TTC after pregnancy loss thread 31 - baby penguins are coming!

[strawberrye]

🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone TTC after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through he rollercoaster of TTC and get our baby penguins xx

@VenusStarr thank you! I'm sitting behind my desk which is restful in itself. Listening to Russian politics, and there's plenty of that drama and a great distraction for me. Also, worked out my plan B in my head and waiting to speak to my fertility doc on Monday. I'm not quitting. Will only quit when I have my rainbow in my arms. We decided not to tell anyone about MC IRL, family and friends. Don't want any sympathy from anyone. I shared with you ladies and that's more important as you understand.

Hi ladies, just managed to catch up with the thread since my mumsnet break. Sorry to see some new faces, but welcome, this is a wonderful supportive group. I'm really devastated to read about those of you who have had a further loss since I was last on here @FirstTimeMama91 @Russkispy @ReeReeR @Rumi1 sending lots of love.

Congratulations to those who have got BFPs @Ginmonkey84 @DuvetCaterpillar @Pinkoi @Navy123 @Pop1234 @avocuddles - plus the ladies I've seen over on the grad thread. Congratulations also @TinyPaws, really hoping the bleed was implantation. Hoping these pregnancies are sticky and result in your beautiful rainbows.

@Lilimum7 sorry to hear about your Lyme's diagnosis and that you felt the RMC wasn't too helpful. I am keeping everything crossed your double rainbow picture is a sign for you this month!

As for me, I have had a lovely holiday in California with DH. Before we went on holiday and shortly after I left mumsnet I got a BFP. I won't chat about details as having been a feature on this thread for over 18 months I know how difficult it can be to read when there has been a flurry of BFPs. For those who would like to know details I have posted on the grads thread. Trying to keep a positive attitude as I figure worrying isn't going to change the outcome of this pregnancy. I will keep popping back to see how everyone is doing if that's ok but I won't post anything pregnancy related unless asked.

Good to see you’re back @strawberrye and congrats on your BFP!

Hope you’re ok @Russkispy I admire your positivity

Can I ask those of you who have had v early MCs did you wait for af to try again? I was only 4.5 weeks and have basically had what seems to be a period - spotting on Tuesday, heavy af like bleeding on Wednesday then much lighter to almost nothing yesterday. Internet says to wait two weeks to avoid infection but gp had said it’s so early it is like a late af so can treat it as such. Just wondering what your experiences have been? I will see how it goes but plan to OPK this month and go by that...

@ReeReeR we haven't waited a full cycle for AF after the miscarriage bleed, only waited for the bleeding to completely settle. So as long as your bleeding and cramps have stopped and you feel emotionally ready I think you should be fine to try again

Thanks @strawberrye

I read your update on the graduate thread. Really pleased for you and wish you a healthy and successful pregnancy

Physically I feel normal tbh. I’m still emotional as it was 6 months yesterday since our daughter died and I’m probably hormonal but many of you will understand the desire to continue TTC. I cannot have my daughter back but I remind myself I have no reason to believe I will not have a healthy baby one day.

Hope everyone else is ok and having a relaxing weekend where possible x

@ReeReeR I was 7 weeks but didn't wait for AF as my cycles were so long and irregular beforehand I didn't think it would benefit me from a dating perspective. I was just advised to make sure I'd had a negative pregnancy test first - once you've had one then you should be good to go. Good luck xx

@ReeReeR thank you. Being emotional sounds completely understandable and normal given you have lost your daughter, and milestones like 6 months is bound to make everything feel even more raw. Thinking of you and I'm sure you'll get your next baby one day, I hope it's one day soon

@Avocuddles Thanks, almost forgot about pregnancy test! Plan to do that on Tuesday. Re dating I plan to OPK so even if my cycle is even less regular now (cycle is usually 26-34 days but was a regular 32 days before first pregnancy) I should have an idea for dating although I know they use LMP.

Thanks @strawberrye 💕

Hope you are ok @Russkispy

Thread seems quiet - hope that means everyone is happy!

@ReeReeR with my last early MC (5+3) I waited for the bleeding to stop, then I tested every morning until I got BFN (took five days from 1st day of MC) and then because I didn't know what to expect from my cycle, I started with my cheapy OPKs twice daily as soon as I got BFN - I ovulated about three weeks after MC and conceived without having a period in between. Fingers crossed that your cycles return to normal very quickly xx

Thanks @Frillyfarmer I am hoping this will just be like a slightly late af and won’t mess everything up too much but we shall see. Cheap OPKs is not a bad idea.

I am disappointed this wasn’t to be my rainbow but it is amazing how quickly the mind adjusts to simply looking ahead to the next fertile window!

That's a good line at 9dpo @Avocuddles, hope it's a sticky one! Fingers crossed for you.

Still confused here, bleeding has stopped again (so one day light bleeding/half a day brownish spotting) but test so faint now it's basically a bfn. I suspect failed implantation and will expect AF to
arrive in a couple of days although I'll test again if not. At least it heralds a slightly shorter post-mc cycle than anticipated.

