A whole load of “up yours” to ttc

[Chefwifelife]

I saw a post like this on a non conception board and thought it was quite funny and cathartic so I thought I’d start one.

I’ve got a whole bag of “up yours” to the trying to conceive process. Who wants one?! I’ll start.

Up yours to 10 months of ttc #2 and everyone telling me it’s quicker the second time around as your body knows what to do.

Up yours to indent lines on one step tests and frer’s

Up yours to people telling me to “relax and it will happen”.

Up yours to the age gap which is quickly getting bigger and bigger between DS1 and potential DC2.

That’s me done.

@Chefwifelife thanks. I think I just needed to get it all out. I went for a long dog walk to clear my head and I feel a lot better now! xx

Ohh @zoomies1 , big hugs, sounds like a proper crap day.

Up yours to my BFN this morning 😞

Reading some of the heart breaking messages on here has put my own problems into perspective. Sending support to everyone brave enough to post.

Thought I'd add my two pennies in:

Up yours to all of the conversations had before marriage where I thought we were on the same plan only to find that DH got cold feet when I thought we were ready.

Up yours to waiting 18 months for DH to feel more ready (because I get it and it needs to be right for both of us) despite wanting to say - you have 9 months to get prepared!

Up yours to the crazy periods (consistently 6 weeks of non-stop heavy bleeding) that occurred just as we decided to start trying, leaving me drained and terrified something was wrong.

Up yours to the 18 week long waiting list to see a consultant (making it 12 months from first raising the issue at the GPs)

And up yours to the big ass fibroid that was blocking everything up that people kept telling me "was normal" (until the surgeon saw it!).

And up yours to the general anaethestic and blood loss that completely knocked me flat.

2 years on and out the other side now, praying that things go a little more smoothly now. Hubbys on-side so at least I feel like I got my partner in crime back.

Hoping everyone else's journey goes a bit smoother for them too xx

I love this thread ❤️

Up yours to people asking when are you having children, your getting on, don’t leave it to late, you never know how hard it is until you try..... just shut the f*k up!!!!!

Up yours to everyone’s huge bump being paraded in my face every time I turn a flipping corner (sorry for this)

Up yours to pretending to be interested when people talk about how their pregnancy is developing when all I want is one of my own.

Up yours to 14 months of ttc 1 blocked Fallopian tube and yet another wait to look ‘closer at it!

Up yours to constantly thinking that I’m to blame because I deserve this unhappiness for some reason.

Up yours to anxiety which has now turned into depression because all I can think about is that bfp.

Up yours to the arseholes at work that just think about themselves.

Up yours for also permanently stressing about work.... when deep down it really doesn’t matter!

Up yours to scheduled sex and making me feel like some sort of baby machine instead of a human being.

Up hours to the pressure ttc has put on my relationship.

Up yours to finally having to tell people that you are ttc and failing because you can no longer control sadness.

Up fg yours to Afs and BFN!!!!

I love the honestly on this thread!
Massive up yours to the TWW and already starting to symptom spot even though I know it's useless. And wishing the time away until our next chance to try instead of just enjoying life.

*honesty not honestly!

Up yours to spending £75 on OvuSense last month and £66 on ‘better’ supplements for me a DH earlier on in the week
Up yours on spending probably in the region of £200 pissing on things since January
TTC is expensive 😂

Up yours to endometriosis. I found out today that my friend is unlikely to be able to conceive due to that bitch of a condition!

Ladies this thread is going strong. Let's keep those super charged up yours to ttc coming !

Just wanted to say on World Mental Health Day, I think this thread is a really great way of offloading and feeling less alone. So thank you OP and everyone else who has shared their stories.

Up yours to DH paying £400 for two private consultations with 'specialists' this week, and neither of them having a clue how to resolve his infertility problems.

Up yours to a well-meaning friend half-jokingly offering to be a surrogate. Yes, I've had 3MCs but the implication was that she's great at having babies (2 uncomplicated pregnancies) and that I'm not. 👍🏻 We're nowhere near the stage of needing a surrogate (plus it's not something I'd ever do) so it was insensitive at best, insulting at worst.

Up yours to the realisation that I would have been 12 weeks today if I hadn't lost the last baby.

Up yours to the many pregnancies of friends/friends of friends that I keep learning of every day. Two today!

@waitingforarainbow hugs for you and a huge up yours to your fucktard friend for offering to surrogate. Some people are just clueless.

Up yours to OH getting ‘stage fright’ right when I’m at peak fertility and not being able to DTD (well finish it). I realise it’s stressful for him the pressure to perform and all that as we both want kids so much but I’d really tried to be relaxed this month not using OPKs and not telling him when I’m at my peak but he seems to be able to work it out anyway. I’ve just got to be super nice to him about it and pretend I don’t mind as otherwise he’ll get more stressed but really I just want to cry.

Also up yours to really awful nausea during ovulation. Every time I’m hoping it’s actually morning sickness and my last period wasn’t really a proper one but really I know I’m being completely stupid and there’s no way it’s that.

