SMEP - feel free to join! :)

[danielasummer]

Hi everyone, just making this thread as it seems a few of us will be trying SMEP to TTC! Adding these lovely ladies in from another thread but I hope everyone feels free to join! All welcome :)

@Devgirl31 @fayy123 @NCON @MrsKJW19

Some stats about me:

TTC #1
27 years old, DH is 28 years old
Missed miscarriage in October 2019 at 7+2 weeks
Still in that cycle (no AF yet)
Long and irregular cycles, some anovulatory
Suspected low progesterone/hypothyroidism (I think this based on symptoms, not diagnosed yet!)

Hope we can all provide support for each other in this crazy TTC journey.

Feel free to introduce yourselves :)

@fayy123 I'm not sure it's necessary to be honest.. I never prioritise this and I fell pregnant without. x

@fayy123 i would agree with @danielasummer i dont think it is necessary so i wouldnt gey hung up on the idea as it may make DTD even more stressful!!

I agree with it not being necessary just daft stories people make up, but im extremely disappointed if i dont 🙈

Anyway, do any of you know if ovulation happens on the same day every month or if it varies?

@Lucy5546 absolutely. We have enough on our plates as it is haha. How are you doing?

@Shazzzzz I think it's just a myth made up by some women who want their fair share haha! Ovulation can vary month to month but for some people it's very consistent - it depends. For me for example, with irregular cycles, mine varies. Do you temp? How are you doing lovely? Thinking of you. x

@fayy123 it's not essential to orgasm, but it does help. Your cervix opens and sort of sucks up the sperm into your uterus as you orgasm, so ideally you'd try and time it to coincide with ejaculation or as soon as possible afterwards (before ejaculation isn't ideal as the sperm won't be there yet). Easier said than done I know, but personally I tried to get as close as possible and then hold off until DH was close too. A small vibrator like a bullet helps (sorry tmi). I got pregnant 2nd month of trying (currently 9.5 weeks) and had an orgasm every time we tried. Also it does make it a bit more fun if you insist that your orgasm matters as much as the guy's tbh - otherwise it's literally just mechanical 😳

@danielasummer im fine thank you, still a bit sad i was supposed to he having an early scan next week so dreading that day as i will just think about it all time. Just taking each day as it comes, still relaxed about everything and DTD allllllll the time!! How are you? Xx

Hi all been quiet recently, I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago so I've been trying to get my head round this.
@Shazzzzz really sorry to hear that this happened to you too.
I was 10 weeks when it happened but baby was measuring at 8 weeks. Obviously was not expecting it to happen but noone ever is are they, what made it much harder was I had an early scan and everything looked fine.
I would be due to have my 12 week scan either this week or next thankfully I didn't get a date through for it as they were able not to process the referral for the scan. Anyway I had to go back today to get checked over and all the emotion of what happened came flooding back 😢. I thought I was doing OK now I'm not so sure.
I really want to try again ASAP but just scared about 1. It happening again and 2. That it might take me a while to conceive again.
Sorry for rambling on.
Hope everyone is doing OK xx

@HE88 oh no im so sorry 😢 i was 5 weeks, its absolutely devastating mentally i hope you are doing okay. I am also trying again and am afraid of the exact same things, i actually told my partner i am never doing a pregnancy test again in my life and would rather find out when i feel a baby kicking (sounds absolutely stupid i know!) so if something happened again i wouldn't feel as bad. I know thats wouldnt be true but i hate the thought of worrying all the way to 40 weeks!!

Sending lots of love your way ❤️❤️

Aw i wish we could all have a group hug 🥺 xx

@Shazzzzz yeah I'm doing OK went back to work on Monday so that's keeping my mind off it. Think this morning just threw me a bit.
I totally get where you are coming from.
A group hug would be fab 🤗 xx

@HE88 Thats good, baby steps! I couldn't keep myself off work because my brain was actually eating itself! so I shut my office door, cancelled meetings and told people not to bother me. Im a lot chattier this week though 😄 we will all get there xx

@Shazzzzz baby steps indeed.
Oh if I could have done that I would have but I'm a teacher so no room for hiding. Xx

@HE88 I'm so, so sorry to hear about your loss. It must be so devastating, I can't imagine 😔 I hope that both your physical and mental recoveries are as quick as possible and that you feel ready to try again in your own time ❤

@HE88 I'm so, so sorry to read this. I have been wondering how everyone is on this thread and am really devastated to see this. I also wish I could give you a hug x

There are a few of us here that have gone through miscarriages. It's the worst thing in the world, all we can offer is support and a big hand hold. I wish things were different for you, I really do. My advice would be to absolutely feel the grief.. cry when you need to cry, don't put pressure on yourself to expect to feel better by a certain point. Realise that certain timestamps will be hard and try to be with supportive loved ones on those hard days.

