35+ TTC#1 Thread 6

[BambiOnIce80]

Spring is in the air and it's time for a new thread!

Basically: a wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the TTC journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Here's hoping we get some spring BFP luck for all of us!! 🍀🐣🍀🐣

Ah okay @Quantumgirl - so they add sperm and then let them get to blastocyst stage, then freeze, for each cycle? Then they will defrost the best one at the end and transfer that? That makes sense. Good luck with the appointment tomorrow!

@Carley - my neighbour pays about £45 per acupuncture session, and my sister pays £75. This is NW vs London pricing. I quite fancy reflexology. I might book myself in for a session when I get back from China.

@Carley32, here's the price list for my acupuncture clinic - I had no idea they did all this extra stuff until I thought I'd see about rough prices for the massage! 💆 Fertility hypnotherapy, anyone?! 🧐

My acupuncture is £50 for an hour, reflexology is £28 for an hour.

I love reflexology, really relaxing. In needle Phobic so acupuncture was a bit of a desperate measure but it's no where near as bad as I feared. I can't say I enjoy it but I'm still going as with this pregnancy I just want to keep doing what I was doing rather than stopping like I did with the previous two. X

So, got my results back. Some good news and bad. My FSH is actually okay, at 10 IU/L. The other sex hormones are on the bad side of normal, but, whatever, I'm nearly 40 so that's fine.

However, my TSH is 13.2 mIU/L (upper limit of normal is 4.5). Although my FT4 is in the normal range at 13pmol/L. I think I've probably got Hashimotos. GP has always refused to test, so I'm going to do some more extensive thyroid profiling. I love these online tests, I can feel an addiction coming on!

So, sounds like my reserve is pretty standard for my age but my thryoid is screwed. I'm going to order a more extensive thyroid profile as I suspect I've got an autoimmune thyroid issue. My GP has always refused to test more extensively.

My LH is slightly raised, my testosterone is on the high side of normal, and my oestrogen is on the low side of normal. I think those are all prob to do with my age.

Hey all,
Just back from a lovely break in Barcelona & Girona, managed to pass the last 2ww with plenty of sangria & cerveca (no way I was stopping until the lady in red was late!) Zero symptoms, so I was utterly convinced we'd done it this time! And AF arrived one day late just to prove me wrong! Oh well, it was the last days of the holiday anyway and i discovered spain sells v good pain relief OTC for much cheapness. I had a really good time, loads of walking, fun & relaxing. Definitely good for the soul!
Congratulations @pinkywoo on your recent nuptials! Lovely that @bambionice80 was there too.
@79andnotout sounds like your gp needs to investigate your thyroid symptoms asap.
Hope everyone's well xx

Hi all. Had my hsg this morning. I was so anxious and it didn't help that the waiting area is where everyone waits for their ultrasounds so lots of heavily pregnant women trotting through, all smiles. I got more and more upset and I just went back to when I had the miscarriage 😢 so ended up crying in the waiting room. And then more tears sitting on my own in the hospital gown waiting to go down.

The hsg was very painful, the dye did go through one tube fine, it went into the other tube but they weren't 100% it came out the other side. They didn't seem concerned. Had my TV scan after, nothing new there, lots of fibroids, which I know about so all as it should be. Mild bicornuate uterus.

Currently resting on the sofa with a heat bag, dosed up on painkillers as I'm cramping quite a lot. Going to write today off as pretty poo 💩 and face the world again tomorrow xx

Certainly sounds like you're at risk of developing a thyroid disorder @79andnotout, so surely your GP can't ignore investigating that?! I hope they stop being 💩 and get you some investigations sorted 🍀

Oooh, that sounds like a lovely holiday @CNizzle 😎 I bloody love paella and am very jealous! 🥘 😋 Sorry AF turned up, but glad you got the good European OTC drugs 💊 😉

Sorry to hear you've had a horrible day @VenusStarr 💐 At least you've ticked the scan boxes now and can move on to the next stage.x

@VenusStarr that sounds like absolute shit, hope you feel better soon x

That sounds rubbish @VenusStarr - my HSG was bloody agony too. At least it's over with, although a conclusive result would've been nice. Hope your OH looks after you this eve.

