35+ TTC#1 Thread 6

[BambiOnIce80]

Spring is in the air and it's time for a new thread!

Basically: a wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the TTC journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Here's hoping we get some spring BFP luck for all of us!! 🍀🐣🍀🐣

Hey ladies

Just stopping by-on holiday at the mo. Just seeing all these posts about painful hsg, my mom has had to have hysteroscopy' sin the past and said they were worse than childbirth...is it only me that thinks they should be offering sedation/anaesthetic for these kind of procedures? Seems a large proportion of women find them very painful.

My friend is having a hycosy in a couple of weeks, and she struggles with smears and even having swabs - I dread to think how painful it will be for her.

I'm having a hysteroscopy in August 😔 it's a one stop see and treat procedure so they'll remove any fibroids they can. Under local anesthetic.

@PixieN I'm sorry you're hsg was bad too. I feel the same, if only I could have managed my pain better they would be able to see or at least if there was a blockage push it out 😔 let me know how your follow up appointment goes. I'm wondering if I'll have to have a laparoscopy if the consultant isn't happy with the results.

Trying not to feel negative but I really feel like everything is against me at the moment. Think I've got thrush after the hsg, really hoping it's not an infection but I don't feel quite right. Plus, my nan passed away on Friday, although expected it was like a kick in the gut getting the call. I feel like my mental health is on a knife edge. I am feeling more and more angry and resentful. I'm halfway through the counselling. It's good to talk but it doesn't change the reality for me.

Thanks for your message too @LeonieKate, I'm sorry you're having a confusing time with the bleeding. Glad you're getting checked out. Let us know how you get on

Thanks @BambiOnIce80 it certainly does mess with you doesn’t it. So the positive I found was.... that technically we have only tried for 8 cycles, as I didn’t actually have af until end of August and then between irregular cycles and a month off for Xmas. That’s what I make it. Feeling a little better about that outlook (I think).
I don’t envy you being in TWW it’s headwork! But sounds like you covered all basis so still keeping my 🤞 for you. The Family visit sounds the perfect way to keep your mind off it though 😂. Good luck with that. 😳

Thank you @Quantumgirl you were right I had a little cry moved on from it and I’m back here again on CD6 feeling hopeful 🤞.
Wow that is such a lot to take on board. I never realised how tricky it all gets. I don’t blame you for the binge-a-thon sounds bloody perfect 😍 lol.

It sounds like your heading in the right direction @Russkispy. Good luck Good luck Good luck 😊 x

I’m so sorry about your man @VenusStarr and I’m sorry you are struggling so much at the moment. Things can be so bloody unfair can’t they. Just try to stay strong and I hope you get some much deserved good news soon.

Iv given up on cutting out alcohol for the month already. I’m getting the wine out... stuff it! 🥂

I'm so sorry those of you who've had to go through an HSG. I saw this on Twitter the other day and I'm so angry for you:

twitter.com/lynbrownmp/status/1135821433689575424?s=19

Sending you all 💐&❤️

Thank you @Weathergirl1 ❤️

I'm lucky I didn't realise it was going to be painful (or if I had I'd have made OH come with me). My sister had hers a couple of weeks before and said it was fine. I guess my tubes had more crap in them! I'm pretty good with all things medical in general, so I was surprised by how bad it was, although they had to puncture my cervix as it was too small, so I was in stirrups for over an hour while they clamped and fiddled. I recommend painkillers and wine in advance and someone to drive you home after. I had to sit in costa coffee at the hospital for an hour afterwards until my legs stopped trembling enough for me to drive home!

@79andnotout did you watch springwatch last night? If you didn't then don't. It's not good for our current mental state 😵🐣🦊

Oh no! No I'm in China at the mo @QuantumGirl - I also stopped watching it as it seemed to be getting full of bad things every episode! Nature is a cruel beast.

Last night's one was even worse, who knew woodmice are such evil bastards!

@Pinkywoo I don't dare watching it anymore. These animals are evil! Mind you I watched the war against plastic instead and it was equally stressful.

