Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...3!

[SparrowSG]

New thread for us 40+'s

@booseysMom....thanku for replying...i know i cant believe it....i just want to enjoy my summer break and not let this stress me out....how are u feeling?wat are ur plans now then? Ive got gynae appt in october....but i definitely would not go down the donor egg route....i think i will take pregacare etc whilst on holiday and you never know....i might get lucky i hope....i might give reflexology a try once im back....

I just feel so down at the moment..with the results today....😓😓😓😓

@Kimm123 I have no first hand experience, but when I went to have a fertility check, part of that included a counselling session so you could discuss your options, have you had a similar opportunity to do that? I also spoke with a nurse at the clinic separately and she gave good advice re: egg count. She said (like another poster said), it's not just about quantity, but quality. She told of an example where the egg count was very low for one lady, yet she managed to conceive 2 children naturally. Quality really does count. I have no experience of how to improve egg quality, but I'm going to book a consultation with Emma Cannon. I like the look of her approach, and she also helps with mindset, diet, exercise which does help. Take care.

Thank you @Chatbash72 , I'll let you know if I book a consultation and how it goes. Its worth a try! And yes her Instagram posts are very uplifting. :-)

@Kimm123 Was reading about amh levels the other day as when I had mine checked (2 1/2 years ago ; age 38) I was pretty high - apparently it's a bit of a crap test and there is no clear link between that and fertility, my intention of reading about it was to give me hope :(

I'm starting to think it might not be my eggs though and my OHs spunk.

@rubyroot is your OH taking any supplements? The Zita West Vitamen ones seem to have the most beneficial stuff in them for men x

Thanks for recommendations, getting him to take the bloody zinc is hard enough. Bloody men!

@rubyroot I originally had him on the wellmen conception ones but apparently they taste so vile that when I swapped to the (tasteless) Zita West ones he actually started taking them with no nagging from me 😂

Thanks @BooseysMom it’s a bit surreal but it feels better than I thought it would. I never planned to be starting my family in my 40s but I met DH very late after several failed relationships. I think there’s such a stigma about having babies after 40 too. Now I’m here I feel like I can do this. It’s taken a while after unfortunately having a mmc after my first attempt and then my Cp straight after but the future is looking less dark now! Xx

Thank you @BooseysMom and everyone else. Early days but thankful for some good news.

Sending hugs @Kimm123 like others have said, I hear it's about the quality of eggs rather than quantity - my amh was average for my age but I've still had 3 early losses and a cp.

It's hard I know but try to stay positive - I read a book about a lady who was told that there was no point even trying ivf...she eventually conceived naturally. I think the book is by Sandy Robertson 'you can get pregnant naturally over 40' or something like that worth a read even if just to help bring back some optimism. Maybe try a fertility coach? Xx

Hello all. Been catching up on the thread - congrats KarryK, that's a great milestone to reach! Rose68 - those due dates are tough..Kimm123, sorry to hear about your amh result, very hard to hear that and hope you can find an action plan that gives you hope. Lots of love and hellos to everyone else. I'm getting started on donor egg treatment and already have a match - a real surprise for that to happen so quickly. The problem is I can't get started straight away as need another month or so to fully settle after last mc. So the option I have is we could create frozen embryos now and use them when I'm ready. Or sit back and wait for another donor. Do any of you ladies who know about IVF have a view on which is better? Thanks x

Hi eloisa, thats grear that you have a match! I'd be tempted to create frozen and go from there. Have they advised on best option at the clinic? I only suggest that as I'd worry there may not be another for a while!
I've been thinking about the pissibility of DE recently. Not sure I can convince OH yet but just thinking it through as I feel I may be out of time with my own eggs now sadly.
How old are you and do you have any DC already? What's the process like with DE and how much do you think it costs for one round?
It appeals just because chanes are so much higher and takes the time pressure off a little.
What made you choose it in the end?

hi Cleozeta, yes I might go ahead....the clinic stats show better results from fresh but it's a tiny sample so may not mean much. I'm 46 and have one ds...wanting a sibling. DE involves the second half of IVF, from embryo transfer. Before you start you have a pelvic scan, your partner has semen analysis and you both have counselling for the legal and emotional side. my cycle will cost 7k and a second try with leftover frozen transfer 1200...I will try twice which should give good odds. Think I realised it was something I really wanted and it was our best chance. Will keep you posted. x

Thanks eloisa, sounds like a great choice. And not too expensive either. I thought it would be a lot more than normal IVF, but then I guess you don't have so many drugs etc.
2 rounds sounds like a great set up, the odds will be fantastic for you. Good luck!

