Over 40's TTC loads of baby dust to all... 5

[Chatbash72]

Hope this works as we lots the thread

@Catclock I've taken Agnus Castus when I first came off the pill to TTC my DS a few years ago as my cycles were a bit long and short luteal phase. It's hard to tell if it made much difference - my luteal phase has maybe lengthened by 1 day but i still got pregnant then anyway. It might be worth doing some research as I think I've read it can make things worse if it's not needed?

I've also taken Maca but to regulate hormones and help spots. I agree with Liissaa, the powder tastes horrible - capsules are much easier to take.

@KediKat - your MC sounds very similar to my first one. I did a bit of research on trying again and it seems that the only reason to wait is that it's easier to date a pregnancy if you've had a period in between. I tried again straight away and got pregnant - apparently you're more fertile straight after. That pregnancy was a MMC at 8.5 weeks but I don't think that was down to getting pregnant straight after the first MC - it was just one of those things. So I think definitely try again if you feel OK with doing that. My ovulation after early miscarriage was pretty much bang on time as if the MC had been a period.

Thanks for the congratulations @Chatbash72.

I've ordered some 300 mg capsules of ubiquinol to up my dose this month. I'm also trying to eat better. Does anyone take low dose aspirin? I did when I was pregnant with DS and wondering whether to start it again, maybe just in the 2WW.

Hi @Catclock I'm also 43 and had a similar experience in September. I had a MC at ten weeks in April but I thought everything had settled until I had an 11 day cycle. It really got me down and GP just blamed the MC even though it was 5 months after. I started acupuncture immediately and I think it has helped. Next cycle was 23 days, then 29 and now on CD 30 with temperatures that seem more "normal " (I had only started temping during the 11 day cycle so not much experience) and expecting AF on Sunday.
I had been taking Macca and Vitex from the MC up to the short cycle but stopped then. I'm now taking Vitex again this cycle but I believe that the acupuncture has been the thing that's really helped.
Sorry for the long post but I hope it's helpful xx

Hi @Starlight39 I've been wondering about the aspirin as well. I took it before and during pregnancy on DD but not MC. Any advice would be appreciated 😊

Hi @Alarica, sorry to hear you've been through a MC too.

That's interesting about the acupuncture - I'm tempted to give it a go. Does it hurt??

I think I'm going to give aspririn a go this cycle after ov as there is some evidence out there it helps and maybe it did with my DS. I think there's a slim chance it can delay or affect ov so I won't take it before then.

@KediKat sorry for the delay... but yes chemicals/early miscarriages do seem to be more common at our age. Not sure if it's just the egg quality or other issues... it is worth getting a full thyroid profile (including antibodies) as mine found I had high thyroid antibodies which are linked to miscarriage. Also last time I had a bacterial infection which apparently is also associated....
Wishing you luck for the next cycle!

@Starlight39 I was also told to take aspirin from ovulation (and progesterone).

Hi @Starlight39 just back from my acupuncture session! I don't find it painful. There's a bit of a pinch or twinge as each little needle goes in, like a pin prick I suppose, then nothing after that. She also gives me a massage which is great for stress apparently but not the most enjoyable experience 😂 I never knew I was carrying stress in my hips!!
Think I'll try the aspirin from OV next cycle too @NicLondon1 thanks

Gah, so this is second cycle of TTC number 2. I'm 41. Clue was telling me I'd ovulate monday and I'd got a flashing smiley on the OPK, so DH and I didn't bother DTD last night as we were both too knackered. Did an OPK this morning and it was a bloody static smiley!!!! DH is out tonight with mates and can't cancel. He came home mid morning when DC was down and we DTD really quickly. Going to try again tomorrow but blasted annoyed at self that I didn't do another OPK last night and that we didn't DTD last night either!

Thanks for your advice ladies. I hear what you're saying about not taking stuff unless it's needed. I'll leave off the AC and see if things settle a bit on their own this month.
Gosh it's just the 'panic' isn't it. At 'an older age'. That our 'time is running out'.
I actually hate the pressure society focuses on our age. It doesn't help at all. Many people have problems at all ages.

Awww @burntpinky it's a logistical nightmare isn't it! I have to be so aware to pace dtd and also timing it so my oh doesn't get run down! It becomes so calculated :-/ x

@Catclock - yes it’s really not nice that it has to be this way, but sadly it does, esp at my age!!!

