TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

One day I'll post without a major bold fail...

Thank you so much for the kind gift @Mumlili8 ❤️ you are so thoughtful and generous. It means a lot xx

Big thank you to everyone on here for your support. I really appreciate having you guys in this huddle ☺️

I'm struggling a bit this weekend, seem to be quite crampy and light bleeding which I know can be normal, especially as I did have the polyp removed so they did more rummaging. Dh even commented that I'm distant and negative (I honestly don't even know that I'm doing that?) we spent some nice time together yesterday but I think he's frustrated with me 😔

That's lovely that you have somewhere special for your babies @SunshineCrocodile ❤️

Hope everyone has a lovely day xxx

@SunshineCrocodile thanks for sharing. Its strange how even in the same woman that hcg can fall at different levels! The lines are fainter now but still there! Hoping they drop soon as want this first period to be over with and then start trying again :) are you waiting for your next period before ttc again?

I've been tracking calories with my fitness pal as well! I lost a lot of weight after the miscarriage so trying to put that back on (dont hate me 🙈- I know everyone else is losing weight but I have always struggled with gaining weight)

@SunshineCrocodile No I’ve tested enough that I’ve given up on a BFP and yesterday I started to get PMT although that’s very late given I usually get that about a week before AF is due and AF was due about 5 days ago... I do get bad PMT though, I feel emotional and depressed so now I just want AF to come tbh!

Yes I think we never want to bury our babies obviously but once the worst had happened I do don’t it helps to be able to have a place to visit. I visited my daughter’s grave yesterday and it helps me to feel I’m doing something sometimes. Even if I don’t go that often it helps to know I can.

I didn’t go to my party as I didn’t feel up to it. I haven’t been well this week and I probably had the start of PMT on Friday but hopefully they understand as they know I usually make an effort to go and they knew I’d passed out on Wednesday night as I was off work on the Thursday. I went to client do on Wednesday and wore some heeled boots and my feet really hurt too as I’m not used to wearing heels these days either!

@VenusStarr I hope you’re ok.

@Anny27 To be honest for me it’s not just about the number on the scales, in fact I don’t really weight myself and don’t know what I weight, but a big part of it is just being healthier. I know I eat too much chocolate! I am a little bigger since I had my daughter (I had a full term loss) but maybe just a dress size and I think maybe I have to accept my body has changed because I had a baby! I should still make an effort to get in shape though...

Hope everyone else is ok xx

Would love to have some wine with you ladies 😍😉 How's the hangover @MrsMGE? Got some McDonalds in the end? My Christmas party is this Thursday, so I'll feel the same as you on Friday! @Avocuddles, are you still waiting for O/AF?

Not much to report here, really busy how before next week when I'm sure things will die down for the holidays. I'm not taking any time off apart from the regular days we get (Xmas Day, Boxing Day). What about you ladies?

I'm definitely up for healthy living from next year! I'm already healthy during the weeks but it's difficult for me to stay on the straight and narrow during the weekends 🤣🐷 Maybe I'll try to do dry Jan.

@SunStruck I'm definitely with you on a healthy weekends and dry Jan mission, it's hard on the weekends!

Yesterday was a write off, I was dying on my sofa for hours, although McDs took the edge off! Today I got up, blitzed my house and currently putting up my decorations. Got friends and family coming over later, so a busy Sunday! I made a mistake of weighing myself this morning and it showed 1 kg more than before my work do on Friday, so girls, DON'T DO THAT to yourselves 😂 I'm eating better today and back on to being good this week... Apart from two client lunches, but I'll be as good as I can 😊

I'm not taking any time off either. 23 Dec was meant to be the beginning of my maternity leave and I'd rather keep myself busy than stay at home and overthink things again xxx

@SunshineCrocodile it was really relaxing thank you. The lady that done it is also a psychic and she said something interesting afterwards. I wasn't to make any decisions till after a week on Monday ... she was able to tell me that this message was from my mum by pinpointing her anniversary.

The only decision I guess we have at the moment is when to start trying again. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow for bloods so maybe its a sign I need to wait on the results? I am being tested for antiphosphilip syndrome as I had a positive result a few years back.

I get that many of you may not believe in all of this and think I am raving but I do take some comfort in it all.

@MissSparkles81 I don't dismiss that at all. I used to be the most reasonable person of all, scientific explanation for everything, and of course I used to think all the things we talked about before - psychics, crystals, meditation, acupuncture, reiki, reflexology, are a joke or some kind of witchcraft.

Following my MC I had a number of inexplicable events happening in my life which made me tune into my spiritual side. I am totally converted, there is definitely more to life than what we can see and explain. And if it's comforting and gives you reassurance, then great - it's best to go with it. Very tempted to have a reading mysekf, but I'm scared tbh. Xxx

@MrsMGE There is nothing to be scared off. I have been for lots of readings in the past but when my mum died I couldnt face going. Maybe this is a sign that its time to go for a reading.

