TTC 1st Baby - Thread 17!

[MrsEG]

Hi everyone! I’ve started a new thread as we are dangerously close to 1000 posts in the last one! I’ll add a link to it now :) Here’s hoping it’s a lucky one!

@PaintingOwls hahah I had similar experience with Preseed. Instead of making things easier it made it harder for DH. Now it's just sitting in my bedside cabinet gathering dust lols.

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I've been quiet, my Grandad passed last week (not sure if I mentioned) and my mum had emergency surgery so all my time has been swallowed up!!

9dpo today, and had an evap on a test. They're normal 1 step tests that are meant to be used after your missed period (didn't realise they were not early tests, oops!!). I've done a few this week as I've had some weird symptoms.

4/5dpo I had intense "pinching" type cramps a few times, and over the weekend had noticeable period pains. I woke up on Monday at 5am and was sick (!) and felt really hot and nauseous. Tested Monday and yesterday, 5 tests yikes, all completely blank negatives.

Woke up this morning and tested (it's actually just routine now after months of opk's lol) and nothing came up within the first minute (takes 5 minutes for result) I set it down and started getting ready for my day, and totally forgot about it! Came back 30mins later to a faint line. It's definitely pink, my camera hardly picks it up as I have the skin blur thing on for selfies (f*ck my vanity hahaha) and I don't know how to switch it off. So disheartening though, I saw a second like and was like OH MY GOSH and then realised I'd left it for too long and it was almost certainly an evap. Kicking myself!

Have attached a pic of my cruel evap for those of you with science grade phone/computer screens. Also apologies for my bedsheet, I thought this whole cream/taupe colourscheme would be great, got brushed cotton sheets, super soft for 1 night, 2 nights later and it's a bobbly mess haha. Thanks B&M lmao

@honeylove congratulations - how exciting! Wishing you a happy 9 months.

@Tashdreams I don't know why there is the difference, it doesn't make an awful lot of sense to me! One of the reason I've given up with OPKs is that I hated having to worry about not drinking / weeing in the afternoon and it made it feel a bit obsessive?! So I guess that is another advantage of going down the CB route, you can get it over and done with first thing + you get a clearer response (i.e. a smiley face rather than trying to interpret the lines of an OPK test). I hope that's helpful!

@Dollywilde no problem at all - I am just fully on board the temping bandwagon after only starting this cycle haha! That's exactly what I'm doing it for, just to confirm I do ovulate. Also I totally hear you on the head messing stuff, TTC does an absolutely excellent job of that. I won't patronise you with any advice, because I honestly think we all have to work through it on our own and draw our own conclusions, but I will say that having some distractions (in my case house renos, planning fun activities, good books and podcasts, plus yoga and walking the dog) from it has been an absolute life saver for me.

@ELW85 @LokiCat thanks, a date night was just what I needed and cheered me right up. Also ended rather well aubergine emoji .

@ELW85 So glad you're feeling great after the gym - I cannot wait to start exercising again after a criminally long break. I neeeeed those endorphins!! Also I'm not an expert, but I reckon if your surge was on the 13th, I'd count 14th as 1DPO and today as 2DPO.

@DayDreamer1707 good luck for the FRER test! Fingers crossed for you.

@1990shopefulftm sorry to hear that. Hope AF arrives shortly and you have a few nice things planned to take your mind off of it.

@PaintingOwls oh lordy I'm so nervous about trying preseed out - it seems like everyone hates it! Sorry to head about work clashing with fertile days, total definition of sods law. There's a pretty good chance I'll be away for mine too. I'm not totally gutted though, as that means the next 3 months of TTC will result in a spring baby and that is 10000% the best time of year for a birthday imho .

@Mirana so sorry to hear about your grandad, and then your mum's emergency surgery. What a horrid time for you, I hope you're holding up OK? If you're only 9dpo it's really still a bit early to test (I know it's hard not to!) so it doesn't mean you're out. Try and leave it until 12 -14dpo and you'll get a much clearer result (so hard I know.)

So I have had a bit of a realisation - I think I might have a short LP of 10 days. I am not 100% sure, so I'm hoping to confirm with temping this month. While it's annoying in one respect, I feel oddly uplifted by it as at least if it is that, there's a reason it's been 9 months and not a hint of anything.

