35+ TTC#1 Thread 6

[BambiOnIce80]

Spring is in the air and it's time for a new thread!

Basically: a wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the TTC journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Here's hoping we get some spring BFP luck for all of us!! 🍀🐣🍀🐣

Arghh! Just typed a long response and lost it! Grr

@Weathergirl1 thanks -it's been awful but I proved I can get through it, even if it's incredibly hard. My phobia is an odd one. Only kicks in when it's about me. I am regularly at the hospital/drs with my parents or with work (I'm a journo and cover a lot of local health stories) and I'm perfectly fine, but as soon as it's my appointment I turn into a jibbering wreck.

@Carley321 On IC opks..,I always try and hold my wee for at least three hours. I always get lines but the positives are very obvious. They normally stay positive for 12-18 hours before fading again.

@BambiOnIce80 our OH's sound very similar. DTD doesn't always mean crossing the finish line for us either. Stress of work/TTC are the most common issues (and thinking too much!) we've tried various things...having a bath together first to relax, outfits that turn him on, we even bout bed risers to help with positions/comfort! We've also tried to time date nights/getaways for when it's fertile time. It's so disappointing and frustrating though when it doesn't happen and timing is good-feels really unfair. My oh wants to be a dad but says if it doesn't happen it won't be the end of his world, but he knows I feel differently. Never did until I fell pregnant the first time, but now it's just primal.

Sorry to hear you are feeling so rubbish @79andnotout

@birdbybird i wonder if this months ov was delayed due to a cold (I hope so otherwise they are just irregular still which isn't great)

I'm currently 7dpo and trying not to let the crazy set in. Testing Tuesday with a frer but trying not to get hopes up. I miss the days when I had the "what will be will be" attitude

Hugs to all xx

@BambiOnIce80 sorry your feeling down 💐
I’m glad we all have each other on this thread 😊. It’s a little bit of therapy!

Well OPK update or lack of..... I held it all afternoon from 3.30 until 7, I was bursting so off I went on my travels to the loo, noticed DP has just dropped all his stuff in the kitchen not bothered to help with anything and sat on his backside playing on his laptop....... so had a good old rant to myself (inside my mental mind) sat on the toilet and let it all out. Yep forgot to pee in a container! Utter tit!

@Carley32 oh no!!! Nightmare! Maybe try not to drink too much and try again before bed? I often get positives in the evening x

Noooooooo @Carley32!!! 😱 You poor thing!! Sounds like exactly the kind of thing that I'd do, so I must admit I did giggle just a little bit 😄🤭 To illustrate the coming and going of LH, I've attached mine for this cycle so far. The top one is CD12 (barely there), then CD13 is entirely absent, weak yesterday (CD14) & the bottom one (which is near as dammit BFP) is this mornings (CD15). I know you're not supposed to bother with FMU with IC OPK's (because LH is synthesised in the morning and shouldn't show up in our wee until later in the day), but after @79andnotout mentioning she gets her BFP at 8pm I thought "hmmmm... I wonder 🤔" 🤓 Think I'll get my BFP either today or tomorrow looking at my temp (gone up a bit and I think it'll drop tomorrow, going off the one good chart I have to compare it to🌡️) and the OPK's. Just opened a new pack of OPK's this morning and re-read the instructions for the first time since May last year - it recommends abstaining from fluids and holding for at least 2 hours, so your 1 hour hold might have been diluting down your results. I hope you have better luck (and less distractions on your way to the loo 😂) today! 🤞🏻 Is it GP result day too? I hope they talk you through everything properly (& print them out for you 😉), if so.x

Our OH's do sound very, very similar @Laney79! Mine says he'd love to be a dad, but is very honest about loving our life exactly as it is too (and I feel exactly the same, to be fair). You're totally right though - it does feel like there's some primal (likely hormonal 😏) urge to make a bambino that just won't quite do one 🙄 I was considering cracking out the agent provocateur and the louboutin's (and nothing else 😬) tonight seems the OPK is nearly there, but I'm worried DP will see straight through me and just see pressure instead of a bit of sexy fun... 🤬 it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained - right?! Worst that can happening is nothing/loss of dignity on my part! 🙄

