TTC after pregnancy loss thread 31 - baby penguins are coming!

[strawberrye]

🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone TTC after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through he rollercoaster of TTC and get our baby penguins xx

Ladies I got another blazing positive opk again today do I start the 24 ovulation counted from yesterday or today. Help I really don't want to miss this. We bd the last 3 mornings (night driver) including this morning but I don't think he's got another one in him for tomorrow morning. Do you think we've done enough?

@Avocuddles I tested on cycle day 12 and had low positives but had a peak and highs the next day. I hadn’t a clue when to begin testing as I had a D and C on 24th June and I had randomly tested 4 days after it and had low positive on opk then but I don’t believe it was hormone related as I had a negative pregnancy test 3 days after the procedure

@Lilimum7 Had a name change. We are usually about in sync. What DPO are you now? I’m CD8 and started OPKing today but expect to ov around day 13

@Avocuddles I use CB and it told me to start testing today at CD8 based on a 28 day cycle. I would start testing about 20 days before end of cycle as you’re likely to of 12-16 days before end of cycle but I’d start earlier to be on the safe side especially if cheap OPKs so you’re not wasting much

Hugs to everyone x

Hi everyone.

Sorry to hear af arrived @Avocuddles, I'm cd 2 now, so we're roughly the same this month. It's really painful again this month, don't know how I got away with no pain on holiday. I'm consoling myself with the fact that my cycle is back to normal (25 days) and the flow looks really healthy. I'm feeling sad overall but realistic that I'm having tests (hysteroscopy next month) and hopefully if we need help we'll get it. Don't want to ttc on our own for another 18 months 😔

I'm going to try reflexology, has anyone else tried that?

@Lilimum7 what cycle day are you? If dh not up for today maybe try again tomorrow?

Dh and I have done a spring clean in our conservatory today, feeling productive. Going to make something nice for dinner and might treat myself to a gin and Tonic 😊

Hugs xx

@ReeReeR and @VenusStarr hello I'm cd11/1 dpo ( I'm not sure yet). I hope we got enough in if he can't dtd again in the morning. I hope things happen this month it would be nice to fall before rmc appointment.

🤞 @Lilimum7 hopefully this will be your month. I know your cycles are short like mine, so timings look good. When's your rmc appointment? X

@VenusStarr my rmc appointment is 6th August so if AF comes then I'll be right in the middle of fw at the appointment

Ladies do you think this one I'd darker than the last one (first pick today, second pic yesterday) so do I count today as LH surge not yesterday?

I think today is darker @Lilimum7

@VenusStarr sorry you're in the same boat. Although this is my first period since my MC it's really light (much like they were before my pregnancy) and not painful. I wish I had 25 day cycles! Mine are frequently twice that long so half the 'chances'. I've booked a GP appointment in a few weeks time to enquire about getting back to the fertility clinic. Hopefully they'll base things on the fact we've been TTC for 15 months and I'm over 35 rather than starting to count again from the miscarriage... Had you started down the fertility treatment road before you fell pregnant? I had my very unexpected BFP on the same day that I sent my forms back to the clinic, I was over the moon to ring them to cancel it but am now nervous that the pregnancy was a fluke and we won't manage it again by ourselves....

Hi @Avocuddles. We started tests last November when we got to a year ttc. It took 3 months and I remember sitting in the GP room crying because he still hadn't referred us despite having all our test results back, he called me that weekend to say he'd sent the referral off. The following Saturday I got my bfp. For some reason we didn't cancel the referral. I actually got the appointment letter the day of my first scan telling us to prepare for the worst.

I have lots of fibroids and the epu said they'd caused the mmc so I was referred to gyne. She dismissed everything epu said and told me to continue with the fertility pathway and discharged me. I took her discharge letter to our consultant appointment.

The consultant couldn't have been less interested in my miscarriage and has kept us on.

I don't know he ins and outs but @Mistymeow has a similar experience and I think if you haven't had a live birth then you're still eligible but you might have to push your case. Personally I feel it would be like being punished for miscarrying if they refused to see you.

I've had an hsg, ultrasound and will have a hysteroscopy next month then back in September, so nothing is quick. We'll be almost at 2 years when any type of intervention happens. Good luck 🍀

I chatted to dh yesterday and said there's 2 things we haven't tried, dtd every other day throughout (😳 his face) or smep (he laughed at the one for luck and said I'd made it up). We've agreed on smep, so will start this week. It'll be all done by next Wednesday I'd imagine - there are benefits to short cycles but getting my period every 3.5 weeks or less is crap.

