TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Lilimum7]

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Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

Has anyone ever had a late AF, loads of BFN and then a BFP? Trying not to get my hopes up. AF is nearly a week late and still getting negatives

@AliceRR September sounds sensible - though fingers crossed the summer will bring you a rainbow BFP. I'm thinking I'll give it until October / November - I'll have passed another birthday by then and it will be 18 months since we started trying. Though of course hoping to be sporting a bump by then!

@Frillyfarmer i also worry about being 'difficult'. I went for a meal with a couple of friends on Saturday night, one of whom is 6mths pregnant, and I couldn't help but feel like I was bringing the whole situation down. Ended up having a fair bit of wine which made the atmosphere less frosty but did nothing for my head on Sunday morning! That's great news about the promotion. I hate that we live a world where pregnancy is a barrier to profession but unfortunately it's the case in most workplaces. Keep ignoring the bitching and relish being an awesome working mum!

Evening ladies.

I did POAS and BFN so at least Its not like last month. So back to CD1 I am. I really don't know if I should do OPK this time or not.

WRT GP I guess my 6month of trying clock has been reset given my m/c last month and one month we missed the fertile window.
My BMI is too high, despite being a size 14 and cycling 40mins a day 4 days a week (more active than I ever have been). So they will just tell me to loose weight. I'm not sure I'd ever get my partner to agree to any sort of fertility treatments or investigations anyway. He has 3 kids, 1 with me. He thinks the only reason I'm not pregnant is that I'm too highly strung. 🤷‍♀️

It's so confusing what treatment is available and when and it's different in each health authority.

Xxx

Hello, please may I join the penguin huddle? I've been lurking here a bit but not quite picked up the nerve to join in before. I'm so sorry for all of your losses - it's the club no one wants to join.

I'm 34, TTC #1 since Sept 2018, and had an ectopic pregnancy and left tube removal in Feb 2019. We're trying again, but no luck so far. I've been rather low this last fortnight or so, because we started trying about nine/ ten months ago - had things just worked out differently and I'd conceived first try (like so many other people seem to) I would already be holding our son or daughter. Instead I'm a tube down, heartbroken, desperately missing my little one and fearful it may never happen at all for us, and that I'm too old and we've missed our chance.

Am just going into the start of yet another TWW and just can't quite see the point of it all at the moment. Plus I entirely agree with the poster who said she's scared to be pregnant and scared not to be - it's terrifying either way, isn't it?

I've had some counselling through work which I've found unexpectedly helpful, but it's uncovered how lonely this all feels for me, hence joining the huddle. Can I pull up an ice block or something?

@DuvetCaterpillar

It's a lovely thread. Please do join us, but I'm sad that you find yourself here, if that makes sense.

It sounds like you have had a really bumpy road. Nothing ever works out the way you expect. I hope you have some good support around you an it sounds like the counselling is a good outlet. Is it something you can keep going to?

Xxx

Hi @DuvetCaterpillar and welcome. Sorry you've found yourself here, you've had a rough journey so far but don't give up hope. This is a really supportive group and no question is too daft so pull up a chair and hopefully you won't need to be here for long x

Ugh. I'm sorry to come on and moan but I'm feeling so low today.
AF is about a week away. I just feel like it won't be a bfp and if it is there are so many hurdles to get through.
I've not helped myself either as I was meant to be losing weight.

@pinkoi @avocuddles thanks both for the kind words, much appreciated.

I've just had the fourth of six sessions with the counsellor, so I've got a couple left, and the option to continue privately after I suppose, depending how costly it is - am lucky to have the option. I didn't think it would help, but it's a different depth of conversation I find I don't really have with anyone else but my husband, which has been great for just getting all the swirling thoughts out.

How are you both doing today?

So down today. Dtd didn't happen, definitely ovulated today felt every minute of it. It was the most depressing thing ever. I know there's I minute chance as we dtd on Sunday noon time but it's so slim. I'm so down if we had dtd yesterday I would have been happy to feel the ovulation pain. But it's just another kick in the head this cycle.

Hi @treaclepie19 and please do vent away. I hear you, it's so dispiriting, isn't it? Plus I comfort eat, which isn't helping my attempts to shift excess weight either - it's tough to stay motivated, isn't it?

