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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC First Baby Thread 18 Already!

861 replies

ValidUser · 21/05/2019 20:08

Starting new thread - no stats though.

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43
Dollywilde · 27/05/2019 09:12

BFN at cd30/11 or 12dpo Sad

Bettythecat · 27/05/2019 09:15

@Dollywilde same. Af due Wednesday/Thursday. Had craving to POAS and it was a BFN of course.

How do you keep going with TTC when it seems so hopeless? We have been actively trying since last October and weren't not trying in August and September before that. I feel like my life is in limbo and it will never happen for us. Starting to feel so low and desperate.

Lozzlepop · 27/05/2019 09:23

@Dollywilde @Bettythecat sorry to hear about your BFNs but you aren't out until AF arrives so don't give up hope yet 🤞🏻

rose555 · 27/05/2019 09:24

Hi everyone, haven’t been on the group for a while as DH and I are away for our wedding anniversary. Anyway just saw the new thread and wanted to mark my place - 32, cycle 6. Will check in again once we’re home.

ELW85 · 27/05/2019 09:29

@Dollywilde, @Bettythecat - sorry to hear that ladies :( we’ll get there though!

@Bettythecat - really sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. It isn’t much comfort, but the way that I look at it is that we’re all in a similar boat, so I’m thinking that maybe successfully conceiving quickly isn’t that common?
If it’s on your mind, maybe go to the docs for an MOT? It’s peace of mind at the end of the day, and a step closer to resolving any blockers if they do need to help with anything :)

Delilah7 · 27/05/2019 09:33

@Lozzlepop that's how I felt. Unfortunately my best friend just went through it and luckily I knew what to say, do and tell her to do to support her. Defo has opened my eyes! Xx

Bettythecat · 27/05/2019 09:41

@ELW85 I'm not at a year yet and I'm only 30 so the NHS wouldn't do anything for me. I've paid for some blood tests that will be done on Thursday I think if af arrives Wednesday so that might give me some further information. I know it can't be the case that everyone conceived easily but we have a lot of friends (in fact everyone we know who has babies) who conceived the first or second time and in two cases completely by accident. I'm so happy for them but so heartbroken.

ELW85 · 27/05/2019 10:23

@Bettythecat - I hear you. And it’s awful when everyone around you is conceiving straight away or without trying when you’re trying so hard.
I’m not sure about the NHS age restrictions etc but I would say if it’s causing you to feel low or anxious, then I’m sure they would help?
Good luck with your tests though! It’s a great idea :)

Kiza · 27/05/2019 10:37

@Bettythecat @Dollywilde I feel you ladies. In the same boat, I've miscarried twice, I'm 38 and we've been trying since Oct last year. Went to the doctor due to my age and 2mc and she said until we've been trying for a year they won't do any tests.
2 of my close friends already had children in their early 20's and tried for their second children in their early 30's and both struggled. 1 of them went to the gp after a year of trying, had tests and all came back fine she went for acupuncture, changed her diet and then fell pregnant but that was after a hard year of trying for her second.
My other friend has been trying for nearly 2 years and again all their tests have come back fine so gp won't do anything for them as they are both late 20's.

Is so disheartening at times, then exciting, then anxious, it's a roller coaster of emotions for sure!!
Equally I've had some friends who fell pregnant by accident or at the drop of a hat. It's so unpredictable 😞 we just have to do what is right for each of us. I tested this morning 8dpo and bfn, will keep the faith for us all!! 👍🏼👍🏼💜

Lozzlepop · 27/05/2019 10:39

@Kiza sorry to hear about your MCs from what I have read online if you are over 35 they should offer help if you have been trying for 6 months so I would push your doctor. Hope you get some answers soon!

