TTC after pregnancy loss thread 31 - baby penguins are coming!

[strawberrye]

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Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone TTC after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through he rollercoaster of TTC and get our baby penguins xx

@fnej01 I’m really pleased for you, such good news!

Thanks everyone for the support.

@VenusStarr I’m so sorry you feel down. I don’t know anything about reflexology but I am under the impression this is complementary therapy. I don’t understand how a kink in a Fallopian tube can be diagnosed without a scan. And I would trust your medical doctor on the SA results over a reflexologist. I would see if you can get an appointment with your gp and ask them to go through all of this. I really hope you return to the thread soon

Great news on the ovulation @Avocuddles ALL the sex for you, have fun!! I wouldn't stress too much about having a drink on the hen do. A few drinks wont do any harm and if you're relaxed and having fun then its all good.

@Navy123 and @Pop1234 I'm sorry, I seem to have missed you guys yesterday when I was congratulating all the BFPs (there were so many!) Congratulations to you both!!

you too @CodlingMoth Congratualtions and fingers crossed for a wee sticky one this time xx

@ReeReeR Aw, your line was quite obvious to me in the pic. DH is maybe just being a bit cautious and doesn't want to get his hopes up. Just wait til he sees that darker line in a couple of days, he'll be made up

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry your feeling so down today. I see that your reflexologist has said you have a lot of tension. I have been feeling like this too since my TFMR 8 weeks ago. I found a lovely local holistic therapist who I've been to see 3 times now. The first two times she gave me a lovely deep massage to get rid of all the tension in my back and shoulders. All the while she was doing breathing exercises with me and telling me to release whatever emotions I was feeling at the time. It was very cathartic and relaxing.
The 3rd time I went, she gave me reiki. It was quite a different experience, but by the end of the treatment I felt very calm and peaceful. She told me that I had loosened up considerably since my first session. I do feel much "lighter" since seeing her.
Also, I have been going to a fertility yoga class which is fab and I'm doing the wee odd yoga session in the house (just going along with a YouTube video) I have found that all these wee things add up and as a result I feel a bit more relaxed and less stressed.
Its ok to feel emotional and tearful, its just so cruel and unfair that we are all in this shitty position of having been previously pregnant and now were not. Just have a big cry and let it all out. It will hopefully make you feel a tiny bit better. I do hope that speaking with your counsellor helps and remember that we are all here for you xx

Thanks all for the advice re temping, charting etc. I'm going to see how things go this month and see if my cycle settles a bit. If not I'll probably just buy some kind of gadget. I'm swaying towards the OvuSense. I emailed them with a few questions and they answered and also gave me a discount code for 20% off (its HAPPYSUMMER in case anyone else was considering)
On the other hand, if I went for the Ava bracelet, they seem to hold their value so I could sell it on when I'm done with it. The OvuSense, not so much...

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry to read your text. I once went to a reflexologist in 2016 when I was TTC naturally. I didn't know much about reflexology back then but read about her being a fertility reflexologist I decided to give it a go. During the session, she worked on my feet and instantly said that my left Fallopian tube was blocked! I was so upset and instantly thought that was the reason I wasn't conceiving. Then I went to my clinic where I had IUI but did say to the doc about my left tube and I wanted the tubes tested first. And guess what, none of my tubes were blocked and I could clearly see this on the monitor when she flushed the dye. I was fuming as she caused me a great deal of stress! I conceived with IUI right there and then and my DD is just over 2yrs old now. A few years later I found a different reflexologist and I told her about my previous experience and that I was skeptical. She said, none of reflexologist would ever say anything like that as they're not medically trained. Anything like that must be checked out by a doctor.

Thanks everyone. Just to clarify, sorry I still feel a bit jumbled and overwhelmed. She did say she can't diagnose but on my left fallopian tube bit of my foot / ankle it felt different for her. I can't remember the exact words she used. I have to be careful that I don't fill in the blanks (I did that with my first ultrasound). She is a midwife trained in reproductive reflexology.

None of you have upset me, I think I've just upset myself 😢😢 I don't think I can keep putting myself through this but I don't know what that means for me. I feel broken.

@VenusStarr sorry you're having a tough time. Make sure you look after yourself, it's hard when there's a rush of bfps on here, I remember it from last time there were a few at once.

@TubbyMcFatfuck thanks!

So I'm getting myself in a spin...I was googling to find evidence to take to the gp about increased scans etc reducing risk in recurrent miscarriage (the epu says it won't scan just because you've had multiple miscarriages here ) and found this mft.nhs.uk/app/uploads/sites/4/2018/04/12-123-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Service-January-2015.pdf (no idea how to make it a clicky link sorry!) which said that a)there's no point to low dose aspirin and b) it can increase miscarriage risk if taken before 8 weeks! I've been taking it since Monday and now don't know if I should carry on. Even if it was only the placebo affect that's now ruined because I'm convinced it's going to make me mc again!

