TTC after pregnancy loss thread 31 - baby penguins are coming!

[strawberrye]

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Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone TTC after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through he rollercoaster of TTC and get our baby penguins xx

Hope all is well @Russkispy early pregnancy is such a worrying time.

@Russkispy how are you now? It's such a worrying time. Hopefully all is fine for you xx

@Avocuddles thanks yes the interview is for the charity-it's this afternoon. I'm a bit 50-50 on it. How are you doing?
@TinyPaws sorry your due date is soon and you are feeling low. I imagine the medication isn't helping your mood. I really hope this cycle is successful.
@yukka congratulations on the birth of your baby, what lovely news! I hope you're feeling ok and settling in with your new arrival. You have given a lot of women on these threads so much support over the months and I am so pleased you have your happy ending.
@fnej01 so pleased that you have a positive test, although I understand the worry. It looks like you have a good plan in place. Fingers crossed.
@russkispy that is worrying about the red blood but it could well be implantation bleeding. How are you doing today?
@Lilimum7 I'm sorry to hear about your results and dh had a bad reaction. He will come round I'm sure. I did wonder about your progesterone due to the rocky temps, but it looks like they can treat it. As a pp said they can also prescribe clomid to help you ovulate and this has a very good success rate. You don't seem to have issues conceiving so they may not think IVF is a good route for you anyway, they will focus on treating the underlying causes of the miscarriages.

Thanks for asking @Pop1234 et al about my rmc appointment. I've just returned from seeing Dr Shehata. It was very useful. He is going to run all the tests (I've had a lot of blood taken) although no scans, but he was, as I expected, more interested in my dh. He has recommended we look at sperm dna fragmentation so dh has already ordered the test and booked an appointment (private, £250). As we have conceived twice he doesn't think IVF would help and it's best to look at causes of the miscarriages before going down that route. Depending on the dna fragmentation we may go for IMSI which is specifically for sperm with high dna fragmentation. But we shall see what the test says. Dr S also has referred DH to a urologist specialising in male infertility. Our fertility consultant will also review. Gosh, that's four consultants between us. I have a follow up appointment with Dr S in 3 months.

Sorry this post is so long!

Bleeding is still here, from last night varies anything from brown to pink to red. But not much and not all day and it's not filling the pad. I rang EPU again and spoke to the lovely nurse who looked after me with my last MMC and d&c. And suggested i came tomorrow to see the same consultant from my both d&c. She was so nice on the phone and also she said an interesting thing. I don't have to be referred by GP to them! Whereas the other lady from yesterday kept saying I had to be referred over and over again! So the lovely nurse apologised for that. Anyway, I'm going tomorrow. I don't have any pains, discomfort, cramps or passing any clots. Don't really know to expect. But expecting worse and hoping for the best. I even bought ibuprofen just now in case needed. Big sigh 😔

I really hope it's nothing and you get to see a sticky little bean @Russkispy fx for you

It’s lovely to see some BFPs since the last time I checked in on this thread! Congratulations @fnej01. @Russkispy I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.
@AliceRR thank you for your kind reply to my last post. Eliza was born at the end of January. It feels like it was yesterday. You mentioned that you were thinking about returning to work and I wondered if you had considered using some of your keeping in touch days? You could see how you go with a few days back at work and you would be paid for them. It might give you some more info to make your decision and take a little bit of the pressure off. I have gone back to work, but to be honest I am not sure it has been a good idea. I just couldn’t cope with the thought of having to fill my time, but I don’t know if this is the best thing to do in terms of my grief.

I’m finding trying to conceive also very tough. I wondered if anyone has any experience of ovulating early in their cycle? My last cycle was only 22 days and I ovulated on cd9. I’m wondering if a short cycle can create a problem for ttc in terms of womb lining not being mature enough for implantation?

@JuniperandRose sorry for your loss of Eliza. I lost my daughter at the end of January too, I'm not going back to work yet anyway but I don't feel like I would be ready unless it was flexible. Some days I feel like I would be ok but others I know I'm not. I do have a toddler to keep me busy though. I generally had shorter than average cycles and after DD2 they were even shorter ovulating around cd9, I have become pregnant again so it doesn't necessarily mean a problem.

@Bluebelltulip thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss of your daughter. Congratulations on your new pregnancy, I hope that this is a gentle time for you xx

@Avocuddles Thank you
I am keeping my fingers crossed however reading through all of the posts it is lovely to see how much support and good wishes are being given by everyone so if I'm not lucky this time I'm sure reading this thread will help xx

Thank you everyone!

