Crushing disappointment of TTC

[TheChineseChicken]

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative

@Ells0204 Congratulations!!
Ps seems deleting the apps was a good thing😍😍 so chuffed for you xx

Congratulations @Ells0204 -hope all goes well for you! Sorry if you've already said is this your first?
So my AF is due Tuesday but I refuse to test unless my period totally misses coz after my CP last cycle I'd just rather not know unless I don't bleed by a week after it's due!!

@ells0204 omg! Congratulations!!!!!!!

Ahh thanks for the messages! I’m literally just going to have to try and get from one day to the next. I honestly have every one of my typical AF symptoms so I’m praying she won’t turn up this week.

Is it worth phoning the dr this morning and seeing if she’ll see me for maybe couple of blood draws over the next few days to monitor my hormones? Or is that just totally something they’ll say no to and that I need to “relax” 😐

So far I’ve done an IC on Saturday (which was so faint I wasn’t convinced) then my FRER yesterday which was much stronger. Thing is I’ve got about 50 ICs so it’s hard not to reach for them...I’ve just done two (yes TWO) in the same FMU and they’re getting darker but can’t read too much into it I suppose.

@mummybearboo yes this is my first, not first pregnancy unfortunately but praying it’ll be my first baby!

@Ells0204 honestly I doubt that a GP would do blood draws unless you are being monitored for multiple losses. I know it's hard to relax so I'm not sure I can give you any advice! Just remember that regardless of how many tests you do or don't do, you can't change the outcome of the pregnancy. So I guess you can choose to be nervous and take lots or to relax and let nature take its course! (Obviously I would be in the first camp). Sending you strength and zen

Fingers crossed for you @Ells0204 that everything works out this time - it a good sign if the test are getting darker! Xx

I'm out again so I'm now onto month 6. Just want my fucker of a period to hurry up and get here now.

Sorry to hear that @WatchingTheWheels85

@MummyBearBoo still holding out hope for you!

Hello,

I hope you dont mind me joining in, I have been reading through so many posts and I feel so alone, it was so nice to see lots of women coming together cheering each other on and supporting.

I will tell you a little bit about my sitation as I am seeking some help, First of all I have a very unpredictable period, I do have something every month it can somtimes just look like spotting sometimes be so heavy blood clot, I noticed from taking OV tests and my temp I dont always ovulate each month as my temp doesn't rise. I am overweight too so I am assuming it's down to this and not somthing else. I have been TTC for about 6 months but as I have never had a baby before I didnt realise what i was doing for first 4 months and due to my period i couldnt work out my ov date so we just DTD often and hoped for the best untill i relised u could use LH tests and temp rises.

Anyway aside from going to the gym sticking to slimming world, I have lost 10lb so far but have a lot more to go, i am being my healthiest taking vitamins and all that jazz.

This month I had a heavy period like blood clots the lot sorry TMI - and I thought this is the heaviest period I have had in a while so I took note of my body and how i was feeling. Pre predicted ov I had positive LH and my temp was around 35.80-35.90 3 days after ov my temp was still around the same on 4dpo it rose to 36.12 then next day 36.22 I then had a dip today 7dpo of 35.70 and here we are. I think I'm just broken and not working, I worry I have abused my body by being overweight and now this is my payback for being a joke of a woman. I dont mean to feel sorry for myself, i am just getting concerned and tracking my body is hard, I know I am not the only one with issues or stressed, can anyone offer any thoughts? I am 26 and am trying to get myself in the best health possible but I just need to let it all out I think, I have 2 best freinds one of which is totally anti baby and the other is getting married and not interested yet my mum passed away 3 years ago and have no aunts or grandma, im not getting the violin out but theres just nobody to turn to its all a bit up in the air? chloe xx

Hi @19CLT92
Have you ever been tested for pcos? It's common to have irregular cycles, not ovulate and be overweight (as struggle to loose it). I have it and it's shit, cycles are unpredictable, can never tell when I'll ovulate and I've let myself get way too overweight which makes it all worse.... now we're ttc again I've started going to the gym more, sticking to diets, taking metformin and am having acupuncture to try and get things on track.