Thinking of you today @VenusStarr and keeping everything crossed 🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀

Morning all

I took a frer at 10dpo and got a bfn. Had terrible cramps all day and was extremely irritable and cried most of the day. convinced AF on its way. Cramping suddenly stopped yesterday so tried this morning at 12dpo with a clear blue early response. This came up within the time frame but I'm worried because I've heard these aren't as reliable and can give false positives. OH says to not get too excited and to assume it's negative until we try another frer tomorrow. What do you think? I think it's a BFP

Thank you @BambiOnIce80 and everyone else who sent good wishes. Its not good news for us. The pregnancy hasn't developed, the sack is collapsing, possibly due to my fibroids and there was a bleed in the sack. I have to go back in 2 weeks as the sack was smaller than their cut off so it may grow. Unlikely, just means we're in limbo for 2 more weeks. I might miscarry naturally or in 2 weeks if nothings happened they'll discuss the options.

Absolutely heartbroken 💔 and drained. It's dh's birthday this weekend as well

@BambionIce80 Yes, it seems we have quite similar tracking as well. You might be my TTC twin. I will say I get my LH surge on CD17, but I am not sure when OV comes. A day later, two, not at all? That's why I am hoping to get an answer this cycle by temping the correct way. I did have some cramping last night, so I am a little worried my cycle is off kilter.

@birdbybird This is Cycle 4 for me. Yeah, I am thinking I am going to go to the store and get me some tests. I hate spending as much for a 10 pack as I could get 50 for online, but I'd hate to do the Amazon Prime thing, get the kits Monday, and potentially miss it. I hope it doesn't come early as I need it to come later to give me a chance.

My biggest problem historically, as far as accuracy and consistency, is i seem to go in these stages and ebbs and flows. I will be super diligent about testing and temping and Vitamin C and no caffeine and etc etc. But then, I'll get this go-with-the-flow feeling where I am loving life, and I am loving DF, and I am just sort of happy. So, I think to myself, "I'm just going to let things go. And if it happens, it happens" and I take sort of an organic approach, where I just decide if it happens naturally, great. The problem is, this usually lasts until my tww, and then when I get AF, I am devastated, and get back on the wagon. It's going to take a lot of willpower to sort of push through those la-dee-da, whimsical moments and do what needs to be done so I know my cycle better.

Looks hopeful @beebear22 🙂 Good luck for your FRER tomorrow 🍀

@WrexhamBuxom, there's nothing wrong with being whimsical/relaxed about TTC! 😄 It should be positively encouraged! 😂 I wish I could turn my brain off from it sometimes 😏 That's exactly what I'll be aiming to do after the next few days are out of the way if I don't get any joy out of DP - suffering a no-hope TWW in the sweet embrace of gin and tonic! 🍸😄 I've decided I'll treat myself to my favourite bottle of it all goes Pete tong 😬

I'm so, so sorry to hear your news @VenusStarr 😞 Sorry doesn't seem a big enough word to do it justice 😔 Sending love to you and your DH at such a difficult time 💙xx

I'm so very sorry @VenusStarr. Sending love and hugs

Oh no @VenusStarr 💐💐

Re: cheapy OPKs, I used to just do them in the afternoon, but noticed I got a better line around 6pm. I also thought you weren't supposed to use FMU but tried it a couple of cycles ago and got a +ve so have now done that now if I've had a darkening line the evening before so as not to miss the surge. I haven't really had a problem with not drinking but I tend to exercise in afternoons so must sweat out everything I drink!

I think I felt a bit queasy yesterday morning and a bit earlier today, but I'm not sure. Also now do seem to have achy breasts around the bottom and side which I can't remember ever having - I'm small chested (which is another thing that freaks me out about pregnancy - I know others love the extra boobage) so they never usually bother me. I think I'm 10dpo so 😱

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry

@BambiOnIce80 ooo maybe I should start dating and keeping my opks 🤔. That is the closest you’ll get to a bfp I think. Will you test again tonight?

