SMEP - feel free to join! :)

[danielasummer]

Hi everyone, just making this thread as it seems a few of us will be trying SMEP to TTC! Adding these lovely ladies in from another thread but I hope everyone feels free to join! All welcome :)

@Devgirl31 @fayy123 @NCON @MrsKJW19

Some stats about me:

TTC #1
27 years old, DH is 28 years old
Missed miscarriage in October 2019 at 7+2 weeks
Still in that cycle (no AF yet)
Long and irregular cycles, some anovulatory
Suspected low progesterone/hypothyroidism (I think this based on symptoms, not diagnosed yet!)

Hope we can all provide support for each other in this crazy TTC journey.

Feel free to introduce yourselves :)

@ChampooPapi thank you, hope so! How are you getting on? If I'm right, your AF was due at the weekend/Monday? x

@danielasummer it was yes, but it came after 28 days on Thursday. I think that means my cycles after the miscarriage in October are finally back to normal. I was never sure of how long they were because of the depo injection over all these years. So in some ways although I'm on cycle 5, I'm actually on cycle one really. Had first proper heavy 3 day bleed with a couple of very light days after as well after just 2 days of very light bleeding in the other cycles.

So on cycle day 6 here, started opks just for this months trying to see if I can detect a surge and see if ovulation is occuring, assume it is!.

Feeling good and positive, but of course when I await my period end of March I shall be absolutely gutted when it comes!

At least trying in April will mean I can go out on my birthday without feeling awful and queasy and could result in a January baby instead of a Christmas one.

I get the feeling I may be trying for a few more months though. Hope I catch before my original due date which would have been around the 4th of May.

I know you would have been due in May too wouldn't you? We've got this, we will stay strong and keep going together whatever the weather 💜

@ChampooPapi sorry to hear that AF arrived for you - was hoping it was going to be a very different outcome for you this month. The positive we can take though is that your cycles are 28 days, which is the ideal length, and back to normal after October. It does amaze me how well the body copes with trauma, even though it seems like it's taken a while.

Glad you're feeling good and positive. Hoping it continues that way - for us both! I feel like I wasted so much of my life in the last 2 cycles - constantly wishing time away - time until AF so we could try again, time until I could test... it's a shame really. Life is so short.

When's your birthday?

I also have that feeling too, which I'm kind of ok with now. I was due on 18th May. I started to panic last month that I wouldn't be pregnant before my due date but then I realised it was totally out of my control so there was no use panicking. Still, it would be nice. People keep telling me 'oh you'll be pregnant by May' and I'm thinking 'what do you know?!?! It doesn't work like that!' (trying to keep calm with comments like this).

But you're right.. we've got this and we will hold each other's hand through it, too. It will happen for us both, it's just a case of 'when' x

@danielasummer yes comments like that are really well meant and they are supposed to 're-assure' but for some reason they feel more like tempting fate and actually by people saying 'oh you'll be pregnant by May' will actually result in you definitely NOT becoming pregnant by then.

As well as the obvious fact it doesn't work like that too! We also were pregnant before, like properly pregnant and we didn't end up with a baby at the end so the whole bloody business is very complicated emotionally and sensitive. I like a good realist like my mother who says 'you will definitely have another baby but it could take another six months to catch. But by this time next year everything will have changed and you'll be living in the moment again'.

Maybe healing more before the next pregnancy emotionally is a lot better as well, because when we get those bfp we need to be strong and not constantly worrying about the next thing that could go wrong. We need that zen, we need that calm. We need to have worked through a lot of what happened to us.

I know this now and I really don't feel green eyed for those women who get the positive test a month or two after a miscarriage. That must be hell really, all the issues unprocessed, all the worry still so fresh.

We are the lucky ones here. We are going to be really ready. I just hope we are both pregnant by the end of this year, otherwise we will officially go insane and then I give both of us Cart Blanche to start screaming daily into pillows ect

@ChampooPapi I think people just don't know what to say, in addition to not knowing how the female reproductive system works, and that for some it takes a little longer than the said '6 month of being very fertile after miscarriage'. (I'm also sick of hearing those comments!!)

Your mum sounds like a good person to talk to in this situation. My family are still very much cut up by what happened :( so I try to stay positive around them/not talk about TTC at all. We are usually a very open family (Italian!) but I would like some degree of privacy now so I don't share as much as I used to.

I agree that we're in a better place now to handle pregnancy. I was so ridiculously anxious last time and that didn't result in a happy outcome, so next time round I will opt for chilled, calm, zen like you said. I don't feel envious either (I did for a few months) but I think we all have our own journeys and our time will truly come. If we're not pregnant by Christmas then I'll absolutely be screaming into my pillows, screaming in my car, straight up finding a quiet place in the middle of nowhere and just screaming. But positive thoughts and all that :)

@Shazzzzz heyyy I’m sorry for your MC, Take it easy and I hope you get your BFP soon xxx Haven’t been on this in ages in the TWW now AF due next week!! Arghhhh this TCC journey is so emotionally draining and testing! But so nice to have this group to come and chat to X
@danielasummer heyy how you getting on?
How’s everyone else getting on as well

@Shazzzzz so sorry to hear about your loss, sending lots of love.

