TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Lilimum7]

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Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

@Avocuddles and @InDreamland thanks ladies I'm just so stressed out these days, panicking I'm running out of time as I'm 38 and my mum started menopause at 36. But I reason that I have no grey hairs and no wrinkles ( I am aware that that means nothing) so I'm not old enough to start menopause. My mind is going a mile a minute I really need a holiday. The other thing that's playing on my mind is possible scars in my womb caused by having too many erpc's in a small time frame. Oh my god when will my brain give me a break. I'm desperate to be pregnant and have a healthy baby but terrified of another loss I don't think I can't take another one it might break me for good.
Sorry for my me me me rant not having a good day

Is there anything you can do to help you relax @Lilimum7?

@AliceRR I would be much calmer if DH was home but his company keeps sending him away all week. I think I'll start a new blanket to give my mind something to do instead of over thinking all the worst possible outcomes.

@AliceRR that's very interesting, thank you for sharing that. Never heard of the link to the placenta. Great that you have some support and advice. You will get your BFP soon!

@Lilimum7 I just want to wrap you up in warm fluffy blankets and look after you. Are you taking coQ10? If not might be worth looking into.

@lilimum7. I completely understand your worries and went through something similar earlier this year. My periods dropped to a day from previously being 4 long, and I started to get lots of hot flushes. Was convinced I was menopausal or had no womb lining left. The real low was in February this year, but was also fortunately in the middle of all my tests. The scans have showed that I have a consistently good lining thickness of 10.5mm or 11mm, and all of my hormone results whilst weren't perfect (I am 38) showed no sign of menopause.

@Lilimum7 I questioned docs etc about it, and they said it was just my body settling down after the 3 consecutive losses last year and try not to worry. I also talked to my acupuncturist who said that in Chinese medicine MC is tougher than childbirth and I had had 3 close together so my body was just in recovery and I needed to just give it time to recover. Another 3 months on and periods are not 100% back to normal but up to 3 days and a reasonable bleed, and the hot flushes have been gone for a couple of months. I think we really underestimate how long our bodies need to recover and settle down. My last MC was in October and it was April before I feel I am back to normality. I know it is hard but try not to worry, and just try and be kind and nurture yourself

Not sure if you are down the acupunture route, but would thoroughly recommend it. I find it relatively relaxing, but have also found the acupuncturist a bit of a sounding board, to discuss stuff when no one else was listening. Also she talks to me a lot about the beliefs of Chinese medicine versus western medicine and what our bodies need, which I have found comforting. Sorry for the essay, I hope this provides some reassurance. x

Have any of you ladies tried reiki?

@fnej01 thanks for sharing your experience with me. Unfortunately I don't think acupuncture is for me as I have a needle phobia I can't get passed this rediculous thought that the needle will break in me. You should see the performance every time I need blood tests lol.
@Indreamland thanks I'm sure I'll be fine at some point. I suffer really badly from anxiety and I'm trying really hard not to end up back on medication because ttc on that stuff is not good. I do take Q10 and a number of other vitamins ( I checked at my first appointment if what I was taking was OK and he said it was all good and safe, but to stop Q10 if I get bfp)

Thank you ladies, I'm so grateful for this thread and all you wonderful women. I would be a real mess without you all keeping me grounded.

TWW is driving me nuts been staring at IC's the last 3 days praying for that second line to appear. Hate this bit!!

@AliceRR
I have had reiki before but not since my losses. I always found it very relaxing.

@Lilimum7 is reflexology an option? I did find one that specialised in fertility and it was good but decided that the acupuncture was for me.

@InDreamland hope you are ok, and bleeding has settled

X

@Avocuddles After my MC it took 6 weeks for AF to arrive but everyone is different x

@Lilimum7 it's definitely worth discussing your family history of early menopause with your doctors - although it's unlikely that you're experiencing it yet it may make them progress treatments with more urgency?

@fnej01 I have an initial acupuncture consultation booked next week so interested to see your positive endorsement. I have always had a needle phobia but managed to survive daily enoxaparin injections for three weeks before / after my MC (administered by DH as I was too anxious to do it myself) and will have to have them for a year if I conceive and carry to full term so I figured I will make it through. Slightly nervous that I'll run out the room when the needles actually come out but trying to think positive thoughts!