10lbs loss is amazing so well done!! Don't blame yourself and try not to be too hard on yourself. Using temps and OPKs is a good step to understanding your body. So, sorry no real advice there...

It's a rubbish place to be, but we're all here together!

thanks for responding @codenamesduchess I havent been aside from my odd periods Ihavent got any of the other symptoms and I can lose weight pretty quick when Iam on slimming world it's just because i have a sit down office job and eat my feelings I gain but who knows I might. How do you get tested for that? what do they do? also would it come back on a cervical screeniong test? or a blood test? I honestly want a baby so bad it hurts, im sure we are all the same its so hard isnt it and it can be so lonely. let me know how you get on its nice to know, I admire anyone who gives birth or gets pregnant its amazing I cant wait I hope it happens one day soon. I am going to test in another weeks time, aside from being tired my boobs being a little tender i havent had any symptoms but i think its too ealry anyway. I think I would collapse if i got a BFP lol xx

@19CLT92 if you ask your doctor they can refer you for tests. It's been a while but I think it was blood tests and an internal scan. There are other things that can affect cycles so probably worth looking into anyway.

Keep going with slimming world if it's working for you 😄

@19clt92 PCOS is diagnosed through an ultrasound of the ovaries, day three bloods looking at the ratio FSH:LH, an insulin Résistance blood test, and symptoms of androgens (male hormones) both in the blood and in the body through symptoms like extra weight, male pattern bags growth, and black area of skin.

@19clt92 diagnosis criteria has recently changed but your annovulation and amenorrhea definitely make you a much More likely candidate.

@MapleAndCats that's interesting that the criteria have changed. I was diagnosed about 15 years ago now and only had a few checks since.

@codenameduchess you may want to see if you still fit under the new criteria. Apparently it was being overdiagnosed for some groups and under diagnosed for others. If you’ve been on treatment you should see if you still have it. In theory doctors should be monitoring it 🙄🙄🙄 but that never happens does it? 😔

@MapleAndCats never.... it took so long to get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test. I doubt there'd be any change to my diagnosis, pretty textbook and the androgen side effects haven't changed since the last lot of tests.

@codenameduchess ugh I’m so sorry they didn’t take you seriously. I’ve had doctors mock me to my face. Thankfully I have a really kind doctor now. They really don’t listen to women. If you’re experiencing the androgens probably there’s no change 😔 Have you tried letrozole/clomid?

Congratulations Ells It's lovely to hear some good news on this thread and gives me hope. Take one day at a time and stay positive xx

@MapleAndCats I'm on metformin, it helped us conceive dd last time round (took 3 years to get it but the result was worth it). I'm on month 3 now but if no improvement I'll be pushing for a referral to a specialist/clomid in the next few months.

It's infuriating that doctors still don't take women seriously. Some of the conditions can lead to big health problems later on that I'm sure cost more than treating the original issue never mind the mental health issues living with it - I've struggled so much with the excessive hair, hair loss and weight gain over the years!

@codenameduchess you’re so right. I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this!

@Ells0204 how are you getting on?

All good for now thank you @TheChineseChicken

I told my mum today and my two best friends from school. I needed them last time when I miscarried, and last time I didn’t tell them so I thought, makes no difference and I could do with a handhold!

I did go to the dr and you were right, pretty much nothing they could do! But they did give me loads of info and turns out there’s a self referral EPU at a hospital just down the road from me where any woman under 14 weeks can go in for any reason. So I’ll be making the most of that I’m sure, just keeping my fingers crossed I make it that far.

How’s everyone else getting on? X

@Ells0204 hope you're managing to stay philosophical about it all.

I'm ok although not feeling 100%. If I wasn't coming to the end of a definite period, I would think I was pregnant. Oh the irony! Just looking forward to starting TTC again in 4 days...