One last shot before my hysteroscopy, my ovulation tests are arriving by Wednesday. Wish us luck 🤞

This is a huge post, sorry. Hope everyone is doing OK today xx

@VenusStarr no need to apologise for the long post it's really helpful.
I had all of the tests other than hysteroscopy as my area requires GPs to have put you through the full round of them prior to accepting referral. DH's sperm count was normal, and there was nothing obvious on any of my tests to explain why my cycles are so long and my periods so light. Fortunately my GP is a kind and understanding 50 something woman who has had fertility struggles in the past so hopefully she will be sympathetic when I see her. My acupuncturist who has experience in the area seemed to agree that as I haven't had a live birth then this wouldn't count against me, but guess we'll have to wait and see. I'm still hoping for another natural pregnancy but as it took so long the first time round I know that I'd be naive to put too much hope in it, or I'm just going to put myself through the same pain I experienced this week time and time again.

Fortunately my DH is 'well up' for DTD every other day in the interests of the baby making cause, so that's not an issue and it does take the pressure off somewhat. I just explained SMEP to him and his reaction was 'well that's what we've been doing anyway isn't it?'. Ironically, as I've mentioned before I conceived when we'd stopped 'trying' and weren't DTD so often so on the basis of my past 15 months the 'stop thinking about it and leave it to luck' approach unintentionally worked best. Knowing this doesn't help me to step away from the tests though!

@Lilimum7 wow you have a long surge! Looks positive for impending ovulation. I have my rmc appointment on the 23rd.
Thanks @VenusStarr I hope your tests are going well. Are they going to remove the fibroids?
@Avocuddles yes I am still eligible for ivf despite having two miscarriages. The consultant said it didn’t make a difference to our status because there was no live birth. However, we have a diagnosed condition on my dh’s side so we know it will always take a long time for us to fall pregnant naturally. For your situation they may look further into why you have such long cycles (I assume you have been tested for pcos?) and see if they can treat that before going for the more invasive ivf route. They may try you on clomid if they feel you are not ovulating every month, and this treatment can be very successful. It sounds very positive that you have a supportive GP who is thorough, mine is the same and it really makes a difference. I would push for the hysteroscopy and also for the fertility appointment for further tests. They may skip the hsg as you’ve fallen pregnant naturally, so your tubes will be clear. They may not find anything. I’ve found they are pretty sensible (for instance, technically I’m underweight for ivf but the consultant said as I’m naturally slim and always have been it wasn’t a problem, but try to put on a few pounds). So it’s not a box ticking exercise, they will do what’s in your best interest in my experience. If you have a high bmi they will want you to lose weight for ivf, and for both of you to be non smokers but I assume you’ve already factored this in. Smep is a good idea if you get positive opks otherwise it can be quite tiring if your cycles are long!

@Mistymeow just done another opk and the test line is barely there so think the surge is done. I can't work out when ovulation happened now though, hope it's not today as we just couldn't do another day this morning. Knowing my luck we've been dtd daily except the right day .
Oh well bring on the tww madness.

Does a long surge suggest ovulation hasn't happened, I struggle to ovulate or my body gave up and LH dropped off again. I can't rely on temps to confirm ovulation as my temps are all over the place. Or if it did was it 24 hour from first positive or last positive. This always confuses me.

Hi @Mistymeow thanks for the really helpful reply. I had an ovarian scan which seemed ok from a PCOS point of view - I think one ovary was borderline but not deemed enough to be an issue. I'm hoping to try the mediation route prior to IVF though am of the understanding that if you're over 35 they tend to fast track you towards IVF, so that might be on the agenda by the end of the year. We're both non smokers and have cut right back on drinking, though as I'm holiday and experiencing AF that has gone out of the window for this week!
I'm a little overweight - BMI about 28 I think so wouldn't be enough to prevent me from having treatment, though I plan to get back on a health kick, with the aim of losing about a stone after we're back from our holiday. I've made my GP appointment for about 4 weeks time as hopefully by then I'll know whether I've ovulated this month, and if I haven't I'll have clear ammunition to justify why I need further investigation. I've tried to explain to DH that DTD for the majority of the month won't achieve the end result but he's quite happy to work to an every other day approach all month round so I guess we'll stick with that for the time being - I think the fact that I did manage to get pregnant has given him a burst of energy though I'm sure the enthusiasm will wear off if we don't have any success in the next few months!

I hope that all goes well for you. What are the timescales like for IVF from referral to treatment in your area?

