TTC for 1 year +

[FlapJackered]

Does anyone want to join?

I have been TTC #1 for 15 months and had a MC at 8 weeks in February.
I am off to the GP tomorrow to try and get a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist.
Tried every trick and tip and old wives tale in the book to get a bfp!
It would be good to have a group of longer term ttcers to chat to.

@Broodyaf I'm 40, it's still possible, even at 45. Don't panic. Have you considered going private for at least an IUI? It's nowhere near as expensive as ivf. November seems so far away.

@Broodyaf I keep having those feelings too! I actually feel like it's never going to happen for me I can't even imagine getting a BFP ever! We just have to fight through those feelings. My DH is so supportive but sometimes pisses me off he's like I worry to much it'll happen when it happens etc I just feel like punching him when he says that to me and I just feel so lonely too.

@KatBeCool yes I hope I get to the bottom of it soon! I'm going to wait till November time then push to be referred to the fertility clinic. I did actually have a look at IUI myself it doesn't seem as invasive as IVF either.

Thanks so much for getting back to me ladies.

@KatBeCool I have going back to GP to get an urgent referral into clinic where I'll be called within a month.

Even for an IUI that means setting up an initial apptment with a private GP which is a months waiting list - then she'll want to send me for more tests etc so it would be no quicker for this first bit

@Broodyaf no wonder people go abroad for things. That's too much waiting around. You'd think money would move things around quicker. I'm regretting not going to this clinic a year ago right from the beginning. I waited a year only to find out that I might not even be ovulating? Honestly, women should be tested for amh and FSH yearly, then they'll have an idea of their ovarian reserve or any problems. But then again, I didn't really want to have children with anyone but my DH whom I met only three years ago.

@Mrs71 IUI isn't invasive at all. My instructions fit on half a sheet of paper. The actual IUI can be uncomfortable as they clamp your cervix to get to the uterus but that's not that bad. They do that during HSG, or when they put in iud, if you ever experienced that.

@Broodyaf sorry you're feeling low. It is really hard to keep it together, I don't think a lot of people appreciate that at all. Not helped by the fact that no one talks about it in real life, so you feel you're the only person in the world going through this. Youre definitely not! Hopefully your GP can get you an urgent referral so you don't have to wait so long.

@Mrs71 I hate being told not to worry! My OH told me his mum had said to him she thinks that's why I'm not pregnant. That was painful. I feel like it's just a way of blaming us.

I'm midway through 2ww cycle 12 (or cycle 13 if you count our month off for the hycosy) and I seem to have lost the ability to sleep through the night. So now I'm wondering if it's a sign, as though I haven't had "signs" every month for 11 months that were just followed by AF. Like why do I do this to myself every month? I'm also stressed at work and worrying that's going to stop it happening. But I can't seem to help feeling that way!

@Mrs71 that sounds like the consultant really knows her stuff and will fully investigate which is great!

@KatBeCool I can't believe it is all happening so quickly for you!

@Broodyaf @MrsChicken89 it is so hard isn't it, it's the not knowing which I find the worst. I feel like pregnant people and babies are everywhere I look. I just can't get away from it.

@Broodyaf that is frustrating the referral takes so long, I would definitely put some pressure on your gp. If that doesn't work you could get the November appointment booked and then try and ring up regularly and see if you can get a cancellation.
Alternatively we went and had some tests done privately first while we waited and we hope that will save time when we got through the nhs.

@RosettaR You are not alone! Each month I kick myself as I have the same symptoms I have every cycle before af. Yet this month I am still wondering if they are pregnancy symptoms. 🤦🏼‍♀️

My mother in law has just sent me a link to an article on Facebook about how smart phones, laptops and WiFi etc can make you infertile. Fighting every urge not to block her!!!

@FlapJackered I can't believe it either. When I went in on Monday, they said to ring them on the first day of AF and then bam, af showed up on Wednesday, sonogram and bloods on Friday. Have you tested yet or still not going to?

@RosettaR I gave up on symptoms long ago. Told myself that if I am to have any, it'll be bloody obvious.

I have to agree, everywhere I go there are pregnant women and babies. What irritates me though are women who have usually three kids who are completely out of control, or where she's doing something completely awful like smoking into their faces, and think to myself "And SHE gets three kids while I got none".

@FlapJackered your mother in law sounds the worst. That's a terrible move! I have to be careful not to read things like that as I've found myself getting really anxious in the past.

@KatBeCool I didn't need to, AF arrived on Thursday as predicted! 👎🏻 I am ok though as I was sure it wouldn't happen this month.

@RosettaR tell me about it! I am so careful to not read articles like that so it really doesn't help!

@FlapJackered oh that bitch, well at least you didn't get teased with a chance when she's late. I'm going to start temping again, with all these new medications, I want to see the difference, especially if I wasn't ovulating before. What are your plans for this cycle?

@KatBeCool yes will be good to see if it makes any difference to your temps.
No plans this cycle, we are seeing the consultant on 20th so it will be good to see if DHs result is as bad as we think and if IVF is going to be suggested.

Thanks for your comments everyone 😊 We just received our "further info" letter nd actually what we have to do is that DH needs a sperm analysis again (his previous one was at a different hospital) and I need a Hycosy. From reading your comments on hycosies they sound pretty horrid!? Very grateful that they are following up so quickly though. Although got another letter from a different hospital giving me an appt for a pelvic exam, so hopefully at least one of these will give us some answers!!

@FlapJackered sorry AF has arrived for you 😥 I think mine is just round the corner too!