We didn’t manage to DTD on Sat as DH’s sister came round whilst DC was down for morning nap (and ate all my bloody salted caramel m&m’s!) then DC wouldn’t nap in afternoon and wouldn’t go down for bed until late, by which point we were just too shattered!

Did it yesterday morning so hoping not too late. According to clue, AF due 11th

@Alarica thanks for the info about the acupuncture. Glad it doesn't hurt much!

@burntpinky - sounds like your timing was good with the mid morning Friday DTD! I read that there's only a small reduction in % chance with DTD every other day vs every day so I take heart from that sometimes! I just double checked online and it is 25% chance having sex every day vs 22% for every other day so not a big change.

@Catclock I agree about the pressure due to age. It's hard!

@NicLondon1 that's interesting you were told to take aspirin after ov. I'm definitely going to this month. Does progesterone have to be prescribed? I'm tempted to get a thyroid test too.

A mum at a party yesterday made me feel a bit shit twice with a comment about boys suffering from the rise in single mums (I'm not with DS's Dad) and then a comment about how she "got it out of the way" with 2 kids close together when she was young. I know she didn't mean to and it was just a foot in mouth moment but it still stung a bit. i was half expecting her to say something negative about only children and make it a hat trick!!

I'm CD7 and will start temping tomorrow. DP has been working away every day for the last 8 days but should be a bit quieter now till Christmas so hopefully he'll be home every night during my fertile period this month.

Hi all.

I was on the thread last year but disappeared for a while. Found life a bit of a struggle, with ttc part of that. Last December I had a bfp, the day before I got married. Gave the pregnancy test to my partner on the morning of the wedding. Less than 2 weeks later I miscarried. Still feel like a failure. Not a sniff of a bfp since but cycles all over the place. Currently on day 70-something and FF has me ovulating 14 days ago but negative test and temp dropping a bit now. I'm now 45 (we started ttc when I was 42, not that long after we met). I'd been taking both DHEA and soy isoflavones for a little while and then read you shouldn't do that so stopped both. Taken ashwaganda for a couple of months to try and regulate things but stopped that too now because of the 70 day cycle. Have a new pot of soy to go for after I actually get round to having another period (if I do). But, I'm bursting into tears at the drop of a hate still. Pesky mental health issues! Very rude!

Still, not ready to give up yet despite all of this.

@crivit I am not TTC (I am single) but reading the thread because I am over 40 myself and childless. Just wanted to give you a hug xxx Nature is so unfair to us women. Take care of yourself x

Hi everyone. I hope it’s okay to jump on this chat? This is the first time I’ve posted on mumsnet so not sure how it works!

I’m hoping for advice on fertility clinics in London or South East (Kent area) that specialise in fertility for the over 40s. I’m 43, my partner is 42 - we had two natural pregnancies last year that resulted in miscarriage and have been trying naturally for the past 12 months. My partner has now been told he has a low sperm count/mobility/ morphology due to medication Which he now has to take for chronic arthritis. I also have low amh (1.3) and afc of around 7 so I think there are fewer options available.

We went to a last minute open evening at Create in Wimbeldon and signed up for a scan and consultation this week (with potential for mini ivf) - i did feel it was a rather pushy sales pitch and having only just decided to look into ivf I want to investigate other options for our age group. And whether mini ivf is the best for us or if we should go for full ivf? I’m a bit clueless here.

Any advice from people would be greatly appreciated!

Hi @crivit gosh you've had a time of it. I think you should keep at it. It's incredibly upsetting and frustrating and every single other emotion available to have. I have no children (yet..) and at 43 I'm fully aware I may never have but that thought is one I just cannot think yet, as it is too overwhelming and upsetting. I do believe there is hope for everyone on this thread, and all we can do is try xx

I'm hear ladies.. not ducking out... still reading but not participating... father in law passed away very suddenly on Saturday... all family in total shock.... and my brain is a bit full... but thinking of you all.... sending love , hugs and oodles of baby dust.... keep dtd 😘😘😘😘😘

@crivit so sorry things are hard and for your MC. You should definitely just keep trying and hoping. I think the soy can be really good - it has resulted in 2 pregnancies for me although I've not taken it this cycle.

So sorry to hear about your father in law @Chatbash72, sending lots of love.