Yep @BambiOnIce80 once I have more info I'll be armed for my argument. I just want to make sure it's not an error first.

How was your appointment with the nurse, @QuantumGirl ?

Thank you all. It’s actually not as expensive as I’d thought. So now just to look into which one would suit me.

Sorry about the bfn @CNizzle but at least you made the most of your hols. Sounds fab and just what I could do with right now!

Hope you are being looked after and feel much better tomorrow @VenusStarr

I am absolute pants with all the sciency test stuff. But I hope your doctor investigates further and puts something in place ASAP.

I’m feeling like an absolute mess today. I don’t think I have felt this low since starting to ttc. I thinks it’s a mixture of work struggles and getting to a year of ttc with no luck. But whatever it is... it’s awful and I actually sympathise with DP for living with me at the moment 🙈.

Morning ladies, I'm still around. Waiting for my first AF after d&c which was 5 weeks ago. In complete limbo land at the moment.
Sorry some of you are struggling and feeling crap. It's just crap and unfair!
Maybe try to speak to this fertility coach?! Her name is Katharine and she helped a lot of ladies of different ages and fertility issues and also husbands/partners with zero sperm etc I saw her for 1 intensive day. Talked a lot about myself and my journey. She talked a lot about different aspects/approaches for natural conception. She's very nice and caring and certainly understands what some ladies are going through! Anyway here's her site, she represents herself at major fertility shows - <a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=mamabe.co.uk" target="_blank">http://mamabe.co.uk
And maybe some of you ladies on here will find her helpful. She offers 1 hour of free phone consultation. She also does reflexology

Sorry you're in limbo @Russkispy, any signs of ovulation yet? thanks for the link, I'll check her out x

Thank you @Carley321 sorry to hear you're feeling so low 💜

Sorry your hsg was painful too @79andnotout I wish I hadn't been so upset, they did say they could've tried again with the dye but didn't because of my pain. So kind of in limbo knowing if the other tube is OK or not. We had a netflix afternoon :) how are you?

Thank you @Pinkywoo, congratulations, one week married 🎊❤️

How are you @BambiOnIce80 I'm slowly catching up with everyone's news...

Slept OK but dh tried to cuddle me and woke me up as his arm caught my stomach. But concerned how much pain I'm in. Taken cocodamol this morning but feeling quite dizzy now. This year just feels awful and struggling to feel it will get better. Dh said we have to see this as a step closer but what if it isn't? What if I go through all this and we're still no closer to our baby? :(

Hi all, it's been a while since I was here! I've been lurking for a bit. It's been great to catch up on what's going on for you all.

@VenusStarr I'm sorry you're in such pain and having a tough time. I hope you can manage to take care of yourself, and distract yourself from the fearful thoughts.

I have popped back on the thread b/c I am currently having AF-style bleeding which started at CD10 and is still going at CD13. It was a fun surprise when I was stuck on a train wearing pale pink jeans and started bleeding heavily!! It was heavy enough and scary enough to go to the walk-in centre when it started, they checked me out and said I was in no danger so should just see my GP, so I have an appt next week.

But I was wondering whether anyone else has experienced this?!

Oh @Carley32, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way 💐 😞 I think hitting the 1 year TTC landmark can mess with our heads (I've had the pleasure of hitting it twice! 😏), but I guess you could try and look at it as being 1 year closer to getting the NHS help you're entitled to (if you need it) and getting your baby ❤️

Sorry you're in limbo at the moment @Russkispy 😔 What's the plan for you next (I know you always have an excellent plan 🙂)?

I'm so sorry that your HSG was so painful @VenusStarr 😣 Did you have any luck with the counselling? I try to look at it as I'll hopefully have a baby one day until medical science tells me otherwise (rightly or wrongly, I guess 🙄).x

Hi @LeonieKate, good to hear from you! 😊 Sounds a bit heavy for ovulation bleeding, but I guess the GP will be able to keep you right (frustrating that you can't see them until next week 😕). Only other outside chance thing I can think of is have you done a HPT? Is there a chance you're in early pregnancy?

