Over 40's TTC loads of baby dust to all... 5

[Chatbash72]

Hope this works as we lots the thread

Just catching up with everyone, and so sorry to read your news @KediKat hope you feel better soon xx

Thank you to all you lovely ladies for your kind words and concern.
I went to the EPU on Monday and had a scan to be told there was nothing there. Bloods showed HCG 2 progesterone 0.08, so i have been discharged. When i asked why i keep having MC the reply i got from doctor half my age was 'it is your age and is normal to miscarry, IVF and/with donor eggs is the only way to conceive successfully'

Oh @KediKat what a completely insensitive cockwomble of a doctor 🤬
Hope you are ok love xx

@KediKat that doctor is really shameless ! You can mc at any age so that was very rude of him ! Do you have the possibility to see a fertility dr ?

@KediKat, I'm so sorry to hear about your MC. The doctor sounds completely insensitive and just plain wrong! There is never an age where miscarriage is 'normal'. I'm sorry you had to put up with that.

The doctor was female! With my two previous MC I saw a male and female doctor and both were empathetic and gave me more helpful advice. This time she was cold!
I will be making an appointment to see my GP and ask to be referred to the recurring MC clinic and fertility testing too. As I will be going abroad in March and thinking to go to a fertility clinic and get tests done as we have thought about IVF and I am 45 this summer, so like a chance.

@KediKat the doctor does sound rude. But I'm wondering whether the testing is futile. You know as we age, we have less and less viable eggs. So it is a case of keep trying and find the right eggs. Most miscarriages at our age will be chromosomal and that is the most likely case with you. Sorry, I don't want to be negative, but that is what I came to realise myself. Ive hopefully got a good egg this time, although I'm now very anxious as baby is measuring huge and I mean huge. I'm worried that it is some kind of chromosomal issue, being that my three losses were most likely chromosomal, I know one of them was for sure.
Maybe IVF with some kind of genetic testing for eggs would work as I think Ivf on its own may have the same result as trying naturally.

Sorry you've gone through this x

I'm not sure they use your own eggs after 43 due to low viability? I'm 44 in April and really hope I can have one last baby, its 50/50 to get caught, 50/50 miscarriage rate. I've not had a MC but I'm preparing myself that it could be a possibility if I do get pregnant xx

@KediKat - so sorry the doctor was so cold. It only takes one decent egg - it might take a while to find the right one as we get older but to say your only hope is IVF and donor egg is ridiculous. She could say your best hope but it's absolutely not your only hope. Testing for recurrant miscarriage sounds a good plan. It could be something like a clotting issue so you need blood thinners if you get pregnant. Also, thyroid issues I think can cause MC. It's worth ruling everything out anyway. Thinking of you

@KediKat So so sorry to hear about your loss, sending hugs xxx
And yes, I agree that the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic is the way to go - as Starlight says above, I was found to have clotting issues AND thyroid antibodies, and am now taking blood thinners & steroids (and so far so good). So please take heart that there is likely to be a cause ,a reason, and it can be treated next time.
If you can afford a private clinic, I'd advise that too as they can get things done much faster (Mine worked in conjunction with the NHS RMC who did all the testing). Just go for it on all fronts! xxx

www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2020/01/31/8000-miscarriages-could-prevented-year-200-treatment/
Don't suppose those of us over 40 would even have the option of this on the NHS but it's worth considering adding to the list of other supplements xx

That's really interesting @Chatbash72.

I had a private scan this morning which showed no heartbeat and baby measured 7+3 (I'm 9+5). So now I have to go back to the EPU tomorrow. I'm hoping if I go the minor surgery route they might be able to test the baby for genetic issues. It's frustrating as I spoke to the midwife about a number of issues a week ago (some bleeding, hardly any pregnancy symptoms, a bit of cramping) and she said the EPU wouldn't even entertain seeing me for those reasons. I don't mind paying for scans and I know the NHS is cash strapped, it's just the difficulty of working out the next step from the private scan place and the extra waiting. I also wonder if EPU might have picked up a slow heartbeat or another issue at my first scan (6+5). Anyway, I guess there's no point worrying about that now. At least i know I do know my body as I knew something was wrong last time round too as my morning sickness suddenly massively reduced.

