TTC number 2

[Explorers10]

Is it me or does number 2 seem to take longer to conceive?

@crazychemist yes the bitch hit this morning. I always picture Mother Nature from the tampax or whatever advert. She’s a bitch either way.

Oh well bring on cycle 21 😔

I must say, I’ve been really enjoying Camembert and some nice stinky cheese (don’t know what it was, DH chose it) and had some nice gin infused fruity wine. Definitely the way to celebrate a cycle of failing to ttc properly!

Amazingly, DDs sleep has been pretty good this week now she’s over the ear infection. I wonder if we’re turning a corner with it. By normal toddler standards it’s not amazing, but still ten thousand times better than it used to be and I tell myself good sleep is about building the right habits, so I’m really pleased to see some progress! She slept last night from 8.30 till about 4.30 (I didn’t look at the clock when she woke me, but I know I took her down for breakfast at 5.30), which is an 8 hour block!!!! Yippee!

Had a slightly odd conversation with my DMum yesterday that I wouldn’t mind a different perspective on. She came over to play with DD in the afternoon so I could have some time to get on top of housework things that slipped when we were all ill. I hadn’t told her we were ttc, and apparently she had assumed that we definitely didn’t want a second child. She was really shocked when I said that we were “open to the possibility of having another one” and she blurted out “but how will you cope?”. I didn’t want to have a long conversation as DD was listening. Do you reckon I should try to find out what she was thinking, or just let it lie? My DMum knows me very well and I care a lot about her opinion, but I don’t think I’d decide to give up ttc whatever she said so maybe I should just leave it?

Sorry, that was really rambling. But can’t ask anyone in RL for an opinion without them asking if we’re ttc, and I don’t really want to discuss that right now.

Hello @crazychemist - stinky cheese - yum yum!
Sounds delish!

My DS is a poor sleeper so I know how you feel. He went away at the weekend (first time I've left him) and he slept brilliantly coming back then last night woke at 3! I feel terrible this am 😂

My mum would probably say something similar. What makes her think you wouldn't cope? Is it that you had to have her to entertain DD whilst you tidied? When my DS was born and I was BF we had a cleaner and my mum was mortified. No idea why. You could maybe gently ask and see if she'd open up?

I thought my period had come but it was just spotting, especially after going for a no2 (sorry too much info) now days late and just a bit of brown spotting. This usually happens on day 24 before period due so wondering if I'm just late or maybe had a chemical. So peculiar.

Worth another POAS nespresso? Just in case? Maybe in a day or two if things haven’t become more like your typical AF?

My DMum doesn’t really like to open up about things, so I’m not sure she’d tell me. She doesn’t think I’m on top of the housework as much as I should be generally, which is why she came round to entertain DD so I could get more done. I have to admit my standards aren’t as high as hers, and my DH can be a total slob, but I wouldn’t say it was embarrassingly bad.... dishes are never more than 24 hours old but clean laundry doesn’t always get put away straight away and I don’t vacuum as often as I should. I hope that’s all she’s thinking of. I’d rather have another child than a tidy house. Maybe she thinks I wouldn’t cope if I had a more challenging one second time round. Aside from the sleep/health issues, DD has been a pretty easy baby/toddler.

I’ve been quiet, it’s been a super busy week. I think I perhaps ovulate early due to some pains I get normally around day 8/9 of my cycle so definitely going to start doing ovulation tests next month. Can anyone reccommend some?

@crazychemist that's a tough one to be honest. It could be that she was just worried about your wellbeing knowing you're not sleeping well yet due to DD and a newborn would add to the mix. So perhaps it was coming from a place of concern as opposed to criticism. Depending on your relationship with her, I might be inclined to let it be unless there will be other comments.

@Ballygowenwater Best thing to do is to get some cheap ones from Amazon, e.g. the ones called OneStep. If you end up testing once or twice a day for a week or so, any shop bought ones may get expensive in the long run.

chemist my mum has been trying to talk me out of having a second ever since I had DD, in our case I think it's part concern as a second child is innevitably going to increase stress levels, but also my mum stayed at home with her children so I think it seems insane to her that I am working+studying+having children.

bally I used the cheapie amazon ones which always seemed to work for me, although the cycle I got my BFP I either ovulated 3 days before the OPKs picked it up or I got a BFP at 4dpo!

@crazychemist maybe just ignore her. I am sure she would be over the moon when you have another. It's none of her business anyway

AF came, Friday was awful with pains which made me think maybe a chemical. Much better today and nearly finished so here's to cycle whatever I'm on now 😂 just purchased the Clearblue dual sticks with the app, I did the trial last year for it and fell pregnant but ended in miscarriage so maybe it'll help again.