Just want to give everyone on this thread a massive hug! Really good to have the space to let it all out even though some of these posts from others break my heart.

Thank you @Chefwifelife - I truly think she meant well but it did upset me.

@Banoffeepie91 I know exactly how you feel - my DH has the same issue and it's so, so hard to deal with. Getting angry/upset with him just makes the problem worse, but it's so hard not to as it's so frustrating. I've seen a few other people with the same issue on this thread and it's made me feel so much better.

@Banoffeepie91 that was like reading my own thread I am with you on every one of those up yours.

Lots of love to you all 💜💜

❤️

Up yours to my husband’s SSRIs which I’m sure have impacted fertility and the doctor who never even flagged there are concerns

Up yours to medical management of a miscarriage and being bent double in the shower with contractions whilst having to answer work emails (conceived the moment OHs SSRIs were out of his system I might add)

Up yours to Facebook and Instagram and other peoples incessant social media pregnancy announcements. Cue floods of tears

Up yours to awful, depressing scheduled sex

Up yours to not booking holidays

Up yours to not looking for new jobs

Up yours to the taxi driver who told me I ‘better get a move on’ now my son is almost 3

Up yours to me, 3 and a half years ago, telling everyone what a breeze it was getting pregnant first time round and how I wish we’d left it till later as I soooo wasn’t prepared (age 33)

Amazing how a thread of negativity can be so positive! Knowing you're not alone is so beneficial. Thanks to everyone that's shared here. Another one from me -

Up yours to sharing what I'm going through meaning my lovely friend couldn't share the wonderful news that's she's going to be a granny without worrying about how I'd feel ☹️

@waitingforarainbow You are a saint for not telling her 'up yours' to her face! I don't know why people don't realise that's the kind of thing you wait to be asked.

Up yours to feeling guilty for drinking coffee/wine etc, and wondering whether that one glass was the reason for the bfn.

Up yours to not being able to book proper holidays. Think it's been said but needs repeating!

Up yours to my irregular ovulation dates, just pick a day ffs!

Up yours to DH being an absolute bellend on my day of ov and the ttc madness that wants me to dtd regardless, despite not wanting to talk to him for the rest of the day!

Up yours to my other half being away on exercise during most of the fertile week and it being extended so he won't be here for Ov 🤬

I’m joining...

Up yours to ttc for 18 months
Up yours to blaming my age (37) and my declining egg quality (because all tests for me dh have come back as normal and done) yet 2 close friends my age and older have announced they’re pg without even having been trying.
Up yours to having to drink proceive max which now turns my stomach.
Up yours to remembering to bbt every day.
Up yours to having to be the only one who remembers for us both to take ubiquinol daily.
Up yours to not being able to book a (delayed) honeymoon in May next year in case I can’t fly and everybody asking why.
Up yours to everybody asking if we want a baby or are we going to try.
Up yours to the guilt of having 2dds with exh who keep asking for a sibling.
Up yours to everybody who tells me (rightly) what an amazing stepdad dh is and how he was made to have children.
Up yours to the guilt dd1 made me feel by saying the one thing she would change about me would be for mummy to want another baby.
Up yours to still getting my hopes up every month and the disappointment that follows.
Up yours to the some months I want to cry when af arrives but having to suck it up because dh has said he doesn’t want us to ttc if it makes me upset and causes any negativity and pressure between us (because our relationship is too important to him to have anything come between us).
Up yours to getting a positive opk first thing this am and oh being too hungover to dtd then and not in the mood this afternoon.
Up yours to me having a paddy and cry in frustration because of the previous up yours and dh saying we should then stop because he doesn’t want ttc to be like that and we should draw a line under it then.

Up yours to all of the DPs/DHs on this thread who just don’t seem to get why TTC is so horrendous for us.

Up yours to DH ‘sorting himself out’ the morning of my OPK+ The cycle after my EMC. It was the first time I had even vaguely felt positive enough to DTD and he dashed any hope of that. I felt so unsexy and broken that day and DH just didn’t seem to get it.

Can I please add another one to do with DH, up yours to being really horny throughout my non-fertile days and then having completely no desire on my fertile days because ‘we shouldn’t do it on a clock, we should just do it when we feel like it’ but that’s ALWAYS the non fertile days! And he says it’s because I ‘put pressure on’...I’m trying so hard to ‘be casual’ but I’m not feeling particularly casual after getting my period for the 15th month in a row

It's a bit slow on here of late. I'm sure there's lots of you just waiting to throw some up yours to ttc out there!

@Chefwifelife I'll throw in another to bring this back to life.

Up yours to feeling so conflicted - found a private consultant who is actually listening to me which is BRILLIANT but now spending my time worrying about tests and what they might say. Oh crap - maybe I actually went through menopause early and didn't realise because I was on the coil (is that possible??)

Up yours to worrying that DH will regret marrying me because he chose the only person he knows who can't get pregnant.

One more -

Up yours to finally trying to talk about it and having DH say 'oh well, better to not dwell on it.......' and then change the subject.