Kiza · 27/05/2019 10:46

@Lozzlepop I'd read something similar but my gp said no it's a year standard across the board. I'm moving home in the next few weeks so will wait until I go to my new go practise and ask again.

cupcakesandglitter · 27/05/2019 11:13

@Bettythecat @Dollywilde @Kiza I'm with you guys, it is so disheartening 😩

So I had a horrible evening last night, followed by a (I think) BFN this morning. I say think because I now have the ability to make up lines with my eyes just because I know where they should be 🙄

DH and I had a massive argument, because his mood has been really miserable. Sat down to talk it out because he's completely shut me out since his SA results. Turns out he was thinking about leaving me so that I could move on and have babies with someone else, and that he can't look at me because he knows how much pain he causes me every month. I was very honest and actually as much as every bone in my body wants a baby, I have to remember that it's not an entitlement and I'm not guaranteed to ever have kids - he's enough for me, and if we can't have kids then so be it. It was so heartbreaking to see him break down and sob, I know he feels exactly how I've been feeling and actually I think men don't often know how we feel, so I'm glad I guess that he understands. I've put a plan of action for us to absolutely try everything before we go back to the GP to refer us. We've both got some weight to lose, can definitely eat healthier and actually remember to take our vitamins.

I'm also thinking about buying preseed - I'm thinking if the number is okay but the motility isn't great then maybe preseed will help? Does anyone have any idea?

Thanks if you've made it this far, just really needed to get it off my chest.

orangeloo · 27/05/2019 11:32

@cupcakesandglitter that is really sad. Feel for you both, but it's good you've now talked it out. I'm currently trying to get my DP to go for SA as both his father and brother had motility issues and quite frankly it's already a struggle and I'm dreading the result so honestly, thank you for sharing and wish you all the best. I've read studies that supplements really can help with sperm issues and diet and exercise, so definitely worth a go. Also I should say his brother now has 2 kids naturally. Re preseed it may not hurt but I did read nothing is as good as natural fluids so should only be used when lube is needed. Maybe pay extra attention to your ewcm and make so you dtd whenever you have it. Good luck x

Delilah7 · 27/05/2019 11:32

@cupcakesandglitter very glad you and OH have sat down and he's opened up. First steps hun ❤️

cupcakesandglitter · 27/05/2019 11:43

@orangeloo definitely keep on top of him for it - it took DH 5 months to finally get it done, but it's reassurance regardless of the results. I've read it's easy to improve sperm too, tried to explain that last night, it's a very hard situation to be in I guess. I'm glad your BIL has been able to have kids naturally, I'm sure you and your DH will be fine it's just pushing him to find out I guess. Good point re the pre seed, I don't ever need lube so I'm going to leave it for the time being xx

Thanks @Delilah7 baby steps (ironically) but we're getting there xxx

Lottiepink · 27/05/2019 12:05

Aww @cupcakesandglitter that's so sad, good though that you both got everything off your chest. Fingers crossed now you both know where you are with everything it's a positive step in the right direction 😘

Kiza · 27/05/2019 12:19

@cupcakesandglitter so sorry to hear your partner had been holding that in for so long but that in the end he was able to share it with you. It's such a difficult journey and I'm very much for changing diet and supplementing with vits/mineral if need be.
There's tons of research now to substantiate the claims so worth giving a go!
I also agree with only using lube if need be (I had to near the end of our last fertile window 🤪 we had been trying the SMEP method and whereas the mister had no problems I was lagging 😆🤦🏼‍♀️

FlapJackered · 27/05/2019 12:23

@cupcakesandglitter I am so sorry. It is so hard to know what the DHs are thinking half the time but it's so good that it is all out in the open now. What was the actual result if you don't mind me asking? My DHs morphology was fairly low too but his sperm count is high so the doctors didn't seem worried. I am hoping when we get our referral appointment the consultant will be able to tell us a bit more.
I have got DH on coq10, zinc and a conception vitamin which he grumbles about but I am hoping will help with the morphology!
We use preseed as I am not sure I produce enough cm all the time. Apparently it can't hurt.

@Bettythecat It is so hard isn't it. I am finding it harder with every cycle that goes by. I just wish I had a crystal ball and could see if it was going to happen as I think either way I could come to terms with it.