@RosettaR if another person tells me to "just relax, it'll happen"!!! 🤯🤯

@PineappleC hicosy is similar to HSG as far as things being barreled (best way to describe it) into your uterus. It may or may not be horrid (usually is) but, I guarantee you, you'll get through it. I haven't heard any stories of anyone walking out because it hurt too much. Are you having it done this coming cycle?

@PineappleC I found the thought of the hycosy much worse than how the actual thing felt. I would advise not researching it too much if it's not too late. The actual thing I found OK, it was relatively quick and it didn't hurt, it was just a bit uncomfortable. Some people find it more painful than I did but it really varies person to person.

@FlapJackered I can't believe your MIL sent that! 😤 id be raging!

Sorry you are feeling so crap @Broodyaf it's so hard isn't it.

I feel like giving up - but I won't! I had the dr on Friday and have been referred to the fertility clinic, just need to wait for an appointment to come through. Hopefully won't have to wait ages.
She has also given me a stronger dose or levothyroxine as my TSH (?) level is a bit low still. It's 2.5 tho, I don't expect reducing that a bit will help much? Any experts out there?!

@bunhead34 it won't hurt to get below 2.5 but I don't think it's at far off. At some point mine measured 2.1 and my gp who prescribed levothyroxine wasn't concerned. It also depends on when during your cycle it was measured, it's higher during the luteal phase. How much did they your dose?

@KatBeCool it's 50mg, I had 25mg before which got me down to 2.5 from 3.1

Hopefully it does something anyway!

@bunhead34 how long did it take you to get from 3.1 to 2.5? I was at 4.87 and within a month it got down to 1.6 on only 25mg. It is so interesting how differently people react to it.

@KatBeCool oh wow - it took me 3 months!!

Oh thank god it wasn't just me getting a bit down in the other thread about trying for so long compared to everyone else! Was struggling to feel happy for those who got pregnant first month, which is an awful way to feel and act happy/sad to see some familiar names here.

Been a year, and going to mostly copy+paste this from the other thread I just posted in before spotting this one, so sorry if you still post there:

So I'm now on cycle 14, CD 8, and AF really strung itself along this month, only just finishing yesterday! Also my cycles have gotten shorter to on average 26 days, with luteal phase still 11 days. Fertile week starting Weds so full steam ahead as usual

DH had his sperm sample test results back and it was very good in terms of numbers and mobility etc apparently, so that's really nice to hear smile At least can mostly focus on my problems in our fertility specialist appointment in 6-7 weeks time (man has it dragged waiting for this appointment!) and not have to really worry about him as well.

Been really struggling the last couple of months (hence have stated away from mumsnet and the other thread). I still symptom spot hopefully during the last week of my cycle, although given how long it's been now, it's really getting old. Been so withdrawn, sad, lacklustre and not myself this year, and I think it's all this is just taking a toll and making me not want to plan things or be able to get excited about anything at all sad keep finding myself saying things like 'oh well, if we can't/don't have kids we'll just do this when we're older' and things like that, which is obviously very defeatist...

And as a TMI recap of why I'm pretty sure I have issues already - I had my large intestine and rectum removed and anus sewn shut due to ulcerative colitis, and (after the surgery, not before!) was told it is likely to affect fertility due to scarring of tissue. And articles I have read since has supported this notion.
So this whole year, and even before it, has just been me already expecting to not get pregnant and waiting until it has been long enough for certain tests etc. Thankfully we're on the right track now, but it's been frustrating to say the least.

(again, sorry if i've mentioned this enough times before, and for those who are squeamish! just like to give a bit of background as to why i'm so defeatist...)

@MrsChicken89 - I had a 3 month wait for a fertility specialist appointment, after having the 21 day test, sperm sample test and ultrasound scan.

@starkid great to hear from you! Maybe not the sadness, but at least knowing you're ok and things are moving along with the fertility appointment. I get moments of depression and feeling defeated and not wanting to do anything so I totally understand. Don't worry that your cycles got shorter, as long as they're still regular and longer than 24 days. Did they find any scar tissue during your ultrasound? Hopefully having the surgery didn't affect you ttc you too much. But even if it did create some scare tissue, I'm sure they can remove it. Just the fact that your periods are regular is already a good sign. Once you get your fertility appointment, the things will start happening so fast, especially after all the tests.

Today is the first day that I have to do an injection. I'm yet to bring myself to do it.

@KatBeCool - ahh, be brave! I'm hoping it'll get easier the more you do it and the more confident you feel about your abilities (had to get others to do mine post-surgery when wasn't moving about much). Good luck!!!

Yes, I'm eternally grateful that with regards to my cycles/hormones, they seem to be pretty good (touch wood). Mind you, looking at the conversation above, I do need to ask about my TSH levels being 2.9 when I had my 21 day bloods done, as that may be something the fertility specialist might have more insight into than my GP who said it was fine.

In the ultrasound they saw liquid in/around my left ovary that needed looking at, and various dark masses which they said were common (I can't remember what they called them now, but they were unconcerned). But didn't mention anything else except that there was enough to be able to forward to a fertility specialist and perhaps have an MRI and/or HSG. They didn't mention scar tissue, not sure how they'd go about investigating that, which method would be best...?

I mean, it could still just be 'one of those things' or unexplained, or something completely different as to why it's taking its time happening. The scar tissue thing is just something I've been told and read time and time again, so am hoping to have that theory looked into firstly, even just to check it off like with the sperm sample.