Plus there are practical steps I can take to try and lengthen it. I've had a quick read around and looks like a vit B complex can help lengthen it. It also seems that agnus castus and soy isoflavones can help, but there are reports of these messing up cycles so I'd be very wary of trying them. Hopefully I'll confirm this cycle and then chat it through with my acupuncturist and see what she reckons. Does anyone on here know anything more about short LPs and how to lengthen them?

@Lozzlepop - no worries! I do both OPKs and temp and had a minor temp rise yesterday so I might count today as day 1.5 past O, haha!

@purplefig Thanks for the kind words :)

Congrats to anyone who got their BFP!!! Got everything crossed for you all this month, will catch up on the thread properly later, over to my Mums now for more nurse duties!! Will try to catch up properly tonight :) x

@Purplefig - thanks for the response, let’s go with today as 2DPO :)

And I’m so pleased you had a good date night and dessert, haha!

@ELW85 no problem at all. 1.5 - 2DPO sounds good to me!!

Thanks @purplefig Think temping sounds like a good idea as I’m finding the not drinking before an OPK thing rather stressful, plus they’re a nightmare to do at work! Half tempted to order the thermometer now so that Sod’s law can come into action and it’ll make me more likely to catch this month!

I think I do need to chill out a bit, DH was out with friends last night and couldn’t perform when he got in, then it happened again this morning. Not common for him so I do wonder if we’re putting a bit too much pressure on ourselves. While the OPKs are still showing nada, my Flo app reckons I’m ovulating today so the fact we haven’t managed to dtd since Sunday is a pain. I may have had a little sob of frustration after he left for work...

Going to try and do it tonight I think, but after last night and this morning I don’t think either of us are really keen :-/

Fantastic news @honeylove!

Sorry to hear about your news @Mirana

@PaintingOwls annoying that your time apart falls over fertile days. Hopefully the swimmers stick around.

@Dollywilde Be kind to yourself. TTC is way more stressful than I ever imagined. It's so hard to relax - like someone saying 'draw a blue chicken, but make sure you don't think about it as you draw'

@Dollywilde try and be kind to yourself and if you feel like you need a cry, let it out. It'll only fester otherwise. Re: ovulation, I honestly wouldn't trust the app - it's a vague guess at best. Your OPK will be much more reliable, and then next month will be even better with temping (of course, you might already have your BFP by then!). And re: Husbands/partners struggling to perform is a pretty recurrent theme on this thread, I know some ladies don't tell their husband when they're ovulating as that adds an extra layer of pressure that they could do without. As for us? We have notes on our shared calendar so we're both fully informed - works for us! Ultimately, you need to work out what works for you too.

Hi all, just managed to catch up on thread.

I'm awaiting Ov, at high fertility currently.

This is a crazy journey and distractions are definitely needed. My sister made me feel awful last night - she had nothing but good intentions but she was saying how much she wanted it to happen for me and how we should have sex every day regardless of Ov and blah blah. It just made me feel shitty n even more pressured. So for anyone wondering, I would personally hold off on the telling ppl you're ttc. Their advice n not being able to understand actual 'trying' can be painful even if they don't mean it.

Also a note on pre seed it should only be used if sex would be uncomfy without it. Although it's safe for sperm nothing is as good as ahem natural fluids. Also, I do use it when we need to but I don't insert with syringe as it's a bit much. But each to their own and definitely good to have in ure baby making kit but it's by no means a must have.

Lovely weather and happy hump day all

@dahlia123 love that blue chicken metaphor haha - 'do this but don't think about it'. Most common useless peice of ttc advice ever.

Also a note on pre seed it should only be used if sex would be uncomfy without it. Although it's safe for sperm nothing is as good as ahem natural fluids.

Oh my god I had NO IDEA.

Never using the bloody thing again!

🤣🤣🤣 love that about the pre seed, we have used conceive plus, but it's only used in the 'quick' ones to speed things up when we can't be bothered with the full sch-bang 😂 how romantic!

@orangeloo sorry to hear that, I haven't told many people only a few friends... but yeh I don't want the whole conversations either of, Ohhh you should be doing this, or try this etc... makes it awkward. That's why I love this idea, get such good info and crack, and we are all after the same result 😊

purplefig

I'm not totally gutted though, as that means the next 3 months of TTC will result in a spring baby and that is 10000% the best time of year for a birthday imho.

