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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Pregnancy test question // worries

37 replies

lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 10:18

Hi Everyone,
I'm new here.
I think I'm pregnant, Google says I'd be about 3 weeks and 3 days.
I feel so sick at my desk off and on, waves of nausea.
Can I buy any pregnancy test to see, or does it have to be a Clear Blue 6 day early one? My period is supposed to arrive on Saturday
However, I'd rather know sooner than later because my partner doesn't want children
I never thought I did, but now I don't know. Realistically I don't think it'd be a good idea, I don't have any family apart from a mother who I don't get on with very well [I don't think it'd be fair to bring a child into that sort of environment], I have a good job but finances are a mess currently, I still can't drive and still live at home.

My boyfriend doesn't like condoms and doesn't want me on the pill. He also ended up making a point of telling me that as long as he withdrew when it wasn't my ovulation date, that ejaculation would be fine.
Now he just does it anyway, sometimes without saying anything.
So I'm really worried.
Thanks Xx

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 30/04/2019 10:23

You can buy a first response early response test which may show up, especially if you're having symptoms.

With regards to your partner he clearly doesn't mind having children if he's happy to sleep with you unprotected. Why doesnt he want you taking the pill? It's not really his decision.

I don't want to make assumptions but how is your relationship in general?

Original poster
lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 10:28

Thanks for replying.

I'll go to the supermarket on my lunch and see what they have..

He is adamant that he doesn't want children, as he has one with a previous ex partner.

Our relationship is... well on our good days its really good days, on bad days not so much; his mental health isn't the best and it can affect mine too.

OP posts:
Dlah · 30/04/2019 10:31

"He just does it anyway",

Not my place to judge but this sentence right here worries me more than anything - along with "he doesn't want me on the pill" - well if neither of you wanted children that's not his choice to make.

I appreciate you may now be pregnant but I'd be seriously considering his behaviour in what happens next

VenusStarr · 30/04/2019 10:32

See what the test says, don't panic yet. Might be a good prompt to start a discussion with him about how to avoid in the future, if you're sure you don't want children?

If you're definite you don't want children yet and this is a false alarm then maybe consider your contraception options.

If you are pregnant, you have time to think about what you want xx

Original poster
lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 10:36

He kept inferring that he would get a vasectomy, went as far as googling it and then nothing further. I think I feel like I can't say anything sometimes, with regard to sex/ejaculation. I don't know why.

The other day he said that he didn't want children and for me not to get any ideas.

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 30/04/2019 10:38

It's worrying you don't feel like you have any say in your own fertility or allowed to make your own decions.

How old are you? Have you been together long?

Original poster
lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 10:42

:(

I'm 25 and we have been together for a few months, but we have known each other for about 4 years and used to be best friends. He used to be with someone else when we met, but he fell out of love with her and in love with me. But we went our separate ways until a few months ago because we couldn't be together.

OP posts:
Dlah · 30/04/2019 11:09

I don't mean to sound harsh - but if you can't have those conversations with him - stop having sex! Anyone you're in a relationship with you should be able to talk freely and openly with and discuss things like adults. It's your body and your future that may now be affected and believe me it's hard enough when you have a fantastic, stable relationship let alone one that doesn't seem very secure.

You need to start having some serious conversations and soon. Hold your head up and say your peace

Original poster
lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 11:13

Thank you, wouldn't say you're being harsh, just words that I needed to hear. I love and care for him very deeply and don't want to lose him.

OP posts:
Original poster
lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 11:30

Sorry- just checking- I definitely have to buy an early response test to get a conclusive answer?
Because standard pregnancy tests won't have the same effect?
I keep reading conflicting things like some sites say not to test early and to just wait.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 30/04/2019 11:37

I doubt anything but. Frer would show a positive.

Princesspeachy0 · 30/04/2019 11:38

Get the first response 6 days early one. Good luck OP.