@PrincessConsuela12 I'm so sorry for your loss. My twin son and daughter died in January too. I don't have any surviving children but I'm 4+5 weeks pregnant again and praying things work out this time. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope the next 9 months go swimmingly well for you!

@JuniperAndRose I'm sorry also for the loss of your daughter too. When you say it feels like yesterday I can definitely relate. Please - as hard is it is - try your bet not to get flustered about TTC. I was becoming obsessed and for the last two cycles I totally chiled out about it and I fell pregnant. I don't know if there's a link there but I like to think there is. A nurse told me that we can try too hard for things, and although hearing her say that felt like a kick in the teeth, I know deep down she was right.

@Russkispy how many weeks are you? I really hope thins turns out to be nothing of sigificance and that your scan goes well

@Squiff70 I'm 6w3d today. I don't even know what to expect anymore. I heard everyone's experience with spotting etc and just hope it turns out ok! Spoke with my clinic earlier and they tried to reassure me too. Told me to take a couple of extra progesterone pills which I did. Tomorrow will have all answers. Big sigh

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Please look after yourself.

@Mistymeow sorry I meant to wish you good luck today and completely forgot. I'm glad you got on ok, did you see him through the NHS?

My DP also did the fragmentation test and had some damage so we saw the urologist. His name was Dr Gordon and he was really nice. Could that be who you will see? He also mentioned to us about the separation if we still had no luck. Another consultant did a scan on my DP to check for any varicose veins etc. All that was clear though so Dr Gordon suggested healthier diet, no heat stress and to take Condensyl which DP has been on two months now. I just find it very mind blowing. My most recent miscarriage came back to be Edward syndrome and I asked if bad sperm could cause this and it was all 'it could have done' but they 'aren't sure.' Where as NHS consultants wouldn't even entertain the sperm being a factor, so it's hard to know what to believe. Dr S diagnosed me with high NKC and sticky blood, yet the Edward syndrome wasn't caused by any of those. So it makes you feel like you have a lot to contend with if you know what I mean! Dr S seemed to think just chromosome abnormalities are completely random and doesn't really believe in them, and my other miscarriages were caused my NKC and sticky blood, so who knows! Did you come away feeling positive?

@Squiff70 thank you! Will keep you posted 🤞🏻

Thank you @Pop1234 how interesting, looks like we are seeing the same doctors as we are also getting referred to Dr Gordon. This is all on the nhs, apart from the sperm comet test. I wonder what he will say to my DH, because he is already on the hrt injections to produce sperm. Dr S mentioned they are partnering with Tommy’s on a research project regarding sperm dna fragmentation- is this something suited to your dh? Are you thinking of doing IMSI or continuing to improve sperm quality first? It’s so hard when they can’t say whether sperm damage can result in a trisomy, just not enough research. My understanding is that it’s highly unlikely to have a second with edward’s but it’s still not reassuring to hear. I do think you are under the best care though and I hope you have your healthy baby soon. Are you on the NK treatment plan? I felt reassured after the appointment- that there are options for us before we go down the donor sperm route.

@Russkispy thinking of you today

Hi all, I’ve had a tough few days. Was at a funeral on a Monday. Last funeral I was at was my daughter’s and it brought it all back plus I saw people I haven’t seen since so it just felt very fresh and I was so emotional (which is a bit unusual for me)

I’m 6DPO now (I think). No symptoms. We are close @Navy123 @Internetaddictgirl

@VenusStarr I wanted to do SMEP this month too but by ov day we’d had enough so we didn’t do the last day of it. Hope it works out for you. I think it helps to have something to aim towards or some kind of guideline.

@Navy123 You’re right that it’s difficult to stop POAS.

Thank you for asking after me @fnej01 (I have NC) and huge congratulations to you x

Thanks for asking after me @InDreamland
I hope you are ok x

Sorry you have had this news for this cycle. Please try not I give up hope. We are all in slightly different circumstances, but also all in the same boat in some ways, and it is easy to become disheartened and feel like it won’t happen for us. You will worry about it sometimes but try not to get too stressed and upset, if you know what I mean, as that can be counter productive. Have a relaxing bath, go for a walk, have a massage or a manicure. Just be kind to yourself.

Hope everything is ok @Russkispy 🤞

I'm sorry to hear you've been having a tough time @ReeReeR ❤️ it must have been really hard on Monday.