MrsH497 · 27/05/2019 12:24

Oh @cupcakesandglitter love your DH bless him. I do think men get awfully forgotten in this process. I've really tried to make sure DH gets as much support as me during the MC.

Glad he opened up to you even though it took an argument. Sending you loads of love and hugs xx

ELW85 · 27/05/2019 12:31

@cupcakesandglitter - so sorry to hear that DH felt like that and that you had the night that you did, but it sounds like you got to a really positive place with it, and have .org got something to focus on to take you forwards together xx

cupcakesandglitter · 27/05/2019 13:06

Thankyou @Lottiepink @Kiza @MrsH497 @ELW85 fingers crossed we can move forward - I don't ever want him to feel like her has to leave me because of the situation, I won't let him. I've spoke to him re preseed and we've agreed to try it as a last resort (even when we SMEP I'm usually okay - mini cupcake is always ready to go 😂)

Thanks @FlapJackered I couldn't tell you 😩 the doctor was laughing throughout the whole appointment. He said numbers were okay, motility was low - DH had a virus maybe a month or so before and the GP said that probably affected them 🙄 I then asked about morphology, and again he said it was low, but then said "you know, it only takes one to do the job so when you've got millions it's a bit weird to start focusing on one or two" .... I was a bit gobsmacked, but we can't really do anything until his next SA I guess. I'm gonna get him started on CoQ10 as well as making sure he is taking pregnacare religiously. I'm glad GPs aren't worried about your DHs number, I'm guessing if there's a lot then motility won't really matter but honestly I have no idea, and I don't think I'll know until we're referred either xx

Bettythecat · 27/05/2019 13:16

@ELW85 thank you 💜 yes maybe I could explain it's making me feel so low but i don't want to waste their time or open myself up and get turned away.

@Kiza I'm sorry to hear about your mcs and your struggle too and thank you for understanding. It's such a tough journey and it's so hard to know where to turn.

@cupcakesandglitter poor you and poor DH. It's such a painful and emotional process for all involved and it's probably massively knocked his confidence. I'm so pleased you have managed to speak about it before he got himself even more worked up in his head.

@FlapJackered That's the hardest part isn't it- the not knowing. I know I don't want a life without a family so if I was never going to be able to have a natural family I would adopt for sure. I just don't know what we would do if we had to go down the ivf route- financially it would be incredibly hard and I think it's probably very difficult to manage with work too. It's just so painful that every month you have to do all the right things then be positive and hopeful and allow yourself to dream only to have the hopes dashed for yet another month and have to start the whole exhausting thing agains. I just feel in limbo- my life is on hold for this. I barely drink anymore, I don't go out partying anymore, frankly I don't care much about my job either. I just want to start my family.

LokiCat · 27/05/2019 13:18

@cupcakesandglitter oh I'm so sorry to hear how your DH has been feeling. I'm glad you guys had an open conversation. Men do seem to hold their feelings in a lot and sometimes suppress their own thoughts to put us first, which can be so unhealthy. It's good that you can both take steps forward together. Best of luck to you both xx

cupcakesandglitter · 27/05/2019 13:22

Thankyou @Bettythecat @FlapJackered interesting reading your last post Betty, I was reading something yesterday about TTC and depression and it did resonate with me for the same reasons. I don't go out, or drink, I don't want to see anyone or speak to anyone, I don't care about my job anymore either. Brings the money in so that's enough really - i feel like my life is on hold until I have kids, almost like that's what'll complete me and it's what's missing from my house and relationship. It's torture isn't it 😩

Thankyou @LokiCat ❤️ xxx

LikeTheFruit · 27/05/2019 13:23

Sorry that everyone seems to be having such a touch time at the moment.

I stupidly did a FRER this morning at 9/10dpo which was bfn. So annoyed at myself. Need to give any remaining tests to FH to hide. Boobs are sore, but very spotty today so guessing this is all pre-AF. Feeling very tired ab yesterday burst into tears after trying to make tea and coffee with cold water. AF due fri/sat so have promised myself to not POAS until 1st June - that's if AF doesn't come first