MashPotatoMashPotato · 30/04/2019 11:47

When is your period due? I wouldn’t consider it a conclusive answer if you tested and got a negative before your period is even due. You could just be testing too early and could still be pregnant. I know you want to know sooner but personally I’d wait until your period is due. An early response is your best bet if you can’t wait though.

MashPotatoMashPotato · 30/04/2019 11:48

First response I meant, not early response.

VenusStarr · 30/04/2019 11:52

Is he a similar age @lovelikewinter? By no means am I telling you what to do but he doesn't sound that nice. I know you say you love him, but the relationship isn't balanced and he doesn't treat you like an equal. I'd be having serious thoughts about whether I wanted to stay in a relationship when I felt scared like you seem to be. You don't seem happy, more on eggshells wondering what his reaction might be.

If you'd prefer to wait until Saturday you'll get a conclusive answer. A frer would likely give you an accurate answer before your period, don't bother with any other type of test.

Original poster
lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 11:57

Thanks for all of the replies

My period is due on Saturday, I think for my peace of mind i'll try and get an early response test on my lunch today.

Venus - he's 5 years older than me. Its a difficult one I guess, I feel that I cannot be entirely candid on such a public forum as nice as it seems, so i'm somewhat hesitant to disclose certain things :(

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 30/04/2019 12:02

That feels like there's more going on and you can't say :( don't feel pressured to say anything here, but know there is support on here and at places like women's aid. The important thing is you have choices and options (even if it dirsnt feel like it now and I'm not just talking about if you're pregnant)

Do you have any friends you can talk to? I know you said you don't get on that well with your mum.

Do a test and at least you know what you're dealing with Flowers

Original poster
lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 13:58

Thank you, it is nice to know there is support,

I don't have any friends I can talk to I'm afraid..

I bought a Clear Blue test - that was all they had; its come up as not pregnant but I feel so dreadful and i'm convinced I am,
and as bad as it sounds i'm upset that i'm not because, i think i do want a baby after all.

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 30/04/2019 14:10

That doesnt sound bad, sometimes it takes things like this to make us realise what's important to us. If you do want a baby then you can make the right decision for you to give you a chance of being a mum. It sounds like you both want different things.

If you did a digital test, they aren't as sensitive so possible that you are pregnant and it's just a bit early. If you can get hold of another test and maybe just do it on Saturday.

Look after yourself x

Original poster
lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 15:34

Thank you. I'm getting confused now as I was using an app that told me my period is due on Friday, which is 25 days, however, it's actually supposed to come Sunday now. this is so stressful, do you think this miscalculation can make a difference in taking the test this lunchtime? xx

OP posts:
VenusStarr · 30/04/2019 15:39

What's your usual cycle length? Maybe buy a first response and do it on Friday? It might be too early yet to show for definite. If you can't wait, use first morning wee tomorrow with an early response and it may show, but if you're due on Sunday it still is quite early.

GreatestShowUnicorn · 30/04/2019 15:52

The digital ones need a really high hormone level before they'll give you a positive you need a first response at this point.

CurlsandCurves · 30/04/2019 15:58

Given that it could well be a few more days before your period is due I’d agree with VenusStarr and say wait till at least Friday before testing again.

I’m also getting the impression that this is more than just am I pregnant. Why does he not want you on the pill? Why does he get to have a say in how you control your fertility and what you put into your body?

Original poster
lovelikewinter · 30/04/2019 16:10

Usual cycle length is 27 days, very rarely 28. I'll take your advice and buy a first response and test on Friday. I can't believe how confusing pregnancy tests can be..

curlsandcurves: he doesn't want me on the pill because he says it'll affect my hormones and that when his ex was taking it, she was unbearable. I tried to explain to him that i've been on the pill years ago and never had problems but he didn't say much to that.

OP posts:
SheChoseDown · 30/04/2019 19:24

You're so young. This is really sad to hear. He sounds terribly controlling.

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