I really wanted a summer baby, so spring is the next best thing. I'm torn between wanting to be pregnant asap and not wanting a winter baby

@orangeloo bloody hell, that's very insensitive of her. Think you hit the nail on the head: if you haven't been through it, it's pretty hard to understand. God knows I had't a clue a few months in!

@Lottiepink that's what I'm planning to use preseed for too

@PaintingOwls glad that helped  haha

@Lottiepink yes these lubes are100% useful for 'faster' romance lol

These threads are invaluable for likeminded ttc support and the knowledge and banter definitely helps me feel less alone

@purplefig thank you. yeah it was insensitive I wanted to tell her to shut up tbh with her four kids (who were pretty effortlessly conceived from what I gather). But I know she didn't mean it to be insensitive and as you say, I just had to remind myself she doesn't understand what truly ttc is. So yeah I wish she didn't know. Nevermind, at least my Mumsnet buds understand haha.

@orangeloo thanks for sharing nonetheless, I think I'll hold off telling my mum tbh. She is very well meaning and she'd never say anything intentionally hurtful, but I just don't want to manage another set of expectations (my own are enough to deal with tbh)!

@purplefig I guess the naive part of me thought the cheaper ones would do exactly the same job 🤷‍♀️

Yesterday's opk seemed on the rise but today's is smack bottom negative again, so I have no clue where I am, but at day 47 I've kinda given up for this month

@purplefig far easier sometimes 🤣 as were going in for a quick one I got the lube out dh was like it won't be needed, I'll be fine 😂😂 I was like, erm it's for me 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

@PaintingOwls hahaha snap! I always wanted a July/aug baby! Spring would also be lovely 🤣 to be honest, right now I just want one! Sooner the better!

I'm gonna speak to DH next few days and see how he feels about going to the doctors now we've gone over the 12 month mark.
I'm wondering tho now if I'm going to have to tel my mam?! What does everyone think? She will be so shocked to start with as she thinks I'm just putting off trying... little does she know!

@Lottiepink - if you're over 12 weeks I would definitely. everything takes so long to do e.g. book blood tests which need to be done certain times of the cycle, wait for letters for scans (like I am almost 2 weeks later) etc. then god knows when an appointment for a scan will be. Definitely get the ball rolling I say xx

We only really use preseed just as a tiny helping hand on quick days it feels horrid doesn't it!

And I have no idea why it's saying CD12 - I'm still learning with Glow, I've used Ovy up until this week!

@PaintingOwls yeah I must say, one upside to it taking forever is much more likely to have spring or summer baby.

@Tashdreams Well that's what I don't understand - they both pick up that specific hormone so no idea why the time different. Oh I do feel for you, 47 days is a really long time to be on one cycle.

@Lottiepink HAHAHAA love it! I was thinking about telling my mum (about the TTC thing, not the lube ) but after reading @orangeloo's post on the downside of telling people, I think I'm going to hold off a while longer. I think it comes down to your relationship with her, whether she'll be supportive and whether you'll feel like you've just got an extra set of expectations to manage (which may add more stress).

Another thing for us to obsess about: has anyone heard of this fertility smoothie?! www.babble.com/pregnancy/fertility-smoothie-lori-bregman/ I've decided I'm going to have it for breakfast next cycle (minus all the bee products). I've also ordered a copy of Taking charge of your fertility Book by Toni Weschler - has anyone read it?

Lottiepink

I'm wondering tho now if I'm going to have to tel my mam?!

Sorry, I laughed at this, imagining you getting your mum to give permission to go to the doctor or something ludicrous! I think it was the word "have" that set me off haha

In all seriousness, it really depends on your relationship with her and the kind of person she is. I would never, in a million years tell my mum that I was TTC, not least because she ORDERED me to have a baby when I was 22 so that I would stop drinking "so much". FTR, I am not an alcoholic, I was just going out at the weekend like any normal grad...

I stupidly told a friend at work that I was TTC and every time we cross paths her eyes flicker to my belly. I know she doesn't mean anything by it, but I still feel an additional internal pressure and feel self conscious about tight clothes after lunch.