Does anyone take any supplements apart from vit D & folic acid?

Oh, I’m sure it’s coming from concern rather than anything nasty. My mum and I have a great relationship and she’s been incredibly supportive with DD, they have a really great relationship too, which I love as I was always very distant from my grandparents and sometimes felt uncomfortable with them. I feel like if she hasn’t got it off her chest though it’ll fester and things will be awkward between us. She seemed genuinely completely surprised that I’d even be considering it!

Glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better today nespresso. I took/take the pregnacare ones, they’re a little pricey compared to others though. And the fish oil ones made me feel a bit queasy sometimes (fishy burps a bit later, yuck)

Hi bally, I’m using internet cheapies from Amazon, they turned up really quickly. I don’t think I bought enough though, I started testing far too early last cycle.

@nespressowoo In addition to standard prenatal vitamins I took complex B and vit C as I have a short luteal phase. Also got DH to take vit C, E, selenium and zinc. We only managed to take these for a month and then got our BFP. Who knows if linked... we were on cycle 7.

Morning all! How is everyone getting on?

My “I’m not pregnant yet” celebration continued with pate and wine last night, very nice. I’ve been a bit bad with vitamins the last week though, feeling a bit guilty about that. Must remember the folic acid! Don’t know why I keep forgetting this time round, but it does feel like I’ve been taking it FOREVER!

Got a reply from my DMum. Basically her concern is mostly about the hours I work. She didn’t work until I was at secondary school and I won’t be doing school run so she’s already worried that I won’t be spending enough time with DD but didn’t want to say anything. She was hoping I’d move to a closer job so I would be able to do some of the school runs, and thinks that’s likely to be delayed if I have another DC, which is true. She’s also concerned that another DC might have health complications (DD has some minor issues, but nothing that I think will be a problem in the long run). Probably similar to how your mum felt, chips! Have you told her about your bfp yet? If so, how did she respond?

@crazychemist well it doesn't sound like her view was particularly negative, just that she was concerned because she was in a very different situation when you were growing up. Perhaps the delivery just came out a bit wrong These days we can do it all which is tough but also rewarding. I don't think there is one way that is the best. I had a single mother who worked really hard and 12h days but still I think I had a great childhood and I'm best friends with her. In comparison at the moment I'm not working as we recently became expats so I'm just concentrating on my masters and we also are very lucky to have a live-in nanny. It's a different kind of life but doesn't mean it's any better or worse for kids. I think you just make the best out of the life you have. If you're happy then chances are the kids are too and that's what we all care about, right

I'm just waiting around for my first GP appointment in 10 days. Still keep POAS every few days as it hasn't sunk in. Tired by mid-afternoon so taking naps with DD.

Who's next on FW and TWW? Come on ladies, I'm cheering for you. I like our little group as it's more manageable than others. I'd love for us all to move to the Ante-Natal Clubs side of MN together - hopefully soon X

Yeah sounds like she's coming from a similar angle to my mum chemist I think while DC2 is hypothetical then parents can be fretful that it's an addition stress on both you and DC1. I have told my mum, she was very pleased for me but said she is worried about how she will cope with 2 grandchildren! She adores DD and think is worried about the impact on her in terms of attention etc. Guess it's normal for mums to overthink and worry when it comes to their kids, my mum was a wreck when I was pregnant the first time as she couldn't stand the thought of me going through labour, so she is a bit of a drama queen!

Ahhh sassenach I only stopped POAS when my mega batch ran out last week! I'm feeling pretty rough now though so not feeling as anxious as I was a few weeks ago when I pretty much felt like I wasn't pregnant.

I’m according to my app in FW but according to the ovulation sticks I bought I’m not. But I have a feeling I ovulate early so we started early. Either way I’m due on May 17th. And I really hope I don’t actually ovulate late coz OH is on nights next week.

Also this cycle is the last one I can fall on and still get Stat maternity pay so I’m really hoping it happens. Otherwise it will be Mat allowance

I'm 35 in January - @nespressowoo how old is your DS? My DD was 3 in January and has just recently as in last month been coming in to our room between 5-7.30am she always used to wake up and come into our room between 12-3am but she did then go back to sleep in our bed! Now tho sometimes I have to go in to her room to wake her! If she wakes at 5am she does come into our room and goes back to sleep for a bit. She usually wakes between 6.30 and 7.30 tho so if your DS is a bit younger it may get better soon!! Xx

Oh chips and sassen, you make me smile that you still POAS! Mind you I don't know why not, they don't last forever and you won't have any other use for them. I remember with DD I was so glad the first day I had morning sickness because it felt so much more real. Boy, did DH remind me of that moment a lot over the 8 months of vomiting that followed! Hope you're not feeling too rough, chips, and that you can enjoy feeling less anxious. I think it feels so much more real once you start telling people.