Yea I will hold it for as long as I can, 3 hours today 👍 lol. Although I don’t have much hope.... nothing at all on the ewcm but I do have 2 new spots, so hopefully soon!
Not today, Monday.

Good luck with DP tonight @Bambi. I’m sure even if he does know what your upto he won’t care to much and go along for the ride 😉.

CD18 here and a line that can barely be seen on the OPK. Looks like my 30ish day cycles aren’t returning anytime soon. Although my spot and itchy boobs may be a positive sign 🤔.

Oh @VenusStar what a tough time. I’m so sorry, sending you both lots of love 💐 xxx

Ugh that's really shit @VenusStarr, I'm so sorry. I was so happy for you, it really felt like your time. Hope you're looking after each other xx

@BambiOnIce80 good luck with the louboutins! 🤞🤞 I miss being able to feel like it's ok if it doesn't happen for us. Used to feel like that but since I fell pregnant I've turned into a raging nut case. Its gone from being a nice thought to being an absolute nerd that's taken over my life.

In terms of opks I've attached a few pics of mine recently in case it's helpful for anyone. I know it's a bit odd to keep them but it helps me compare month on month.

@beebear22 ooh that looks very hopeful! Let us know how it goes tomorrow!

@VenusStarr I'm so so sorry. It's just awful to experience it, all those hopes and dreams shattered. just do whatever you need to to get through it-scream, cry, talk, don't talk, whatever helps. The two week thing is really hard, and feels very cruel but you will get through it. If you need anything just say. Xxx

@WrexhamBuxom understanding my cycle has been a big thing for me, but it is a double edged sword as I easily get obsessive! Hence no temping just opks.

Fingers crossed @Weathergirl1

As for me I had my private blood results back today. They mostly appear normal but I need to do more research to double check as some are close to the top/bottom of the suggested normal ranges. However it does say I have a gene mutation...it's a test I was going to have but decided against as it was an extra and cost £100 on its own! However the lab ran it anyway by mistake and they've been amazing and given me the result. Turns out I have a mthfr gene mutation. It's the a.1286C>A heterozygous one. Seems it's the one that's least worrying but still need to figure out what if anything it means in terms of TTC. Apparently it's quite common but it seems some people switch from folic acid to methylfolate as that's easier for the body to absorb.

I swear if I ever do have a baby I'll be like a walking encyclopaedia on this stuff!

Forgot the pics!

@VenusStarr I am so terribly sorry about your news. I know all of us at this age understand the risks and possibilities of conceiving at an older age. But you still hope it doesn't happen to you and want to be on the right side of the odds. Prayers for you and yours.

@Laney79 Oh I have no doubt I would be the obsessive kind too. I'm a one side of the spectrum or the other kind of person. I'm either loosey goosey about it, or I am super focused.

@BambionIce80 No definitely nothing wrong with the whimsical approach. I just need to make sure to stay on task when it comes to keeping track of things.

@VenusStarr so sorry to read this

@Laney79 ooh I'm interested in the mthfr gene. I haven't been tested but I have been having issues with histamine reactions and various reading I did suggested methylation issues might be related. As such I've been taking methylfolate rather than folic acid. As I understand it , it's better for everyone not just those with the gene mutation.

Good morning ladies 🌞 - or more accurately 🌧️☔ where I am 😏

When's AF due @Weathergirl1? Are you going to test before then? Your symptoms are sounding hopeful 🍀

Well done on the long hold @Carley32! Try not to be disheartened that it's CD18 and no BFP yet ❤️ I guess now we've figured out that you may not have been holding for long enough pre-POAS, then there's a chance you may have missed your peak because your wee was more dilute? 🤔 That's the handy thing about labelling and keeping the sticks - you can look back and see which one was darkest in case of doubt 😉 I just keep them in one of the empty pouches until I'm done with them for a cycle, line them up and take a picture, upload it to my Google drive (saved by month and year 🤓) and then bin them 👍 All this said, you could very easily get your BFP today 🤞🏻You saw how mine went from very weak to very strong in one day - that's what's normal for me, but everyone is different 🙂

