AF arrived on cycle 11. Losing hope.

[bluevelvet1]

Af has just arrived on my 11th cycle. Feeling pretty numb. We have been trying since January with not one sniff of a positive test. I have a 28 day cycle, ovulate every month and keep to a healthy weight and diet. We have also conceived before, quickly. I’ve made an appointment at a fertility clinic, but feeling so down about it all. Does anyone have any success stories of conceiving after 1 year or any advice? Thank you for reading and sorry for rant.

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Hi @bluevelvet1 I didn't want to read and not reply, I haven't got a success story to share unfortunately as only been trying for 6 months. I completely understand how your feeling, I feel like I spend the 2 weeks leading up to ovulation being positive and hopefully and the tww slowly in a dwindling state of mental torture only for AF to turn up. You said you ovulate every month so I assume you've been temping to check that, have you considered your partner taking some conception vitamins if he isn't already. I've read about people trying alternative therapies and then getting there BFP's, rathsr than go to a fertility clinic privately would you see your GP and get referred for tests. I hope some of that helps even if just a tiny bit, didn't want to read and run. Be kind to yourself xx

Thank you @MrsN2121 for leaving a lovely message. I’ve been feeling quite redundant the last few cycles, but yes as you say the two week wait just makes me depressed! Oli have never temped but I use ovulation strips and I get ovulation pain every month (although I guess that’s not a certain!). Hubby is on vitamins and trying to keep a healthier diet (although the time we conceived before he smoked 20 a day and we partied lots!). I have been to my local doctors but we live quite remote so I everything is quite slow and it’s always a different doctor, hence the reason for going private. I have taken up yoga and love it. Have you tried any different methods? Are you ttc no1? Good luck, and thank you again for leaving a message. X

Same here @bluevelvet1 😔 ttc second since Feb, due on yesterday, took test earlier bfn. We conceived DS first try. I’ve had bloods and all came back okay. Have referral for scan, but been waiting 6 weeks for letter!
Gone through upset, frustration, anger, confusion, let down, and now I just feel like I can’t be arsed with this anymore.
I’ve used OPKs, tried SMEP, no caffeine etc etc but I’m 38 see and DH is in late 40s.

@bluevelvet1 your use of the word redundant really sums it up perfectly! That's exactly how I feel. I'm 34, ttc number 1 and only 6 months in, I know people try for a lot longer than that but still feels like a long time when your going through it. Could you possibly asked to be referred to a fertility clinic/hospital in a bigger nearby town? Completely understand you wanting to go private though.
I've done my BBT, if it is something you decide to try I'd recommend getting a thermometer that links to your phone via Bluetooth, it's a pain putting the info in when your half asleep!
I was taking pregnacare but have this month swapped over to just folic acid and vitamin d, husband is now on vitamins, I've lost a stone & 1/2 and starting reflexology next week. I find having a bit of a plan or something different to try each month helps me have a focus.
The thought of doing this for months/years scares me so much but I have to keep going, can't give up.
I hope your feeling a bit better and you can get a plan in place for seeing the fertility clinic. X

Hi @bluevelvet1, we started TTC at the same time as you did, but due to my long cycles I'm only at the end of cycle 9. Finally got the doctor to do a CD21 test this period as my BBT shows I'm not ovulating (on CD26 as I'm usually 33 days) and now my period has buggered off entirely. It's so frustrating, so what little progress I thought I made getting the test has been for nothing as they now want to test again next cycle (whenever that is!)
Good luck, take a few days to feel sad then baby dust for next cycle x

I started ttc in September 2018. I've had 3 chemical pregnancies and AF arrived today. Feel miserable. I have always conceived easily before. I feel redundant too. And time is running out for me. I'm 41 and it's going to be too late soon.

