TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Lilimum7]

🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

@Navy123 it really depends on where the needles are and what time of the month it is. For me, I don't feel the needles in my belly but the ones in my legs and around my ankles can be a bit nippy, a bit like a sting from an insect. Tends to be worse late in my cycle too. I have found its just when they are going in, no issues with when they are in place

Hi everyone,
Thanks for your positive thoughts. I spent quite a lot of time on the phone this morning as wanted to avoid returning to the last EPU I went to (which is self-referral), but I need a referral for the other ones. So I have an emergency GP appointment in about an hour and I'm assuming they'll refer me on to an EPU either later today or tomorrow.

The EPU I went to for last mc was chaotic and understaffed, and the staff seemed relatively indifferent (no doubt linked to said understaffing). The ultrasound technician probed and clicked around for several minutes without saying a word and then, without warning, turned the screen toward me and my husband to show a large empty sac on the screen. My husband recalled afterwards that since the technician had given no indication that anything was wrong he was expecting to see a baby when the screen was turned toward us.

When I type it out like that it doesn't seem as unreasonable as it feels - but even a "Sorry, I can't see a viable pregnancy at the moment" would have been less shocking in that moment. I feel gross thinking about having to go back there into that same room, so I think I'm willing to wait an extra day to get into the hospital that requires a GP referral.

Hi @Navy123 I was on the June bus with you and I've decided to take a break from all the other TTC buses for the same reason - they just do not get it at all and I'm sick of seeing people getting knocked up after 1 or 2 cycles and it sticking.

I agree with yukka- push for referral to rmc and hopefully they will look after you a lot better. My GP won't do anything with me at the moment as it's "only" 2nd consecutive MC and only been trying since November. CD2... here we go again!

@Bluebelltulip My Mum is constantly taking about other babies. I know it’s cause that’s what’s on her mind, our baby who isn’t with us and she’s hoping for another grandchild soon, but I have come close to saying something. I think she’s a bit silly sometimes as it should occur to her I don’t want to hear about other people’s babies.

@InDreamland @Frillyfarmer People so clearly take for granted having healthy children. It’s annoying.

I can understand wanting a boy if, for example, you’ve had three girls, but I think people should be grateful for what they have. Having a child is such a blessing that not everyone gets to experience. There was a post on here a few weeks back of a woman so disappointed with her first child being a girl as she “always” wanted a boy (or the other way around)...

@coconutlatte44 has the spotting progressed/developed at all or not? Completely understandable that you would want to go somewhere else. Appreciate that they must see a ton of patients a day but a little tact and sensitivity in these situations makes the world of a difference. Hope you get the referral!

Hi @thelittlepeanut
I wouldn't say it has progressed really, I have had a little bit more today but not much at all. However, I'm definitely noticing more cramping - I've been cramping off and on for the last few weeks but this does feel a bit different. Very mild though, not enough to warrant paracetamol.

The GP was lovely and when I told her why I wanted to avoid the same EPU I had a few tears - and she did as well and said "you've made me cry!" Never had that experience before but seriously, what a difference some empathy makes. They are sending through the referral to a better EPU nearby and I should hear from them soon. She did say to try to stay optimistic as it could be nothing but obviously that's a bit of an ask right now 😬

I feel oddly composed today, a few tears here and there but I do feel I can handle whatever comes next.

Thanks @strawberrye that's good to know - especially that it doesn't hurt once they're in. Something to look in to!

@Frillyfarmer I agree, people don't get it on those at all, and I just spend the month getting cross with them all! I thought I recognised your name. Sorry your gp was useless as well - I hate it when someone says it's 'only' anything, that's not how it feels to us. Will go back to mine and push for rmc referral (if I can get an appointment, usually a 3 week wait!)

Thanks for the welcome. Ironically I started my Mumsnet life on the conception board years ago when trying for dc2. Never thought I'd be back on these boards, let alone on this thread. I have a new partner now and we desperately want a child together.