@Laney79, I used to do the MTHFR gene mutation tests in one of the blood coagulation labs I used to work for 🤓 If I can be of any help with info, just ask.x

So. The agent provocateur/louboutin seduction tactic fell at the first hurdle - came home to find that DP is 'on-call' for the weekend, which seems to essentially mean working from home all bloody evening! 😭 He didn't move from his computer until 11.30pm and was yawning his head off, so that was the end of that 😕 On the brightside, someone called him at 6.30am this morning with a one minute phone call, woke us both up and DTD was successful (huzzah for morning glory! 😂) 👍😁 CD16 today, temp not dropped (but I did have a G&T when I was pissed off last night 🍸😬), 2 strong OPK's yesterday, so think ov might be late today/tomorrow 🤞🏻 Basically, if we don't DTD for the rest of this cycle, then I don't give a 💩 because I think we have one well timed shot in the bank! 😊

@Weathergirl1 ooh how much methylfolate do you take? I was prescribed high dose 5mg folic acid after my first miscarriage so currently take that as well as pregnacare preconception but the gp said at the time it wouldn't do any harm as my body would wee out the excess -now I'm wondering! When you says histamine reactions, do you mean allergies? I suffer from hay fever, dust mite allergy etc etc.

@BambiOnIce80 hoorah for morning glory!! It's amazing the difference just having a chance makes you feel isn't it. I felt the same this month. 9dpo today for me and still trying not to allow myself to symptom spot. It's a year today since my first ever scan when my world crumbled so trying not to let myself get really upset. Distraction is the way! If you are happy to take a look at the results I got back I'd really appreciate it-I can post a pic or message them to you? Thankyou xxx

@Laney79 I take 600ug - I have attached photos. I have urticaria (hives) and they aren't sure why - doesn't seem to be allergies (as in IgE reactions). Had them about 10 years ago for 8 or 9 months and they went away. They came back about 18 months ago after a bout of norovirus. They're currently nearly gone but not quite. I've been off high doses of antihistamines for about a year now but I am still taking vitamins. Funnily enough my hayfever last summer was better than usual (never used to have it until a couple of years before the first bout of hives). I looked at low histamine diets while it was really bad and I'm still really careful about certain foods now (decided that my body was releasing enough histamine without me adding to it through my diet). Was all quite interesting - histamine intolerance isn't a recognised medical condition but there's a growing body of evidence and sufferers to suggest there might be something in it.

@BambiOnIce you do have a way with words - I killing myself 🤣 here at your 'well timed shot in the bank' 🤞

Not sure about testing... I only have ICs and they probably aren't sensitive enough at 11dpo?

So sorry it's going to be a tough day for you today @Laney79 💐😔 More than happy to take a look at the results if you PM them, if I can be of help 🤓 My specialism is blood cell and clotting science, so a bit rusty with biochemistry, etc. Does a doc go through the results with you when you pay for them privately or do they just hand them over and that's it?

@Weathergirl1, I think I'd hold off if you haven't got any HPT's in. That said, I prefer to wait until AF is late before I think about testing because I hate getting a BFN and then having to wait days for AF to turn up. Also means I barely ever test because AF is rarely late 😏 Go for whatever feels right for you, but I'd still avoid using the OPK's as a substitute HPT - it could cause confusion rather than give you an answer.x

@BambiOnIce80 nah-no Dr input, you just get the results and any advice attached in written form. Have an appointment booked with the GP a week on wednesday. If you don't mind I'd really appreciate it. I'll DM them over.

@Weathergirl1 I'd agree with @BambiOnIce80 about the testing. If only use a frer at 11dpo. I have got some "super sensitive" IC hpt's that are meant to detect at 10miu but last time I caught they had the faintest shadow at 13dpo but it was a proper squinter! Had to invert the colours to see it! So I think you'd be pushing it at 11dpo, sorry! And technically it can take up to 10/11dpo for implantation I think?
Thanks for the methylfolate info-very useful. I swear there's so much we still don't understand about this stuff! Makes you realise just how far we've come but still got to go science wise!

Ah, seems I can't send pics/files via private messaging @BambiOnIce80 - unless anyone knows how?