to yourself.

Hey there,

I hope you don’t mind me jumping in on this thread. I’ve been struggling with ttc as well it’s been horrible. Not the exact same situation but we’ve been trying for 5 years. We’ve had two mc but no success in the last two years. I feel like My body is broken - despite the fact that the fertility specialist says we’re both “normal”. It’s making it worse because my dh seems to be so calm and cool about it. I just hate this... it’s such an emotional rollercoaster and I just want to give up. And on top of all of this... it seems everyone around me is getting pregnant 😭😭😭

@Chanel05 Hugs ❤️ It's an extremely tough journey after the loss (or multiple losses). How are you doing now?

Ladies, I must say, counselling helped me a bit (so far) and I've also taken a step back from MN and any kind of discussions abour kids, conceiving, pregnancy etc. in real life. Not easy if you have 11 pg women around you, but I just talk to them about everything else and if they start banging on about their pg or babies I just nod politely, stay silent and change topic. Most of them know and I guess probably get the gist this topic is not one to continue right now. Ot might be selfish but they can talk to everyone else about it so they're not exactly in a bad place and I really don't want to know.

I've been feeling rough as for the last 2 days, had cramps all day yesterday and two sudden waves of nausea this morning. I had something similar in September and obviously wasn't pregnant so I'm not even testing not to get too upset now.

I binned all of my early pregnancy tests and it's the best thing I've ever done. Freedom! Just a thought, if you're struggling today, just get rid of everything around you that reminds you of TTC. Bin it, hide it, do whatever it takes to avoid putting extra pressure on yourselves. It's beautifully liberating xxx

Totally get your anger.

My name is Karen and I’ve lost two babies at 12 weeks this year.

I’m not sure where the Karen jokes come from, but the Karens and Cheryls of the world are also having a fucking shit time of it TTC as well - so try not to be a dick about our names.

Oh dear. Don't really know what to say apart from the fact that obviously OP didn't mean to offend anyone and as the name of the thread suggests, it's not for the easily offended.

I'm sorry for your losses, Karen, I'm a mother who lost a baby this year too. However, let's be supportive, not oversensitive. I don't think it's justified to criticise OP at all. Wishing you best of luck on your journey.

@MrsMGE hey stranger. I’ve been meaning to get in touch with you after seeing one of your recent posts. You are not alone. I had to leave the other thread because of various people saying to ‘stay positive’ when they are reletavely new to the process. Approaching your due date is really tough.

Nine people in my school friends group (so all 38/39) are pregnant so it’s not an age thing. Including one accident and I’m very happy for them but it is increasingly tough. I am taking 5 different vitamins (soon to be 6), I am upping exercise, I eat well etc and nothing. I’m fed up of sex, TTC is causing problems in my relationship.

I have already cried this morning because as much as I love Christmas, I was so excited to see my dog this morning and I realised I should have had a 3.5 month old baby today and how excited I would be for them (depending on sleep deprivation). It’s shit and don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t.

@zoomies1 Hi!!! I've been thinking about you. Didn't wanna tag as I get that you wanted to take a step back, I felt like this too. I then went on another thread, lots of lovely ladies, but because it's taking me so long, it made me feel down again. It's no one's fault, just the lack of luck for us, isn't it.

I've gone to private counselling and somehow it has made me feel better, in a sense I'm more empowered now. I know we're in a shit situation and accept it, currently trying to change the way I approach this so it doesn't bring me down as much as it used to.

The only way I can compare this is to someone living with a long-term or chronic illness, it won't go away and you're not where you want to be, but you have to keep going. The good thing in our situation is that there is every chance things may improve in the future, whereas for some seriously ill people sadly there is no such prospect and it must be extremely hard.

I've been thinking recently about changing my whole life and becoming a foster parent. I need more time to consider this, but the idea has made me feel quite excited.

I wish you a lot of strength for the Christmas period, it's tough, and I agree, my due date is mid-Jan and it makes it even harder. We're in this together. Take care ❤️ xxx

Well my cunting period had turned up early. We've hit the 1 year mark now, I'm just done with all this. Having a real self-pity party, just taking over my life. Again am hearing "just relax" I fucking can't.

Knee deep in brie and gin this Christmas then. I hope it's a positive one for you ladies xxx

I just feel exactly the same ladies. Nearly three years. Relaxing is so freaking hard!! I'm just going to drink my way through Xmas, plan holidays for next year and spend money. I feel an overwhelming sense of living for now, rather than 'what if' currently!!!!!

Hope everyone is having a lovely Christmas!

I've had a few remarks from the MIL today about how it's not the same without kids at Christmas, how lovely a baby would be for next year, how we really need to try the next few months!
It upset me a little bit as she knows everything we're going through.
I had a little cry outside and OH mentioned to her that it is a sensitive situation which she replied with 'oh I know, I just think your trying too hard, it'll happen when it happens. When you least expect it'
I can't even look at her right now, I'm off to pour myself another quadruple malibu and coke and get thoroughly pissed.

@mrschicken89 Enjoy that drink! Have as many as you like! Sod her, let the old bag get on with it 😂 I had a little cry when my Facebook feed was full of other people's babies and children all tucked up and excited, the family photos etc. Just going to think positive. Just think, this may be your last Christmas without kids, so make it a very very merry one and empty the alcohol cabinet! Xx

Merry Christmas. I have lurked but not posted on here. Hope everyone is enjoying the wine and pate. 2020 will bring answers for us regardless and then we will also be booking a trip to Japan. I am sick of my life being on hold. And my mother in law can also stick it, sorry your son married a dud but I refuse to feel bad that you won't get grandchildren.