I've just been reading his fertility guide it's free download and it is full of useful information.
I shared the link below hope it works

naturalfertilityexpert.com/

@Avocuddles I just caught your post. I’m 40 but was 39 when I started seeing the gp following my two If you’re over 35 and been trying for 6 months they should refer you. We tried for a couple of cycles after the mcs but my body took a while to recover. I asked the doc for a referral about a month ago and It’s already been processed. We’re just waiting for an appointment which should be by the end of the month. I’ve been told the drug treatment route is most likely as I have long irregular cycles. We’ve been told we’re unlikely to need IVF as I have mild pcos and drug treatments are usually successful. I was pretty impressed at how quick this was dealt with. We’re in the east of England. I hope that helps. Xx

@Lilimum7 thanks for the link. Regarding the surge i’m not entirely sure with longer ones. You usually ovulate 12-24 hours after a surge, so if you’re still at your peak you may not ovulate just yet (as the peak occurs before the egg is released in theory). I would see if you can get dh to try again in the morning. But it’s always best to have the swimmers ready for the egg so it’s good that you have got in there a day or so early.
@Avocuddles thank you. The wait between having my first appointment with the fertility consultant and our appointment for treatment was 6 weeks (I fell pregnant 3 days before that appointment but went on to miscarry). I’m in Surrey and hoping the wait is similar when we are ready to go back on the list. It’s good that your bmi is not too high and you’re getting healthy for the appointment- it will all help. As @catconfusion says the medication treatment has a very high success rate (and also a much cheaper option for hospitals). I hope this is something they will offer you. I am grateful we can also conceive naturally even though it’s very hard. We will all get there

Hello all, me again. Hope you're enjoying your holiday @Avocuddles - it's Croatia you're visiting, isn't it? It looks a beautiful part of the world - are you a GoT fan at all, as I think bits of it served as King's Landing? @lilimum7 that looks like a great LH surge, what's it like today? Pounce on your DH if you can and he's up for it, an extra go won't hurt. Best of luck to everyone undergoing various tests and investigations, including @VenusStarr and @catconfusion - hope the referral comes through quickly.

It turns out that AF being fourteen (!) days late has actually resolved itself into a faint BFP, which is (mainly) terrifying and quietly exciting.

Given this, I'm going to slink off this thread for a while and take my panicking over to the graduate thread if I'm feeling brave enough, but thank you all so much for the support - it does mean a huge amount to have other women who get it, and you've all been such a help to me in the dark moments, even in the lurker months before I picked up the nerve to actually post. In the nicest possible way, I hope not to be back here (although I've convinced myself already that this won't stick, so I might yet lurk), but I hope you'll all be over there with me instead really soon. Lots of luck and strength to you all, and stay in touch xx

@Catconfusion @Mistymeow thanks for sharing your experiences. Now that we know that I can get pregnant naturally I imagine we'll end up down the medication route. Seeing GP in early August so hopefully that will get the ball rolling again.

@DuvetCaterpillar yes we love GoT (well, maybe not the final season...) and did the GoT walking tour which was great, along with the obligatory 'iron throne' photo and an ice cream from 'game of cones'. Anyway, more excitingly - congratulations!!!!! That's fantastic news, hope all goes well and you need never return here x

@DuvetCaterpillar tentative congratulations! I hope you are able to relax and enjoy at least some of it although I know it's a stressful time. I hope we don't see you back here too!

@DuvetCaterpillar congratulations hun xx
As for me I think ovulation didn't happen so keeping my eye out for another lh later on. lh test yesterday was barely visible and I have creamy cm today but no temp rise. So I'll have to wait for another surge or AF now

I'm not sure if I like it when the ladies disappear the second they get a bfp I really enjoyed their updates. Ah well maybe one day I will join them

@DuvetCaterpillar what lovely news, tentative congrats! I will miss seeing your fun username, please keep in touch and if you need a hand hold here the penguins will assemble 🐧

@lilimum7 temp rise may happen tomorrow, not everyone gets an instant rise. I seem to remember you saying your cycles are regular which suggests you are ovulating, so I see no reason to keep taking opks after your positive.

I also would love to hear how our sister penguins are doing, please keep in touch and don’t feel you need to leave straight away if you don’t feel ready.

Hey folks,

Been lurking for a bit and trying not too think too much about it all. I'm now 13 dpo and trying not to test too soon.

Temping this month to try and verify that I'm actually ovulating again after the MC in May which it looks like I am given the temp shifts?

I used to temp about 8years ago to avoid my fertile times and my luteal phase always use to be 12 days but I guess it might have changed by now. Does it change with age?

Trying not to get my hopes up at the mo, I'm not sure what would be more terrifying, it working or it not working 😕 and if it does work now, who knows if it will stay...

Lots of love to everyone and tentative (which my autocorrect keeps changing to tentacles 🐙) congratulations to those who are over the first hurdle xxx