I'm pretty af has started. This is a relief as it means we can start trying again (if I can't still be pregnant)

Am following the acupuncture talk with interested.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts re acupuncture. @strawberrye I'm in the same frame of mind as you re giving it 6 months. We'd been trying TTC for a year and had just been referred to fertility treatment when I got my BFP. I'm going to give it six months to see if I conceive naturally (with a bit of acupuncture on the side...) then go back to the doctor to push for another referral. In the year since I came off the pill my cycles were very long and I never saw a positive ovulation test but fingers crossed this time!

@InDreamland my interview experience was exactly like yours other than that the interviewer didn't know my situation. The feedback I got was very strong and out of 15 candidates I was a clear second, though pipped at the post by someone effectively doing the same job already. I'd almost prefer that I'd been dreadful as a very close second hurts more given I was definitely not on my best form! x

Hello ladies,

How are you all. I confess I've not been keeping up with you all. If you would like we could all do a catch up summary of where we're all at right now.

I'm currently 5/6 dpo (dotted Cross hairs on FF) have no symptoms at all but my temps seem to be falling already. I'm giving temping a break after this cycle as I'm finding it way to stressful. I'm waiting for blood test results from RMC with another appointment 6th August.

Baby dust to you all

@Lilimum7 great idea!

I am currently 3 weeks post ERPC of my fourth miscarriage since April 2018 when I had my implant removed. NHS tests have showed nothing, currently awaiting fetal tissue testing and visiting Dr Shehata next Wednesday. Really want my tests to show high NK cells over anything else. Terrified of one of us having chromosome abnormalities that keeps me awake at night.

Showed you all my test post ERPC and couldn't help but test again today and feel it could be darker. But I know I'm being ridiculous.

@Lilimum7 I bet August feels like ages away. Do you know what tests you had done?

Sorry I pressed send too soon.

Also sending baby dust to you all xx

@Navy123 it doesn't hirt at all, just feel a little scratch when the needles go in but not painful. It's not cheap, my sessions are £60 an hour

@AliceRR I agree that if people have kids they should be so grateful they've actually got them rather than be disappointed they're not the gender they wanted or born at the wrong time of the school year. Makes my blood boil.

Update from me:
Currently 2 or 3 DPO. Got next acupuncture session on Saturday (3rd one ever but first for this cycle). Really pissed off today, no I don't want to see or interact with the pregnant women in the office, I've lost 2 in the past 10 months so it's the last thing I need shoved down my throat and rubbed in my face. They're all over the tubes too. I can't f'ing escape them.

@Pop1234 do you still have both tests if so post a pic of them together.

As for my tests I had as far as I can tell, every test under the sun except NK cells and chromosomes tests. Just I'm a bit worried if I do fall before August and there's something wrong I'll be headed for mc #8 although I've been told to take asprin and progesterone on bfp. But I'm doing progesterone cream now just incase.

@ InDreamland I totally get it about the bumps and babies everywhere. There's a lady by me who keeps getting pregnant and the social takes the babies into care because she is a terrible mum. She likes being pregnant and the first year of the babies life then get bored and wants a new one it's awful. She must have about 10 by now it sends my blood pressure off the scale and turns my blood to steam.

@Pop1234 keep an eye on that - I had retained products and mine went darker, HCG rose again in bloodwork and my GP convinced me it was another new pregnancy and got my hopes up. Ended up passing it naturally but it was such a headfuck.

@Lilimum7 glad you're ok and I think it's a good idea to stop temping- I'm so much more relaxed since I let it go.

My update summary-

29years old
TTC#2, DC 20months
2 MC Jan 6wk and May 5+3 currently CD2 on first cycle since MC

I'm going to get completely TMI now - my periods of late have been gloopy, I won't have anything in a pad and then when I go to the loo it's like one continual thick, gloopy string with no clots at all. I don't know whether it's post MC or just my periods since childbirth as I BF pretty much upto my first BFP - does that sound odd? It's a healthy colour and flow compared to how my periods always have been, but the gloopyness is new!

