Over 40's TTC loads of baby dust to all... 5

[Chatbash72]

Hope this works as we lots the thread

I'm so sorry for your loss @Starlight39. I really hope you get referred to the recurrent miscarriage unit soon, at least you might get some answers.

Thank you both. Sorry - i feel like I’ve taken over the thread 🤦🏻‍♀️!

I’ve got all my fingers crossed we will have some positive thread news soon to balance things out .

Hi everyone, wondering if I can join in?

Basic short background, have a DD (6), widowed nearly 4 years ago, got together with my first love last year, discovered pregnant at 5 weeks, had mc a couple days later, approx 2 weeks ago, big shock for us both but a very happy one! I have pcos and had trouble conceiving DD but AF has been regular as clockwork since meeting my partner, oh and I'll be 42 in March!

Welcome gizmo. You sound like you have been through a alot of heartbreak and are now finding happiness. I wish you so much luck .

Starlight dont apologise, you have even through an awful time. How are you feeling ?

I wanted to give you ladies an update. I am 12 weeks pregnant and have just received really positive results for the harmony this evening. Risks were one in 10,000 so the best we could hope for! Its hern an agonising 10 day wait and I am so relieved . We are also having a baby boy , I am lucky enough to already have a dd and a ds so this is a blessing . I am 42, I am anxious , I have read so many awful statistics , so I guess it's to say (and I don't want to seem smug or trite or patronising ) and I say tentatively, that it is possible x

A huge congratulations to everyone who have concieved well done... just to ask what did u take to concieve? I am 43 years old have been told have got one follicle remaining and in perimenopause 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. I'm doing regular reflexology and taking folic acid.. any advice or suggestions will be more than appreciated xx

Welcome @gizmo167and I'm sorry for all you've been through. Fingers crossed for another BFP soon.

That's wonderful news @Realladymarmalade ! So happy for you!

When I watch a tv programme about someone I have a habit of reading about them on wikipedia. When I'm doing this it always makes me happy when I read of women in the past who had successful pregnancies in their 40s so I thought I'd mention that Marie Stopes (someone with really awful views about racial purity among other things when you look into her - but that's by the by) had a baby at 43, and (forgive such random facts!) Mary Arden (Shakespeare's mum) had her last child at about 43, (around 6 years after her previous child). There are others I could mention!

Obviously no fertility care was available then, and it wasn't out of the ordinary. It's nice to know it really isn't a crazy idea.

Welcome @gizmo167 and lots of luck to you!

Congratulations @Realladymarmalade, that's great news! Exciting to find out the sex so early too!

I'm feeling OK thanks - I'm at work (I just do 3 days a week) and it's quite busy which helps! The GP referred me for private miscarriage testing on Monday but, thanks to a very helpful secretary at the private hospital, it seems the NHS option will actually be quicker and looking at the two doctors, the NHS doctor is more specialised. So I've now gone back to my GP to ask that they refer me to the NHS.

Good luck @Hopefully123. I take proceive (from Boots 3 for 2), ubiquinol (300 mg), royal jelly and this omega 3: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07JPXYZX7/ref=pe_3187911_189395841_TE_dp_1?tag=mumsnetforu03-21.

It does help to know that others have pregnancies in their 40s @Springroll89. My grandmother had 9 kids, her last was at 43 and she only stopped then as the doctor told her another birth wouldn't be safe! My son's childminder had her third child at 44.

My mum had her last at 43 and my paternal grandmother had her last at 42. I think that's what made me a bit complacent and leave number 3 until my early 40s, but I don't seem to be as fertile as them!

Good luck with the miscarriage testing. It would be good to get some answers. I hope they don't make you wait too long.

Cd11 and flashing smiley for me today! Wish me luck, we're going in.. 😂🤞🤞😉

@Springroll89 don't forget Cherie Blair (47), liz Earle, (47)lousie delamere (47) and Rachel Weisz (48).... all positive news.
Welcome @gizmo167 and congratulations @Realladymarmalade.. @Hopefully123 I take pregnacare, omega 3,6,9, co enzyme q10 and just started taking Agnes castas which I'm not sure about as the packet says not to take if trying for a baby but the reading on it recommends .. good luck ladies 💕

You're right @Chatbash72 it's just that I love the examples from the past as you know for certain there's been no medical assistance!

DH and I had a Skype meeting with a naturopath fertility specialist last night. She teaches the Creighton method which is all about observing CM rather than taking temperature and offers support and guidance on lifestyle changes that can be made. I'm a bit torn between thinking this is the last chance so go with it, and thinking save your money and relax.

I asked her about alcohol and she couldn't give a definitive answer and did acknowledge that you have to balance moderate drinking and having a life with TTC. But she did say alcohol was bad for fertiliry. I was saying that it's hard to completely give up and miss social functions. Or not to drink at them (as everyone at my work for example would know I was an old crock trying to get pregnant - something I don't want them to know!)

She suggested avoiding alcohol in TWW - shame that always seems to be when I have nights out planned.

That last message made it sound like I'm a party animal! What I meant was that when I get a rare night meeting a friend for a bottle of wine, for some reason the only date we can do tends to be in the TWW.