@TubbyMcFatfuck thank you, I'm just a nervous wreck.

@Navy123 I am under Dr Shehata in Epsom and he puts all of his patients on low dose aspirin as a standard from their first appointment. So I think it can only be a good thing.

@VenusStarr sorry about your appointment and that you are feeling sad. What dpo are you today? I would also have to agree and try and not take it all as complete gospel. Easier said that done though, I know.

@fnej01 thank you. How are you getting on? Are you under Dr Shehata? (I might have got that wrong).

@Mistymeow how are you doing this afternoon? Has the spotting stopped?

Sorry if I've forgotten to tag anyone. Hugs to all xx

I'm 10dpo @Pop1234. I think it's just hit me today that we will need help to conceive 😢

@VenusStarr I think you and I are on the same page.

I have been reading the thread but finding it very difficult. Congratulations on all the BFP's. I'm sorry I've not tagged you ladies individually.

I'm going to linger here until Tuesday when I've been to the rmc. Dependant on the results DH and I will have to talk and make some decisions as to if we should keep trying or not.

@fnej01 thanks for asking after me x

@Pop1234 thanks, that's reassuring.

I've realised that I have been very guilty of what got me, and others, rightfully frustrated a couple of months ago and keep posting about pregnancy. I'm sorry if that has upset people, I didn't mean to be so thoughtless and I know this should be a safe space for people ttc. I'm going to put my big girl pants on and move to the other thread for now.

I'll keep checking in and hope to see all of you over there some time! I also know I can come back if I need to - this thread has been actually amazing and the support from all of you lovely ladies has helped no end. Good luck to all of you

@Pop1234 I am under St Mary's RMC in London, but self referred to Coventry clinic with Professor Quenby for UNK biopsy, where I was prescribed pred.

Congrats to all those who've had their BFP and also to @fnej01 on your lovely healthy heartbeat - that must be an amazing experience.

@VenusStarr I'm sorry you've had such a bad time. Please don't take what your reflexologist said or implied at face value - much as I think alternative therapies are worth a try (having just got home from acupuncture myself....) at the end of the day as @Russkispy says a reflexologist is not a medical professional and they really shouldn't be trying to 'diagnose' you.
Try not to let the thought of needing help get you down. I actually fell pregnant at the point that I'd accepted that I would need fertility treatment and had put away the tests, stopped scheduling sex etc. I've booked a GP appointment for next week to ask if we can referred to the clinic again - I've gone all out with the opks this month but i don't think I'll be able to relax until I get that referral letter again!

@Navy123 you're always very welcome here and do keep us posted. Hope to see you 'ok the other side' soon.....

Hi ladies. Still lurking but not every day, mainly because work is incredibly busy.

@ReeReeR @Mistymeow @Pop1234 YES YES YES tentative congratulations! Fx those lines get darker and you have sticky beans! Welcome to the pregnancy after loss anxiety!

@Lilimum7 you've really been through the wringer. That really sucks! You deserve a big break and sticky BFP! I still remain hopeful for you.

Sorry @fnej01 missed you off. Congrats on the positive scan!

BFPs tend to come in waves on here don't they.

Ladies, I'm truly sorry if any of you have found my posts upsetting. I do understand how a streak of BFPs can be hard for those who haven't got theirs yet and the last thing I'd ever want to do is upset any of you. I'm moving over to the graduates thread and I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of you there very soon. Take good care of yourselves.

Huge congratulations to @ReeReeR @Mistymeow @fnej01 such good news and fingers crossed for you all.

Sending all my love @Lilimum7 and @VenusStarr I'm sorry you are both up against it at the moment and I really hope your fortunes change soon xx

Hey ladies

Congrats to those on their journey to graduates

Update
So I suffered my 3rd miscarriage last week - still raw but I'm coping

This time was very painful - and heavy

I wanted to ask those ladies who went onto try for baby right after a miscarriage

-did you wait for your 1st period ? Or try straight away ?

• I've finally been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic , any idea what happens from here

Are there tests etc ? My appointment came through this morning

Anyone have experience of these appointments?

FWIW I haven't been upset by anyone's post and wish best of luck to all with bfps on their way to the grads. However totally sympathise with anyone finding it hard reading, I'm still fresh to the thread and only a few weeks past mc so not yet as ground down by TTC as I can remember being last time.