Hi @Tamster14 and welcome. I'm afraid I don't know much about IVF etc. Maybe shop around a few clinics to find the right feel for you? The pushy sales pitch does sound a bit off putting for something so important.

So sorry @Chatbash72. What a horrible shock for you all. Sending much love. Xx

Thank you @Starlight39 - that’s the plan to try and find some info and realistic budgets! We want to start ASAP as it now seems our only option.

@crivit I’m sorry for your loss - Ive also had a few long cycles and just felt so powerless when you have no idea what your body is doing or how to plan. It’s hard to stay positive during this process. Pls be kind to yourself, self love can sometimes feel the hardest thing to do - but also the best tonic.

@Tamster14 I'm in Kent; I had ivf in Tunbridge wells that didn't work -but that was 13 years ago! Personally I think being so near London it's worth investigating several London clinics eg the lister? We ended up going abroad (for cost reasons really) but I was in my mid 30s then.
I'm just lurking on this board as although I'm 46 I'm too keen on babies to admit I've probably had my last....

@Chatbash72 I’m so sorry to hear about your father in law, thinking of you xx

@crivit Sorry for your losses, it’s all so hard xx

I’m having a rotten week, DS has been poorly, I have to resubmit my first assignment for my degree (along with half the class!!) and I’ve got a huge spot on my chin that definitely means that AF is on the way! I’m so upset as I thought having the HSG might have helped and was convinced this month might be it.

I’m just going to put everything out my mind for a week as we’re off to Disneyland Paris tomorrow night for DS’s 2nd Birthday and want to have a nice time.
It was my first Wedding Anniversary yesterday and we really thought we’d have our little baby by then so to not even be pregnant is so hard.

Hi, I’m a bit nervous posting here because it’s not somewhere I thought I would ever be!

I have 2dc, 8 and 16 and have been in pretty much a loveless/sexless relationship for 12 years until I met someone only very recently ( as in a couple of months ago ) who turned my world upside down.

He’s 43 and I’m 42 next month. We are madly in love and are talking about the future and he said to me that he would love another baby ( his are 10 and 18 ) which freaked me out at first due to my age.

Having mentioned it to several friends I’ve heard about lots of people 40plus having babies and now am warming to the idea.

He’s a great person and an amazing dad but I worry about the fact that we’ve only been together for 5 minutes and my age big have just read this thread and there are more of us than I realised.

New man has a high sex drive which is a shock when having been with someone who has no interest and is really positive about our future. We are being “careful” as in using my cycle of 27 days which has never changed since I was 10yrs old and I use the Flo app.

Any words of wisdom or stories of very new relationships having a baby?

I wish you all so much luck and baby dust and will be following this thread with my fingers crossed whilst I decide what to do.

Am petrified to be honest but also a bit excited. I hope it’s ok to post this here and don’t mean to offend anyone by being so unsure of what to do

@zoflorabore just read your post and this sounds a bit like my story. I was with someone for 15 years which was a kind of loveless relationship and we had a little boy together. We split up due to his cheating which to be fair was a probably the best thing that happened to me. I ended up finding someone else very quickly even though I wasn't looking, an old friend from school and I feel madly in love. He hasn't got any children and at 42 we decided to try for our own. It feels right and its very exciting. This is our first month ttc and af is due in a few days. Had a static smiley face and no flashing ones and we pretty much do the bd everyday as my new partner has a very high sex drive too.... No complaints from me!! Ive been trying not to symptom spot but it's very difficult. Ive been having twinges from about 3dpo, back ache, leg cramps but trying not to get my hopes up. I tested early because I just wanted to know and got bfn. I remember with my son I did the same and got a bfn when I tested too early. Just really hoping that af doesn't arrive and that bfp is on the way. Im so glad you found someone after having the kind of relationship you were on before and I wish you all the best in your journey. Try and stay positive and enjoy xx

@Tamster14 - hope you can get going with the IVF asap.

Hi and welcome @Zoflorabore and congratulations on your new relationship! I think when you get a bit older you have to do what feels right and sometimes that does mean making quick decisions. I've been with DP since I was 36 but practically we haven't been in quite the right place for a baby. In the end, we had to decide to go for it (or not - which would have meant no kids for DP) and we'll make it work. I did a bit of dating between ExH and DP and found that I always knew by 4 months if things weren't right between us so maybe give it till 4 months?