TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Lilimum7]

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Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

@Avocuddles it could be AF or it could be ovulation bleeding?
Hope you're okay

Hi, I posted a few weeks ago and not been around much since, congrats to those with bfps, I hope they are sticky ones. Sorry for any newcomers to the thread, it's awe full that anyone has to suffer a pregnancy loss.

I'm after a bit of advice. I'm 38, hubby 52, had a natural mc at 7 weeks back in mid April. Been ttc since last August when we got married. No hint of a bfp other than the baby I lost. Had two periods now since mc, first one no ovulation, second one confirmed OV with opks and bbt charts. I came on AF today, luteal phase only 11 days (prior to this 12 days was my earliest and 13 days the norm). I've been taking pregnacare conception since mc. We DTD bang on the correct times and not even a hint of a bfp.

Can anyone recommend anything else I can try? I have ordered some proceive max which will be ready to collect in boots tomorrow and have my second reflexology on weds. I temp and use opks and this month recorded heart rate, does anyone else have any suggestions as I'm willing to try almost anything? I think I'm fairly healthy and not on any other medications

Off to drs on Wednesday to discuss testing for lupus as there is a mc link, my mum has lupus SLE and there is thought it could be hereditary so I want a blood test to rule that out!

@indreamland agree with the others, try not to test, i don’t think it’s helping with your anxiety. Perhaps it might be an idea to call up your doctor’s and have a chat with them, they may offer a blood test. Tentative congratulations!
@tinypaws I’m also not pregnant and have been here for over a year. It’s such a long journey with so many hurdles. The clinic admin sounds like it’s not helping at all- did you change clinics in the end? Do you have a timeline for the next transfer?
@fnej01 @strawberrye I have my appointment with Dr Shehata next month and from that the assisted conception unit will make a judgement if we should go ahead and do ivf. I feel ready for the ivf but don’t want to risk it if there are undiagnosed issues, hence the rmc. Hope you’re both feeling ok.
@alicerr I would count the first day of actual flow as the start of af, rather than spotting. It sounds like your body is still settling down but if it’s making you anxious do go and see your gp.
@avocuddles sometimes you can get a little bit of spotting post miscarriage, even after a negative test. Keep an eye on it but think it’s normal.

Well I don’t think I’ll get an opportunity this next cycle as I’ll be away during fertile week, such a shame. Wondering perhaps now there are so many pregnant ladies on this thread that you may want to start your own in Pregnancy (Pregnant after loss perhaps?). I love hearing your updates but perhaps it is hard for those who are struggling right now, and at the same time you may hold back your own anxiety because you don’t want to upset anyone? There did used to be a thread in Pregnancy but I can’t see it.

@Mistymeow @Treaclepie19 thanks for the reassurance. Spotting has now changed from very dark (mc type blood) to pink which makes me wonder if it's a light af on her way, though seems early only 17 days post MC? My cycles were 40+ days prior to conception so was expecting things to be similar now. It took 11 months (6 or 7 long cycles) to conceive, I'm assuming now I've managed to get pregnant naturally that I'll need to wait a while before I broach the nhs fertility treatment question again, but thinking once 6 months have passed my GP might be receptive to starting the referral again? I'll be 36 by then....

Ironically (or perhaps not?) I conceived the month that we stopped actively 'trying' as we were waiting for our first fertility clinic appointment. No ovulation tests, no legs in the again, just standard DTD. This makes me keen to try to avoid stress and just try to DTD every other day for the time being rather than obsessing about ovulation, which I don't think was good for my mental health. Though I'm sure after my first full period I'll be all over those OPKs!

@Mistymeow I like the idea of a 'graduates' thread. It's nice to hear positive stories but hearing about early pregnancy symptoms does unsurprisingly bring back some bad memories. I will be very glad to have this community off understanding and knowledgable ladies around me if I do ever conceive again though.

@strawberrye sorry things are so challenging for you but your experience at Coventry sounds really positive, so fingers crossed everything that they are suggesting will lead to your rainbow.

@Kayjay2018 What are the implications if you test positive for lupus SLE?

@Avocuddles if I'm honest I'm not too sure of the implications. My mum tried to have children for 7 years before she had me in 1981. She was diagnosed with lupus in the 90s and when the drs went through the history they advised that (I suppose because hpts were not as sophisticated then) she may have had very early losses that she thought were just long cycles.

I believe I have raynauds and have issues with the sun which could be indicators I'm at risk. I was tested in my teens and 20s and didn't have it (I had my son when I was 22). I think this miscarriage has made me question everything so thought I may as well get checked out in case I ever get pregnant again, I'd rather know if there is anything they/I can do.