I'm not far behind you, I ovulated on Monday, although fertility friend has it down as Sunday. Unsure whether to do the last day of dtd (Thursday) pretty sure with 3 days of high temperatures my egg is no longer there. Hopefully it's busy with a sperm 🤞 smep was tough going, dh found it harder then me I think. Might do every other day in September. My af is due on the day of dh's godson's christening.

Thinking of you today @Russkispy

Hope everyone else is OK xx

@Mistymeow Dr Gordon is lovely and he really has a lot of time for you to answer all your questions. We may consider the research and the IMSI if we are not able to improve the sperm through the Condensyl and diet and if we still continue to miscarry.

Yes I'm on the complex plan for high activation NKC, did he explain the plan to you? I have to take omeprazole, prednisolone and cyclogest pessaries from ovulation. Test at 10dpo and if negative stop the meds and if positive continue them and have the intralipids at 4,8,12,16 weeks. I'm currently 4dpo and on the drugs and so far I do feel ok, just struggling to sleep. I think the only difference with NHS patients with Dr S is they don't do the intralipids as they are quite expensive. I've also got to have my blood clotting screening repeated as my one in June showed lupus and you have to have two positives to get a diagnoses. If positive I will have daily fragmin injections too.

Is he going to give you your results at your follow up appointment or is he going to send them to you? What has he said about TTC in the meantime?

I'm glad you felt reassured. I do feel like we are in the best hands.

Hi All,
TTC for around 18 months now. Have managed to get pregnant but had a loss at 12 weeks.
Loss was horrid as we were also losing my partners father at the same time.
I bled for over 5 weeks and ended up having to have a D&C anyway.
Have been tracking ovulation and cycle since and it went back to normal or so we thought.
Tracked after first period and cycle has been pretty constant at 28 days.
Tracked ovulation with clear blue.
First month got the peak where we expected (from pre pregnancy was always day 13)
2nd month no ovulation :(
Third month got highs but no peak
Just turned 38 and now seriously panicking about wether we will be lucky enough to fall pregnant at all again, and if we do then panic will set in about loss.
So stressful and such an emotional roller coaster.
Glad I can read some of your wonderful success posts

@ReeReeR sorry you’ve been having such a difficult week. Really hope this is your month xx

@ReeReeR sorry you've had a tough few days. It's ok to feel emotional, I hope you have had plenty of support and you are (as you so wisely advise to others) being kind to yourself.

Absolutely nothing to report here unfortunately. CD13 and not the slightest suggestion that ovulation is imminent based on BBT or OPKs. Assuming my usual 6 week cycle there could be another couple of weeks to go if I do ovulate at all. GP appointment is on August 9th, I'm really hoping that she'll re refer me to the fertility clinic as I'm concerned at the impact on my mental health (and relationship) if I keep enduring the stress of 40-50 day long cycles....

Thanks @Internetaddictgirl @Venusstar

I think if you feel like dtd again then do but don’t force yourself if it’s becoming stressful or whatever. We got to the point that it was causing arguments and stress so we didn’t dtd again but we dtd in days 9, 10, 12 and 13 so I think we did it enough and I think it was you’re most fertile two days before ovulation 🤔

I think I ov on day 13 but not sure. Ovia doesn’t say, it just changes my fertile period. I got a +ve One Step on day 12 and a peak on CB on day 13 so guessing day 13. I think just dtd regularly might be less stressful but I think I’d find it hard not to POAS. Maybe this will be our cycle and we won’t have to worry about next cycle 🤞

@BFC81 I’m sorry for your loss. How long ago was it? It can take time for your body to get back to normal and sometimes it seems like it has and then your cycle is off again. I had a full term loss early this year and my cycle is not regular yet. It’s not too far off - cycles have been 26 to 34 days - but I think it takes time for our bodies to recover. I think it’s normal to have the odd month where you don’t ovulate but just because you don’t get a peak on Clear Blue doesn’t mean you haven’t ovulated. I had a cycle where I got a flashing smiley for about ten days but no peak, however, I also used an IC in the evenings and got a positive on there. Stress doesn’t help either. I’ve found going to the gym and yoga really helps me.We all worry it’s not going to happen for us but sounds like you’ve been unlucky and there is no reason why you shouldn’t have a healthy baby x

@Avocuddles sorry you're having a tough time. I only dip in and out of the thread so might have missed if you have mentioned it before but have you tried acupuncture?

Thanks @Avocuddles I think my issue atm is DH and I need to be kinder to one another! The stress is getting to us a bit but I feel good after my Zumba class and just called DH to check he’s ok. I hope you get a referral soon. Have you always had long cycles?

Hugs to everyone else