I love alternative therapies and will be starting my reflexology sessions again in January and will keep the reiki sessions going.

The way I see it is I dont drink or smoke or really go out that much so its my treats to myself.

@MissSparkles81 My friend had a reading after she lost her nan and then had a miscarriage few months later. She was told she'd end up having two children (she's had her rainbow since). She told me that they would not tell you anything negative (such as death, illness etc) - is this right? Xxx

@MrsMGE don’t worry about that, I think our weights fluctuate throughout it the day depending on all sorts of things. Have a nice Sunday!

@MrsSparkles @MrsMGE I’d like to see a psychic or something like that. I’ve always been interested, I realise some people will take you for a ride but I believe some have “the gift”. I too was the most rational and logical person but I have had some experiences in my life that have shown me there is more to life than what is obvious on the surface. Anyway if I could get a could local recommendation for a psychic / fortune teller I think I’d go although I too am a bit scared of hearing bad news or even inferring it!

@SunStruck yes still waiting, up to CD53 now! I also have my work party on Thursday so will be joining you in the 'morning after' club on Friday. I have my fertility clinic appointment on Thursday morning so am hoping that I'll get an update which will mean that we can going with some support come the new year. DH and I were both intending on doing dry January no matter what so it would be perfect if we could combine our health kick with some productive 'action'!

@MrsMGE I was also supposed to be starting mat leave at Christmas as my first due date was in early January. I suspect the coming weeks might be tough, especially as one of my colleagues is due at the start of February so the baby / mat leave talk is impossible to avoid.

Had DH's mum and nan here today. Both DH's brother and cousin have recently announced pregnancies so they have two more grand/great grandchildren due in May / June. They know about our losses but I find their optimism very difficult sometimes. DH's younger brother gets married next October and MIL said how nice it would be if they had not two but three babies there. Given this would require us both getting and staying pregnant within the next two months I think this is pretty unlikely. I tried to brush it off with a comment about maybe not but it's ok because she's got the others. I then nearly burst into tears when MIL told me that she'd been to visit DH's dad's grave this week and asked if he could help me out!!! I know they mean well but I find it very sad being with them sometimes as their grandchild / future grandchildren mean the world to them and we haven't been able to give them one.

@MissSparkles81 I don't think you're raving!
Do you take blood thinners when pregnant as a result of the APS test, or is this test to find out whether that would be the right course of action? Speaking as someone with a clotting disorder if there's a suspicion that you might have one it could be worth waiting to get the results to ensure you have the right treatment.

Saw a double rainbow this morning - hopefully it is a sign for all of us.....

@Avocuddles there was a double rainbow here (north London) too this afternoon so let’s definitely consider it a sign for all of us

@Avocuddles @JuniperandRose I saw a double rainbow today too ❤️❤️❤️🌈🌈 It made me smile and I'm smiling even more now having read your posts xxx

@Avocuddles It's bittersweet to hear something like this. We went to see DHs grandparents and bless his heart, his grandad is 90 and every time says that he's hoping to live long enough to hold our baby. He's not very well and we're their main carers due to a difficult family situation on DH's side. It breaks my heart when he says this as there's nothing more that I want than to bring that baby to him to hold. They were the first people we told about my pregnancy because I was worried grandad would pass away not knowing. Enough said, when my baby died, it broke my heart to a million pieces also for that reason.

I'm feeling sad today, I've put all our lovely decorations up and it's all hit me that I'm not where I was supposed to be, that our baby isn't coming next month. We must have been sooo close in due dates @Avocuddles, literally days apart. I'm sending you so much love today ❤️❤️❤️ xxx

Oh @Avocuddles people mean well don’t they but as if you need pressure to get pregnant within 2 months! It might happen but it might not!

@MrsMGE I’m not bothering with Christmas decorations. I’ve done gift shopping and I’m looking forward to our few days away but I can’t face what should have been our daughter’s first Christmas. I know it’s not the same but I know Christmas is hard for so many people. I thought I’d be happy even to be pregnant again by this Christmas but I’m trying not to be impatient...I have the excuse that we’re decorating (upstairs really) so not practical to have a tree!

Oh beautiful rainbows, I'm sure that's good news! 😄

@Avocuddles morning after club will be painful! But I intend to enjoy myself as my due date is next week (18th) so 🤷🏻‍♀️ the funny thing is that My estimated ovulation date is the same date, hopefully that's a sign 😄😄😄

@MrsMGE @Avocuddles I understand where your relatives are coming from as mine say the same things and I know they're not trying to be insensitive (just older people)... but it just puts so much pressure on us. That's also what we want 😔 that's why this group is so good and understanding. People don't think if they haven't been in the same situation.