@ReeReeR as above - we didn't wait after mc, but only tested to negative on a cheapie which in retrospect was somewhat foolish! I hope you can start trying again soon xx

@Noisysparrows I hope you get some answers as to what is going on soon so you are not in limbo. Do you think I should test on a a frer because that’s what I got my positive on? I was thinking of just using cheapie supermarket tests I have at home (I have 2) as if I’m still pregnant now, two weeks on from my first BFP, it would be positive by now? 🤔

@ReeReeR if you're going straight into TTC again I'd probably double check with a frer, so that you don't end up how I am, wondering if it's a CP or leftover hcg from miscarriage when you test on a frer again in future! Although obviously hopefully next time you'll have a lovely sticky bean and the lines will keep getting stronger and pick up on a normal test so you don't have this conundrum!

@Noisysparrows I think that’s sensible. Thanks for the advice. Keep us updated x

Been to EPU earlier and it looks like I passed the sac and the rest on Friday night as it wasn’t present on the scan. Still got blood clots but will pass soon, was told. To rescan in 10 days. No tummy cramps but just pain in my lower back and still bleeding. Oh well. Upwards and onwards and towards donor egg cycle. Not quitting just yet!

@Russkispy glad that EPU saw you and that it sounds like you are through the worst. I think that the only way you can look at this point is forward.

@ReeReeR hope that you are doing ok. I also would recommend checking on an FRER so you are comparing like for like. I generally ovulated about a week late after a miscarriage if I counted first day of bleeding as CD1. Hope you have had a good weekend and have made some time for things you want to do. It is so unfair having to cope with the anniversary loss of your daughter and this.

I am currently packing up what feels the entire house for 5 days at centre parcs with DH and DSS. I will love it once we are there but right now I am totally over it 😬🔫

Good on you for staying positive @Russkispy

Thanks @fnej01 I’m ok. I’m feeling a bit down but think it’s partly hormonal. That’s interesting to know. I will get a FRER and then also start OPKing after I get a negative. Just really not sure what to expect but think as it’s so early everything might be normal 🤷🏻‍♀️ We’ll see!

I hope you have a nice time at Center Parcs! 😬😬

Hey ladies sorry I've been quiet not feeling positive at the moment. Though af had started this morning which would've been cd 25 and a 9 day luteal phase so not quite normal for me. But it's not behaving like typical af as yet.

Feeling disheartened and finding this all so hard since the mc. If this is af then we are into cycle 10.

Glad you're ok @Russkispy and that you've been seen by the EPU. I felt better for having been seen by them. Hopefully your symptoms won't last much longer.

@ReeReeR hopefully things will get back to normal quickly. Opks after you've had a negative are a good idea. Hope you don't have to wait to long for O x

@fnej01 enjoy Center Parcs! x

Evening all

Feeling like shit this evening as spent an emotionally difficult day watching DS play with his cousins (who are less than a year apart) and I'm realising it's not long until 2 years of TTC #2 for us. Still no date set for the consultants either as they're having to undergo a full investigation regarding DS2's death.

It's crazy how much is required for a short trip when a child is involved isn't it fnej01 ! Have fun away.

I also ovulate a week late post MC ReeReeR but weirdly never actually got a true negative using FRERs till past ovulation! So bit weird (I know I ovulated as I was temping and fell pregnant with dates matching).

Sorry hear it looks like cycle 10 for you MrsH497 and sorry you're not doing great. It's bloody draining TTC

Well, AF arrived so I'm out for this cycle with possible CP. My mood has absolutely plummeted, I know a lot of this is undoubtedly hormonal as I do suffer badly with PMS but I think I felt more hopeful than I realised that it would happen again quickly. Hey ho, onwards and upwards.

@TwittleBee so sorry you had a tough day, sending love.

@fnej01 have a great time at CenterParcs - nearly there!

@Russkispy I'm glad the worst is over physically. FWIW I've donated eggs in the past, so though I don't know about things from the recipient point of view am happy to chat about the donor bit if you'd like x

@MrsH497 I'm sorry this cycle seems to be a no go for you and that you've had such a long run since the MC. Are you under the fc at all? Sorry, I don't know your story x

@Noisysparrows no we've "only" been trying 9/10 months. Had a MC middle of May and just don't feel positive. I was so excited when I got my bfp and have been completely heartbroken since. Each cycle I think maybe this is it

Thanks @Avocuddles

Sorry you are feeling low @TwittleBee @MrsH497

That’s strange @TwittleBee re testing in FRER. Maybe I will use a cheaper test too.

@Noisysparrows I’m sorry AF has arrived. Have you had back to back mc this cycle? I have ordered FRERs to arrive today so I can’t test. I’m expecting and hoping for negative so I can get on and try again but I’m sure it will be a bit disheartening. I get bad PMT too and feel like I have PMT even though bleeding has pretty much stopped

Hope everyone else is ok x

@ReeReeR well can't confirm or deny cp this time round but if it was then yeah, MMC mid july and straight into cp this cycle. Mind you AF is acting weird, start/stopping and v light - I don't really know what to make of it but guess it could all just be dodgy post mc hormones as I was 11 weeks by the time I miscarried so I guess it'll take a while to properly reset. Still half hoping it might be ovulation or implantation but I think not!

Would you believe it rainbows again today ( really hoping it's a sign) and even brighter than the last on I posted