@Lilimum7 that would make my blood boil. Women like her should be sterilised. Those poor children. Hopefully tests will give you answers, it's so frustrating isn't it not having an answer to fix it.

@Frillyfarmer that sounds like it could be the mc causing it but can't be sure it is that. I know mine after both mc's have been different to what they normally were and certainly the first couple after mc#1 were more clotty.

@coconutlatte44 fx that the lack of progression in the spotting means it's nothing serious! Keep us posted hun - you can get through anything ✨

@InDreamland nothing worse than pregnant women on the tube. They're everywhere. Every time one gets on I think 'that could've been me'. Literally every single time. It's depressing.

@Lilimum7 That woman sounds awful. People like her shouldn't be allowed to procreate..

@InDreamland I'm with you on the pregnant ladies and babies. It really does suck.

@Lilimum7 I will post a picture of the tests. Let me know what you think.

As for the tests I know it is difficult with the nhs as I know they can be great, but the time it takes them to get the results and get you in to see them is a lifetime. But I'm glad they have done a whole range of tests for you, they were pants with me. My GP has done more than they did.

Did they offer you the chromosomes test?This is one I really wished they'd done. But they took the blood from both of us and turns out they don't do that as a standard test at my hospital anymore so it never got tested. I'm so paranoid about it being the issue.

@Frillyfarmer I remember when this happened to you, and how shit it was. I'm not 100% convinced it's getting darker, could just be "off my head" as DH says 🤦🏼‍♀️

Hi everyone

Just want to have a little rant as i'm feeling a bit down today.
Its exactly 6 weeks since my ERPC. I haven't ovulated or had a period since. Had blood tests on Monday and was told hormone levels were at 8. Last week I had 4 random days of brown spotting and I keep getting little throbbing pains in my lower abdomen. EPU don't think it's anything to worry about.

I'm just so fed up. I feel like my cycle is never going to get back to normal. I'm 38 and have no children and I can't help but think this is never going to happen for me. This is my second miscarriage. Today 2 people I know who are nearing the end of their healthy pregnancies posted long social media posts about how crap they feel being pregnant. I know their feelings are valid, but it just makes me feel like shit reading that stuff. I would give anything to be in their shoes right now.

Thanks @thelittlepeanut. Have an appointment at a new EPU in the morning. Don't feel optimistic as I've had hardly any symptoms (not even sore boobs or tiredness) this pregnancy. I know that doesn't necessarily rule me out but it makes me feel much less positive about my chances.

I'm in a weird place - I don't really know what I feel. On one hand I feel like I can cope with bad news and on the other hand I feel like another loss will throw me totally off balance and I will struggle to recover. Maybe it will be a mix of both.

@thelittlepeanut that's exactly what I think too. It's killing me inside. I actually feel sick everytime I see a pregnant woman.

@bee222 sorry you're having a hard day. I found myself totally coming off Facebook since mc#1. Literally the only time I've been on since mc#1 was to post my wave of light photo. I've not been on at all since mc#2. I can't cope with everyone else's happy pregnancy and baby news. Can you stop going on for a while?

@coconutlatte44 fx is good news for you.

@indreamland I'm trying to limit it, but unfortunately I need to use it a lot for work. I definitely feel better when i'm not using it though

@bee222 can you unfollow certain friends then to avoid seeing their posts in your newsfeed?

@Pop1234 I'm not sure if it's darker, maybe as gp for hcg numbers to make sure they are going down.

As for the tests, they said they would test chromosomes if I have another loss so basically if I get a bfp and start to lose they will recover the remains and test them. But they will not test us.
@bee222 sorry you are feeling low hun. My 6th mc (mmc) really did a number on my cycles it took a good 2 months to go right. Just be kind to yourself. Your body just needs time hun x

@Lilimum7 I think I will if it's still the same next week.

They said the same to me about testing the tissue, don't think they offer the parental karyotyping as much now do they.