TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Lilimum7]

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Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

@AliceRR that's why I prefer DTD in the evening so that I'm lying down for hours after (asleep) ......rather than in the morning when I have to get up early so never can lie down for 20 mins after. At least it's not uncommon to leak some of the fluid.

@Codlingmoth sorry for all your losses. Fx you can get some answers now.

@hayleyfx great scan news! Fx for a healthy sticky bean.

@thelittlepeanut I reckon its a little too soon to tell as I've only had 2 sessions but they are relaxing. The last 2 ov's though have been a day earlier than normal, no idea if that is the acupuncture or something else. Also this cycle just before ov I'm sure I had extra EWCM, sorry if TMI but had a massive blob of EWCM come out of me, don't normally get that much! Are you trying acupuncture?

@Bluebelltulip please do join in the baby bomb moan, I'm sick of it unless I know they have had a super hard time like we have.

Really irritated seeing that thread about timing TTC with the school year in mind so the kid is oldest in the year. I had to post something. People should only want to aim for a healthy full term live birth. That's the only important thing IMHO.

@InDreamland it's honestly just ignorant bliss - I can't read shit like that anymore because it gives me rage.

My DS is a September baby and my bus is full of smug mums who actually timed conception for then. And my friend (THAT friend) couldn't believe I would try in March because "who wants a Christmas baby". I'm flawed anyone gives that much of a shit but it's an ignorant bliss none of us on this thread will ever be able to enjoy.

My DH tried to console me after MC2 by suggesting perhaps my MCs were boys and it's fate bringing me a girl as we already have a little boy. I know he was trying to help but I just wanted to poke him in the eye. Surely after being with me a decade and living this with me, he knows I don't care what sex it would be.

@InDreamland I completely agree! I've been back in work for 2 days since my MC, a couple of people know but the majority don't and the number of unintentionally insensitive comments that I'm hearing is crazy. I've been blocking them out for months after struggling to conceive but there seem to be more than ever now, be it a colleague just back from paternity leave moaning about things, or another one who is soon to be married smugly talking about his perfectly timed conception plans with the wife to be. I hope none of these people ever have to feel the pain that we're going through but also wish they could have a little more tact!

@indreamland saw the thread and skipped past it, knew it would annoy me. Loads of people asked me at work if ive timed this pregnancy with our financial year to maximise the time off and holidays....ffs

@InDreamland I haven't started yet but trying to get booked in for my first appointment in the next couple of weeks. Will let you know how I get on once my first session is booked! Did they tell you how many sessions you should do? Interesting changes - and extra ewcm is always a good thing! Also glad to hear they're relaxing - definitely need more of that in my life atm!

Imagine not wanting a xmas baby or an august baby! 🤯

That's exactly it ladies, totally ignorant and quite clearly have given no thought at all to how hard possibly TTC can be. Probably hasn't even considered that two lines doesn't always equal baby to bring home from the hospital. Agree to on the gender thing, why on earth would people be disappointed with wrong gender? Every life I'd precious no matter what gender they are. Makes me so mad.

@Avocuddles @Yukka WTF! I don't think I'd be able to hold my tongue if I had colleagues like yours.

@thelittlepeanut hope it helps both of us with conceiving and having a healthy pregnancy. I do hope the EWCM is a positive thing. I should've had a sob at the weekend but I was away so but gutted I missed that chance at it'd have been timed perfectly for ov. I needed the break away though. So this will be for implantation if we're lucky enough to have had fertilisation take place. Should be 4 or 5 DPO when I have the session this weekend. She didn't say how many sessions I need, just that for some it takes a free months, others will take longer. Generally it's one session per week with the exception during AF as she won't/can't do it when AF is on.

Yeh - I replied to that thread in the most tactful way that I could, but all I was thinking was "why the feck does it really matter" but I'm feeling a bit bitter about my recent MC at the mo.

I had been having a go with Ovulation sticks for the past week but i haven't had the faintest hint of a 2nd line but have had some ewcm yesterday and today. I haven't got a clue where it's at.

What the last poster said about "two lines on a test doesn't mean you get a baby" really hit home. I haven't been able to stop looking at my photos of blazing positives from just 3 weeks ago. It's like I'm clinging on to the only evidence I have of that pregnancy existing.... I guess it's part of grieving...

@pinkoi I do the exact same. I had my BFP
4 weeks ago and have a photo of 3 tests with lovely strong lines in my phone that I can't resist looking at in spite of a MC a week ago at approximately 7 weeks.

Each time I think that I'm feeling a little better I take a bigger step backwards. Found out yesterday that I didn't get a job I'd applied for at work. The interview was at 9am on my first day back in so no way was I on peak form, I'm not in reality that bothered about the role but it felt like a major blow as I know that I would have aced it in normal circumstances. The interviewing manager didn't know what has happened although my line manager does, and I had a (probably long overdue) major meltdown in front of her yesterday afternoon. I feel so angry at myself for letting myself feel and act this way, I just long for a day where I feel the slightest bit normal! DH is brilliant but it can't be easy on him either (especially when his brother and sister in law, who know what we've been through, keep spamming us with what's app photos of their 1 year old DS on holiday in Ibiza....!)

@InDreamland @thelittlepeanut I've booked an initial acupuncture session in a few weeks time. Let me know how you get on with it, I've heard positive things from friends who swear that it gave them their babies but I can't help feeling slightly sceptical....

Could I please join you ladies? Not that I really want to if you know what I mean!