@MissSparkles81 I fully believe in what you just said and definitely believe there's things in this world we can't see or understand. That must have been a very comforting message for you to hear ❤️

Feeling a bit low this evening. Sister in law has posted her pregnancy announcement all over social media with her 22mth old son wearing a T-shirt saying Santa's promoting me to big brother, along with a caption saying 'Baby R number 2 coming June 2020'. We have the same surname (her husband is DH's brother) so this really hurt as I can't help thinking that the 2nd baby R should have been ours and arriving in January or April. I can't bring myself to add to the wall of congratulations. I imagine that my radio silence will result in a 'how are you hun' message from her within the next few days - when she does get in touch I fully intend to reply that I'm not great as I'm coming up to my due date and this time of year is very painful.....

On a nicer note one of my closest friends who has recently become a Mum posted a lovely message on social media stating that instead of sending Christmas cards she's donated to Tommy's miscarriage research, and praising the amazing work that they do. I know full well that she's chosen this charity because of what I (and DH) have gone through, and this more than makes up for the insensitivity of others. It's good to know that there are people who care, and I've always said that your friends are the family you choose....

@MrsMGE sending you so much love too. Should have been 8 months today

I think it’s understandable you’d feel that way, life can feel so unfair sometimes, and you should absolutely be honest if SIL asks how you are. Donating to Tommy’s is lovely of your friend. It’s nice when people surprise us that way. On Mother’s Day this year my DH cousin was posted something to acknowledge those missing their mother or a their child. I can’t remember the exact wording and I’m sure it was only for us but lovely when people think outside their own bubbles - which seems rare sometimes!

Hi all,

I’ve just come across this thread after trying to look for answers about ovulating after a miscarriage. Sorry for all your losses.

I’m 31, have no children of my own. Had a missed miscarriage mid October at 9 weeks. I was wanting some advice on when to start tracking for ovulation but answers I find don’t really relate to me. I had medical miscarriage management that wasn’t successful, a second round didn’t help either and ended up having surgery. The whole process from finding out there was no heartbeat, to having the surgery was 7 weeks. I want to start ttc but at odds. At the moment I feel like I’m wasting money on ovulation sticks. Any advice would be great xx

@Avocuddles the test tomorrow is to find out if I have any clotting issues. I had a positive test 3 years ago and then a follow up one was negative. With my recent mc I just want to know if everything is ok before we start trying again. My Gp said that if its positive then they may give my aspirin if I fall pregnant again. Will just need to wait and see. I can only imagine how you are feeling seeing that announcement from your sister in law. Sending the biggest hug

@MrsMGE A true psychic will never tell you anything bad so no need to worry about that. I know that there are a few "cowboys" out there but some of the ones I have seen have been scarily accurate with things they have told me.

@GemLou88 I started tracking the day I got my negative test after my mc. Its been nearly a week now and no sign of ovulation yet. My mc was 4 weeks ago at 9 weeks. Im just using the cheap opk's at the moment then will switch to the clearblue ones next cycle. I am so sorry for your loss but glad you have found this group. The ladies in here have been so friendly and welcoming. Its a club that no one wants to be in but these ladies make it a wee bit easier.

How lovely that so many people have seen double rainbows today. Hopefully it is a sign for us all.

@MissSparkles81 thanks for the hug - sending one back in return! I hope you don't have to wait too long to get your test results back.
I had a major thrombosis ten years ago now which means that any pregnancies are automatically deemed high risk. I have a cupboard full of loaded needles ready for daily injections if I do manage to get pregnant again naturally, along with aspirin. Unfortunately this treatment hasn't helped me with either pregnancy so far, but the key thing is protecting my own health 

@GemLou88 sorry to hear your awful story. I hope you are healing now and have had plenty of support around you. If you wish you can start tracking ovulation straight away, but you might find that you don't have a 'normal' cycle straight away. Alternatively just 'go with the flow' this time until AF arrived (or doesn't!) and then track. I wish you lots of luck and hope it doesn't take long for you to have your rainbow baby.

@Avocuddles @MissSparkles81 thank you both for your replies. It’s never anything you think will happen to you but it always amazing how supportive this club is. I’ve bought some clear blue digital trackers but don’t want to use them until I get AF. I’m trying to relax and just see what happens. But I feel there’s a void I want fill. Sending you both lots of love xx

@Avocuddles How are you today lovely?

I'm having a shit run, just came back from a client meeting, the client has now become more of a friend of mine, bang, here comes the "I'm pregnant" announcement. She had a MC in after me. I'm happy for her, but I'm angry that everyone has moved on and managed to get pg but me. I'm so fed up. I suspect my work colleague is pg too after IVF, that will be the final nail in the coffin for me, I'm bloody surrounded by pregnant women, she's the 9th pregnant woman in my circle 🙄🙄🙄

I wondered if anyone had any advice on the first period after an early (5 weeks) miscarriage? I ovulated right when I would normally expect to after the miscarriage so I am expecting my first period today or tomorrow and have had quite bad cramping from last Thursday and am preparing myself for a painful period. Is this normal? I hope everyone is well, this thread moves quite quickly so I have found it a bit difficult to keep up