I hope you're nurse appointment went well yesterday @QuantumGirl? 🤞🏻🍀

Not much to update on from me. CD15, but I've ovulated a little early this cycle. BFP OPK CD13 evening (and thankfully managed to DTD!) ov twinges last night (CD14) and temp rise this morning 🌡️TWW, here we go again! 😏

@VenusStarr I haven't tracked ovulation. So no idea where I stand. Bleeding after D&C lasted just over 2 weeks. We then started DTD 4 days after it stopped. I went to reflexology last week to balance hormones. All I can do is to wait.
@BambiOnIce80 , I love a plan and my plan may not be for everyone but it's mine! and so we've decided for DE and started ball rolling on that. We're both absolutely fine with it. My doc doesn't want me to waste my money on IVF and potential negative outcome, nor does she want me to waste time. And I think it's the best way forward for us. Whichever way I look at it, it's a gamble. I give you a scenario and you let me know what you think or what you would do. So I'm 43 now, TTC for #2 for 12 months, 2 MMCs inbetween. 2 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs no frozen embryos. And last embryo was GPS tested and had trisomy in 18, the other ended in MMC last month. And now, chances to fall naturally at my age are around 3% or so per cycle. IVF with my own eggs, maybe around 10-15% given that last embryos had trisomy, and it would cost around £4-5 per cycle, and it might end up in another miscarriage. And DE program is around 6k, and I'd get around 10-12 eggs, and possibly 4-5 embryos at the end of process, and 75% success. What would you go for!? And I know I don't want to TTC forever, I'll be 44 next April and I know some ladies still do it past 44 and 45 and over. But I know it's not for me.

Just a test. MN won't let me post 😭😭😭

Hi ladies, sorry I haven’t replied earlier as my head is still processing all the info from yesterday.

We stayed at the clinic for nearly 3 hours and spoke not only the nurse but also one of the embryologists. We’re ready to start the first EC cycle as soon as my period starts and the injections start on day 5. From there I will be monitored every few days and the EC will be booked accordingly. It might or might not impact my holiday plans and I’m going back and forth thinking if I should go on holiday and do the EC in July. 🤔🤯

When I spoke to the embryologist I asked him how they choose between ivf and ICSI and he said ivf is used first: they put the sperm and the egg on separate sides of a dish and let the sperm race to the egg. This dish is left overnight in an oven at body temperature and in the morning they check and see what happened. If the egg wasn’t fertilised then it’s game over as the egg and the sperm will be 1 day old and it’s too old to be used again with ICSI. Then on cycle 2 we will know better what to do and freeze on day 5 if all goes well.

All these information really blew my mind. Wrongly, I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself for having to inject all these artificial hormones in my body and spending a fortune on a treatment with no guarantee whatsoever. I had a very heavy heart when I paid the deposit given that my house is not even completed finished yet. But I am fully aware I am on a fortunate position, I just wished it hadn’t to be like this.

To top it all up, I had a massive ‘don’t do’ list including alcohol, seafood, cheese, exercise, basically consider yourself pregnant (except I’m not and there is no guarantee I will get there).

All in all today I’m feeling more deflated than excited about the ivf and my plan B if it doesn’t work is to be content with a childless life. I might need counselling for it but I will be happy 😊. At least I can tell myself I tried.

PART 2:

@Carley321 please allow yourself to feel crap and have a cry. ‘It washes the soul’. You will pick yourself up in a few days time, it’s part of the process. I’ve been doing acupuncture too and will start on reflexology soon. At least you feel you are doing something good.

@VenusStarr I agree with the girls regarding counselling, this is extremely important to you in this difficult phase. Remember that everything in life is temporary and it will pass. Well done for going through hsg.

@79andnotout good thing you have done you bloods and I hope your GP listens to you this time. Although looking back I feel I wasted a lot of my time with them and I wish I had opted for an alternative approach.