@strawberrye - today is first day of cyclogest, so nothing really to report at the moment. Obvs its all glamour with the where and when of the cyclogest but needs must . Sounds like you are getting good care at Coventry, I found them really good there. They diagnosed my NK cells. I have a follow up call Prof Brosens there on Tuesday to discuss my second biopsy result (which was also high like the first) so am thinking that it won't change anything treatment wise and I will be going with the pred from BFP (plus heparin and aspirin) My main RMC is st Mary's (also Tommy's), that is where they diagnosed my APS. This was after I thought my local RMC had already covered everything, but the Tommy's units clearly do a wider range of tests than local. I was really shocked that I got a different diagnosis from the local RMC, so It might be worth preparing yourself. I found the whole appt very difficult to process and fortunately DH realised and made notes.

@mistymeow - it's good they are getting a clearance from RMC before moving to IVF at least you will know what you are dealing with. Is this your first appointment with Dr S? I plan to go to him privately if I have another couple of losses.

I have to say after 4 losses, both DH and I are pretty excited to be trying again, and ready to face whatever comes. Both RMC have been pretty clear with us it might be a numbers game... Clearly I am symptom spotting like a trouper though

When I miscarried before my first son we had a thread like this and a graduated thread. Those ladies were brilliant. Might be a good idea :)

@Avocuddles could be either way. I've been having some ovulation spotting a couple of months since our TFMR.
My doctor said each pregnancy can reset/change your cycle so anything is possible.

@Kayjay2018 definitely best to find out so you can take any appropriate measures, both in terms of helping the pregnancy and for your own health.

I have a history of blood clotting which is most likely hormone linked so I when I fell pregnant I was immediately referred to an consultant obstetrician / haematologist and started taking daily enoxaparin injections about a week before the MC. Next time round I'm to start taking them as soon as I get my BFP which I hope might make my body more likely to hold onto the bean, though only time will tell I guess. The consultant told me that without treatment my blood clot risk was 1 in 10 compared to less than 1 in 1000 for most pregnant women. These stats were a bit scary when I first heard them but I'll feel more prepared for those challenges if and when I get my rainbow.....

Hi ladies,

I was wondering about setting up a new thread for those who've had their BFP as I couldn't seem to find the old one which was set up. The recent posts have made up my mind.

Here's a link to the new thread. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3608075-The-Graduates-of-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-thread?watched=1
Please link to it when you start thread no.31 and hop on over yourselves as soon as you can!

It's really tough when you've been on this thread for a long time and feeling left behind. I joined the thread in April last year and felt like I'd never be one of the ones graduating. Please don't lose hope. I am rooting for all of you. I have absolutely everything crossed for you all; and especially the long-timers. Every month is a month closer to your rainbows. I shall be checking up on you regularly.

And for those of you who are newly pregnant, we all know how scary it is and that our pregnancies can't be taken for granted; I know the very act of leaving this thread might seem uncomfortable; but I think the others a right: that we need another safe space we can be totally honest about our anxieties on without worrying about hurting other people's feelings.

@Avocuddles i think most a lot of things nowadays can be managed with medicine as long as you can get a diagnosis. I'm sorry to hear about your mc, it's heartbreaking and soul destroying, I've found I feel like a failure and this is even impacting how I feel about myself at work. I'm lucky to have a hormonal 15year old son, my husband has no kids, the one we lost was his first and I had so many hopes for the future. I really hope you get your BFP soon and can get started on the medicine you need to have your rainbow baby.

Hi everyone, just popping by. I have been trying to keep up but had lots going on outside of ttc. Congratulations to all with bfps. Really hope I get to join the new graduate thread 🤞

I haven't been ttc this month as had my hsg. It was awful, it was completely triggering for me and the pain was so bad 😢 one of my tubes is fine, the other they aren't sure as the dye went in but they aren't sure it came out but due to my pain and discomfort they didn't want to continue. Still have the hysteroscopy to go in August, but after my recent experience I'm dreading it. Back to the fertility clinic in September.

We're off on holiday next week, desperately need the break.

Hope everyone is well xx

@kaykay2018 sorry I don’t know what to suggest except that maybe if tracking everything isn’t helping then how about (8; you’ve been TTC and tracking for a while) trying a cycle without tracking and just dye regularly?

@Mistymeow Yes it think you’re right. I was reading all sorts online today and one thing I read was that if it’s spotting just before af then it’s to be counted as af but I don’t think that’s right. I think I just need to calm down tbh 😬

@VenusStarr It’s good to hear from you but I’m sorry you’ve had a tough few weeks. Sounds like a good time for a holiday for you x

@AliceRR thank you! Tried not temping etc over Xmas with no luck. So went back to temping in January, got my BFP on my feb cycle. No one in the two world knows we are trying and google has so many suggestions of supplements etc that I get baffled by it all!

For info I had a day of spotting yesterday before af arrived today (and have had spotting before Af on several other occasions) I have the doctors on Wednesday so will ask if it's something I should be concerned about and post back on here

@Kayjay2018 sorry for the typos there, I meant dtd regularly and not track but see you’ve tried that before.

There’s so much cr*p in the Internet. I was reading all sorts about spotting earlier.

