TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Mumlili8]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

Aw @SunStruck you've made me smile ❤️ I know what you mean, my soul sister, we've been through ups and downs together 🌺 If we'd met in RL, I think we'd be BFFs 😘

Soppy moment, so many of you on here are genuinely so lovely, I feel I can speak to you like with my closest friends. Imagine if we sat down one night together with wine/gin/whatever we like, I think we'd be very merry & chatting all night! ❤️ Xxx

Thank you @VenusStarr and I'm glad you're feeling a bit better & it sounds like your appointment was very helpful. Wonderful news, keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

@ReeRi How are you feeling? I agree with your earlier comment and thought the same as @SunStruck, that woman was waaaay too direct with you, I'd be astonished if someone I don't know too well asked me such a personal question. She doesn't seem to have a filter, does she?

@Avocuddles Where is AF?? Any news? Sit ups? Run? Hot bath? They seem to work for me in speeding up AF?

I also agree re your comment entirely, women in similar situations (and in general in my view) should be supporting each other 100%. The best example is all of us on here, it's a 33rd thread, 1000 posts each, and we're here for each other. They should be writing books about female solidarity based on us! 😂 On a serious note, the fact we're in this together makes it so much better and there's no stopping us, ladies ❤️ xxx

I’m ok thanks. I think it was good for me to stay home today

Tomorrow is my Christmas party and I just don’t feel like going! I said I’d go but with having been unwell last night as well as having found out a few days ago I have a dental abscess I might have an excuse! But then feel bad not going. I just feel like I don’t have anything I want to wear and don’t fancy making small talk...

Yes the woman is weird @MrsMGE I’m glad I said what I said and now don’t car what happens. It’s forward of her but more since she was so focussed on herself last time that she was a bit rude to me!

I agree that this thread is so wonderfully supportive @MrsMGE

@ReeRi Mine is tomorrow too and I feel exactly the same! Plus a work colleague has really annoyed me today and I'm a bit like eurgh why do I need to spend my spare time with people from work (although in general they are nice people). But, I am not going to be a grump and I'll show my face! Only for a couple of hours. Wearing my all time favourite: a slimming LBD 😂 xxx

Oh I might be a grump @MrsMGE and not go! 🙈 My best work friends have all left on the last year, I will end up sitting next to someone in my team who annoys me, and I just feel like I don’t have the small talk in me!

I won’t drink because AF still hasn’t arrived plus I’m on antibiotics for my abscess...

I still feel a bit conflicted though and like I would go if I can find something to wear! Part of it is my body isn’t the same since I had my daughter so I wouldn’t wear the dresses I already have

I’ll let you know whether I decide to go! I hope you have a good time anyway

@MrsMGE fantastic news on your promotion, and a double triumph really for not only getting it but doing so in the face of all this TTC crap. Am also on a huge health kick now I can't blame my waistline on a baby bump any more, I have well over a stone (ok, maybe 2) to shift to get back to my happy place. Happy to keep you company on the weight loss journey!

@Mumlili8 sorry to hear AF arrived, hugs to you.

@MissSparkles81 glad you've got your BFN. Are you going to wait for next cycle or try again straight away? I tested today and was really shocked to get only the faintest of squinters less than a week after the physical miscarriage - admittedly I've been drinking gallons today on my health kick so was basically peeing water but last MC it was a blazing positive for weeks. I'll try again in a few days to see if it's a true negative. Irrelevant at the moment as I'm still bleeding but once that stops I guess I'm back in the game.

@Avocuddles long cycles are just awful. Mentally completely draining. I really hope you get the clomid next week. And in the nicest way I kind of hope AF holds off for another few days for you so you're in the right window to start it straight away - if you wanted to of course!

I have to steer clear of the conception/pregnancy boards as a general rule (unless I'm feeling particularly masochistic). The obliviousness isn't malicious but it is completely infuriating.

@ReeRi sorry you're feeling crap, hope you're better soon. Your friend was so horribly insensitive, I'm glad you raised it with them and hope they rise to it and become a better friend for it.

@VenusStarr I'm glad your op went smoothly and that you've come out of it feeling positive. Hope you can move onto the next steps ASAP now.

I went for a nice long walk yesterday in the sunshine and had a quiet little burial by the river where my other baby is. And then had a bit of a cry. TBH I haven't felt as emotional this time round - I don't know if it was because I was expecting it every second I was pregnant so it wasn't as much of a shock as it was the time before. That or I'm developing a heart of stone. Either way it was almost nice to let myself be wholeheartedly sad for a little while. It feels like I've got a bit of closure anyway.