Anyway, sorry for a sad update! Hope you are all OK. I'm not giving up yet so I'll be back with you all in a while.

@Starlight39 that's awful news. I'm so terribly sorry, absolutely heartbroken for you.

I've got my appointment at the Fertility Consultant in the morning but will be thinking of you xx

@Starlight39 I'm sorry to read about your sad news. Sending you a virtual handhold. Testing sounds like a good idea, then you'll have an idea what the issue is.

Starlight I don't know what to say, I am devastated for you. We would have been around the same EDD so you have been in my thoughts too. Hugs xxx

Thanks, everyone.

I've decided to do the suppositories again at the weekend (DS is with his Dad so DP and I can just watch a load of TV which we did last time). I asked about doing the local anaesthetic and vacuum option if they could then test the baby to see if they could work out what went wrong but the nurse looked at me like I was crazy and said no testing is available. I'm sure I've heard of other people having a genetic test. They also wouldn't give me the suppositories to take away (which they did last time) so I have to go in again on Saturday morning (a 50 minute drive each way!). It all felt a bit easier this time as I already had the info so didn't need to go over everything so much.

I can ring EPU 2 weeks after I get a negative pregnancy test and get the recurrant miscarriage testing started. They said it takes 8-9 weeks for the results to come back (and they need bloods taken at different times over a month so that'll add on another month) so I will probably find out about private testing too. The majority seem to be in London though and I'm a couple of hours away so ideally would find somewhere nearer! I also don't know whether to just keep trying or hold off until the testing is done.

My boss is away this week so I haven't told him and I'm just working at home the rest of today. DP and I have a wedding to go to in 2 weeks (his friend, I've briefly met the groom). The bride is around 20 weeks pregnant after lots of miscarriages and although I'm obviously really happy for them and glad it's all working out, I'm not sure how I'll find the day. I guess I just have to see how I feel at the time. Sorry, this is so long!

Hope your appointment this morning goes well @MaryShelley1818.

@starlight39 I'm so sorry sending big hugs and you too @KediKat big hugs.. 💕💕💕💕
Think af is looming but we are still trying but with everything else it's not front of our minds.. we tend to just dtd regular through the month.. so 🤞

Milli jololvich ( think that's spelling ) has just given birth at 44... keep the hope and faith ladies 💕💕💕

I'm so sorry @Starlight39 what a horrible thing to have to go through x

@Starlight39 Oh no, I am so so sorry. Heartbreaking news.

Re: your queries about EPU, I am sure you absolutely can go to EPU with bleeding and cramping. But for what it's worth, even if they spotted a problem earlier, they couldn't have done anything about it....

Re: the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic, mine did say to keep any large clots for testing - bit that was when already being "in their care". They wouldn't do my blood tests until 6 weeks after my last miscarriage. It felt like an age.

But just focus on getting through it for now, look after yourself and get lots of rest. So sorry again. Sending hugs xxx

Good luck @Chatbash72, hope AF doesn't turn up. That's good to know about Milla Jovovich!

Thank you @NicLondon1. I rang the EPU but around here, they won't see you unless referred by a doctor or midwife and the midwife said they wouldn't see me based on my symptoms. But yes, it wouldn't have changed the outcome - it's just more stressful finding out at the private scan then having to be referred for an EPU appointment the next day. Hopefully next time I'll get more scans anyway but I think would try and see the doctor rather than midwife if I had any issues.

@Starlight I feel really sorry for your MC and for what you have to go through in addition as if the MC itself was not enough ! You are incredibly brave !

@Starlight39 so sorry to read your update. Look after yourself

Thank you both . I was going to go to the doctor today to ask about the recurrant miscarriage testing but have decided it'll be easier to do it on Monday instead.

How is everyone else doing?

Just catching up again with everything @Starlight39 that is really awful to read. I'm sorry for you.
I will try to keep positive for everyone. It does seem hopeless and panicky sometimes, but that is good news to read about 'Milla' xx