In terms of TTC again, right now things are still so very raw, so you will likely be feeling anxious about TTC again. In time, your thoughts will become clearer as the dark clouds part, and you will know in your heart when the right time to TTC is for you and your partner.

You are not alone in this. This is not just a conception thread, I really feel like we are all connected in our journeys so please do reach out on here, whether on this chat or PM. I found that the support I received from Mumsnet was so powerful in my grieving process and if you decide to also go down that route, it may be helpful for you too. Thinking of you x

@Shazzzzz Bless you, I'm thinking of you too and also wish I could give you a hug! As I said above, there will be timestamps and inevitably you will be thinking 'I should be having my scan today', 'I should be 20 weeks today' etc - that is totally normal, so the fact that you've recognised that it will be a hard day is already a good step. Planning something nice with supportive loved ones or even just generally keeping busy would be my advice. I try to look at difficult days as 'there are 24 hours in a day, 8 of which I'll be asleep, so just 16 hours of heartache to get through' and when you take one hour at a time, it does help. As I mentioned above, please do post thoughts, feelings, rants, anything that will help, either on this thread or a PM. Unfortunately, there are many of us that have experienced MC, but fortunately, we are all there for each other as we understand each other's pain. x

@bluemoon2468 @danielasummer thank you for your kinds words.
I'm actually doing OK physically and mentally I still have my sad moments though.
I'm quite keen to ttc pretty much straight away I'm looking at it as it not being my time but hoping the next time it will be I'm just trying to stay positive and focused 😊.

@Shazzzzz @HE88 hi ladies..just wondering how you’re both doing? Thinking of you x

How is everyone and where are you all in your cycles? I’m finding I’m spending less time on mumsnet generally but I do miss this chat! X

@danielasummer hey, im perfectly fine just keep having a few days off my phone trying to appreciate whats around me.

Im either CD 18 or 19 going off either when i started my MC or started to bleed red blood.

I cant be sure what to expect this month as dont know when i would have ovulated or if i even would have, MC are so confusing to the body! 😢

How are you and where are you in your cycle? Xx

@Shazzzzz I’m trying to limit phone time too. It can be helpful but also damaging at the same time. Digital detoxes are good.

MC are very confusing for the body. Some people ovulate straight away and some take months. If I remember rightly, you and your partner BD often do you should be covered either way, but don’t put pressure on yourself to ovulate as there is so much going on hormone-wise that it might take a while to settle.

I’m ok thank you, on CD11 so I have around 2-3 weeks until I ovulate. Spending this time trying my best to relax and look after myself because TTC can be so exhausting mentally, can’t it? X

@danielasummer yeah it definitely can be exhausting! But we have always done it every other day if not every day and we have been together 5 years, hopefully i will have or soon will ovulate,i read a post of someone who went for a scan and she got pregnant the day after a MC, how bizarre is that! 😱

Gives me some confidence knowing it is possible to ovulate as normal! I normally ov around CD 19 i think but i haven't tracked in 3 months so who knows 🤷🏽‍♀️

Just going off the relaxed method again tryjng not to stress😄

Hi @danielasummer I'm doing fine thanks. Oh I'm not really sure what cycle day I am tbh haven't actually thought about it. I'm just going to start fresh once I've had my 1st period and take it from there. Xx

Hi @Shazzzzz sorry for the late reply, I don't receive notifications when I've been mentioned for some reason. Wow that's amazing that she got pregnant the day after! I've heard of it happening in the same cycle but never the day after. Hope you're doing ok. The relaxed method seems to work for most people..just wish I could actually relax! x

Hi @HE88 glad you're doing ok and I hope you're looking after yourself. x

@danielasummer it was just something i read when googling which now i think of it would probably not be possible 🤦🏽‍♀️

I just cant be bothered stressing ive got enough stress at work 😖 x

@Shazzzzz what CD are you on now? You doing anything to track? Hope you’re okay x

@danielasummer hey how you doing? What CD you on now? Hope you’re okay x

@fayy123 im on CD 20 going off the start of red blood with my MC. i cant believe it has been 20 days!! What CD are you? Xx

@Shazzzzz awww bless you! So you haven’t had a normal period yet? I’m on CD6, just finished my period! Xx

@fayy123 no i havent yet, just seeing how it goes, oooo hopefully a december baby is in the cards 😆❤️