Just to echo @MrsMGE's lovely post - I'm so grateful to everyone here for the support and just to know there's a hive mind somewhere that 'gets' it. Thanks everyone

Hi ladies
@VenusStarr glad to hear all went well with your op. Can I ask how did you feel after, did they put you to sleep and how long did it take. I'm hoping my consultant will do one for me.
@Avocuddles I'm sorry AF is still on her jollies. I just hope she's not to evil when she does show up.
@MrsMGE I echo your lovely post x
@ReeRi sorry your feeling a bit rubbish hun x
@SunshineCrocodile your walk and burial sounds like it really helped you. I know what you mean about being less emotional about this loss. I've had 8 now and where each loss was heartbreaking, after the first two I kind of expect my pregnancies to end that way now. It's so sad that we've lost that innocent excitement, any pregnancy we have now is a little marred by fear and terrible anxiety. But we must look to the future with hope and purpose. We will have our babies, we just might have to climb more mountains and jump more hoops than some other people, but we will get there.
@MissSparkles81 welcome back on the ttc crazy train, let's hope yours is the next stop at bfp Town. Lol the journey might send us a little loopy but it'll be worth it in the end.

Well as for me yet another rediculous AF cd2 and its almost over. It never really got past red spotting only need a panty liner. I just can't work out what's going on, my estrogen is perfect, progesterone high and an almost perfect bbt chart. I'm not menopausal according to the rmc. It doesn't make any sense that my periods are so so light since the last erpc. I get all the really bad cramps, nauseated, boob ache and it's all for nothing. I'm convinced that's why I keep having cp's now because there's no where for a baby to grow 😔 Can't wait to see the consultant in January, hopefully get so answers.

Baby dust all round for you lovely ladies xxx

@MrsMGE I imagine we could pass a lot of wine... I mean time.... if we were in the same room. No sign of AF yet but unfortunately it's not that unusual for me, things were this way for a year before my first pregnancy and no amount of jumping around or hot baths help, much as I do love a good soak.... I've been ovulation testing for over four weeks without a sniff of a positive yet I've still been pregnancy testing every few days 'just in case'. I know realistically that I'm not going to get a BFP, i think it's more to make me feel better about the odd glass of wine (or I imagine multiple in the case of my work do next week...) and Christmas coffee. I've cut back a lot throughout this journey but not 100% (moderation is everything!) though I'm going to have a dry and caffeine free January and intend to keep that going for the foreseeable.

@ReeRi what are you team doing for the Christmas party - is it a long drawn out meal or something you could dive out of quickly if you're not enjoying it? I suspect it might be ok once you were there, but if it feels more of a chore than a pleasure then don't force yourself to go. Let us know what you decide....

@SunshineCrocodile I know what you mean about wanting AF to hold off so we could start meds straight away, it has crossed my mind though realistically I think I would probably choose to wait until the new year to start if we were given the go ahead. The thought of having to deal with the potential side effects of a new treatment over Christmas whilst we're visiting family is a bit daunting, plus we're staying away from the 24th December to 2nd January (neither of our families live nearby) and I can't imagine much if any DTD will be on the agenda with assorted family members next door....!
Well done on managing a health kick at this time of the year! I'm planning on restarting weight watchers in January and also have between 1 and 2 stone to shift.
I'm glad you feel like you got some closure yesterday. Be kind to yourself over the coming weeks as you will no doubt have plenty of ups and downs, but rest assured we are all here for you.

@Mumlili8 thanks! I would quite like a huge AF - like you mine have generally been quite light and short which makes you wonder what if anything goes on in there during my epically long cycles! Hopefully my appointment next week will give me some answers, as will yours in the new year....

The thing tomorrow is the Leeds office party so about 70 people will go and it’s a formal dinner with drinks and dancing. I’m won’t drink, I won’t dance and I can’t be bothered making small talk. HOWEVER I was just looking for something to wear for it... I actually think if I had something to wear it’d be fine!

We then have a team thing next week on Tuesday which is in Manchester and will be the rest of our team getting ready from the different offices which is a daytime lunch and I am going to that

@Avocuddles hope your appointment goes well, let us know what they say about why your cycles are so long but AF light and short. Fingers crossed they let you try clomid or something similar x

@SunshineCrocodile Have you buried your baby near to where you love? My daughter is buried and I find it comforting in some way to have somewhere to go to visit her

@Avocuddles I will join you on the health kick!

Have you spoken to anyone so far about your shorter cycles @Mumlili8? I think I mentioned before that my cycles changed quite a lot about 3-4 years ago and went from 5 day medium to heave to 3 day medium to light periods... No one seemed to think it was a problem. Around that time I was having hormonal issues too and irregular periods so was checked for various things like PCOS and I actually worried about early menopause but they didn’t seem to think it was an issue

I hope you get some answers in Jan anyway

Hope everyone is on today?