@79andnotout nice! 😉 🇨🇳

I thought the war against plastic was good! Finally people are starting to realise what's been going on and I feel really positive that some good changes are going to happen 👍👍

@Weathergirl1 I thought it was good too but I was feeling very guilty for being so strict on recycling when it reality became rubbish in someone's country 😤😠. My aim now is to reduce my plastic consumption which coincidentally isn't recommended when you are ttc/ ivf especially water bottles.

On other notes today is CD23 and AF isn't here. So no weird short cycle this month 🙂. I'm due to go on hols at the end of the month which might coincide with the first egg collection. Everyone is telling me to go on hols and start ivf next month but I know if I do it my mind won't rest so I will postpone the hols a few weeks. I had 3 follicles last week and don't want to waste them. What if next month I only have 1? I'd be kicking myself.....

Oh I get that. Don't feel guilty though, feel angry you've been misled! We need to do both 😀. Why isn't it recommended to reduce water bottle usage when TTC - I've never heard that?

It's something to do with the chemicals in the plastic that get in the water and affect the hormones, especially if the bottle has been exposed to sunlight. You will need to google it for more details, sorry for the rubbish explanation 🤯

Ah yes gotcha! Using an alternative refillable water bottle (like a metal one) would be fine 👍

Thanks ladies - they should definitely prescribe pain meds for the HSG. I naively thought i’d be o.k as I don’t worry about smear tests 🙄 Apparently the laparoscopy is the gold star in fertility tests @VenusStarr 🤞

I refuse to watch Springwatch as I can’t cope with cruelty in nature. I told one of my pupils off today for squishing a spider! 😳

Well I'm back from China and got back just in time for one quick shag before I ovulated, so I'm now entering my TWW. Got my ultrasound and blood tests next weekend. Will have to look up what we'd expect to see on a scan a week after ovulation. Hopefully a nice thick lining, but my luteal phase is only 9 days so it might have started to break down by then. Will be interesting to know.

Hope you're all having good weekends. I'm sad that half of mine was spent cramped in a shitty old plane riding intense turbulence. I wonder if I get pregnant will my company stump up some extra cash to fly me business class! Long haul economy is the pits (not that I've ever tried anything else but those business class seats look plush!).

Glad you are back @79andnotout. Economy long haul really is shit I feel for you however when you get preggers is more likely your company won’t let you fly as their insurance is unlikely to cover it.

Good luck with your scan, please let us know how it goes.

I think my period has started. Injections and egg collection will be in the next few weeks. My acupuncturist asked me to have a break between egg collections and try naturally to see if the treatment helps. Not sure what to do ....

I wish @QuantumGirl - there's only twelve of us in our company so they would just modify the insurance and send me anyway. I could only get out of it with a medical note. How would the rest of you handle it? I travel long haul about once a month, so that would mean definitely travelling in the first 12 weeks if I didn't tell them. It will also mean trying to carefully manage IVF - fortunately things quieten down between september and christmas so I could probably avoid travelling then. I'm not planning on telling them if I'm having IVF because my boss is a dick and I just don't want him to know. I've had so many trips to hospital this year with my friend with cancer that I could disguise it as that.

How about you compromise with the collections @Quantumgirl - do two in a row, then have a short break, then do the third? If you get a really good response to the first one, what's the plan? Can you go straight to a transfer? I'm veering back around to doing what you're doing now, as I'm assuming if I get an NHS round it will fail but should hopefully give me some information to take to the private clinic. These mood swings of mine back and forth between what to do are bloody exhausting, though. But I was speaking to my cousin who had kids in her forties (supposedly naturally but she admitted it was after loads of IVF she just didn't want anyone to know) and she said she never wanted kids but had a late change of heart and is now so glad it worked out, and she has no regrets. So think I'm firmly back in the yes camp these days. Also my friend with cancer is doing really well so I'm not as depressed and feeling like we're all on a fast track to the grave!