@CNizzle Glad you had a great holiday. It’s nice to have a break from everything 🙂

@Russkispy nice to hear from you. I think your plan is very sensible and you seem to be excited about it which is lovely 💜 I was listening to a podcast and the lady guest mentioned that 43 seems to be a 'natural' age limit for ivf.

@LeonieKate That’s a very strange bleeding. Have you done your fertility bloods recently? It does sound like a very short cycle which can happen once in a while.

@BambiOnIce80 good luck for this 2ww. I am doing a ‘lifestyle farewell ‘ this weekend and finishing all the nice food in the fridge I can no longer eat. What are you guys up to? 🐙🦐🦀🦞🐟🍣🥂🍷🧀 👋

Ah, ok. Splitting my 'war and peace' into 2 parts was the way to go 📚

@QuantumGirl thank you, at least I can say I've tried everything and came to my very last plan, naturally. Of course there's still possibility it might not work from the first go but hopefully we will have a few frozen embryos. Time will tell.
As for your IVF, I had a similar protocol. Don't be disheartened if it doesn't work for the first round as it's a "tryer" to see how you respond to the drugs etc but I'll be be rooting for you! And everyone else on this thread to get their BFPs!

@Russkispy, I knew you'd have a plan 😉 I bet you every single one of us would do something different with your scenario - it's soooo personal and what will be absolutely the right thing for one isn't necessarily the same for another. DP and I watched 'Private Life' on netflix (as recommended by @Kescilly) and the subject came up there. We've been trying so long for our first (and across 2 different relationships!) that we think we'll stop with one. If IVF doesn't work and we can't have that one, than we're both happy to stop there - ED/adoption just isn't for us as a couple. I think it'll take a 💩 tonne of counselling if IVF doesn't work, but that's our plan. As I say - what's right for us won't work for others. Please keep us updated with how your plan goes.x

I'm not surprised you're still processing @QuantumGirl - that's a hell of a lot to process! 🤯🤯🤯 That's really interesting about how they check the first 🥚/🎈 interaction 🤓 My biggest fear is that they literally put all my eggs in one basket and, for those of you who can remember the possibility of the potentially hardboiled or slutty egg scenario 😬, one of those turns out to be the case and the whole cycle is wasted! 😰 That's definitely going to be one of my questions when I ring up for my monthly "got any cancelled appointments?" check. Sounds like you're going to have one hell of a food-a-thon this weekend! 😋 I'm totally going to do the same in October! 😂

My weekend is going to be a busy one. 6 of DP's family are landing on Sunday and are staying for the week 😬 2 of them have never been to Britain and only 1 of them speaks English. 2 kids aged 5 & 12 and the weather's supposed to be crap... Seriously, how bad could it be?! 🤪

Thank you @BambiOnIce80. I totally appreciate that we're all different and have our own mindset. This time around we won't be sharing this journey with any of our friends or family till we get there. So I'll only have you and other ladies on over 40 thread and MMS group. Your understanding and support means a lot! Thank you!

Woke up to AF. Finally here! CD1 and TTC naturally this cycle and if nothing we start preparations for DE next cycle, with potential embryo transfer in August. Onwards and upwards....

Hi ladies, just checking in after a bit of a break.

Sorry to hear about your HSG @VenusStarr and sorry yours was painful too @79andnotout. Mine was vile and I felt really disappointed with myself as they couldn’t get a proper reading. It was really uncomfortable until they put the dye in and it felt excruciatingly painful. I panicked, think I swore and yelled at them to stop 😢🙈 So they saw the dye go through the tubes, but not out of the end. Just needed 30 more seconds apparently 😔 We’ve got a follow up appointment at the fertility clinic in a few weeks to discuss next steps and get the results of my blood test and DH’s SA.

Congratulations on your wedding @Pinkywoo & how lovely that @BambiOnIce could be there 💕

Glad you heard the heartbeat @Laney79 🤞 for a healthy pregnancy.

Sounds like a lot to take in @QuantumGirl - will be interested to hear how it goes as it’s looking more and more likely like Ivf might be on the cards for us too.

Sounds like a good plan @Russkispy - 🤞for you.

Hope everyone is o.k and wishing you all lots of luck for BFP news soon x