Hope everyone is hanging in there ok. X

Just wanted to share that after 3 months of waiting, finally got a positive OPK this morning! I was starting to think I wasn't ovulating at all, so really pleased x

@fayy123 hello, I’m good thanks, CD1 today..was hoping to post a very different post today! Oh well. Onto March now. Which CD are you? How are you doing?

@Pixielou16 woohoo for positive OPK! Best get busy tonight 😊 fingers are crossed for you!

I'm due AF. Thought it was here this morning but it's stopped. Think it's just coming on slowly. So it'll be March for me too.

Hi @paintfairy really hoping it doesn't come for you. If it does, then we'll ride the March wave together! How are your cycles normally? Mine are long and irregular, around 39 days-ish but can vary!

@danielasummer mine are around 27 days. Usually regular, just have a bonkers LP.

I've had cramps and back ache on and off all day. A small amount of red blood this morning but nothing now. Despite feeling really wet. I'm sure it doesn't usually come on this slow but I think it's ramping up now. Cramps are worse again. Probably good it waited until after work!

@paintfairy it's good that you don't have long to wait until ovulation. I have to wait 25 days (at least) but I guess testing my patience isn't the worst thing in the world! Hope you don't suffer too much with AF. I've had mild cramps since yesterday so I sort of knew it was coming. Fingers crossed for us all xx

@danielasummer I've been spotting since Monday so I knew. Usually get bad cramps day 1 and that's it. Although it's manageable. I can at least go home and chill on the sofa feeling sorry for myself. 😂
Yes its good i don't have to wait long I guess.

@danielasummer awwww sorry to hear that! Onwards and upwards for next month! Are your cycles regular now?

@Pixielou16 aww POSTIVE OPK is always a good sign, congratulations! X

@danielasummer @paintfairy sorry to hear that AF got you both. X

Hey Ladies, tha is for all you advice and support last month after an CP last month today I got my BFP due November bring on baby number 2 xxx

@danielasummer oh no! That's really crap, just wallow for a few days, it's ok to just not try and be positive for a little while, we do that enough for the rest of the cycle. I think it's important to be able to just feel dissapointed to the absolute maximum and to wallow hard.

Clears things out for looking ahead.

So I'm sure your with me in saying F you to trying to conceive today, it's really bloody hard isn't it. Big hug to you lovely 💜

Hi @paintfairy did AF arrive? How are you doing? I absolutely felt sorry for myself on Friday and had a pizza to cheer myself up haha. Hope you're doing ok x

@fayy123 Thank you, well they have been 39-45 days for the last few cycles and that's regular for me so fingers crossed. How are you doing? Where abouts are you in your cycle? x

@Pixielou16 thank you.. onto March now! How are you doing? x

@Mummy2wannabe2020 wow, congratulations! I'm so happy for you, wishing you so much health and luck in your pregnancy x

@ChampooPapi Thank you lovely, I definitely wallowed on Friday..I've been on such a big health kick this cycle, no sugar, gluten, limited dairy - on Friday I had chocolate porridge, chips for lunch and a pizza for dinner!! Back on it now though and feeling ready for March :) How are you doing? You're CD10 aren't you? How's it going with the OPKs? x

@danielasummer Yes, it came full force Friday night. I also had pizza. 😂 I'm ok though.

@fayy123 @Pixielou16 so sorry i wasnt ignoring your comments ive had a few days without my phone but i feel so refreshed and ready now! So CD 11 for me (i think🤔)

Congrats @Mummy2wannabe2020, brilliant news!!

Hope everyone else is doing good 🥰

Yes huge congratulations @Mummy2wannabe2020 🎉👣

CD11 I think today for me @Shazzzzz, but god knows what's going on. Just going back to doing the deed madness this month and hoping for the best. Did Thursday, Friday, Saturday and yesterday but got to have a break until Thursday now again as my partner is away.

I have a good feeling about this month now my cycles are back to normal but I always have a 'good feeling' at least for a portion of the last 5 months so could be seriously looking at a 2021 baby now

@ChampooPapi im hoping it is anyway, i have read a few posts to say that my MC is a period but the nurse at EPU said its not so just dtd anyway as much as i can 🤷🏽‍♀️ x

Really tmi question ladies, but nothing can be tmi when TTC ey😂 how necessary is it to orgasm when TTC? It’s so hard when you are just thinking of doing it on the right dates etc..

@fayy123 what do you mean by necessary? I read if you orgasm before ejaculation it increases the chance of pregnancy but i dont know if that is just 💩 x