Is there anything you could schedule in as a treat for between now and next week, so whatever happens, there'll be something nice to look forward to?

@Lilimum7 Oh no, I'm sorry, how frustrating. Any chance of DTD tonight? You might still just catch the egg, plus at least you'd know you tried.

@DuvetCaterpillar not a chance ship's in the night I'm out at 7am he's in at 7.30am

@Lilimum7 how frustrating, there's every chance that DTD on Sunday could have done the job though? Are your cycles regular enough that you could plan something to ensure you're together at the optimum time next cycle?

Intrigued when you say that you felt every moment of ovulation - what do your symptoms / pains feel like? When I fell pregnant it was (incorrectly!) believed that I wasn't ovulating, so although i know the theory of symptoms such as EWCM I've never really identified them during the year I was TTC (and prior to that had been on the pill for many years). I'm on day 2 of CB flashing smiley, but based on previous experiences I'm not getting my hopes up. I wasn't actually testing the month I fell pregnant, but in previous months I'd have a week or so of flashing smilies but never a solid one. Going to switch to different opks once I've used up my current stash, though I guess a flashing one is better than nothing?

@DuvetCaterpillar thank you ❤
Yeah I comfort eat too. I'm currently considering going to the shop for some gin.
I'm on cd17 of (probably) 23 and not sure what to do for the best.
We're meant to be dtd to cover all bases tonight and I just don't think I can find the energy. Ugh such a grump!

@Avocuddles I get really bad sharp stabby pains on the side that's doing the ovulation and then mild cramps for the rest of the day. Not everyone gets it though

Are you temping or using OPKs this month @Lilimum7? I only ask because I get very bad ovulation pains for the two three days running upto Ov, so it could be the prelude?

@Frillyfarmer both hun had my peak and now got creamy cm so it's happened I think although no temp rise today. Just my luck that after all the tears and stress over missing ovulation, it failed and its an anovulation cycle anyway. Just really fed up of all this. It's not fair that some people just say let's have a baby and wham they are pregnant and sail through it. Sorry I'm just really in a bad place right now

@DuvetCaterpillar

I'm ok I guess but I'm just watching my body like a hawk at the mo.

Even tho AF started 2 days ago I still don't completely trust that I'm not pregnant, given that last month I got a BFN a few hours before my "period" only to get an BFP 2 weeks later (with no BD for 4 weeks) and then MC 3 days later.

I still feel nauseous and have done for a week now... I realise I'm probably not, but last month blew my mind a bit xxx

How are you doing??

@Lilimum7 I'm sorry that's so rough. I absolutely breezed through my first pregnancy and honestly ignorance is bliss if it happens that was for you- I cringe at how easy I thought it would be second time round.

I'm 8DPO and trying desperately not to POAS or obsess at all about anything remotely fertility related. Busy couple of days at work coming up and hopefully that will distract me!

Has anyone been taking evening primrose oil or agnus cactus?? What are they for? Cycles are so messed up after MC

Hey @FirstTimeMama91 I used to take both for my PCOS and it used to help regulate cycles. I tried both again after my two back to back miscarriages and my cycles are getting worse. This cycle I'm on day 42 and I've not ovulated and had some spotting which I've never had before. I've been taking Proceive conception vitamins and I've stopped them through fear they've made my cycles worse. I'm thinking about stripping supplements back to folate/folic acid or maybe the Zita West ones. What are you currently taking and how far post mc are you? I'm so sorry for your loss! xx

@Catconfusion thanks and I'm so sorry for your losses I have only ever taken pregnacare or folic acid/vitamin D. I'm currently taking the Holland and Barrett folic acid/vitamin D.
My MC was at the beginning of April I was 7 weeks pregnant. First cycle took 40 days and this cycle I'm currently on day 36. I think I ovulated late. It's a nightmare. Have been POAS and getting my hopes up but I know AF is going to be here any day now x

@FirstTimeMama91 It really is a nightmare and really gets you down when you just want to try again. Did you have irregular cycles before? xx

@Catconfusion yep definitely. And squinting at every stick hoping for two lines. Yes they were always around 29-31 days so I just assumed after MC they would go back to normal. What about you? X