TTC since March - #1, never conceived before. Also feel rather hopeless. I’m 30 and DH 33, OPKs suggest I’m ovulating but haven’t this month I think . Entirely with you on feeling hopeless. Taking vitamins and have regular (if long-ish at 35 days) cycles. Feel like I’m just killing the next 3 months before the GP will look into anything. Everyone pregnant around me. It’s total shit

@bluevelvet1 no success story or advice, just want you to know you are not alone. Im in the same boat, started TTC end of December last year and no sniff of a BFP.

Added pressure of my DH's family constantly asking us when we're going to have a baby and have we thought about children? 😞

@MrsN2121 Thank you for the recommendation, I’ll look into a thermometer. Yeah, I suppose I could ask to be referred - we have a big trip booked to New Zealand next week so I’m going to take November off and then hopefully get the ball rolling with checks in December. Well done on losing 1 1/2 stone, that’s amazing! I’m on folic acid, vit d and vit c and hubby on wellman vitimins. Hope you get happy news soon! X

Hi @PlanBea Sorry you are not having an easy journey too. Do you have irregular cycles or anything else that indicates you don’t always ovulate? I hope your next cycle comes round fast. Take care x

@Whyhaveidonethis I’m so sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancies, how horrible. I came off the pill September 2018 but used protection until January as we wanted a autumn baby 🤦‍♀️ (feel very dumb now!!) Have you gone to your gp? I hope you get happy news soon. X

@Dollywilde It’s horrible just waiting for your period, I feel no positivity anymore. I’m exactly the same all my friends are pregnant with their second at the snap of their fingers. I’m 27 and hubby 34. X

@Mimi91 We are at the exact same stage, I’m dreading Christmas now. Have you gone to your go yet? Yeah, my family are dropping hints here and there and desperate for a baby. It’s lovely and I know it’s not there fault as I haven’t told anyone that we are struggling, I think I will it we don’t get happy news by January. Do you have regular cycles? Are you trying any different methods? Good luck and take care. X

@bluevelvet1 have the most amazing trip, try not to think about ttc too much (easier said than done!) and same to you, hope you get good news soon

@bluevelvet1 @PlanBea same here. Came off the pill in January but due to long cycles I'm only on cycle 6. Took 74 days for my first period. Average 38 days now. I have been using OPK and have got positives then af around 12 dpo. 13dpo today but backache has been AWFUL last night and this morning. 😒

@bluevelvet1 haven't gone to the GP yet, I'm currently in the TWW, if we have no luck this cycle we're going to make an appt.

I've tried lots of different things, not tracking, using OPKs, tracking my temperature, various apps and vitamins, pre-seed etc. We're going for a more relaxed approach now, just taking vitamins and logging when my AF is. My cycles vary from 28-35 days which is annoying 😖 every time I think I'm late, I take a test which is always negative and then AF will show up later that day!

Good luck at the fertility clinic - hope you get your BFP soon!

@bluevelvet1 it sounds like you are doing everything right. I’m on cycle 7 and really hoped that I wouldn’t be in this position but I am taking hope from a really good friend who tried for 2years and was under a fertility clinic with unexplained infertility and then got pregnant naturally. She’s 35+ weeks pregnant now and it’s definitely not been an easy ride but if you can keep trying and stay healthy then hopefully things will work out in the end for all of us. The stats do suggest 80% of us will be pregnant by the end of the year. So hopefully next cycle will be yours. FX for you and all the other ladies on this thread. Xx

@bluevelvet1 thanks. I've been temping with a Daysy fertility monitor and tracking CM but haven't had any ovulation indicators yet. Been DTD 3-4 times a week just in case! I'm at the GP on Monday so we'll see what he says, my GP is great so hopefully I will have some news before then.

@Mycrazylife85 38 is quite long, are they generally coming down from the 74? I think a few wonky ones post BC are normal. Fingers crossed AF comes soon so you aren't in such pain any more!

@PlanBea they were coming down. I came off the pill in January. It was 74 days, 56 days, 40, 40, 38 and now 39plus... positive OPK day 24... I had a doctors appointment (as I have long but light periods and last time 5 days of spotting old blood before my 6day period) but it was cancelled. Next appointment scheduled is 11th November..