I got a BFN on FRER at CD34 (cycle usually 30 days) so have officially given up hope for this cycle!

Hey @Mumlili8 yes I had it under general anesthetic. I went down to theatre about 12.30 and was back on the ward at about 3ish. I was a bit crampy so the recovery nurse have me oramorph and they'd already given me diclofenac whilst I was under and I had paracetamol on a drip. I actually think the pain and discomfort after my hsg was far worse. I've had to use my heat wrap a few times and only taken paracetamol and ibuprofen a couple of times. I'm very tired though - had a 3 hour nap yesterday afternoon! Hope when you get seen they do offer you one. I had no idea I had a polyp despite loads of scans. I am wondering if they thought it was a fibroid but when they got in there with the camera it was easier to see.
The waiting was hard but I'm so glad I had it done.

@ReeRi I'm sorry about the bfn, did you track ovulation this cycle?

Hey @SunshineCrocodile that's an awesome idea! I've approached things differently this year, I'm eating really well as much as I can in December. Of course, we will be out a lot and it's Christmas (I'm going to enjoy my food), but I'm not allowing madness every single day - not to lose weight, but to maintain it this month so it's easier for me to really concentrate on it from January. I too should lose a stone, if I lose two I'll be super slim and happy. I'm planning to be very, very good Jan-Mar and see where I am. I might then reintroduce some foods, but really, I think I might well continue on the same basis as this month, i.e. enjoy meals out and special occasions, but be very good on all other days. I genuinely think I've been feeling sorry for myself and been overeating and snacking, and it just adds up. I kind of told myself now that most people live like this and I don't need this food...it was emotional eating. So I'm trying to make a change in my mindset for life, not for a short-term diet, if that makes sense.

I'm happy to be weight loss buddies - if you want, we can post our weekly losses on here starting from January for motivation? It's like a free SW group 😁💪 xxx

@ReeRi I reckon wait a couple of days and try CB Digital. If you ovulated late, which you said you may have, it's not necessarily game over this cycle. I know how it feels to keep hoping and then come crashing down, but I think you may need few more days before it's a definite BFN. Are you better today, physically? Xxx

@VenusStarr @MrsMGE I didn’t track but thought I ovulated late because of my CM but only about four days late so AF should be due now and I should get a positive on a FRER. I did get a faint positive on a cheapie Boots on Monday night but think it was a dodgy test as I got a BFN the next morning with FMU and have had about 6 negative FRERs since last week! No PMT either though!

Yes let’s be healthy buddies or whatever. I don’t really weigh myself but maybe I should. Do we need a separate thread for that? The Penguin Weight Loss huddle?! 😂

That's frustrating @ReeRi, hope you get an answer soon.

I'm up for a healthy / weight loss support. I've just joined slimming world and it turns out I have put on 2 stone this year 🤮 first weigh in tomorrow.

Been doing more reading on polyps and am convinced that it may be the reason for my second miscarriage. I've emailed my rmc consultant for his opinion.

Morning ladies I hope that you are all ok. Im feeling really down as today I should have been going for my 12 week scan. Im trying not to dwell on it but its hard. I had a breakdown with my GP yesterday. Thankfully she is lovely and let me have a good cry and assured me that she doesn't think I am losing my mind.

For those who asked I dont really know if J will try again this cycle. I am tracking using opk's but mentally I just dont think Im there yet.

@sunshinecrocodile your burial sounds so peaceful and I hope you feel a wee bit better for having a good cry and letting it all out. Big hugs.

@reeri I am sorry to hear about the negative.

Plan for today is to take myself off for a bacm massage and reflexology to try and take my mind off things.

Ladies, I can't cope with more than one thread, let's just post a weekly update on our progress on Saturdays to start the weekend well 😊👍 I think this is fab, finally we'll focus on something good like getting fitter/slimmer! This can only do us good 🌺 xxx

Thanks @VenusStarr I think I have my answer but don’t mind a slightly longer cycle right now given DH isn’t able to do the deed for a couple of weeks anyway following his surgery!

I hope you get some answers too but I think, particularly with first trimester MC, it can be hard to pinpoint the reason.

Are we starting this weight loss thing in the new year or now? Christmas is not a good time 😂

@VenusStarr hope your recovery is still going well xx

Im happy to join in with the healthy eating! My eating has been diabolical over the past few weeks.

Aw @MissSparkles81 big hugs to you 🌺 We know how this feels. Have another cry if you need to and be gentle with yourself for the next few days ❤️ I'm going to reflexology tomorrow as well, I hope you feel better afterwards.

@SunshineCrocodile I just wanted to say your words about the burial were beautiful, very poignant, I shed a little tear ❤️ xxx