Good luck for your FW bally! Hope you ov before your DH is on nights. Why the switch from Stat pay to Mat allowance?

Mummybear you give me hope..... my DD is an awful sleeper, she's 3 in September. I keep telling myself it can't go on forever (please please please). DD sleeps fine when she's not ill, but that's very much in the minority and it can be a killer when she's had a rough night.

@crazychemist I’m on a temp contract at the moment so if I fall pregnant this cycle I will still be there the 15th week before due date and will be entitled to statutory. If I don’t I won’t and will have started a new job too late to get it through them.

Hi all please can I join you? I'm TTC2 and lost track of which cycle - I think around 7. It's so much harder isn't it, I'm always so tired. DS is 2 in July and a real live wire. I feel ready now to have another but it just isn't happening. I have PCOS but like you @Explorers10 I don't have the other symptoms like facial hair, I have gained weight but I think that's eating too much! It took me 8 months to conceive DS and my GP put me on metformin which worked pretty quickly but this time I've already been on it for 6 months. AF is due around this weekend (pcos means my cycles are 33 days but can be 35/6) we only had a half hearted try this month as we are going on holiday early June and it's the only holiday abroad we'll have this year (thanks nursery fees!) and I really want to enjoy it and have a few drinks in the evening. We went to Spain when I was pregnant and tapas without a beer just wasn't the same! Of course I'm still symptom spotting and thinking about buying a test though!

Hello ladies

@MummyBearBoo DS is 2 1/2. His sleep is slowly getting there. Last night he woke once and just needed a quick cuddle. It's like he's an acrobat as ends up horizontal! It's reassuring to hear from other mums who have also similar poor-sleepers. Thank you x

Thanks for the vitamin recommendations, I have some coming today. Had high fertility flashy smiley today and ewcm yesterday so DTD last night. Temp dropped too.

How are you all?

@seahawk80

Thank you for mentioning me in your post & your experience of being able to get pregnant whilst having pcos. This gives me some hope! I have my scan on tues to see if I do have cysts , if so, i’ll be diagnosed with pcos. I then hope they give me metformin to manage it & i hope that will help me get pregnant again. Such a shock as knew none of this 1st time round! Can I ask how old you are? I keep trying to convince myself that I havent left trying for my 2nd too late, so hard. Good luck hope AF doesn’t come this weekend. Hope you have a lovely holiday, it be great for you just to relax and chill out.

@Ballygowenwater hope you're getting some DTD time in this weekend and those OPKs are showing positive!

@Chips4dinneragain I've booked an on/gym appointment for next week and I think they will do a scan so once that's done I'd expect to stop POAS - I hope  I didn't have any symptoms with DD and this time I'm only tired so that always adds to the anxiety. Having said that, hope you fee much better soon!

@MummyBearBoo and @crazychemist DTD when you have a toddler is already hard enough so when you have a poorly sleeping one, I can't even imagine it. Hope you get some good sleep soon! It's crazy isn't it what a basic need sleep is, just impacts everything.

@crazychemist is your DD getting ill from nursery? Maybe that'll ease up with summer coming?

@Seahawk80 Welcome! Totally get your desire to wine and dine whilst on holiday. Sometimes that's really needed for our sanity. Maybe some time away relaxing will help with that BFP. Fingers crossed for you.

@Explorers10 Let us know how it goes at the scan!

Thanks @sassenach84 and @Explorers10 - don't mind being asked my age at all! I'm 38 (39 in Dec).

My sisters both have pcos too, the older one needed clomid for her first 2 and conceived a 3rd naturally and my youngest sister tried for almost a year for her first but her second cake along quite quickly. My understanding of pcos is that your cycles can be quite random and you don't always ovulate so it can be harder to time things. The month we conceived DS was the first month we did SMEP so I don't know if it worked or was just a coincidence. No chance of SMEP with a toddler though!

Lots of sympathy for those with bad sleepers, DS just started to sleep through reliably about 2 months ago - we had to introduce a dummy at 20 months which wasn't ideal but it worked and I got my sanity back!

My DD is sleeping well now except she's had a cough last couple of nights so they've been a bit disrupted she's only waking up once but before she was sleeping right thru! She dropped her naps when I was pregnant the second time which was not good that first trimester was horrific ( I think my body knew the baby was poorly and that's why it was so bad that one ended in TFMR) - that was just before she turned 2 so have no time in.the day so the only time we have is evenings!

No DTD here- I’m away for the weekend with DD while OH is working 🙈

Welcome Seahawk 😊