@Rumi1 So sorry for your loss, hope you're over the worst now physically. I haven't been to rmc but have definitely TTC as soon as bleeding has stopped after mc. Never resulted in a pregnancy straight away sadly but then my ovaries are a law unto themselves. I started again at two weeks after latest mc (now 3 weeks). AFAIK the reason they tell you to wait is more about dating a resultant pregnancy than chances of success or otherwise.

@Avocuddles exciting re OPK! Don't worry about a few drinks and hope this is your time!

@VenusStarr I honestly would take anything a reflexologist has to say re the state of your Fallopian tubes with a pinch of salt. Her being a midwife gives her no extra authority in that diagnosis than any other alternative practitioner as it has nothing to do with midwifery training (I'm an ex-midwife and I know sweet FA about diagnosing blocked Fallopian tubes other than what I learned at my own hycosy). Appreciate it can feel reassuring at the time to have someone sounding authoritative tell you about what's going on inside but please don't set too much store by it x

@Rumi1 so sorry for your loss hope you are looking after yourself. We always tried straight away because it felt right for us - never got pg the next month though, always skipped one. Can't help with the rmc though, I was referred in April and still no appointment!

@Rumi1 so sorry for your loss. I started as soon as I'd had my negative pregnancy test which was three weeks after. I bled for over two weeks off and on, at two weeks I still had a faint negative but it was clear at three. My periods were always very long and irregular so there was nothing to be gained from a dating perspective if we waited, as it was it took 50 days for AF to arrive I'm now on CD21 and 1DPO (I think) so a far shorter cycle this time thankfully - in fact the shortest since I came off the pill 15 months ago. All I would advise it to not put too much pressure on yourself; several friends had told me of either their own or other peoples experiences of conceiving immediately after miscarriage and I think when AF did arrive it hit me pretty hard because I'd had so much hope in conceiving again immediately, even though it had taken me a year in the first place!

@Pop1234 I’m ok thanks, still spotting but it’s not worrying me. How are you?
@ReeReeR are you testing again today?
@Lilimum7 I really hope you get some answers from the rmc and a treatment plan put in place. I am very hopeful for you.
@Rumi1 sorry for your loss and that it’s been particularly painful. I started ttc after a negative test once the bleeding had stopped. Generally they say if you’re ready and there has been no further bleeding you can try again (unless you have been told otherwise). They do recommend to wait for one period but this is purely because they can date the pregnancy more easily. Yes I’ve had my first rmc appointment. It varies from person to person but as we have MFI my consultant wanted him to see a urologist and have a sperm test to look at dna fragmentation, as this can cause miscarriage. I had a load of blood tests (nk cells, lupus, aps etc) but no pelvic or internal scan (they may offer you one to look at the shape of your womb). I hope this helps. They will really listen and help you

@InDreamland thank you. I know all about the anxiety feeling with this being my 5th pregnancy. Time just seems to stop.

@Mistymeow I'm ok thanks. I went and had my first lot of intralipids yesterday at Dr S's clinic. My tests have got darker so I've stopped testing now. Have you tested again?

@ReeReeR How are you?

@Lilimum7 Sorry you are feeling low. I also know how it feels having 4 losses and feel like I am also one of the ones left behind. I've been on this thread for over a year and feel like even though I've got a positive test, I'll soon be ttc all over again. I've joined due date threads before and always had to be the one that leaves. Did you have a variety of tests done at your rmc appt? Depending on what they find, would going private be an option for you? I could really recommend Dr Shehata. Although I'm not a success story yet, I have heard plenty.

I hope people don't mind me hanging out here a bit. I have had 4 losses and I just don't feel confident to move yet. I won't mention anything pregnancy or scan related.

Hi all, thanks for those asking after me @InDreamland @Mistymeow @Pop1234

I tested again yesterday as SIL and family are coming over shortly and I didn’t think a good idea to test in case it wasn’t a clear BFP. I didnt use fmu but it is a darker line so I feel a bit better. It’s still v early for me - af isn’t even late yet (although cycle is irregular anyway) Hope everyone is ok x

Sorry to everyone who was being so lovely on Wednesday and trying to reassure me. I was just feeling massively overwhelmed by everything. 💜

I think I'm pregnant? I've attached the test I did yesterday evening when I got home from work, so 11dpo. There is something there isn't there?

I feel like crap today, very nauseous and headache plus I'm shattered. But I'm only cd 22, ridiculously early. By my lmp I'm 3 weeks today.

Is this even real?! I don't even know what the hell is going on anymore. Sorry to attach the picture, I'm freaking out a bit here.

Ps I tested because I didn't want to believe that it was over this cycle but felt I needed to see a bfn to help me put it to bed but also my temperature went back up yesterday morning so I was still hopeful.

I've ditched the thermometer now though. X