If I were you I would upgrade my seat at my own cost but that’s just my personal opinion. If you fly BA you could upgrade yourself with Avios but don’t worry about it for now, this is a good problem to have ;)

I also haven’t told anyone at work about my treatment but luckily my clinic isn’t far from my office and I will try to ‘disguise’ any time off the best I can.

It’s lovely that you also had a change of heart and I also do relate to your cousin about not wanting children until now. The decisions I made in the past and the chances I missed to have a child haunt me everyday but slowly I am learning how to make peace with myself and hope that I will be given a second chance. You are in a better position than me as your AMH is higher but I wouldn’t put all my eggs (so to speak) on the NHS ivf. My (again, personal) experience hasn’t been good, I feel it was an utter waste of time and I wish I had gone for the private ivf option a lot sooner. As sept-dec is a quiet time for you at work, would you consider having your first ivf round around this time? If you go privately it could easily be booked for then but if you do you most likely will lose your NHS chance.

I am glad your friend’s treatment is going well, it did made me smile when I read it.

I like your idea of timing my collections. Unfortunately transfer is only after the 3rd collection so no matter what response I get after the 1st collection, I have to go through it twice more before doing a transfer. What I don’t want is to go for a transfer just before xmas. The past few years have been quite depressing and if for some reason it doesn’t work, it will be bad timing to find out.

Hi @QuantumGirl - wise advice. I'm expecting my first NHS round to start in a couple of months though, as there's no waiting list in our area, I just have to have the tests to meet the criteria and can then start. The NHS place is also near my work, whereas the private one is a bit of a mission, so it makes sense to at least give that a go first. I think if the NHS go shows that my eggs are a pile of shite then I'd reevaluate whether to proceed with private. I think there's a lot you can tell from the first round.

I would not go for a transfer around christmas if you've struggled around then in the past years. The odds are always against us so it makes sense to protect yourself from that as much as possible.

@BambiOnIce80 - I sent off a fresh load of blood for a more complete thyroid profile this morning, so will see what those are like. If my thyroid is off again though then that will delay IVF, annoyingly. It took a year for it to stabilise last time. So I'm hoping that last result was just a blip.

Evening all 🙂 La familia visit is now done and dusted (although DP still has a touch of the thousand yard stare going on 🙄), we've been away for DP's birthday/recovery weekend and we're finally home 🏡

Sorry to hear the HSG hurt like a mofo @PixieN, but glad you've gotten it out of the way! I feel like I've been crazy lucky when I had mine... actually makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me for not finding it any different from a smear test! 😳 What's next for you on the investigations agenda?x

Glad to hear you managed to get a shag in pre-ov @79andnotout 👍 It also made me smile to hear your friend is doing better and you're in a positive place ❤️ Sounds like we all might be doing this IVF timeline together (I'm also September - possibly January) and it would be fabulous to have all you guys in the same boat for a hand hold 🤝 Agree that you can get sporadic erroneous results, especially from a fingerprick - definitely best to repeat 💉 👍

Very exciting that AF is here and things will start moving for you now @QuantumGirl! 🥚🤩 Did you decide what you're going to do about your holiday? Does the jabs and scans fit around it? I also hope you enjoyed your forbidden food bender?! 🥘 😋 😉

How're things with you @Carley32 lovely? Is your muddy race for life coming up? Where abouts are you in your cycle? Hope you're feeling a bit better about things (and you've had some lovely wine 🍷😘).

So. CD25 here and AF due Thursday. I actually hope she does do the 'old faithful' thing and turn up like clockwork - I've had a 💩 load of wine, mussels and a good few drams in the last week! 😳 I've also found the most awesome thing in the world to distract from TTC obsessing - we've bought home a kitten today! 😼 We weren't going to go there until we'd exhausted IVF, but things just aligned and it became clear now was the right time... I'm smitten with him already! 😻

@BambiOnIce80 good to hear from you! Glad you survived the rellies and had some time away to recover but most amazing of all
you got a kitten! how amazing! can we have pics please? 😻😻😻

Here he is, enjoying using DP as a cat bed 😸 It's difficult to get a picture of him when he's awake - he's surprisingly fast! 🌪️