Over 40's TTC loads of baby dust to all... 5

[Chatbash72]

Hope this works as we lots the thread

@MaryShelley1818 sorry you're having a tough week. I've always had a big pregnancy spot the times I've been pregnant so you may not be out yet this month! Hope you have an amazing time at Disneyland and that your DS is feeling better.

@Zoflorabore I can definitely relate to your story too.
I was with my ex husband for 10 years, married for 7. He didn't want kids, was very anti kids to the extent he would go out the room if my niece and nephew came in. Got rid of him (not because of that but it partly added to the fuel on the fire) and have now been with my amazing partner for just over 4 years. We are now on month 4 of ttc. I'm 40 he is 39. We've been living together for a year now

Hi Zoflorabore - for some reason I can’t seem to tag you! I can relate to your circumstances. I met my partner when I had just turned 42 and got pregnant the first month we were together. We hadn’t been careful and I was naively shocked that I’d got pregnant (I didn’t track cycles or anything). Even though we had only been together a few weeks we knew that we wanted to get married and be together. So we decided to go ahead after 6 weeks of knowing each other (for which I’d been pregnant for most of). Sadly I miscarried at 8 weeks, we decided to try again and I was pregnant the following month (also a miscarriage). We are still together and have been trying since my last miscarriage. Unfortunately he has been ill the last year so we have only had a few opportunities to DTD at the right time. I would say def go for it. If you have that connection and it’s something you both want. Even though we haven’t been successful I do believe it made us a lot closer a lot quicker.

Thanks @beckymum - I was considering TW, but like you say - as London is so close! I’m considering Zita West and lister - although they are both substantially more than the other places with the essential add ons mainly excluded from the packages. Money is an issue for us - but better to try than not, we have decided not to marry next year now (we were just about to book venues) and use the budget for this. So fingers crossed.

@Zoflorabore welcome to the thread don't apologise for not being sure of what you want, we're all on a journey and important decisions can difficult to make. I'm 43 and met my current partner (26) 18 months ago we knew instantly that we were going to last but with the big age gap knew that our family and friends might not be so supportive. He has no children, I have 3 from previous relationship (11,12,18). I had the coil removed after being together for 5 months thinking that there would be no way I would fall pregnant and we weren't actively trying and I fell pregnant the 2nd month. After an agonising few weeks we decided to have a termination as we both felt we hadn't been together long enough to be sure our relationship would last and after having been a single mum for 5 years I really wanted to be sure. After being super careful (or so we thought) I fell pregnant again 4 months later and that time we really felt that it was the right decision and we were ready to go ahead with the pregnancy. The termination was really difficult for me and I couldn't have gone through that again. Sadly I miscarried at 7 weeks but we are not actively TTC and am hopeful that it will happen. There is a part of me that will always regret having the termination now I'm sure that we are in it for the long term together but honestly at the time it was the right thing to do. I'm a great believer in the saying 'everything happens for a reason'. I really empathise with your situation, it's not easy especially when it affects so many people! Hopefully reading others stories will help, I know it's helped me x

Thank you @Starlight39.....
Unfortunately it’s all got worse! BFN followed by our flights to Paris being cancelled. Absolutely gutted :(

@MaryShelley1818 Oh no 😢 can you not get alternative flights?

@claireb707 we tried for about 5hrs last night. It’s due to strikes in France and there’s flights being cancelled by the minute. I’ve not slept, just sat surrounded by half packed cases 😪 I know it’s a very ‘first world’ problem but just final straw of a bad week.

I'm gutted for you, don't know where in the country you are, but are you close enough to drive down and get the ferry? Not the same I know but it will mean you get there.

Otherwise hope you get your money back soon and you manage to find something else to celebrate and relax with him

Sorry you've probably thought of that, I'm a problem solver by nature...

Don’t be sorry @claireb707, any ideas are appreciated!!

We’re the NE of England so it would mean about a 12-hr drive each way plus loads of strikes are urging road blocks so nervous about what would happen the other side xx

Ah yeah that's not very feasible 😢😢

Oh no @MaryShelley1818! That must be so disapointing. Can you go somehwere for a night, even if it's just a hotel near the sea with a pool? Even though it was cold, DS and i had a fun time building sandcastles and swimming in the pool last weekend!

I'm CD9 at the moment. This month, I'm starting temping (have done it before but not since my last MC), 2 ovulation tests per day (as I think I missed the surge last month) and drinking lots of water. Plus vitamins and a few other things I'm already doing. I'm finding it helps a little to try and focus on what I'm doing this month and (TRY) not think too much about the future.

Hi ladies hope all is well! Welcome to the newbies x @Chatbash72 hope you’re ok, just seen post.

