Crushing disappointment of TTC

[TheChineseChicken]

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative

Yaaay congratulations!! @codenameduchess

sorry about that @MapleAndCats

@codenameduchess it’s clear at day! Even in the thumbnail. Genuinely really happy for you!!!

Thanks for the sympathy ladies. I was in a right mood last night about it but today feels much brighter.

Hello everyone, I was in this thread a couple of months ago but dropped out because I was feeling overwhelmed by everything. I hope you don't mind my rejoining. I'm so pleased for all of those who have had a BFP - such lovely news!
My DH and I have unfortunately just discovered that he has 0% sperm morphology, so we're getting our heads around our next steps, which will include IVF. I'm gutted. Has anyone else had any experience with this?

Congratulations codenameduchess

AllySC so sorry to hear that, I wonder if my DP has low or no SC

@AllySC hi and really sorry to hear that. I hope you get referred quick.

Sorry about your results @AllySC, have you talked about referral and wait times with your doctor yet? It's a lot to get your head around x

Thank you all so much for being so kind. LHMB - why do you think that? It could be worth your DP going to the GP to get a test.
Orangeloo - thank you.
Codenameduchess - thank you so much, apparently it will take a few months to get an appointment with the fertility specialist on the NHS, by which time we will have gone nuts, so I think we are going to scrape together the money and go private.

Well his semen can be quite watery, he smokes, I'm forever asking him to quit. Plus other factors I think could have affected it.
But it may not be him, may be issues with me, or even both of us.

@AllySC if you have one near you the London women's clinic is reasonably affordable for treatments.

@LHMB has he tried Vaping? there are things you can do to try and improve sperm count, not smoking being one but some supplements are supposed to help too.,there are conception multi vitamins for men that could be worth a try?

codenameduchess no he hasn't but I'll look into it as he's said he's gonna try and quit smoking, thank you.

According to the app on my phone, I'm in my fertile window yesterday, today and for the next 4 days, didn't realize it was 6 days. DTD a few times although I've stopped hoping I won't come on my next period now, as I've convinced myself it will never happen, even though I know 4 months isn't long at all, considering many people can take a year or more

@LHMB I'd recommend trying Vaping, it got me and dh off the fags. You can start on high nicotine and wean off slowly so it's less of a shock than cold turkey.

I know it's shit, try not to loose all hope though as it will happen.

codenameduchess thank you

I'm definitely ovulating, so that app is right. When I went for a wee there was loads of the clear egg white CM on the paper, and when I was in the shower I checked and it's egg white, clear and stretchy, so I'm obviously fertile, it's probably down to my diet, under active thryroid, stress etc or taking longer because of my age (38) or a problem with DP, maybe low sperm count or motility or something, why I'm not getting pregnant. Or it could just be that it hasn't happened yet

@codenameduchess ahh congrats! That test is clear as day! We must have similar dates, when was your LMP (if you don’t mind me asking!)

@LHMB sorry, you might have said already- have you or dp had any tests? Over 35 you don't have to wait a year, then at least you know.

@Ells0204 EDD is 6th December I think. Lmp was 19 feb but I don't have a set cycle length so I'm going from O date. What's your edd?

codenameduchess no, Dr said it's only been 4 months so nothing to be concerned about yet. DP won't go for tests. He will never go dr's for anything, it's so frustrating

Hi @AllySC, have you been offered a sperm retest in 3 months time to check the results again? Results of semen analysis can vary wildly as sperm are reaplaced from scratch in 3 months. My husbands first test came back with 0% normal morphology and although icsi was mentioned as a future likelihood, he was advised to take proxeed for 3 months to see if it improved as morphology issues can often be helped with lifestyle changes. He never made it to the retest which should have been at the beginning of March as I am currently 11 weeks pregnant (after a year and a half of trying!). Don't give up hope!

Aw congratulations MrFlibblesEyes, that gives me hope too

@LHMB try not to worry too much at this stage. I know it's difficult and I remember when trying for DD I was absolutely convinced it wouldn't happen but it did. 4 months is really very early on in the process - anywhere up to a year is perfectly normal although it doesn't feel it at the time! There's nothing to suggest there is anything wrong so I don't think you need to start booking fertility tests yet

@codenameduchess by my lmp my edd is currently 2nd December but I am not 100% when I O’d. I have a suspicion it was CD15 which would actually put me at 3rd December.

Trying not to get too attached to my edd though as that’s what happened last time and by the time 11th December rolled round and I had no baby I was devastated.

Times going so slow. I just want to get to 12 weeks. Wish I could just hibernate until then!

Hi @MrFlibblesEyes - sadly that was the retest, so it does seem like there’s a problem. However, I think your Proxeed suggestion is a good one - a friend of mine’s husband took it with success too. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

TheChineseChicken thank you

Evening everyone, hope we are all well. @Ells0204 and @codenameduchess how are you feeling?

@AllySC I'm sorry you've had some crappy news, that just be so upsetting. I hope you manage to get seen by a specialist soon so you can discuss your options and move forward.

Hey @TheChineseChicken I'm good, feeling a bit nauseas so hoping that's a good sign. How are you doing? Are you feeling better?

Nausea is definitely a good sign. I'm feeling ok thanks. CD9 today so back on it!

Doing ok! I believe I’m 5 weeks today, no symptoms other than my boobs kind of just stayed tender and er...I’m constipated. Which I hear is a symptom of progesterone?
I’m getting waves of nausea at random times, hard to say if that’s just a coincidence.

Contrary to what sane people on here will tell me, I AM testing every other day with ICs. They’re getting darker, only by the slightest shade but still darker so I’m managing to remain fairly relaxed. If I make it past Thursday without spotting then it’ll officially be the furthest I’ve ever made it. So baby steps (no pun intended!) and trying to make it to the little milestones at the moment.

Oh - and it’s my birthday today!

Sending you lots of positive vibes for this cycle!!