Ttc number 2 - had 3 mcs before DS and have had another 3 since. Thought this month might be the one but bfn on a frer at 16dpo and af due definitely suggests otherwise.

Have been on the different buses each month but finding them much too difficult now with people getting pg straight away or disappointed that af has arrived their first month of trying.

I've been following this thread for a while and you all seem like such lovely people, I hope you all get a bfp soon!

@Avocuddles
This sounds a lot like me. I thought I was OK at the time, but as the weeks have wound on (only 3 weeks since it happens) 6w pg I see to be feeling worse not better and I still feel so tired and drained.

I'm sorry to hear you didn't do as you had hoped in the interview, be kind to yourself, you can't just pretend that nothing has happened. I feel like our brains are processing what has happened slowly in the background all the time. I made a mistake at work yesterday, nothing serious but I'm kicking myself now when I shouldn't.

It has made me think about how in the past women have been expected to suffer pg loss in silence, mostly for the benefit of the comfort of others and it makes you feel invisible and isolated and means none of us have a frame of reference for how long the physical and emotional process can take..

@avocuddles..I’ll swear by acupuncture. After third mc, cycles were up the wall for 6 months, went to acupuncture, next month was normal, bang on time with ecwm matching opks, the month after that I fell pregnant. Just about to reach 32w pregnant on Sunday. I do have a condition that causes mc, but the treatment for that had nothing to do with cycles and mostly started after I got the bfp, it was acupuncture that got my body back to normal to conceive again. Go for it x

@navy123 sorry to see you here and read of your losses. Have you ever been for testing at all? X

Thanks @Yukka. I saw the gp a couple of weeks ago who said he would write to gynaecology (in a week or so 🙄) and ask what blood tests they would recommend and get me seen by then hopefully after the blood tests are in. He was vaguely helpful but the earliest they would see me is September and it sounds like he didn't know what blood tests to do without their advice. Don't know whether to go back with a list or not!

@InDreamland @Avocuddles I'm definitely sceptical as well - but I've honestly heard so much positive feedback (both in person and online) that I just can't ignore it! I'm obviously not assuming it's going to make me fall pregnant straight away (although that would be nice lol), but if it can alter little nuances in my body that will help this process then that's all we can ask for really!

@Avocuddles with you on the meltdown at work front! Don't beat yourself up about it - you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings - and not getting a job is always a disappointment (no matter how good or bad you think the interview went)!

My company has recently been acquired by another bigger one and my job is at at high risk of redundancy due to duplication. Had an interview a few weeks back for a job in a different company which I didn't get, and think I find out today what's going to happen with my current job. I think it all got a bit too much last night and I had what I can only assume was a panic attack in the middle of the night. Haven't slept a wink. As if the stress of ttc isn't enough on its own!

@Pinkoi @Avocuddles I still do the same too. Got a pic of 3 BFP FRERs from pregnancy #2 that I took when AF was late which is my only proof baby #2 ever existed. Pregnancy #1 I didn't take pix of all the tests I took because I never thought to, plus I had booking appointment and all the pre-12 week scan tests and then EPU confirmed I was pregnant just before mc#1. It sucks.

@Avocuddles similar happened to me, had interview for promotion literally a week after I returned to work after mc#1 and I was a total wreck still, some people thought I shouldn't have been at work because I was still a mess. They knew about the mc, the feedback wasn't even that bad, obviously didn't get it but I know if I had been on form with a clear head I'd have aced it. I've heard so many people also swear by acupuncture so I'm pinning hopes on it although if I'm not pregnant my due date of #2 which is also anniversary of day I passed #1 I know I'll be devastated.

@Navy123 sorry for your losses, you'll find the ladies here really supportive.

I did accupuncture when I'd been off the pill for 6 months (1 year ago on Saturday 😢) @thelittlepeanut, it did help my flow but my cycles had already regulated. I did enjoy going but I was spending £80 a month so stopped after 6 months as I wasn't getting pregnant. It's definitely worth trying as you never know, it might help you.

I've been considering reflexology. Might start that once I've had all my fertility tests done and seen the consultant in September.

Got my hsg next week, has anyone had that? Bit apprehensive about it.

Sorry you're joining the group @Navy123, welcome

@navy123 they should deff be referring you to the local recurrent miscarriage clinic, and they would be managing what tests to do after having a consultation with you. It can depend on the how’s and when’s of your mcs and there are some basic it tests to be done regardless. The GP should to some degree step away and put you into the RMC care pathway. Perhaps speak to him again, or a different dr if you have a choice. It can take time to be seen but it’s worth having he appointment booked whilst you ttc x

@avocuddles @thelittlepeanut I have heard lots of positive things about acupuncture, however I'm starting to wonder if only the people with positive results tend to write about it and hence skewing what you read. I've been having it for 3-4 months now and haven't really noticed much difference with my cycle and no BFP either. At £40 per session most weeks the money is starting to add up and I am wondering whether it would be better spent on a private consultation to be honest. Or even just going for massages regularly as I find them more relaxing than acupuncture. I'm planning on giving it 6 months in total and then stopping if no BFP.

@VenusStarr @strawberrye @Avocuddles yeah the sessions are expensive so we'll see - I think 6 months is a good timeframe. Will keep you all updated on how I get on.

Thanks @Yukka that's good to know - he didn't mention a rmc so I will go back and push for that instead. They're all quite early mcs so I was glad he did take it vaguely seriously as I know others have been dismissed in a similar situation.

To those having acupuncture - it's something I was looking in to but does it hurt?! I am an utter wimp with needles, pain etc but also I'm willing to try anything at the minute!