@Macbless Yeah, I think I’m doing everything right, I just can’t get my head around the fact it’s not working 😂 That’s a lovely story, your friend must have been delighted. I hope you get happy news soon. X

@PlanBea Good luck at the doctors, that’s great you have a good GP. Ours is always a different locum so I don’t feel fully comfortable or that they have much interest or passion at that! X

@bluevelvet1 af started yesterday, two days late, she loves to keep us on our toes doesn’t she. Here we go again....

Didn't want to read and run but I do have a positive story linked to yours.

Started ttc no.1 in January 2017. I stressed myself out every month, taking ovulation tests, waiting for AF to arrive, the lot. After 12 months went to the gp because it was really getting me down. They referred me to fertility clinic and I had all the blood tests going (normal), an ultrasound (normal) and hysterosalpingography (hsg - normal). All these tests took time and weren't completed until December 2018. The only results left to come back were my DP's.
January 2019 came along and I gave up. I had an appointment booked for June 2019 to get the results and discuss the next step - it really is a long waiting process. By Feb 2019 I stopped taking ovulation test and pregnancy test as they were making me ill through the stress. May 2019 got a BFP, I'm currently 27+4 with my first, a little boy.

I have no advice really because I didn't listen to any, except stop beating yourself up and stressing yourself out about it. I truly believe that because I wasn't timing everything to the day and putting pressure on both of us to 'perform', this is how we got pregnant! Give it to the 12 months then visit your gp and Express your concerns. I have everything crossed for you and I hope your wait isn't as long as mine! Xx

@VenusTiger good luck for the new month!

@bluevelvet1 @Mycrazylife85 any sign of AF today ladies? I've had what felt like menstrual cramps all day but nothing happening! I just want a new month to start now so I can have another go.

@bluevelvet1 no success story here but wanted you to know that your not alone and I know how you are feeling. We are just starting our 11th cycle ttc#1, been to the GP and had bloods confirming ovulation and also hubby had SA which also came back normal which is reassuring but also makes me wonder why it hasn’t happened yet. GP advised us to go back in the new year if we haven’t fallen pregnant and they will refer us. I’m going to try reflexology this month, if anything hopefully it will help me relax. Fingers crossed for you this month x

@PlanBea nothing for me. 15dpo for me tomorrow. Bloated and sore mid lower stomach today. It's like pressure low down. It's been pretty rubbish and I'm dreading sleep tonight. I suffer with IBS too so I know I'm in for a rough one. Ordered some other tests to have in. IC's and a few FRER. Have used Wilkinson's ones but thought it doesn't hurt to have some in. How are you doing?

@Lxx16 Congratulations on your pregnancy 🥰 How special.
I’m trying to feel more relaxed (which is hard), I Keep passing dates where I thought I’d have a baby or be pregnant.
We have decided to book tests in at a private fertility clinic, we live very remote so to be able to do the tests we would have to travel for a day for each test, where if we go private we can get most done in one day.
Wishing you a safe and healthy birth in a few months and thank you for you story, it certainly cheered me up. X

Hi @PlanBea Yeah, my period arrived on Friday and it was a sore one! Should be gone by tomorrow and then I can relax and start to not feel so down. Has yours arrived yet?

Hi @Flamingodob sorry to hear you are in the same position, but good for you for already getting tested! That’s good news that they came back positive (albeit frustrating when it’s not working!) Fingers crosses for this cycle or the next and you don’t have to make that appointment. X

@bluevelvet1 I hope this cycle brings you some good news. Fingers crossed for you.

@Mycrazylife85 uurgh sorry to hear you're having a bad time. Stocking up on tests sounds like a good idea. I did a FRER last night in prep for the GP today and still BFN

I'm on CD43 today with still nothing. GP won't intervene, basically I need to wait this out then book in for a CD21 test when I get AF. Referrals here are after 2 failed CD21, an STD swab, and 12 months of trying. I've had the swab today, so once the next CD21 happens I will pretty much be ready to be referred at least