Great news @karryk

Got smiley face yesterday and dtd yesterday and today. Hoping don't need to do tomorrow too as that's bd everyday for 7 days already! Poor dh!

If we don't conceive then it's not for lack of trying this month at least

Hope everyone else is well

@hmmm123 🤣🤣🤣 hubs was home today doing this quarter tax returns... hey who know tax could be so much fun 😘😘😘
I keep thinking of the line in father of the bride 2...
"It was just a moment of madness"
"Do you want to know who many moments of madness I've delivered"
Sending lots of baby dust and cheeky moments to you all.. keep the fun in trying xxx

@eloisa246 we also decided on DE, and it will be a frozen cycle as 1 embryo will be biopsied and GPS tested. We chose our donor last month and she will start the process in a week or so. We're doing it back home, at the same clinic where my DD was conceived, with IUI. ET will be then done next month when I start preparations for it. Right now I'm waiting to see if this cycle was naturally successful or AF is on its way. And I don't even know when AF is due as cycles are a bit out of whack after a MMC I had in May

This thread fell off Threads I’m on 🙈, just need to catch up. So AF arrived yesterday. Cycle length 27 days which is fab for me. HRT has lengthened my cycle by 4 days so I think the likelihood of conception has definitely been raised. I’m not convinced I have any decent eggs left now at 44, but you never know! Only takes one 😜

Kimm123..thanks for your msg. Good luck with the reflexology. I've heard good things about that and acupuncture. I honestly don't know what to do next. Tbh i have done very little ttc because of our circumstances and i have been too scared to try too often. As the years go by, i feel more and more wretched and hopeless atm i'm in what i presume is my fertile window so should be dtd now! I've managed once so far. I stopped telling people irl about us ttc as i just got a whole load of 'what the fcuk are you thinking at your age?!' (From adorable sil) Also i commonly get 'have you considered adoption?' Yes we have and no we can't!

@Catconfusion...i'm with you on the 40+ stigma (see above). Hope you get your bfp. At just 40 you are in my mind still young enough to do it! Good luck x

@eloisa246... Great to hear you have a match so soon! Good luck with your journey x

@Russkispy..Wishing you every success too x

@sheshootssheimplores.. sorry about AF. But yes you're right..only one good quality egg is needed!

@Booseysmom...if u dont mind me asking how old are u and have u got any children?
Sorry it just takes tooo long to go through the previous msgs...

Kimm.. don't worry, i don't mind telling seeing as we're all in this together! I'm 47 .. one of the oldest on here. There's one other the same age i think and the other I think left us not long back. I have a DS who is 5.5. I've been lucky in that he shows no interest in a sibling, however he does get bored and lonely and it's knackering trying to keep him entertained! Saying that he's the apple of our eye,.all the more special for being our only
Does your DS say anything about wanting a sibling?

@BooseysMom thank you! I was really optimistic before our mmc after our honeymoon and mc after that. They were the results of our first two attempts so not the nicest intro to pregnancy though feel lucky we caught straight away. I had hypermesis with the first one so very ill. I still think we’ll manage to have one DC but I’m sad there probably won’t be time for two. DH and I have only been together 16 months so we started trying as early as we could.

I too feel a little scared when we do try. I guess either way it’s terrifying: falling pregnant/not falling pregnant.

I don’t think you’re too old to try and I’ve heard of ladies getting a lovely surprise later on. A friend of a friend got some tummy pains on the tube on the way home from the theatre with her husband. They were so bad he took her to hospital. It turned out she was 6 months pregnant and didn’t know. The baby was premature but survived and the lady concerned was 52. They’d given up hope long ago of having their own kids so it was lovely. Just ignore the naysayers and give it a go if it’s what you and your partner want.

I really hope it happens for you! Xx

For those black ladies who are worried about it - I just wanted to say that I have received absolutely no judgement, sigma or negative comments off any kind from anyone (healthcare professionals or otherwise) about being pregnant at 40 and a new mum at 41. Indeed the midwives are completely used to seeing 40+ mums. My age was barely even mentioned throughout my pregnancy, with the exception of a couple of questions on the consultants checklists.

Sorry, don't know where the word black appeared from in that last post - silly autocorrect has added it!

I've had two peaks so far this cycle. I've just stopped testing at this point. No ovulation. Bbt is all over the place. Near constant ewcm for weeks now. I'm starting to think something bigger is going on.

Have an appointment end of the month with fertility clinic but based on my last appointment, they'll be zero help.

Just need to stop thinking I'll ever be a mom.