I've seen a lot of references to aspirin on this thread but don't quite understand the implications. What does the aspirin actually do and is this different to the effects of enoxaparin / clexane?

@Lilimum7 sorry you are having a stressful time, my af is slightly calmer today but still in some pain. I'm worried because mine is heavier for longer than normal. I suppose we are so conscious of our bodies after a mc that anything that could impact fertility is on our minds.

@AliceRR I'm having a bit of reiki in reflexology session (have second one tomorrow). She is doing the reiki to help my grief to move in the right direction so it doesn't stagnate. It made sense at the time, she laid her hands in my neck area, my heart and then my feet and then did the reflexology.

@Avocuddles my first af was about 30 ish days after my mc. I hadn't ovulated so was not painful and not particularly heavy. It was a very huge trigger and I found it very emotional. Currently having my first proper af and it is being really nasty and painful. I hope in some way it's symbolic and that my body will do its thing this cycle and give me a BFP.

Has anyone else tried proceive max? www.boots.com/proceive-max-women---30-sachets-10256641. I tried my first sachet this morning and it made me want to vomit! Am going to try mixing with orange juice in the morning and see if it's more bearable. Its a conception supplement for women over 35 or under 35 and ttc for over 18 months. Not cheap but I'm willing to throw the kitchen sink at this as I know DH is not interested in getting any help, he is taking a what will be will be approach

@Avocuddles you read my mind was about to ask the same thing! MC was 17th May and still waiting but also wondered when I may do a pregnancy test as well. Such a confusing time

@MrsH497 the epu told me every time to do hpt 3 weeks from the date you miscarry.
But it can take upto 6 weeks to get your AF back. Mine took from 4 to 8 weeks but I found the further along I was the longer it took for AF to come back. As long as you get a negative after 3weeks it shouldn't take to long

@Kayjay2018 I might have to give that a try. I'd stand on my head and snort garden peas through a straw if I thought it would help x

@Avocuddles @MrsH497 my period was about a week later than normal after all my miscarriages it was around 5 weeks. I think I was told go to gp after 6 weeks but for some women it can take up to 12 weeks.

Advice on aspirin is mixed I have had two different consultants for RMC both Tommy's both different views one yes from bfp and one says not until 8 weeks despite having an aps diagnosis heparin only until then. I think aspirin can impact the lining and cause the egg not to implant early on. Like all mc advice seems to vary person to person x

@Lilimum7 I had a negative about 2 weeks ago and bleeding stopped after about 4 days but was never heavy

@Lilimum7 I'm hoping that reflexology lady will move that more into the fertility space this time now I have actually ovulated and had real af. I think I will have closer together sessions for a while (we both had holidays so it's been about 3 weeks).

I too would do anything, though have to accept that try as I may it might not happen, i am blessed with a Hormonal 15 year old son, awesome DH and two dogs (one is only 13 months and my baby substitute).

@MrsH497 it's a stressful time isn't it! I tested negative last week then started bleeding again yesterday including passing a large clot. Touch wood it seems to have stopped again (though still light spotting), I rang the EPU when I was bleeding and they just said to test again on Thursday (in spite of the negative!) which will be three weeks after the mc. My cycles were c6 weeks prior to falling pregnant so I'm not expecting things to return to 'normal' any time soon unfortunately....

Thinking about it it must be 20 years since I had what you might describe as a 'real' AF - I never realised how desperate I would be to experience those teenage style periods again!

@Avocuddles it's so hard. I just want to feel normal again know when I'm "late" when I'm ovulating it's all too unpredictable at the moment! Can't work out if I feel pre AF at the moment, then I try and remember how I felt before I knew I was pregnant and compare to how I feel now 🙄😩

@fnej01 I'd second everything you said about acupuncture. Like you're describing mine too. So far today no more bleeding but I've had an episode of really raised heart rate.

@AliceRR I've never tried reiki but heard good things.

@Lilimum7 you have been so good to the ladies here too. I'm sure others will join me in thanking you for being so supportive. Interesting advice about stopping coQ10 once you get BFP. I wonder if it helps men and their swimmers. What techniques do you use to help with the anxiety?