I had my 20 weeks scan today and we have a wriggler 😀😀 baby doing fine was such a relief all checks are good. Next hurdle done! Saw the new obstetrician she was great really reassuring about natural delivery and they even have high risk room with pool so I’m pretty chuffed now. Finally starting to relax into pregnancy now and baby Jake is moving and dancing around like crazy now 😀

@Cleozeta how are you all ok?
@CritterTamer you too hope all is good. And to everyone else as well.

Congrats reality! That's a big hurdle you have overcome. And how lovely that you have a name! When is your due date?
All fine here so far thank you. 16 weeks tomorrow, so I have my 20 week hurdle just after Christmas (2nd Jan). Apparently due 21st May if all goes well. Still not really sunk in yet, and not telling many people as still convinced it'll go wrong. Hoping to feel more confident if all goes well at 20 weeks

@cleozeta aww that’s great I’m so pleased for you ! My due date is 20 April but I’m convinced it’s wrong and should be 26 April but we will see. To be honest I was the same I really have been so detached and kept telling the midwife in Herts but they didn’t really listen. Since I’ve been here they have been great I’ve seen her twice both times just to hear heartbeat and she has been so understanding. I’ve had a few flutters on and off since about 18 weeks but even then I still thought things would go wrong. The past week movements have got more, work has really calmed down and I was starting to settle in and bond a bit more. The closer we got to the scan the more he started to wriggle then today it’s been non stop as though he was excited for the scan 😀 feeling so relieved now. Still have 24 week mark to get past but I’m feeling pretty good about it now and getting excited x I really am so happy for you too x

I'm now 18dpo (cd32), bfn again but my temp has dropped a lot overnight so suspect period is on its way but no symptoms of it yet (normally get spotting and cramps)

@realitysucks I'm good, thanks for asking 😊 lovely news on your scan! It's always so nice to see positive stories on this thread.

I'm not in here much any more as not able to TTC at the moment. Hoping to go for FET around may time so I'm currently in the process of trying to stop breast feeding so that my cycles return in time for that. It's actually physically and emotionally difficult to stop though so struggling s bit at the moment. The twins are doing fantastic and will soon be 7 months old - I can't believe it! It's a brilliant age and it's such fun watching them learn to sit up, roll over, try to crawl, eat real food, etc. 🤣 Little photos attached ❤️

Other photo didn't attach!

Well we're getting down to the nitty gritty now and I'm having to proactively tell my oh when we are going dtd. But also don't want to pressurise the situation! Aargh.
So we dtd last night. Think I'll be ovulating tonight into tomorrow so 'requested' a session tomorrow evening too I think I'm going to have to just go for the every other day and hope for the best. Anyone else had success like that? X

@CritterTamer oh how lovely absolutely gorgeous! Yes it must be so much fun now at that age and time has definitely flown by! I struggled to stop breastfeeding especially when I went back to work with DS and it was around the same time 7 months. I just didn’t want to stop that closeness so it’s completely understandable.

@Catclock my pregnancy was an every other day dtd. In fact probably less we dtd three day me before the ovulation and on the day and it worked ! I’m 20 weeks now!

Reality - that sounds amazing. Really looking forward to feeling movements, although I have an anterior placenta so may be later. I have my 16 week midwife appointment tomorrow so will talk to her about my anxieties and hopefully hear heartbeat.

Critter - cute picture! It's hard giving up breastfeeding, I struggled at 18 months with my 2nd! It'll be hard whichever age you do it.

Catclock - we did eod too, worked for us. Good luck!

Thank you lovely people. On we go. Gotta keep trying.

@CritterTamer awwwww. Lush xx

Wow congrats on the scan @Realitysucks and love the twin photos, they're so cute! @CritterTamer

I had some weird results this week. The local Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic found that I have too many anticardiolipin antibodies, which means my blood clots too much and could well explain my 2 miscarriages this year. No one seems to know what causes this.
They want me to wait 3 months, NOT TTC, then test again, then would only treat me if it it's still there... however my private clinic have just said to TTC as normal. They would treat it with daily Heparin injections if I get a BFP.
So confusing!
Obviously I don't want to put things on hold for 3 months, I'm about to turn 41 this month... but I do feel guilty going against NHS advice. Not to mention that it feels a bit risky health wise!
What would you do...?

(Also, if anyone on here is having miscarriages I'd urge you to get these tests done.. only as it all takes so long. You're meant to have had 3 in a row to be referred but I did manage to get a referral after only 2, due to my age.)

Lovely babies @CritterTamer!

That's a tricky decision @NicLondon1. It's good they found something treatable I guess in a way. If you have a treatment plan for pregnancy with the private clinic, I'd just keep TTC if I were you and go ahead with that if you get pregnant. Although, I guess it depends really how likely the anticardiolipin antibodies are to go away after 3 months.

I've had 2 mc and now wondering if I should see my doctor. I do have a DC so was assuming the 2 MC were down to my age/bad luck (one was at 6 weeks and one MMC). I think I'll just get this cycle and Christmas out of the way then decide.