Hi ladies, hope you are all well? It's been a while since I've checked in.

Today is my 43rd birthday and I am now 26 weeks pregnant. I genuinely did not see this coming after all the stresses and dramas over the last few years. Medical professionals would have said my time was up a long while ago. Don't give up girls.

Ooh @Cleozeta if I haven't said it before congratulations 💕💕

Good luck @claireb707!!

That sounds an interesting Skype @Springroll89. Did she mention any other lifestyle changes you should make? I agree the alcohol is a tricky one. I had maybe 1 or 2 glasses a week when TTC last time but if something came up, I did drink a bit more but didn't go too crazy.

Congratulations @Cleozeta!

Happy Birthday @Cleozeta 😊

Sorry I've been AWOL for a while. Really struggling at the moment.

I went to the Fertility Appointment last week and everything was "ok" Nothing really stands out with any of my test results and DH's sperm motility was a little lower than they'd like but they don't want to retest as it's still "ok".
They said the only concern is my weight and they want to see me again in 3mths and see how much weight I can lose. I feel like a failure. I'm not sure what the point of going back is if they're saying everything is ok, as what would they do anyway?!

Anyway....to make things about a billion times worse, DH's sister has just announced she's pregnant. I'm a horrible person and I'm ashamed to admit I'm absolutely devastated, I cried for 2hrs. DH is really gutted too.
She's 18yrs younger than DH and getting married in May, I'm her Bridesmaid. She's lovely and I'm happy for her but she'll have a huge bump now at the Wedding and it's understandably all anyone is going to be talking about in the family now.
His family are already hinting that we give all our baby stuff to her (from our 2yr old) as they don't know we've been trying. The thought of it actually breaks my heart but is that just selfish when we're probably not going to need it?

I don't know how I'm going to get through this.

So sorry @MaryShelley1818, that sounds so tough. Maybe just keep the appointment for 3 months time and see how you feel nearer the time? You might have new questions you'd like answering etc. Are you and your DH taking any supplements etc? You've probably mentioned before but I've forgotten!

And that's really hard about DH's sister. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow where the bride is pregnant so I understand. I think you just need to give yourself time really, try not to think about it all just yet when it's all so raw. I'd just be really vague about the baby stuff - just "oh, sorry, we've just given a lot away to a friend...". Also, maybe get your DH to handle it as much as he can and bow out of family things if you need to for a while. Just really be kind to yourself and look after yourself .

Thank you @Starlight39 you're very kind xx
Well I've started a low carb diet (Keto) so will see how I get on and if they can suggest anything at the next appointment but if there's technically nothing wrong and nothing they can do I just don't know whether I need to channel my energy into acceptance rather than TTC.

I think that's a good idea to say we've given some of it away or sold it. Maybe find a couple of bits I could give her to show willing. Luckily she doesn't live locally so I won't have to see her all the time.
I must admit that my feelings are complicated by the fact that she used to idolise DS when he was a baby, days out, sleepovers, just adored him and since she moved she's completely lost interest and the novelty has worn off. She doesn't bother with him at all, hasn't once came to see him in a year even though she drives past here to go home every few weeks. And it really hurts me that she's done this. I'm secretly worried he'll be pushed out even more when she has her baby, which will be awful as he's so close to his Grandparents.

Massive well done with the low carbing. I've read good things about keto and TTC so fingers crossed it helps!

That's good your SIL doesn't live too locally but really sad that she isn't showing your DS much interest anymore. That's really awful of her. Hopefully your DS's grandparents will be careful to make sure he still gets his share of attention.

I'd just try and focus on what you need to right now and try not to worry too much about the future (easier said than done I know!). It's a few months till May and you may feel in a different place by then anyway. That's what I'm trying to do at the moment anyway, focusing on the next couple of months and trying not to worry about aaaallll of the things at once!

Hello! Can I join you on your ttc journey?
I will be 42 in April, already have a DS 8 and a DD 5.
Had a surprise pregnancy which ended with a MMC just after my 40th birthday. Which left me a bit confused!!
Thought I had settled with just having the two children but having given it serious thought we have decided it's now or never!!!
Started pre-conceive vitamins, CQ10 and Omega 3 & have my OPK at the ready! Will try to follow the sperm meets egg plan so will aim to dtd on Mon!

That’s encouraging @Cleozeta. So glad for you. 44 in April myself and trying not to completely give up hope just now.

Also, I can highly recommend Keto. I’ve lost 32 pounds on it and rather quickly as well. Started it end of July and was down 30 by November.

I'm 44 in April too, 15th today exact xx

@Cleozeta happy belated birthday. Glad all is going well!

I'm also an April 🐣, 17th and will be 44!

My transfer is booked for Friday morning 🙏🏻🙏🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Thank you all for the very warm welcome and congratulations to those with BFP's and sending loads of sticky dust to those waiting, heres hoping there will be a flood of them!

Can I ask any who have had miscarriages, how was your first AF after and was there any delay? We havent stopped bd'ing since symptoms cleared after mmc, not sure what to call CD1, lost the baby on 25th Jan but most of bleeding wasnt until 28th?