Would be interested to know what your dr says about spotting before af. I suspect it’s not a problem but it’s just different for me and I worry about everything right now. It is mostly likely for me that my cycle just hasn’t settled down yet x

Wow this thread moves so fast! Sorry I can't reply to lots of people, I really can't keep up. Got my fingers crossed for everyone who has had a bfp though - although I see what people mean about it being hard to read about, it does give me hope and I don't begrudge it so much to people who have been through this too!

Fw seems to be taking ages to come round this month, I don't want to wish time away but equally time needs to hurry up! Also taking raspberry leaf tea capsules this month. Anyone else used it? Since my first mc in January I've had constant milk cramping/stretching all through each month, which finally seems to have settled down since taking them. Don't know how long to take them for though as I know you shouldn't take them while pg.

Also wondering about taking baby aspirin - anyone else taking it without being told to? Not had any advice back through yet from my gynae referral.

@AliceRR autocorrect can be a minefield can't it? I remember in my younger days texting my mum that I was waiting for a bus, the message she got was that I was waiting for a cup!

My mc was in April at 7 weeks and my body in not totally back to normal, definitely shorter lp phase than my old normal cycles this month, plus I had loads of pg symptoms and obviously wasn't. My reflexologist thinks your body will settle down when it thinks you are ready to get pg. last month I didn't ovulate so part of me hopes what she says is true, so I can look back on my may cycle and see that whilst not successful, my body is getting there.

I will definitely ask the question of the dr (and reflexologist as she does fertility reflexology which is why I'm seeing her).

I think I may need to get some king of counselling to sort my head out a bit if the reflexology and reiki she does do not help.

Do you think it's worth me asking the dr for any other blood tests whilst I'm there? Given that I'm 38 and been trying for 9 months?

@Kayjay2018 thanks for your kind words. This was the first pregnancy for both of us, but we hope there will be another to come with a better outcome. Fingers crossed that we all make a move to the graduate thread sooner rather than later! x

@fnej01 I see him again on 26th June. You are totally right, as long as he gives me some answers I'm not too bothered. It is a very long way it took us 5 hours to get home when we went on Wednesday, but seeing him has given me some hope.

This thread does move so fast, but I do keep reading.

@TinyPaws I am also one who has been here a while and currently not pregnant, but I do have hope. Although I do feel like I'm in the minority because of how many MCs I have had, it's been 4 now. But hopefully we do all get our happy ending soon.

AF showed up properly yesterday 30 days since ERPC. Feel better that hopefully my cycles are ok. But won't be trying this month as I will ovulate before my results appointment with dr Shehata.

@AliceRR I have also been spotting a few days before AF and it has happened after my other MCs too, more so after my natural miscarriage. It's never happened to me before, so it probably is just our bodies 'regulating.'

@InDreamland I do think the FRER was darker today than Friday, keeping everything crossed for you.

@strawberrye thank you for asking about me x

Sadly I'm Cd1 now. Feeling totally down today I really think 2 years of ttc and 7 mc's is starting to get the better of me. I just feel like it's not going to happen for me. My next appointment will be 6th August it seems years away. It doesn't help when your surrounded by pregnant ladies either.
I can't help but feel jealous and a bit angry when I see people complaining about their kids doing there heads in and want to go over and give their heads a wobble, they have no idea how lucky they are.

@Lilimum7 I am so so sorry af has got you again. It really is the toughest journey, and I'm so sorry your appointment is so far away. I know we are lucky to have the nhs but it really does move so slowly and when every month counts it is so difficult to wait. Is your OH supportive and making you feel better tonight? Definitely agree about people complaining about their kids or, worse, how difficult being pregnant is when they are feeling tired or sick - what I wouldn't give to be feeling like that! Hope you are taking care of yourself.

@Navy123 I'm sure he would be if he was home, he's away in the lorry and has been for the last two days, hopefully he will be back in the morning. But then he'll sleep for 7 hours get up and be back in the lorry inside of 9 hours since he got out of it. I tell you bd if ovulation occurs is a rather rushed affair. Sometimes we get lucky and it falls on his days off but not very often 😂

Ladies. I'm sticking my toe into the new graduates thread but will 99.9% likely be back here in the next couple of days/ weeks once I've lost this one too. After DHs results on Tuesday it's highly unlikely we will not get past the first trimester or even first couple of weeks. So until we meet again (probably tomorrow as that's when AF is due) I wish you all the luck in the world for your BFPs to come. Thank you for all your support x

@Lilimum7 how frustrating! My DH has managed to be away for 4 out of 6 of my mcs, given that he hardly ever has to work away it is quite annoying how badly timed it is! That does sound really tough though having to go through everything alone so much of the time. Do you have other rl support?

@InDreamland In the nicest possible way I hope we don't see you back on here!

Good luck @InDreamland - hope the next time we see you is when we all hop over to join you x

I'm so sorry some of the pregnant ladies feel forced off this thread. I in no way intended anyone to feel that they are not welcome to post and I wish you all the best of luck with your pregnancies. I wanted to explain why I had been quiet as I feel this thread had mostly moved on to early pregnancy chat which I didn't want to interrupt with my same old boring TTC situation.